tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79973765896666725062024-03-13T07:04:45.670-05:00*Domestic Artist **** Domestic GoddessTabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comBlogger774125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-39727076052295305792010-09-21T12:55:00.000-05:002010-09-21T12:55:29.776-05:00This Is The EndOk--I have actually moved to the new blog now:<br />
<a href="http://theknittingjourneymanrefitted.wordpress.com/">I Am Still The KnittingJourneyman </a><br />
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It is still not 100% up to date -- but I am posting there regularly now... and will be posting there exclusively from now on.<br />
<br />
Come join me. Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-83699665832447137742010-09-18T11:12:00.000-05:002010-09-18T11:12:29.903-05:00New Post UpI am slowly moving things over to wordpress, so I can keep the continuity of everything I do.<br />
<br />
Feel free to follow me over there.<br />
<br />
Here's a link to the <a href="http://theknittingjourneymanrefitted.wordpress.com/2010/09/18/dinner-last-night/">first real post</a>... <br />
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Of course, the actual first post was more of an introduction. <a href="http://theknittingjourneymanrefitted.wordpress.com/2010/09/12/hello-world/">See it here</a>.<br />
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Now, please do keep in mind, I do not have the new blog all set up as yet...but I am getting there.<br />
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I will probably post notices for the next week or so on this blog, and then everything will be on the new blog...just so you have warning! <br />
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Thank you!Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-72244066645262091022010-09-10T11:08:00.003-05:002010-09-10T11:08:37.580-05:00Boy's Birthday<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I love rainy mornings. Today is nippy and damp. No rain as yet, but it is plain to see that it fell overnight. I woke up early, because R’s alarm did not go off. Not that that is why I woke up; that’s just the first thing I heard this morning, him telling me the alarm did not go off, after he finished with his shower.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TIpXmyGKBpI/AAAAAAAAEVo/hwEbEHED5KU/s1600/042.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TIpXmyGKBpI/AAAAAAAAEVo/hwEbEHED5KU/s320/042.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Today my son turns 7. Seven. I so am not going there right now. If I start down that path, I’m going to boo hoo all the way to Atlanta and back…and I do have no desire to go to Atlanta these days (sorry, GA…no offense…you’re just not at my backdoor anymore…and the trip is a b*tch to make in high heels…) </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> What did I accomplish yesterday? I threw myself into a near asthmatic fit trying to find my doll face molds….I cannot stay in the basement for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. And even then, I have to make sure I have taken my allergy pills before I descend, unless I am working on laundry. Still, every trip downstairs has its repercussions. It’s the rabbit hay…when my throat started to close and one eye nearly swollen shut, I decided then it was time to flee the basement and hit the showers…and try to calm my brain down enough to breathe.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I never found my face molds. I even looked this morning. R says they are in a box. Yeah. Ok then. Good luck with that. I will go later today and grab a new mold, or a stamp, or something…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> What did I find? </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Wow—did you know I used to paint? On actual canvas? So it is not exquisite canvas or anything…but I have two paintings, small 9x12in pictures, that I painted myself. One is a collage and not for sale…if I remember correctly it was my first playtime with modeling paste. It was also a dreamboard too, if I remember…it’s not right here with me, so I don’t know what I wrote on the back.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I found a big stash of sewing supplies. After assembling my sewing kit into one big place (which I still haven’t written about…yet) , I was sort of whiny because I had lost just so much stuff. Now, I knew I had my scissors all together, but still packed away...but I found stashes of needles and of sewing notions, of measuring tapes and safety pins. I have yet to find my original stash of safety pins, but no harm there. They weren’t the good coil-less kind, so I’m fine. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I found so many things last night—not anything for which I was looking, but hey. I found my other two spirit dolls…so now I can take pictures and have them up on <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/">the blog</a>…<a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Kerry the Glass fairy</a> sparked a couple ideas about having online portfolios of my work…so there I need to go…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I found some of my drawings and scribbling (as in pictures, not text). I am thinking I may be ok at this <a href="http://www.historicwebster.org/">sale in November</a>.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I got up this morning, feeling ever like the mermaid struck a bargain and now living on land, fighting every ounce of everything just to be able to move—don’t worry—once I get moving, everything is ok, except the pain in my feet…I took an allergy pill on an empty stomach—not always a bright thing to do…and went downstairs to shovel through some boxes. Did I find my molds? Nope. I did find some stuff for the kids, some of the dream catchers my mother made, some examples of my key dolls that I plan to make for <a href="http://www.historicwebster.org/">the sale</a>…I am feeling well enough about that now. Although I don’t really want to part with the one 9x12in painting of the tree…I think I really do need to bite the bullet and have some of the merchandise in my brain made up and offered for sale…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> What else did I do this morning? Well, I did not finish seaming N’s <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/captain-america-sweater">Captain America sweater</a> yet… I am not happy w my seaming. There is the real reason I have hemmed and hawed and waited so long to seam the thing. I did find the star for the chest last night during my basement search…the sweater will be done before N gets here this evening…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I still need to wrap everything. <a href="http://attic24.typepad.com/weblog/2010/05/granny-striping.html">His blanket</a> is not done, nor will it be. However, my boy gave me the solution to my <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/09/this-week-week-end-little-last-week.html">three skein dilemma</a> the other day when we were all at <a href="http://www.hobbylobby.com/">hobby lobby</a>, last Monday. He does love to help pick things out. While we were there, he handed me two balls of yarn, one red and one white. I asked him what I was supposed to make for him with them and he said I don’t know. Well, I put those two back, since I was only there for the yarn for his <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/modern-chain-maille">chain maille sweater</a>…but the idea kept sitting there. I know I have white red heart super saver in my stash…actually it’s more of an off-white, but still. The second color stripe on his blanket is off-white. His blanket will be white and red…and I know that will make him happy.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Add into that I am now more determined than ever to find a dvd of finishing techniques for my knitting. No wonder I prefer to work seamless items…to the point where I won’t even bother contemplating seamed projects, unless I feel a need to re-write the pattern for myself in the round…and so far, I have plenty of seamless patterns to choose from. Writing it out for myself is superfluous.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> His red <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/modern-chain-maille">chain maille sweater</a>…I made the mistake of working on it while I was tired…I need to frog about 6 rows, and since I am wimpy about doing it…I’m stalling on that. Not that I ever thought, not after Wednesday anyway, that I would have it done in time for his birthday or anything…but still….</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I need to run to the store yet. N requires a red chocolate cake for his birthday. We fluked into red icing at the store the other day—so woo hoo. I keep thinking red velvet cake, red velvet cake…but I am thinking N won’t like red velvet cake…so I am making a combination of the two…plus lots of cupcakes….We’ll see how it goes. I have to grab a red velvet cake mix. The chocolate portion is already done. That and I need to run to a different store to grab … doll face molds…I have a 50% off coupon for <a href="http://www.michaels.com/">michael’s</a> and I am not afraid to use it!</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> And with that, I am going to get back to work…because I still haven’t even wrapped the boys presents yet…so…ciao…</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TIpXzUdzeQI/AAAAAAAAEVw/UbppA9N9XvQ/s1600/070.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TIpXzUdzeQI/AAAAAAAAEVw/UbppA9N9XvQ/s320/070.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-39960774146188648472010-09-09T11:23:00.001-05:002010-09-09T11:23:16.622-05:00New Moon On WednesdayYes, I know it's Thursday...I am of course running behind, on all things...<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"> The <a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/september-new-moon">September New Moon</a> was yesterday.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">It is time to meditate, to brood (like a hen) over a new crop of ideas…do the ideas really have to be new? Or can I take my perfectly usual ideas and fluff them up a bit, set them back up on the pedestal and work harder this time around in order to achieve these goals? I like that image…these ideas, turned into goals…and letting the work begin.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Where do I want to direct my energy?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Home. My Home. OUR Home. Capital H. Some days, I wander around, wondering if I really belong here, if I really fit in here. I am the airy fairy artistic type. I have warned R about this over and over. I will never be conventional. He knows that—he knows me. It does suck to date someone you’ve been such good friends with for 11+ years…the man knows my moods and my behaviors better than I do some days…it is disconcerting. Be careful what you wish for…I wanted a man who ‘got’ me, who understood me…yeah, well, now I have one…and it can be very …painful, annoying, aggravating, etc…when he points out he recognizes my actions and knows what comes next based on my past relationships…and I can’t quite get the point across to him…or to myself…that no matter how nuts I am or how estranged I get, the one huge difference is I do not want to leave this relationship, I have no desire to end this relationship, and nothing in Heaven or Hell or anywhere in between is going to destroy this relationship. It’s just getting over my guilt, after all we went through as friends, much less as lovers, living here again…without shoving all of his stuff aside and feeling as if I am completely taking over…among other things…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Home. Energies directed towards Home. Turning house into Home, Our Home. That includes organizing, building things like shelves, putting up mirrors and pictures, mopping, vacuuming…nestling in…nesting…on a whole other level.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TIkItngf6OI/AAAAAAAAEVg/5C1N0KXCZwg/s1600/061.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TIkItngf6OI/AAAAAAAAEVg/5C1N0KXCZwg/s320/061.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> <span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> (c) 2010 T Webber</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Funny. Home is the first thing that comes up. It really does mean so much to me. Home with a capital H.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Next is my art. Drawing. Painting. Sculpting. Today I need to find my molds and make some doll heads. I decided that I am making key dolls for <a href="http://www.historicwebster.org/">the craft show in November</a>. I still need to pull out some of the alpaca fiber I have and see what I can do w that in regards to my dolls as well.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">The one doll head I sculpted by hand that I love so much…I can’t find it. I can find the other three that didn’t do a thing for me, but not the one I love and want to use as a template. They were all together on top the dresser…now, who knows?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I had such an epiphany not too long ago, while reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/America-Knits-Melanie-Falick/dp/1579652875?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">America Knits</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1579652875" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> by Melanie Falick. The piece in there about <a href="http://www.katharinecobey.com/boat.php">Katharine Cobey</a> hit me, hard. Hard. Knitted sculptures. Wow. I knew I wanted to move into other fields…I still yearn for the day when I get my blow torch and plenty of metal with which to play…but Katharine’s work really touched me. Enough that her recommended reading list is now part of my going to buy list…except that I already own quite a bit of what’s on her list. She has a new book coming out soon, <a href="http://schoolhousepress.com/newbooks.htm#BKAA">Diagonal Knitting</a>. I am excited about that.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Now, I have been to art galleries and whatnot that had knitting on display…the last one I remember were knitted bowls without a bottom that ended much like jellyfish tentacles, all suspended from wires and entwined with one another. It’s been four or five years since then; that really is all I remember, other than my sense of utter awe that someone would knit art…that knitting could or would…or SHOULD be considered art…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">My epiphany revolved around the whole…I can do this. I can open up and explore this avenue of/for artwork. I believe it was the <a href="http://www.katharinecobey.com/sculpture_ritual.php">Ritual Against Homelessness</a> that really caught my eye, but there were so many other things as well…the <a href="http://www.katharinecobey.com/sculpture_portrait.php">Portrait of Alzheimer’s</a> is another that I simply fell in love w instantly…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">I am being drawn to books like <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Kitchen-Table-Entrepreneurs-Escaped-Poverty/dp/0813342236?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Kitchen Table Entrepreneurs</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0813342236" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> and<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Country-Living-Crafting-Business-Money/dp/1588166260?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank"> Crafting A Business</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1588166260" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> all over again…I believe my counseling work is important, but there is another realm, another facet to my life that is just begging me to reach out and grab it…and I think they are all combined with one another. Spirit inhabits everything I do…I simply have to embrace that and express it more fully, more completely…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I have the skills. I have the talent. I have that mind-numbing nerve-wracking terror of…success. That is what I need to overcome, right there, fear of success. How does one do that?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> <a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Kerry the Glass Fairy</a>, my divine and utter Muse, worked so long and so hard to get me into craft shows…over a year she asked and suggested and recommended…then again, if either of us had been more prepared we would have split a table at <a href="http://paganpicnic.org/">Pagan Picnic</a> this year. I allowed that break-in at the house across the river to hinder me for far too long…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> And there is a boom! Gotta do it! Right there. <a href="http://paganpicnic.org/">Pagan Picnic.</a> Time to select a booth size and reserve that table/space…ohmygosh…I am serious about this….wow. I don’t think it occurred to me how serious I was until right that moment.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Now, I am not planning, necessarily, to make a new dream board this Full Moon<a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/full-moon-dreamboards">http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/full-moon-dreamboards</a>…did you know that the Full Moon and the Equinox are on the same night this month? I am still happily working with my <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/simple-piece-of-posterboard.html">last dreamboard</a>…but then again, I may make a much smaller one for this month…I feel more ‘stuff’ brewing and bubbling…a dreamboard may be exactly what I need to draw that all forth…this is the first time I haven’t said anything about my writing or my counseling work…I am interested to see where the rest of this goes…</div><br />
<br />
Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-15919359087219728032010-09-09T08:47:00.001-05:002010-09-09T08:47:00.155-05:00A Wish, A Wish<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TIjjkNZ6f0I/AAAAAAAAEVQ/EtU72Xo5VEo/s1600/008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TIjjkNZ6f0I/AAAAAAAAEVQ/EtU72Xo5VEo/s320/008.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2010 (c) T Webber SoulCollage (r) card</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/wishcasting-wednesday-what-do-you-wish-for-less-of?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+JamieRidlerStudios+%28Jamie+Ridler+Studios%29&utm_content=Yahoo%21+Mail">What do you wish for less of?</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">It’s been awhile since I’ve done this, even though I always light a candle for all the other wish-casters every week. Let’s see if I remember how to do it, shall we?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">My wish this week is simple: I wish I had less drama and stress in my life.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Strange as it seems, it is always outside influences that wreak the most havoc. As in, yes, I worry about my new job. Yes, I worry about my 9yo’s inherent laziness towards her education. Yes, I worry about my 7yo, all the time. Yes, I worry about being prepared for my very first craft show in November. Yes, I worry about any number of things. But these are not really the things I need less of…not really.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">What I wish is for people to stop trying to interfere, to improve things, to point things out, to involve me, to involve my family, to help, to hinder, to all sorts of other things.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">One step back…this is a visual demonstrations. I forgive, but I never forget. I hold grudges. The old guy next door disrespected me once before, a long long time ago and I have never really forgotten it. I take a savage pleasure in affecting his sense of … rightness…when it comes to our yard. Our yard. Not his yard. I would never do anything to his yard, ever.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">We planted azaleas this week-end. Three little azalea bushes, bought to start the landscaping process at the rental house while I was living there. Well, since someone else moved in, we decided to let them landscape any way they wanted. We kept the azaleas here. Yes, they stayed in their store containers in the front yard all these months, until this week-end.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">The guy next door is very precise. The type that mows his lawn every other day. Seriously. His grass reaches 2 inches high and he’s out there at the crack of dawn with his mower (No, he is good. He does wait until a decent hour.), mowing it down to its approved of one inch or shorter.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">We figured out where we wanted the azalea bushes. We sprayed painted a circle on the ground. E dug the holes, or she started the holes. R finished them out with the posthole digger. We planted the azaleas. I put horse hay (the rabbits never did like it, so it’s all for gardening now) around the base of the plants. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">I wasn’t watching for the neighbor on purpose; I just happen to catch the look on his face as he walked past our little azaleas. It was a look of utter disgust. I don’t know whether he likes azaleas or not, but the hay thing bothers him. It’s not like I piled hay all up in a big mound, or threw it all over the place. It’s just an inch of hay, close to the base of the plant, to help maintain moisture and give the plant something to feed on as the hay breaks down. It’s the bushes, planted out in the middle of the grass, with no bed laid, no real planning. That is what bothers him.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">He never said a word to us. So far, he hasn’t done anything to the bushes either. He does trim everything on that side of our house. We have a forsythia bush there that has been his private domain for years.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">This is the less stress thing of which I speak. Those azaleas may bother the ever-loving bejesus out of the man, but he wrinkled his nose up, kept his own counsel and walked on. And when he saw me later, he waved and smiled, which for us is conversation. He actually spoke to me once and I nearly fell over. He’s the strong silent type. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">I want less stress from other people’s issues…All that just to say that one little thing. I may not be drama-free myself, but I don’t go inserting myself into other people’s lives simply because I can. I keep my own counsel, until asked.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">That’s it. Thanks.</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-37121455216821367252010-09-07T12:43:00.000-05:002010-09-07T12:43:04.777-05:00This Week--The Week-end--A Little Last Week--Update<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Well, I have already lost an hour cleaning out my inbox this morning. And that is just going through and getting rid of all the stuff I won’t read (too many groups and newsletters, not to mention all the sales ads from various places)…at least my stove top is soaking to remove all the grime from last week when I was too tired to actually do more than wipe at it instead of clean it off well…the dogs are fed and well-petted…the rabbits are going to a new home soon (as much as I hate it, I have to take them to the <a href="http://www.hrsmostl.com/">House Rabbit Rescue</a>, so thank you so much to Rescue people…)…small fry is still asleep, but I am not considering that a bad thing right now. We’ll be up late tonight, so I am making sure she gets enough rest…we get to go to bowling league w R tonight. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We definitely did get a great deal accomplished, not only this week-end, but last week as well.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Our composters have arrived…and are in need of being put together. We should have assembled one this week-end, but we were all tired and raggedy and wanting to just spend time together…so we’ll be doing that Wednesday instead.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We finally planted the remaining outdoor plants, two pampas grasses and three azalea bushes…we also set up our raised bed ring around our tree in the front yard (there is still debate as to what sort of tree it is). Instead of moving the hostas, since the ring turned out to be smaller than we had thought…although we still could have moved the hostas, we were really too tired to anyway…we planted the chocolate mint in the ring…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That was actually fun. Both kids helped. N helped spread the dirt and then walked around and around in the ring to tamp down the dirt…E put the rocks in (crystals I can’t throw away but won’t let in the house anymore) …we found two little green inch worms…I think they may have been on the mint and not on the tree, but they could have fallen off the tree while I was filling the ring with dirt. I can’t wait until next year to see that ring over full of mint…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">This is also the time of year when I am contemplating what other bushes we need to get and get into the ground asap before winter comes. I know I want mock orange bushes and lilac trees…but E and I have decided we must have lots of flowers, especially sunflowers, after all the birds and butterflies we have seen this year…I may have to set her up an area in the front yard that is nothing but flowers…which for me means bulbs since I usually suck at raising flowers…but we’ll see.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We planted tomato seeds in one planter, the one we were growing garlic in…and though we forgot we did it, since we thought the seeds were old anyway, we now have a tomato plant growing on the front porch, with flowers blooming on it. In the back yard, although one planter seems to have no more tomato plants, the other planter not only has strong plants, but the plants are flowering as well. Another planter that had nothing in it that I dumped a bunch of salad seeds into does have lettuce growing in it. Now that I have the rabbity garden goods growing again, the rabbits are going to go live elsewhere. Seems rather sad. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I did get N’s room turned around (so he wouldn’t be sleeping so close to the curtains). All the extra bedding is finally out of his room…although the chest still needs to be moved yet. At least all his broken nut cracker toys are on his dresser now (for the record, he breaks the nutcrackers…he loves to open and shut their jaws, but he also loves to remove the lever that you raise and lower to work the jaw…so I don’t think any of his nutcrackers have the levers in the back any more). He was happy he had his nutcrackers and his bakugan stuff from the holidays last year. I finally got his stars and his dream catchers up on the wall…now it feels more like his room…even though the closet is not yet 100% his yet. It is at least progress.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I had my ‘office space’ cleared up…then I went to the library…then I needed to print something. Now it’s a mess. One day here soon I am going to have to do something else for a desk. Technically, I have one waiting downstairs. I need to finish off that space (and that will be after the rabbits leave). I have a Green Tara plaque that cannot be hung from a wall that I need to put somewhere…but then if we go there, I have quite a few Mother statues that need a shelf or two…and these are the good ones, like the one from the monks in Italy…sigh…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We did go to <a href="http://www.lowes.com/">lowe’s</a> and look at wood…all we really need to do is figure out what style of bookcase we are going to build…I ordered all the wood-working books (and then some) this morning…I also ordered a wood-workers wooden toys that teach book as well.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We made it to <a href="http://www.hancockfabrics.com/">hancock fabrics</a> yesterday…and I am still hyperventilating a bit over that….but for what we bought, we did really well. They had <a href="http://www.simplicity.com/">simplicity</a> patterns on sale for 99 cents each (limit 10) … E found her Halloween costume. She had been planning to be a vampire this year (N plans to be a vampire as well…) , but once she saw that <a href="http://www.simplicity.com/p-2083-costumes.aspx">mermaid pattern</a>, it was all over. I let her pick out her fabrics, with a little bit of help … and boy, does this kid owe me now. I also picked up a good 10 yards of muslin so I can play with my one really old dress pattern…OR I can play with my <a href="http://www.simplicity.com/p-5394-misses-alice-in-wonderland-costumes.aspx">Red Queen pattern</a>…what? Did you think I would be a mermaid? I like my <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/siren">knitted mermaid pattern</a> better. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I bought plenty of supplies for the <a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Glass Fairy’s</a> purse I am making…I have a firm liner fabric, as well as enough matching thread to create a thread horse of epic proportions…I had help. N helped me pick out thread. It was on sale…I need thread…so I stocked up. My original plan was to re-stock my sewing kit, since I cannot find half of it at the moment and haven’t seen it all together since at least 2006…all I need now is a bag or basket to stick everything in…although there are still a few little things I will grab when I get around to it. Despite how much we spent, I am feeling rather good about things at the moment.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Hancock had <a href="http://mccallpattern.mccall.com/">mccall patterns</a> on sale for 99 cents each (another 10 limit)…so I got patterns for the kids…well, N changed his mind on his…but E is in heaven. Why the sudden re-interest in sewing? Well, last week, I went through my closets yet again and tossed out a whole bunch more stuff…I had this major epiphany not too long ago (that I have not finished writing about yet, which is why you haven’t heard about it) and I found out…I can make my own clothes. I can knit, crochet, sew…use duct tape and fallen leaves if I so desire. It doesn’t help that I get stuck watching seasons of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America%27s_Next_Top_Model">America’s Next Top Model</a> (J Alexander’s book<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Follow-Model-Guide-Unleashing-Presence/dp/1439150516?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank"> Follow The Model</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1439150516" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> is so awesome, I am buying it for E—not for ‘modeling advice’ but for all the solid real life advice) and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Runway">Project Runway</a>, and so on, as different networks run old seasons during the day on week-days…and sometimes on week-ends. I am inspired…not to mention, E still says she wants to be a clothing designer when she gets older…so I am trying to inspire her and help her learn different things…like all fabric is not created equal…much like all yarn is not created equal. Just because it’s pretty doesn’t mean it drapes or moves…or that it is easy to work with…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I finally got my hands on<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fairy-Tale-Knits-Projects-Happily/dp/0470262680?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank"> Fairy Tale Knits by Alison Stewart-Guinee</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0470262680" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" />. I had seen a pattern for free when the book first came out…and for some reason I kinda went meh and went on to something else…but with library access and too much time to scan for knitting books via the online library catalogue…I decided to borrow it… I ordered my own copy this morning. I started the <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/modern-chain-maille">Modern Chain Maille sweater</a> for N for his birthday this Friday. The kid will be 7—he doesn’t really want anything for his birthday—other than two cakes…his dad has to get him the chocolate cake with chocolate icing—I have to make him the red chocolate cake with red chocolate icing…with no pictures or words on the top…just the cake. That’s all he’s really asked for…except for <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/grinda-hat">the hat</a> he asked me to make him awhile ago. I started a scarf to match, but frogged it. I started mittens, but frogged them. I will make him mittens before too long here. He likes them. And probably a dragon scarf too…no clue as to which patterns I will use…yet. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">But, I actually got very excited with the book…I am also planning to make him the crown hat, the princess version…the prince version looks too cluttered to me, not quite a crown…but there are other patterns too…they will both love the pirate stuff. Not to mention, these patterns go up to size 8 (most of them) and they are worked in the round, rather than seamed, for the most part. I am all about the seamless work these days. There is a great deal to be done with this book.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I have to decide what sort of blanket to make our friends. Their baby shower is coming up. Do I make the normal ultra plush ultra fluffy baby loved and approved blanket that I always make…or do I make something else since we just gave a similar blanket to another couple for their new baby…and they are all friends, so is it impolite to give the same gift, even in different colors, just because they are both having babies, even though I know every baby who has ever gotten one of these blankets ends up loving the blanket to death and then some? Hmm. I have a little bit of time on that one…but not that much. I may let R handle this one.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I haven’t picked up my <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/leaf-t-shirt">cotton silk t-shirt</a> this past week. Too busy trying to come up w something for N. Same goes for <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/not-that-innocent">the silver bikini</a>. I only have about 50 more rows before I bind off the bottoms…but N comes first. I did pull out my crochet hooks and work one whole panel (that’s one whole skein of yarn, btw) of a blanket just for N in his favorite reds…I am surprised by the lack of red yarn in my stash, but at least I had some…three skeins of red heart super saver. <a href="http://attic24.typepad.com/weblog/2010/05/granny-striping.html">Here is where I got the pattern</a>. I love the pattern. It’s so easy even I can do it. My crochet skills are rather lacking. But this is fun. I am not changing colors; I am simply starting at one end of the skein of yarn and going until I can’t finish a complete row anymore. I didn’t measure a thing. To start the foundation chain, I simply worked a chain as long as N is tall, or a little bit more so. When I first saw this pattern, I had thought it would be a great pattern to make a blanket for our bed…I may as yet do that.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I have a blanket that my grandmother crocheted; my mother said it was the last thing she ever crocheted before Arthur got her for good (Arthur—come on, you know him…Arthuritis…arthritis…). I covet this thing. No one is allowed to touch it. It looks as if it is all single crochet, done on a small hook…two panels crocheted together. I have tons of knitted and crocheted blankets, most that I picked up at thrift stores or inherited from other sources (as in, this is what I kept after the divorce) , some from my mom that are in the same category as the one from G (no touchy)…but none that I made. We have small throws I have knitted…and that N has usually pulled and yanked until there are fringes where no fringes should be—he’s very tactile—that I will take full responsibility for—I am extremely tactile as well...but we have nothing really more than a throw for over the back of the couch to keep your feet warm or something that I’ve made. So, this blanket works really great here. I may not get it done before his birthday…and I know I am going to need more yarn…one skein of red heart super saver does not very far go with this. Right now…the blanket looks more like a long scarf…and I have three skeins of red in my stash…I used to have more…but I used it or I gave it away when I went through all my yarn last year…I can’t even find my own coveted maroons either…sigh. Anyway, I want the kids to have a blanket, each of them, which I made for them. Knitted or crocheted. Although I am thinking this month, being National Sewing Month, would be a cool month to sew them blankets…I have a ton of fleece remnants and pieces downstairs. I may not be able to make huge blankets, but I could make something. That is totally back burner at the moment. At least I have started N’s and we’ll see what I can accomplish by Friday. I have to seam his Captain America Sweater…and decide about the star. I have to finish the chain maille sweater. Plus, I have to see about making him a red velvet cake…we’ll have to see. I know him, the little pain. Red chocolate means one thing to me and one thing to him. I have to be prepared…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Today I need to run to the store and buy supplies for my craft show so I can get busy on that. After I finish some of N’s stuff. We are going to Branson next week, so I will be able to get a bunch of new ideas…maybe…what I want to do is get back into making my own soap again…but even if I made it today, the soap wouldn’t be ready by November anyway…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">All right. Enough of my own writing for now. I have to get some work done.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Plans for this week?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Finish N’s birthday stuff. Hopefully get some things ready for the November craft show.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Four to six articles per day.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Set up sewing kit…and hopefully sewing area.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Unpack and sort through the rest of the old kitchen stuff…yeah…that’s not done yet. Did you think only books were left in boxes right now? Nope.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Mop floor in basement. Kids spilt milk and ice cream down there.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Mop up rabbit area. I also need to clean out the hay bin before we send the boys away. *sigh* I hate to see them go, even though I haven’t been able to go near them for more than half a second in so long.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That covers that. I have to go…too much to do today and it looks like rain. I can’t drive in the rain. Panic attacks ensue.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">TTFN….you must think this in the original Tigger’s voice, or it does not count.</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-13866549332597671312010-08-30T08:46:00.000-05:002010-08-30T08:46:00.486-05:00Monday Morning, First Thing<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> I needed to hang out with some other 8-9-10 yos this week-end to really see how far behind E is. Ok, I am more lax than I thought…and Waldorf pedagogy only goes so far to explain why we are so far behind. A new crack-down is happening—thank goodness R is here—otherwise, E honestly would have to go to school…although I am not ruling out Montessori at this point—and Montessori is in her future. As soon as I can find a good one that I can afford—that isn’t too far away. Yes, yes, I know—criteria. At least E has been put on notice and at least things here will be changing. For that, I am very glad.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> And again---grr that I cannot get to the books I need…that too is becoming less of an issue as I spent a good bit of time re-arranging the basement last night. I have a small little office area set up already … I have access to my yarns, to my fabrics, and now to my clays. I can reach my paints, as well as my ATC papers and some other things drawing related. I need to do three things…clear off the downstairs table (it has machines and boxes on it) and find all the pieces to my sewing machine (can’t find the cords at the moment)—and find a way to plug everything in down there when I need it plugged in. Otherwise, we have to bring things upstairs to use them, the sewing machines, the serger…which is not as bad as it seems there either.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> <a href="http://www.nationalsewingmonth.org/">September is National Sewing Month</a>. It seems very apropos to break E’s sewing machine out and get her going on that. Knock on wood. It’s not as if we don’t have patterns and fabric for her to play with downstairs. And—I know where they are too.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> Goals this week: <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> Write and submit two to four articles every single day. (Thank you, Michele—more on this later).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">Finish <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/not-that-innocent">bikini bottom and start bikini top</a>. I have fifty rows of garter stitch left on the bottoms before I can bind off and seam everything. I am actually very excited about this. Not to mention, as I was reading over the bra pattern yesterday afternoon, I discovered a Yoga version of the top written at the bottom. I am not sure which I plan to do now…I think I shall stick with the basic pattern first. If I like it, I will make the Yoga top version.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">Set E up her own blog—which will be available only by subscription. I want some caring adults (<a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Kerry</a>) to be able to read her blog and offer criticism and pointers, suggestions. Not to mention, I want to get some discipline instilled in her, not merely as a writer, but as a student.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">I must check to see if I have the right yarn for the <a href="http://www.historicwebster.org/">Hawkins House</a> project. I have a few more ideas, both knitted and otherwise, that I need to run down.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">Decide if I am going to frog the baby blanket I have had OTNs for months and months now (for the twins) or finish it. I am leaning towards frogging it even though we have friends in need of a baby shower gift coming up in September…but really it wouldn’t take all that long to finish the blanket anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">Cast on my friend’s birthday present. I can’t find the original pattern I used to make my own shawl/wrap/scarf thingy (great name, huh?) –but I can wing it…and it might not be such a bad idea to wing the pattern anyway…even though it is nothing like the original pattern. I do so prefer to be safe.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">Find rabbits a home. This is so mandatory at this point it is not even funny. We switched from the knock me on my butt/knock me out allergy pills to a once a day type—but the new stuff doesn’t really work all that well. Even though I am setting up the basement as a work space, with the rabbit’s downstairs the workspace isn’t applicable until I can get the air quality settled and ---mold? Or whatever free. Good news is we are finally coming back down to the bottom of the hay bin…so this time I won’t buy hay until I clean that sucker out really well. But R keeps reminding me, the allergy was there even before I had the huge reactions to it. So, even as I say we can clean things up on one hand, the other issue is still likely there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">R set up the desktop pc last night. Today I have to find out what it needs to get it to run and to see if it will run E’s new program. Plus, I have to remind R we are going to Micro Center tonight so we can get hardware to update his computer.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">Set up E’s excel sheet (thank you, Chott family)…her chart on her bedroom door is obviously not clear enough or detailed enough, so R and I are borrowing another family’s idea; we are setting up a fairly detailed excel sheet of chores and schoolwork assignments for E.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">Having said all of this, let me also say things are moving along nicely on <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/leaf-t-shirt">my t shirt sweater</a>. Even though I am working on size 7US needles and was expecting the progress to be very slow (compared to the tanks I’ve been making on <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/ribby-halter-3">10 ½</a> US or <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/ballet-t-shirt">15 US</a> needles), I am actually very impressed with the way things are moving along. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> I have been holding back on casting on my <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/seamless-yoke-sweater">seamless yoke sweater</a>, only because I have so many other projects OTNs…but it shouldn’t be too much longer now before I cast on for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> BTW, the <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/easy-knit-doll">zombie doll</a> came back this week-end. Pictures will be put up on ravelry soon. Now the poor little thing has arms, thank goodness. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> Remind me—I actually need to block and seam <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/captain-america-sweater">N’s birthday sweater</a>. We had to go to hobby lobby this week-end to grab the yarn for the rest of his birthday ‘stuff’—his matching scarf and mittens to go with <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/grinda-hat">his hat</a>. I have the pattern saved <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/people/knittingjourney/queue">in my ravelry queue</a> for the mittens. The scarf…it may look simply, but I am actually going to improvise this one, as I have not seen one like the one I am planning.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> My only other thing today is to clear off my work space and the dining room table…I could use a bookcase close to my desk, but that’s not going to happen—no space. I’ll have to see what else I can do.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> And now…on with the show.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-65536303043308033602010-08-25T10:50:00.003-05:002010-08-25T10:50:15.016-05:00My August Moon Full Moon Dreamboard<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";"> I knew the Full Moon was coming. I could feel it. I love that feeling some days. Then again, there is nothing I love better than moon-bathing anyway. I am not a sun person. I have always belonged to the Moon.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";"> I didn’t officially know it was the full Full Moon until this morning, but yesterday morning I was already planning what I wanted to do for the <a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/full-moon-dreamboards-the-full-sturgeon-moon">Full Moon Dreamers DreamBoard.</a> I did not plan to work on a collage. I still have plenty of work to do with my last <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/simple-piece-of-posterboard.html">collaged dreamboard</a>. It took me a bit of time to figure out what I wanted to do, but I decided I would take a picture for my dreamboard. No drawing, or painting, or collaging or anything else. One simple picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">Here it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/THU7By27s0I/AAAAAAAAEUw/Ha49zYQvDm8/s1600/015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/THU7By27s0I/AAAAAAAAEUw/Ha49zYQvDm8/s320/015.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">Now, I am sitting here at my computer while wearing <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/ballet-t-shirt">a t-shirt that I knitted myself</a>, in just a few hours, on Monday night. It’s not as amazing a feat as it seems; I knitted it on really big needles. The point of the matter with this t-shirt is I made it. I made it myself…and I am wearing it. I love it. It is actually something I will wear in public and will be happy and proud to say, yes, I did make this myself. It is that cool for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">It’s the whole process behind this little t-shirt that has me jazzed. I did not wake up in the morning on Monday thinking, I am going to knit myself a t-shirt today. What I was thinking was I have to make time to set up different accounts for various things, start applying for different things, get my butt in gear. I was thinking I would have to make time in the evening to work on <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/not-that-innocent">my silver bikini set that I am knitting</a>. What happened was I reached a stopping point with my applications processes, so I started looking for something to do with this amazing yarn we had picked up over the week-end while we were out at a <a href="http://www.festivalofthelittlehills.com/">festival in St Charles</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/farmhouse-yarns-silk-blend">Farmhouse silk Blend</a>, four skeins, in two different colors. It isn’t enough, I don’t think, to make an entire sweater (although it might be and I am too inexperienced to realize it), but I could make something, like a tank top or a short sleeved shirt of some kind with it. So, I spent a great deal of time on <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/">ravelry,</a> gorging myself on patterns and knitted glory. What happened while I was perusing the pictures and patterns on ravelry was too much of a coincidence for me to be comfortable.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">As I went through all these patterns, I found out how many of the patterns I thought were cute and doable that <i>I already own</i>…because I already own the books…I just didn’t realize it…my books are still in boxes, still being stored. That’s my life. I have everything I need—I just don’t know it/realize it—and I need to bring it out, unpack it and make use of it. Right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">This t-shirt is a case in point. I was TICKED when I found out how cute and how SIMPLE this pattern is to make. (It was that much worse to find out when I first bought the book, I had marked this same pattern to do later on…) I took <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/08/ending-of-great-house-rabbit-experiment.html">an allergy pill</a>, went into the basement, and started to dig through the boxes of books, trying to unearth some knitting books. I was successful. I found my copy of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Loop-d-Loop-More-Novel-Designs-Knitters/dp/1584794143?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Loop-d-loop</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1584794143" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" />…and I was thrilled to find out I actually have the correct yarn on-hand with which to knit this project. I cast on about four or five times before I got it down and got it right…then I went to town. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">This t-shirt, the one I am wearing, is my prototype. I made it on big needles so I could get a feel for making a top-down seamless raglan sweater without having to stress over thin yarn, little needles and days and days of effort hoping it turns out. When I made this current t-shirt, I was thinking all along, if it doesn’t fit me, then my 9yo daughter will love the fact I made her a brand-new shirt. There was no way to lose there, unless I really screwed it up. I didn’t screw it up. I am now addicted to top-down seamless sweater construction. I cast on for my <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/leaf-t-shirt">second t-shirt</a>, using the thin yarn and the smaller needles, last night.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">Better yet, even working top-down t-shirts counts towards my goal of knitting a <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/seamless-yoke-sweater">bottom-up seamless yoke sweater</a>. It’s the process. I make something on large needles…I gain the confidence to go back and do it again on smaller needles…which gives me the confidence to try doing the same thing, only different…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">This is me. This is my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">I am totally afraid of screwing up, of failing, but I can fail. I’ve been failing all my life. Failure is no big thing. You screw up. You fail. You fall. You get up. You dust yourself off. You try try again. I fell down a rabbit hole a long long time ago. Every time I think I have crawled out of the rabbit hole, I find myself lost in the warren some more, climbing out of one hole only to find myself on another level, with another hole waiting for me to climb out of it whenever I am ready…but I never seem to find that final resting place, that ahhhh place, where the climbing and the crawling all end. I wonder why I won’t let myself have that?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">So, my Full Moon DreamBoard Picture today is all about ACTION…as in I am honestly actually in the process of DOING…I am knitting my t-shirt…I am knitting my <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Naughty-Needles-Bedroom-Beyond-Potter/dp/0307337375?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">bikini</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0307337375" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" />…I am writing and being paid to do so…I am creating…I am living…and I am loving it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">Maybe I am meant to remain in the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Alice-Wonderland-Johnny-Depp/dp/B001HN694K?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">rabbit hole</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B001HN694K" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" />. Maybe I genuinely like the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Alice-Wonderland-Lewis-Carroll/dp/1441412050?ie=UTF8&tag=a0a047-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">rabbit hole</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a0a047-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1441412050" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" />, and have merely failed to recognize that fact. I have a whole new bunch of theories about ‘loving the one you’re with’ and ‘being happy with where you are’ –and they all revolve around what utter garbage that is…because that is called SETTLING…and I have settled my entire bloody life…and I am sick and tired of trying to make silk purses out of pig’s ears and then feeling bad because I failed at making silk purses. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">I will make my own purses, not from pig’s ears, and not made of silk…well, ok, except for the purse I have been commissioned to build and create for my lovely friend <a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">the Glass Fairy</a>…but she bought the fabric, so that choice was not mine. That’s a good thing though.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Gisha","sans-serif";">I will have my cake, which I will make myself, and I will eat it too…and of course, I will share it too.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-18863004898708829482010-08-23T08:37:00.000-05:002010-08-23T08:37:35.626-05:00The Ending Of The Great House Rabbit Experiment<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Well, as much as I hate to admit it, and since right now I can only see clearly out of one eye due to the hay allergy, the house rabbit experiment has failed. Not because of the rabbits themselves…but because of the hay issue. Whatever is done to the small animal timothy hay is costing me too much. I had another allergic reaction, a much smaller one, this past week. Which means I took allergy pills that knocked me out all day…and then kept me off-balance the rest of the week-end. It’s not as if I haven’t developed the habit of taking an allergy pill every morning either—because as much as I hate it, I have been. I switched allergy pills after a trip to the store this week-end—but these ones make me feel bad in a totally different way.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Personal baggage alert: in order to be able to enter the building for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AT&T">SBC</a> operator services in Ft Smith, AR, I had to take high doses of allergy pills…I was not the only one…it was an on-going epidemic back then (late 90s) … so I hate allergy pills unless absolutely needed… and feeling the need to pop a pill every day single just to stay even and not feel so terrible…needing to pop a pill just ticks me off on too many levels. I have worked so very hard to make sure I use nothing but herbs and natural healing methods…and now I have to pop a pill every morning again. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Then again, since my one eye is nearly swollen shut from the hay allergy…with little pockets of …it’s not hives around my eye or else the allergy pills would have taken care of it…but there are small pockets of fluid around my eye –as of last night…so…despite my best efforts and my strong desire to make sure the buns had really good homes to go to before we got rid of them…I don’t necessarily think that is going to happen at the moment. At this point, it may become I have to dump them at the rabbit rescue as fast as I can…and be done w it…which really kills me.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I have issues w people who get pets and then find out they don’t work and dump them off on other people, or dump them off on the rescue agencies…we have one friend whose daughter just got her own place…the daughter has had seven puppies in the past year…and just got a new one…and no, she does not have seven or eight dogs; she only has one at a time. I hate feeling as if I am that type of person, even though I am trying so hard to get through this allergy…even though I wanted to make sure the buns go to good homes…even though I don’t want to feel as if I am throwing them out in the cold and turning my back on them…which is how I feel at the moment…but in the end, it still comes down to my health is very compromised at the moment due to the whole hay issue…so I cannot continue along this path. Plus, I have to have a rapid solution.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> <a href="http://www.hrsmostl.com/">House Rabbit Rescue</a> is already over-run w all the buns they’ve been saving from breeders and other sources lately—I hate to add to that problem…but at this point, I really do not have a choice. Not to mention, as much as I like to joke about Simon being called Dinner now—they live in the house—they are pets—they are not food…so having them become meat bunnies is not a viable option.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Worse yet, I think if we could move them outside…my allergies would be ok…but it’s summer…and we have no place to put them …no place where they’d be protected from predators, the heat and the sun, or even other rabbits at this point…because our backyard is riddled w wild rabbits…they don’t even try to hide the entrances to their den under the shed anymore…domestic rabbit poop does not frighten off wild rabbits…no matter how much we try…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> So, if you want two adorable neutered 7 mo boy angora buns…with cages…and fences…and food and hay and toys and cardboard boxes and feeders and waterers and everything else…email me asap…I just want them to go to a good home...</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Next time I do bunnies, they will be outside buns…unless I find a solution to the hay issue…and if I don’t and it is not just something with this small animal timothy hay…then my whole plan for my future is toast and I have to find something else to do w the rest of my life… because all of a sudden, the future looks dreadfully empty …. Let’s see if I can save these two first; then we’ll move on as we can.</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-13933363803303421002010-08-18T12:59:00.002-05:002010-08-18T12:59:27.859-05:00Rebuilding Plans For Yet Another Tank<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing"> So, this morning I decided to wear my <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/ribby-halter-3">green ribby tank</a> that I knitted myself. It is number three in the <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/ribby-halter">ribby tank</a> series with which I am now deeply involved myself.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I am extremely proud of myself for having knit this thing up actually. Even though one cup is a couple rows longer than the other…the tie part really does off-set that enough so that is is not all that horrible or noticeable.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I like this tank. I like this fabric. I like this style. I like the whole thing (minus the mistake with the cups…)…which of course is why I continue to make them over and over again.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Yes, I did start the <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/bikini-top">bikini top</a> yesterday…I do have one whole cup finished. I started the second cup…but kept casting on the wrong number of stitches…so I frogged it out and went to bed…I haven’t had a chance to work on it yet today—but I will.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Now, here I am, wearing my green ribby tank, and enjoying it…and marveling at the fact that I did this myself…and that I am about to cast on for my <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/seamless-yoke-sweater">seamless yoke sweater</a>…any day now…really…and that I have the ability to knit myself an entire wardrobe…if I set my mind to it…and if there is no time limit on that…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I have new yarns meant to be used for the next ribby ribby…and as I am wearing this one (because my favorite one out of <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/ribby-halter-2">alpaca and cotton</a> is STILL too warm to wear at the present moment…), I have some ideas as to how I would like to rebuild the next tank.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> First of all, I am not going to be knitting the size 36…I think the size 38 will be larger enough…if not, the version after that will be made in size 40. My hips are considerably larger than my waist, by a good ten inches or so…I want the next tank long enough to hit about halfway down my hips…much as this green one does…but without me feeling a little bit of a tug when I reach the end of the stretch of the cast on edge where it won’t stretch any more. I will still cast onto to needles a size or two larger; that really helped a great deal with this green tank.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I would also like more stockinette stitch before the cups again…the transition between ribbing to stockinette stitch to beginning of cups falls at about nipple level…and I would prefer it fall below my breasts. I know it doesn’t need to do so; I merely think it will look better.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I cannot stand the cups curling in the way they do. I did slip the first stitch of every row, and yet they curl in so…more on the outer edges (towards the arm pits) rather than the inner edges (cleavage area).</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I would like to recreate the mistake I made that caused the dead center stitch for the cups to open up in both direction…it honestly looks as if nothing is attached to it, no bind off stitch, no nothing. I actually like that. I really hope I wrote down what I did to screw that up; it’s a mistake worth making again.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Next time, I am sewing the ties down in back. No more tying behind my neck…I tend to catch my hair when tying it…plus I feel better not needing to tie it. Just a personal preference thing.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> After I finish the bikini top, before I write out my sweater pattern, as I am still contemplating the yoke design, I do believe I will cast on for another ribby tank…this time, using two strands of worsted weight yarn…as well as the above adjustments.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Can’t wait to see how that turns out. Can you?</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-45195400056327692622010-08-17T13:02:00.000-05:002010-08-17T13:02:57.372-05:00This Week--Reviewed<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Yes, I know it’s Tuesday, but it has been a long week since last week…so I am not necessarily talking only about this week right now…more like the past 7 days.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Let’s see. This Monday and last Monday were similar…running errands.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Last Monday, the kids and I did all sorts of shopping: groceries, bought the chairs for the dining room table…I can’t even remember what day we bought the fish…but we have new guppies –even one male with a lovely double tail…now we have all sorts of new babies floating around too…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Tuesday we spent the evening w friends while R golfed…Wednesday…I had a HUGE allergic reaction to the mold in the rabbit’s hay. Last time we bought hay, nearly the entire middle of a 96 ounce bag of ‘premium’ <a href="http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2753608">Kaytee timothy hay</a> was full of what looked like mud and mold…so I ended up tossing out more than half the bag (hindsight says I should have tossed the whole thing)…the next bag of hay I bought came from <a href="http://www.petco.com/Shop/SearchResults.aspx?Nav=1&N=0&Ntt=hay">Petco</a>, their store brand, which the <a href="http://www.hrsmostl.org/">House Rabbit Society</a> people all told me was not good…and it isn’t…it’s the seconds or whatever, badly cut short straws, mostly dust…but I’ve never had a dirt/mold issue w them, so far…this past week, I decided we’d try a different store completely in the hopes that that one kaytee bag was merely a fluke. Apparently, it is not. This time, the kaytee hay looks fine…but I had a very violent reaction to it. I grew up wallowing in hay on various farms … clean hay is not the issue…we all agree on that one…so…moldy hay caused a very violent reaction. It was awful…I was really making good time cleaning and organizing the basement…I had cleaned up the rabbit cages and pulled the bamboo rug to toss…I had some shelves up and was getting stuff put on them…I was finally making headway…when my neck started to itch. Now, the problem is…I’ve had this little bit of a rash for awhile…nothing big; nothing major. My neck gets itchy, especially when I sweat. We originally thought it might be R, because …well…because…but then it moved up into my eyes about 2-3 weeks ago…again nothing major. Dry, itchy, rough skin…not even a discoloration or anything…but then a few days after my eyes started to bug me, my scalp, just in one area, started to bug me…dandruff shampoo quickly got rid of the scalp itch… it also seemed to help when I used the shampoo on both my eyes and my neck as well…when my neck began to itch on Wednesday, I thought at first it was because I was sweating…and any sweat can make my neck itch unbearably. I tried to stop myself from scratching a couple times, so I didn’t scar my throat or anything…but it dawned on me after about ten minutes…it was still really itching badly…and I now had skin under my fingernails… I needed to wash my neck to stop the sweat from making me itch…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Now, no burning running eyes…no coughing or sneezing or wheezing…nothing but this horrible wasp-like itch…I walked into the bathroom and freak…my neck is swollen and covered with hives, from nearly the nape of my neck all around the front down to just below my collarbones. When I first saw it, I wasn’t sure how much damage I had caused by scratching. Since I hadn’t realized it was mold or anything by that point, I did what I normally do…I cleaned my neck…and the hives on the inside of my elbow of one arm and my wrist of the other arm…with <a href="http://www.acne.org/sea-breeze-astringent-original-formula-reviews/598/page1.html">sea breeze</a>. Honestly, it stung, but not as bad as it could have. The problem was…it didn’t help the itching…at all…so I went nuts trying to find hydrocortisone cream, knowing we have three tubes somewhere in the house…because R had some before we moved in, E had her own tube for her itchies, and I bought a tube after we moved in because I couldn’t find his or hers at one point…after nearly tearing my hair out, literally, trying to find this stuff…I found it…and I applied it by the handful…but the itching would not stop…so…I took a shower and washed everything off…I used the dandruff shampoo as body wash…and that helped immensely. I took an allergy pill before got into the shower, it just then dawning on me this may be an allergic reaction. Hey, I had to deal with the itch first…R called while I was in the shower…the voice of reason and the only person who can really calm me down or reach me no matter what headspace I am in … he picked on me for the shower…and the sea breeze … he had me take a second allergy pill, knowing this would knock me out for the majority of the night … I can take one of these guys and be a little tired for the next 6-12 hours…but if I take 2 in a 12 hour period…I am toast…and the label says they last 4-6 hours… uh huh…I finished the call, finished my shower…and pretty much crashed on the couch for …the rest of the day and the night…and was still groggy the next day when I woke up and took another one, just to be safe…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> The allergy pills had the added benefit of making my hands and mouth swell a little bit…and my internal throat swell. R wasn’t sure it was just the pills, but since these pills have done it to me before, I wasn’t all that worried. I could breathe fine…I just had trouble swallowing, which wasn’t that big a deal after what I had been through the day before…R still says the allergic reaction is to blame for a lot of the swelling.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Believe it or not, there were no marks on my throat at all from the scratching I did…I still cannot get over that one. Not one mark the next day, after 95% of the swelling was gone. The day after, nothing unusual at all.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> We went to <a href="http://www.samsclub.com/sams/homepage.jsp">Sam’s club</a> on Saturday? I think… I think so; we had N w us. There was a demonstration for this spa facial stuff, <a href="http://www.avani-deadsea.com/">Avani</a>…we bought it. We brought it home. I used it on my eyes and my neck, as well as the rest of my face. The stuff on my eyes vanished…on my neck, you could tell the places I didn’t use it …I wanted to compare, so I left some skin untreated. The next day, I did the places I had left undone the previous day. Although the dry skin is trying to come back on my eyes, very slowly—since I was not anywhere near vigorous when I did my eyes—my neck is still completely clear and itch-free--this stuff is wonderful…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> We went out for a wonderful meal at <a href="http://www.outback.com/">Outback Steakhouse</a> ... then we all needed to walk around some afterwards…so we went to <a href="http://www.valuevillagestl.com/">Value Village. </a> We found this amazing king-sized comforter, with two pillow shams…it looks tough enough to suffer through the dogs…and pretty enough for me…and not-girly enough for R. The colors are gorgeous…all autumnal and subdued, but still bright and engaging…when I saw it all I could think was both our colors, all mixed together. It’s terrific.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Sunday was busy…the whole week-end was busy. R golfed Sunday morning, starting at 7:50am…he was home about 3p or so…which put us behind our ‘normal’ schedule…so I didn’t get to go to all the stores I had wanted to go to in that area. We took the kids to eat and to play at McDonald’s playground…which we do every Sunday. Then my poor patient R agreed to run the errands that we could run…which entailed a trip to <a href="http://www.tjmaxx.com/">TJ Maxx</a>, two of them as luck would have it…<a href="http://www.walmart.com/">walmart</a> (fish food is cheaper there, sorry…I do try to stay away from them as much as I can) and a trip to <a href="http://www.michaels.com/">Michaels</a> since we had a coupon to use… <a href="https://www.dunkindonuts.com/">dunkin donuts</a> (drool, dribble dribble, drool)…there was more of the on-going saga w E, convincing her we do love her and that we are pushing her education for a reason… </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Honestly, I did not realize she was a far behind as she is academically…I knew her reading was slow, but I also know that she reads better than she lets on…her math work is third grade…but she balks at us pushing her past where she is now. It’s not that the work is too hard for her…it’s that she’s afraid to continue, because it will get harder and we’ll expect more from her and what if she can’t measure up…so…we found a software program at sams club that may help stimulate her desire to work …and then I found a website online—it was recommended in one of my homeschool groups…the site is called <a href="http://www.lessonpathways.com/Account/LogOn?ReturnUrl=%2fHome">Lesson Pathways</a>. From the looks of it, I like it, but we haven’t sat E down to use it yet…as yesterday was hectic in and of its own self. Having said all of this, and having R to back me up and to help out w her, I know we can get E moving this season…we run homeschool all year round…w week-ends off here and there for visiting cousins and whatnot—but that can and will stop if she doesn’t start performing…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I did have a great deal of fun though…E notwithstanding. I had two different women, in two different stores, hours apart, stop and talk to me about my tattoos, both of whom told me how great they are and how good they look. *Smile*</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Since we didn’t make it to all the places I had planned to go on Sunday, E and I headed out yesterday. We went to <a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/home/index.jsp">world market</a>. E loves anywhere we can go that they give you free coffee. They were out of tea samples when we were there, but the coffee was incredible, as always. E loves that store, as much as I do. I love the colors and all the neat things you can find there. I went there in search of bells…strands of bells…I found them. I have hung them up at home and the house is now good…not done yet, but at least I have my weird airy fairy air apparent all over the place now. You cannot step in the door now that you don’t know that this is my home too. I think I did a good job of keeping and maintaining all of R’s stuff…while incorporating my own. He’s not upset or bothered by anything I’ve done…so I call it good.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> We then went to a couple other places right there to grab some small things…then we went to the BEST place of all…and the place that made me giddy and happy all day long: <a href="http://kirkwoodknittery.com/">Kirkwood Knittery</a>…oh, how I LOVE that store…the only store in the state of MO that carriers <a href="http://www.habutextiles.com/webfile/yarnstorefront.html">Habu Yarns</a> (that we …or the Habu website…know of anyway)…I fondled much Habu yesterday…the paper yarn is incredibly tactile…I love it. I will have to find a reason to buy some at some point…I ended up buying some of the beautiful <a href="http://www.habutextiles.com/webfile/a-20.html">silk and stainless steel yarns</a>…and decided right then and there I would not order the wool and stainless steel from <a href="http://lionbrand.com/">lionbrand</a> ever again…I will always drive out to Kirkwood to my favorite yarn store…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> BUT…that is not why I am so happy. I went through the $1 booklet and 50 cent magazine bins in the back…I also checked out the $1 a ball bin and the 30% off rack…but I stuck w booklets and magazines…I walked out w ten booklets and magazines…2 skeins of the silk and stainless steel yarn…for $38 (I know, I said yesterday $36…I was wrong….)…a stack of magazines that included no less than 5 copies of <a href="http://www.rebecca-online.de/cont_en/">Rebecca</a>, old ones, yes, but still gorgeous (I found out one is actually recent…so…big thrill there)…and as I told the fabulous Brooke when I checked out, if there is but one pattern in each magazine and booklet that I like, then I have wasted neither time nor cash in buying it. I am a VERY happy woman today…very very very happy…I need to go back and grab some of the crochet magazines…they were all American ones, and I was really set on European magazines yesterday…not to mention, my knitting is far far better than my crochet most days…but then again, how else am I to learn?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> We also dropped by <a href="http://www.hobbylobby.com/">hobby lobby</a> while it was actually open, since we were in the area. Honestly, if I had walked out of there empty-handed I would have been fine…I didn’t though. They did have yarn on clearance. Weirdly enough though, there clearance bins were full of the exact same yarns, same brand, same color, same lot, everything—but you had to watch because if you picked up four skeins of the same yarn, each skein might be priced differently…I wanted to buy about six skeins of this one yarn, but could only find three the same price. The prices ranged from $1.67 to $3.99…it’s all discontinued colors…why are the same colors not all priced the same? I can almost understand why some different colors are higher priced, almost, coveted colors maybe costing more to earn the store more money; uglier colors not so expensive just to get rid of them…but we are talking the same dye lot and everything here…I spent under $20 and came home w two yarns that I plan to combine into yet another <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/ribby-halter-2">modified ribby tank</a>…then we walked into <a href="http://www.hancockfabrics.com/">Hancock’s fabrics</a> in the same complex…this store used to have such a great knitting/yarn section…I still have stash I bought at their store before the exodus to MD … but they did have thread and fabric galore this time…which is why we were there. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I’ve been commissioned to build a purse for my favorite <a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Glass Fairy</a>…as we await the arrival of her gorgeous fabrics, I thought I would scope out threads and notions a bit…since we haven’t really gotten down to brass tacks about the basics of design and construction…we didn’t really need anything at hancock’s yet…even though I really ought to grab 20+ yards of muslin to start working on my dress at some point…I am not going there until the house is all done and everything is unpacked and put away and we all feel comfortable in our own home again…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> We’re getting there. At least we are happy together during the process…that counts for such a great deal.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Now…I have all my measurements ready for my <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/seamless-yoke-sweater">EZ seamless yoke sweater</a>…I have EZ’s pattern in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Elizabeth-Zimmermanns-Knitting-Workshop-Zimmermann/dp/0942018001">The Knitting Workshop</a>…and a copy of Ann Budd’s <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Knitters-Handy-Book-Sweater-Patterns/dp/1931499438/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282064772&sr=1-1">The Knitter’s Handy Book of Sweater Patterns</a>….I now must sit down and write out MY pattern for this sweater…because all I really needed from Ann’s book was the 4 decrease rows on the yoke, so my sweater won’t pucker…and since this is my very first “real” sweater, I want it to turn out right…the numbers I have using <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Zimmermann#EPS_system">EZ’s percentage system (EPS)</a> do not match anything in Ann’s book …my gauge is 4.5 stitches per inch. Ann has a 4 stitches per inch and a 5 stitches per inch recipe, no halves or quarters or anything like that…I should be able to figure it out on my own though.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I have not yet finished my <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/mitered-hanging-towel-2">second hanging mitered towel</a> yet…since I only work on it while we are in the car…while R drives…usually only on Sundays…that is my excuse and I am sticking to it…the next one I make…because R does love them and we want more…I think I shall make a ballband towel…<a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/ballband-hanging-dishtowel">like this one</a>, or maybe <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/mitered-ballband-hanging-towel">this one</a>…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> What I am planning to do today though is start working on this <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/bikini-top">bikini top/bra pattern</a>…in preparation for doing the whole silver bikini, quite possibly a thong bikini….there’s a long camping, and campy, story behind this…but hey, anything for a laugh…I swear… Anyway, at <a href="http://www.michaels.com/">Michael’s</a> on Sunday, with our 25% off coupon, I bought some <a href="http://www.michaels.com/art/online/displayProductPage?productNum=nw0470">loops and threads charisma</a> simply because I liked the colors…it’s called ‘Sunny Day’ and is variegated blues and greens….</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I totally forgot about Michael’s there….not only did I grab the necessary silver yarn for the camping bikini (<a href="http://www.lionbrand.com/yarns/vannasglamour.html">Vanna’s glamour</a> in platinum—I should have enough for a 4 piece bikini—2 different tops and 2 different bottoms—if I did the math right….w plenty left-over In case I goofed or change my mind on what pattern to use….)…we grabbed a cool gift for my Dad (which we cannot in good conscious reveal here until after he receives it so it remains a surprise)…blood splats for Halloween decorating…my 9yo found a sign that fit so perfectly I had to have it…keeping in mind my Dad, and many others, call my kids my little monsters….the sign says “A happy witch lives here with her little monsters”…I want to keep it up all year long…mwahahaha…I love it.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> And since technically I am a member (or I was when we were in WV) of the Black Hat Society (I cannot find a good link now…but let me show you the blog that introduced me to the BHS in PA….<a href="http://www.confessionsofapagansoccermom.com/">HERE</a>)…I amused the snot out of E by telling her we should get the sign that said “Black Hat Society member”, that we were members already, and that we should get one for my mother, who is far more into the Black Hat arena than am I…she and I share similar views, but walk different paths, that’s all. E has had her “the witch is in/out” sign for awhile now…she is proud to have a sign so like her Granny’s own sign that says the same thing…when I hung E’s sign up this time, she took the ‘vampire’ sticker off the sign (her sign said the vampire is in/out, instead of the witch) …the vampire sticker is on her door…so she is still holding on to that one…but she is happy to be the witchy-poo here now…yes…strange child…from a strange family…and we all love her and we love each other…how much stranger can you get, right?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I have more to say, more things to recommend, but I am going to stop here so that anything important does not get lost in the mass of verbiage that is my life.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Enjoy your day.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Peace.</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-41515611340557867512010-08-11T11:25:00.001-05:002010-08-11T11:25:37.365-05:00Monday to Wednesday--Three Days Condensed<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> It’s Wednesday—this week has been …hectic and all over the place…I started to write yesterday—and then my son shooed me away from the computer and lost everything I wrote for me, because he is always so kind and closes every application I have open after he’s finished…I am in mermaid on land phase today (which means it feels as if I am walking on daggers—which means this cave dweller is refusing to leave the house until I have things cleaned up enough around the house to actually feel human…)…so I am making the time to get everything I have put off done today…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> Let us begin:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";">This week-end was awesome for me. Ok, only on some levels. R had to spend the week-end elsewhere, helping out family…so on that level, it was a lonely week-end—except that he still had his phone w him and we were able to bother the snot out of one another often enough that it wasn’t too bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> I closed the old work blog for good, after transferring all the pages and posts to both <a href="http://onthewrongsideofthemirror.wordpress.com/">Alyce</a> and to my <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/">current work blog</a>…I completely opened up <a href="http://onthewrongsideofthemirror.wordpress.com/">Alyce</a> again…I won’t rehash every detail here, but will let you read the reasons why <a href="http://onthewrongsideofthemirror.wordpress.com/about-alyce-this-blog/">here</a>. I haven’t made the time to go through each and every page there, since Alyce is actually the one blog where I have combined all the other writers blogs I have written that as I closed them I simply imported them into Alyce…so there are several about pages there on various <a href="http://onthewrongsideofthemirror.wordpress.com/about/">subjects</a>, not just on <a href="http://onthewrongsideofthemirror.wordpress.com/about-me-personally/">me</a>…I still have some house cleaning to do there, but it is open again. There are no new posts as yet…I have quite a few that need to be typed and edited…I cannot guarantee when I will start posting the new stuff…just be assured that it is coming.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> I did a great deal of writing this week-end…which had been hit or miss the previous week. So I was feeling really good…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> We were all more than ready for R to return from his …visit… to his father’s this week-end…he and his brother-in-law dug up and replaced about 80 feet of sewer pipe. The poor man came back with wasp stings and blisters, but overall, not in too bad a shape. I find it amazing how both kids react when R isn’t here. N actually gets worried about him and can’t wait for him to come back. I think N is the one who tracks exactly where R is when he’s on the road, because N will start insisting we go home –and within five minutes of us getting home R arrives (we went to dinner w friends Sunday…so that’s where that comes in to play). We all sleep better once he’s home…he may not think he is as loved as he is by these two small snotheads…but he is…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> Monday. Talk about a busy day. N is here with us all week… so between work and trying to get the house together, working on washing laundry after the week-end and so on, plus trying to get a box together for the <a href="http://www.scheduleapickup.com/">Vietnam Veterans charity</a> that came yesterday…I didn’t get much writing done. By noon, we decided it was time to run our errands…get groceries, dining room table chairs, a few other things. We actually had a very good afternoon…even if it was hot and not as leisurely as we wanted…and we only got half our projected errands out of the way…the rest of which we will take care of this week-end…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> We got home in enough time to unload the truck, put a few of the colder things away, and then R came home. We were supposed to be helping a friend out at the produce co-op, since that was her first time in charge of everything, so we were supposed to be ready to go the second R got home. (Way to go, Lori—you did a GREAT job…btw), but we were already running late as it was, since R had to change clothes…and there was traffic, and we of course got lost, although it turned out to be a good thing in the end, once we figured out where we were. We weren’t early, as we should have been, but we weren’t all that late either…so no harm, no foul there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> We have enough fresh produce to choke a horse at the moment. I am very glad we have two refrigerators up and running. We have both of them stuffed at the moment, between what the kids and I bought and what we got through the co-op. All in all, very cool. I am rather interested to find out what sort of things we’ll be getting through the winter with this co-op. I already have a desire to experiment more with squashes. I found some amazing recipes for pumpkin recently where we are not using mashed pumpkin or pureed pumpkin, but cubed pumpkin, which is something I have wanted to do for awhile now…even though the kids LOVE our pumpkin soup.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> Tonight we are grilling tomatillos and potatoes and fresh corn and onions…and I have no clue what we are planning for dinner…but we know there is a salsa in our future…if nothing else. I need to remember to pull some of the garlic cloves out of the freezer so we can grill those too…just for the smoky flavor.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> We got home so late and so exhausted last night, after everything, we darn near went straight to bed. The kids were exhausted. They got to play on the playground while we were helping with the co-op stuff—and it wasn’t too long before they’d both had enough of the heat…poor little things. We really wore them out.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> Tuesday. Well, I started to type Monday’s stuff up…until N overtook the computer…which is not as bad as it sounds…because that meant I could turn <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jim-Hensons-Dog-City-Movie/dp/B003DBLDIQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1281537358&sr=8-1">Dog City</a> off…we borrowed this movie from the library…we’ve watched it hundreds of times now. N absolutely loves this movie…I still don’t get it and I still don’t want to get it. I got to watch a bit of<a href="http://www.bbcamerica.com/shows/primeval/"> Primeval</a> and eat chips and salsa for a few minutes undisturbed, while trying to flip through the latest edition of <a href="http://www.hobbyfarms.com/">Hobby Farms</a> that had arrived sometime last week…I have not been overjoyed by many of the magazines that have arrived on our door lately…I am actually sorry I have subscribed to the ones I did…but now I know…when it comes times to re-up our subscriptions, out of the five we subscribe to right now, only one is going to get renewed (<a href="http://www.pw.org/">Poets & Writers</a>)…when I have time, I will be researching different literary journals to which to subscribe…I knew better than to subscribe to <a href="http://www.writersdigest.com/GeneralMenu/">Writer’s Digest</a>…but I did it anyway…it’s a good magazine (I guess) for its niche—it’s just not a good magazine/fit for me…I wish I could subscribe to the knitting magazines I like…but none of them are American…not even <a href="http://www.writersdigest.com/GeneralMenu/">Vogue Knitting International</a> is right for me…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> Speaking of knitting, I am currently in a flurry of trying to learn the best way to design…I have all these shawls and scarves and yada yada sitting here waiting to be test knit—or reknit so I have something to photograph—and the patterns written up clearly enough for anyone to follow (rather than my normal more like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Zimmermann">EZ</a> style….)…but ever since deciding to knit my own <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/seamless-yoke-sweater">seamless yoke sweater</a>, I have been bombarded by the whole…there are not many patterns available, either online or in books, that I actually like enough to knit…I have been knitting the same <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/ribby-halter">ribby tank top</a> all summer, trying to find that right balance of changes to the original pattern so that I really like it and will wear it all the time…I sort of have the same issue with <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/seamless-yoke-sweater">my seamless yoke sweater</a>…EZ on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Elizabeth-Zimmermanns-Knitting-Workshop-Zimmermann/dp/B000MGTT54">the video</a> says that puckering occurs around the yoke with the rapid decreases…so instead of two decrease rows, there can be three…and that steaming will work out the puckering anyway (at least this is how I remember it)…but then I borrowed Ann Budd’s <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Knitters-Handy-Book-Sweater-Patterns/dp/1931499438/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1281539214&sr=1-3">The Knitter’s Handy Book Of Sweater Patterns</a>n from the library…and in the pattern for that <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/seamless-yoke-sweater---adult">yoke sweater</a> there are four rows of decreases in the yoke…so I had to finally order that book—that book has been on my have to have one day list since at least 2006, when I bought her other companion book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Knitters-Handy-Book-Patterns-Interweave/dp/1931499047/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1281539214&sr=1-1">The Knitter’s Handy Book Of Patterns</a>…although that book is currently in storage at the moment, so I have no way to check any information in it to see where things lie. So, I am waiting for my own copy of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Knitters-Handy-Book-Sweater-Patterns/dp/1931499438/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1281539214&sr=1-3">Sweater Patterns</a> to arrive so I don’t mess up my sweater. I love EZ, but I never said her directions did not often bring me to tears. I want to start making sweaters, at least a couple, before I even think of branching out into sweater design. I have no worries about my shawls or scarves or anything of that nature…but a full sweater? Yeah…I want to make sure I know what I am doing and what I am saying before I start putting things out there for other people to buy…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> I do have a lovely shrug in the midst of planning at the moment…I simply have not decided which yarn to use…which is the only stall on a test knit…I have the whole pattern written out…once I decide on the yarn, I’ll work up a swatch (gasp—I know, right!) and write it up properly … what I have at the moment is the basic guide for the design I want to follow…not line by line this is how we do it…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Eurostile","sans-serif";"> And now, off to work…I have plenty of house work, plenty of writing work, and plenty of children to nag and nag some more…so …here we go…<o:p></o:p></span></div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-25231198593677333582010-08-05T10:54:00.000-05:002010-08-05T10:54:05.961-05:00Wednesday Check-In<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TFrbJ-mC2PI/AAAAAAAAEUo/JHted8ptkZM/s1600/botangardaug4+102.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TFrbJ-mC2PI/AAAAAAAAEUo/JHted8ptkZM/s320/botangardaug4+102.JPG" /></a></div> <span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">(c) 2010 T Webber</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This post was written yesterday, but I was in the process of editing/spell-checking when R got home from work...I didn't have time to quite finish...so it was done on time...but not posted on time...</span></span></span></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> The happy dance continues here at home today. It is a huge relief for me to be drawing again, even if the better stuff has not yet been posted. It’s Wednesday. I have four drawings done. I went today and found where I had hidden all my colored pencils…or rather, where I have failed to unpack them from, the poor dears. I found…everything and then some. My <a href="http://www.prismacolor.com/products/colored-pencils">prismacolor</a> sets were in the tool box in the closet, where I had put them long ago to keep them safe…and of course I have to make a mental note: I must find a suitable container in which to keep them. In their current condition, I can’t see all the colors at once, or clearly, so I tend not to use them. This is my <a href="http://www.dickblick.com/products/prismacolor-colored-pencils/">set of I think 132 pencils</a> that when the kids broke in to the IL house, they ruined the tin box…hence the nowhere to store them so I can see them deal here.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> What I used, and what I plan to continue to use for the moment, are my <a href="http://www.dickblick.com/products/blick-studio-artists-colored-pencils/">dick blick colored pencil set</a>…because I can see all the colors laid out at the same time and can see how they relate to one another in their open tin box…which is exactly what I need when I am working…I don’t want to have to dig through a pile of pencils to find the right color…I just want to be able to look, see, grab, and go. This tin allows me to do that…only 72 colors, but way better than a 12 pack of <a href="http://www.dickblick.com/products/crayola-colored-pencils-classpacks/">crayola colored pencils</a>, or whatever brand the kids have at the moment…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I am <a href="http://ravensinthewritingdesk.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/door/">drawing again</a> and it feels SOO good…now I need to color the remaining pieces I have drawn up and start putting the better stuff up…maybe I can even start my ‘perspective’ <a href="http://painting.about.com/od/paintingforbeginnersfaq/f/ArtTradingCard.htm">ATC</a> series again…not that I can actually find a link to show you which ones I am talking about at the moment, but I did try…I keep the two best ATCs in my dayplanner, so I will be able to look at them and KNOW that I can do things and that I can draw well. It doesn’t hurt that R is always there to support me and nudge me along when I allow the fears and insecurities to crop up. I will have to scan them and post them here when I get the chance.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Whilst scrounging around to find my colored pencils, I found…my <a href="http://www.soulcollage.com/">SoulCollage ®</a> cards…for some reason, the old external hard drive did not keep copies of every picture of them—which makes me nervous about the pictures of the kids it might have inadvertently ‘lost’ as well…but nothing I can do there…when I first started working on my SoulCollage ® cards, I always meant to take them to <a href="http://fedex.com/us/office/">kinkos</a> or somewhere and have them turned into my own smaller, personal deck, so that I could use them every day…the size of the cards is prohibitive for me to use them frequently (5in x 7in)…I need something closer to a regular sized deck of cards, or a touch larger, so that I can shuffle and sort and do what I do. I also need something less tactilely demanding—every image has edges that my fingers catch and feel and notice, which takes too much away from the process for me. I need everything completely one dimensional so I can focus on the spiritual side of things when I work with these cards. No edges of pictures touchable, no difference in the weight of the papers on each card, all of that needs to go for me to genuinely use them effectively for me.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I shuffled through my cards several times. I have no real desire to create any new ones. I haven’t had that desire in a long time. <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/05/in-full-bloom.html">Full Moon Dreamboards</a> and other <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/simple-piece-of-posterboard.html">Dreamboards</a> are more than enough to keep me happy and to propel me forward, over the stuck spots. As I rifled through these images, however, it struck me again just how useful these cards could be to me on a more daily basis…so, on the list of things to do is to scan and upload each card…and get them printed out as my own deck of cards so that I can use them. I am still very taken with the beauty and the imagery of these cards, even the ones that seem so plain and withdrawn.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I updated my <a href="http://ravensinthewritingdesk.wordpress.com/">artistic exploration blog</a> today, with <a href="http://ravensinthewritingdesk.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/at-the-bottom-of-the-stairs/">a story piece</a>, as well as <a href="http://ravensinthewritingdesk.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/door/">a drawing</a>, so I am feeling good. After some rocky issues with family this past week-end, I am feeling a little overstressed about posting some of the articles and posts that I have in various stages of completion, lest anyone think I aimed anything straight at them. R told me not to worry about that, or it, or them…and to just do what I do. So, even though I will probably work on some revisions, I am going to start finishing off these drafts I have, fleshing out these outlines I have, and posting with my normal je ne sais quoi…and ignoring the existence of most people as I work inside my little vacuum…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I had a healing touch client last night, in person, for which I am so thrilled. I honestly forgot how much I enjoy the one on one, hands on interaction. Soon I will be offering more of this sort of work. Keep an eye on my <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/">work blog</a> for details; they will be coming soon.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I am also looking more towards personal mentoring sessions of late too…I hate to say life coaching for some reason…it makes me feel too mainstream…but with the work I normally do personal mentoring is such a better definition…so keep an eye out for that as well. I am still working within the framework of the <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/coming-soon-creative-and-spiritual-coaching/">spiritual training program</a>…I find it very interesting how so many pieces of my work keep flowing together. The<a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/sound-counsel/"> spiritual</a> and the mentoring and the coaching…I pulled all my old files off my netbook today and set them up on my laptop…only to find some amazingly brilliant nuggets of information and delight awaiting me…I had no clue that over a year ago, I was in the process of developing these same programs to offer to the public…but I was. I have the notes to prove it…I am …both stunned and ashamed…I love that it is all there, waiting for me, but ashamed because it took me this long to get there…but I won’t let that hold me back. I have plenty of work to do yet. I have only just begun.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Last but not least, my favorite <a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Glass Faery</a> has been at it again, with the Musing and the prompting and the little nudge nudge wink wink thing she does…so expect some interesting fibery goodness to be flowing over at the <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/">work blog</a> here soon as well…and you thought <a href="http://www.lionbrand.com/yarns/lbCollectionStainlessSteelWool.html">stainless steel yarn</a> was going to be enough to tide us over for awhile, didn’t you? *giggle* Want a tiny hint? I finally get to work with metals…not just of the yarn variety…there may even be a blow torch involved…which I have been waiting for for a very very long time…I am so excited!</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Have a beautiful day…peace.</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-17341899564338335522010-08-03T13:24:00.000-05:002010-08-03T13:24:27.699-05:00Tuesday's Uncalled-For Check-In<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TFhcswbxaeI/AAAAAAAAEUg/K0ZL-b47UYw/s1600/DSCF1558.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TFhcswbxaeI/AAAAAAAAEUg/K0ZL-b47UYw/s320/DSCF1558.JPG" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> picture not mine; find it at:</span> http://morguefile.com/</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Today is a most excellent day.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I figured out how to work R’s vacuum yesterday, with the help of my darling 9yo daughter…for me, there are too many things to remember to make click to make every piece work on this vac…ok, so vacuuming the floors may not sound like much to you, but a week-end with a popcorn-eating machine makes vacuuming the day he leaves a very happy thing here…of course, I am still a bit disillusioned that the ex got to see me naked, as he was running late to pick up N and I figured 5 minutes in the shower wouldn’t hurt (it was nearly 1p)…when N came to say good-bye to me as I was getting out of the shower, I didn’t know T was there. So as I am grabbing my robe to find out what N is up to or if T had just arrived, T is walking down the hall to find N…and luckily it was just a flash but still…I feel icky…strange how I can go to clothing optional events and not feel a bit of remorse or guilt for strutting down the street buck naked, but let the ex see me nakey for a split second and I am traumatized for days…and telling me he’s seen it all before is inadequate. I have twice as many tattoos now…and several more scars due to illness and injury…this is not the same body from seven years ago and I’d prefer he not see it at all…unless he goes to the same clothing optional events I do and I am with people I know and trust…that is a whole different ballgame. *shiver*</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I found my nail polish box. It is absolutely amazing what a mermaid ocean blue nail polish can do for me…much less the ability to have a different color paint on every finger and toe and still have more colors left-over. I am also insanely proud of the fact that my fingernails are growing and that they look healthy for the first time in a very long time. They are also longer than normal, and staying that way, so I am pretty excited there. I know; it’s the little things that mean so much. Especially where I am concerned…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> My favorite <a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Glass Faery</a> has asked me to create some chains, w yarn or w metal, or w <a href="http://kpixie.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=35_54_409">metal yarn</a>, to go along with her incredible glass pendants…so yippee, there’s one arm of the business opening up.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Another open arm is I am back in business with my healing touch. I worked on someone last night, and will be working on them again tonight. Hopefully, referrals will start to come in. All I need is that one foot in the door and boom, there it is. I love it. As much as I normally dislike people, I enjoy working on people that I know and appreciate…and better yet, helping other people helps me and makes me feel better and more…functional and happy. If things go well enough, I’ll be able to replace the larger ‘lost’ massage table, although my smaller table is still awesome and still more than serviceable. Having the chair doesn’t hurt either.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> If you are interested in healing touch sessions, normally coupled with some incredible energy work, if I do say so myself, just email me (if you’re in the St Louis area, or are going to be) and we’ll set something up for you.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Plus, I am drawing again. Woo hoo. I so so missed it. I cannot find my good colored pencils yet <a href="http://www.prismacolor.com/products/colored-pencils">(prismacolor</a>), so I am hemming and hawing a bit over adding color, but I have to get over that today. I rewrote <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/08/monday-check-in-august-2.html">the circus piece</a> and need to get everything together to post it.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Which reminds me, since I have archived <a href="http://onthewrongsideofthemirror.wordpress.com/">Alice</a>, my former writing group blog, I am about to start posting my writing, not affiliated with <a href="http://ravensinthewritingdesk.wordpress.com/">the Raven project</a> here, which you may have noticed the other evening when I posted a blurb with links to all sorts of characters…and a quick invoice to remind me where I meant to be heading with that…but I have daily prompts and morning writings from weeks past now that need to be posted …and after a bit of thought, I decided to post it all here…if I need to revamp Alice, I can do that later on, when I have more of a grasp as to how I want to do that.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> So, the week may have started out slow…but with some weeding and trimming and pushing forward, things really are looking up. I feel good…and I like it.</div> <span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: xx-small;"><br />
</span>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-68174773593413005212010-08-02T12:16:00.002-05:002010-08-02T12:16:27.728-05:00Monday Check-In (August 2)<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing">This week-end was fantastic. We finally discovered the dining room table again…it’s been our catch-all for quite awhile. E and I have both used it as a desk…and once we removed that, the rest of the clutter on it wasn’t too difficult to put away. I tidied up the coffee table in the living room as well, another catch-all, and again with many of E’s books and projects on top of it. Not that I don’t have a sweater waiting to be sewn together still sitting there, but it’s a start…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I did pick up my knitting needles and finally start a project…well, actually it started out that I finally decided to work on the <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/belinda">Belinda</a> shawl I had cast on and not messed with for so long (especially since this was part of the clutter on the dining room table…I figured I might as well DO something with it)…however, after getting lost in the pattern on row 1 while trying to sit with the kids and not pay attention to anything other than my knitting…and I mean I got lost on a VERY simple pattern repeat about five times before I decided, ok, let’s frog this…it’s mohair…frogging, not such a great idea…I decided I need to buy some feather weight or lace weight yarn, also silk, probably with wool, to use as a carrier yarn in order to get me used to knitting with mohair…since my colors are darker, I figure a dark grey or black yarn will not detract so much from the pattern…and I need something to encourage me to get through this pattern without ripping all my hair out…and then, since I bought enough mohair for two shawls, I can make the shawl to pattern afterwards, without a carrier, if I can get over myself…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> What I started, and finished, was the <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/mitered-hanging-towel">Mitered Hanging Towel</a>. The main body is worked in blue and white ombre…and the doubled part is whatever you call the variegated stuff I had out. Pictures will be forth-coming. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> We have a terrible issue in our house…we are all very good about grabbing the towel off the handle of the oven…but we are not always good about putting it back. When I am cooking, I am notorious for grabbing the towel and setting it on the counter, because I know I’m going to be using it a lot. This hanging towel seemed like such a good idea—and it really is. Plus, I got to use one of my Grandfather’s antique buttons. It wasn’t antique when he collected it; it’s just an antique now. Funny thing is, my Grandfather’s button collection is probably my most treasured inheritance…that link that I can use to fuse my ancestry with/to my children—and one day, to their children. I make things as often as I can for the kids and use Pappap’s buttons. N has a <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/childs-snowman-hat">snowman hat</a> somewhere where all the buttons were from Pap’s collection…I can’t remember if I used the old buttons with the rocket ships on them or not for that project…I am planning to make about two more of the mitered towels for the kitchen, to start out…I may even stash dive for other colors…but…no promises there.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I actually drew a picture this week-end. I am just so proud of myself. The idea came from similar prompts from two places…<a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/tag/circus-cast/">Magpie Girl</a> and <a href="http://www.squidoo.com/joincircus">SoulFoodCafe</a>. I have a partial text written to go with it, but if was half poetry and half dribble, so I am planning to rewrite it…ahhh…thank goodness for rough drafts and for editing. The drawing is currently only in pencil, but I am planning to add color. Then I will have to print out my <a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/tag/circus-cast/">backstage pass</a> and get a picture with it…so I can send it to <a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/">Magpie Girl</a>…I’ve put this particular project off for awhile, even though I kept coming back to it. I should have that written out today, although I can’t be sure on the colorwork for the picture.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> The good news is I finally set up my printer/copier…part of the dining room table reclamation project…so at least I know I will be able to scan the pic and post it. Yippee!</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Good time for a segue here…I had a dream…which is how so many of my tattoos get started…maybe drawing this picture started it, except I know I have long wanted to get a wind dragon tattoo that starts at one ankle and weaves and winds its way all over my body until it reaches the nape of my neck, without obliterating the spider or anyone else on the way…I have this one tattoo, which is the other place this dream started…the one we have been working with <a href="http://www.wreckingbalm.com/">wrecking balm</a> to remove (did I see that right? Wrecking balm is now available at WALMART? Keee-riiisssttt!)…the problem is…wrecking balm is a slow process…and I have stopped doing it twice now…once after the break-in in November, and here recently because I grew tired of fighting to keep the sandpaper glued to the little round disk…I used a different form of manual exfoliator for awhile to keep the process going, and then grew overwhelmed by the move and what not, so I stopped for awhile again…I’ve been kicking around the idea of laser removal for months anyway…but…I had this dream where I got a tattoo over the one I am trying to get rid of (which itself is a cover-up job anyway)…I am not so sure I could have the dream tattoo done, since I am not so sure I could take the needle to the stomach or the inner thigh the way the dream flows…but the image was lovely. Now see, that cover-up won’t happen…mostly because it requires the drive to my coveted tattoo artist <a href="http://www.myspace.com/theinkwell26062">Bryn in Weirton</a> (Ben is awesome too)…which is prohibitive, but well worth the drive and the effort…under other circumstances, I’d do it. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Not to mention the deal with this particular tattoo is once it’s removed I can get R’s first name tattooed in its place, or at least in that general area. If the tattoo I am trying to get rid of weren’t so big and black, I’d incorporate it into a different design…since I have an idea as to what I want to do w his first name. His middle name is merely ornate letters…very pretty, yes…but I have some ideas for this next one…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> The irony there is that this whole thing started to cover up the ex’s initial…and he had some ideas at one time about putting a declaration that included his entire name across the entire region and down my thigh, so that everyone knew to whom I belonged…the irony of which is he was still banging a number of other people at the time and was actively working to get me out of the house—when all he ever really had to do was open his mouth and speak up…what he told me was one thing…what he told everyone else was a whole other universe that he had created for himself…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> R came back from camping yesterday. Gosh, it was so good to see him, and to see him smile. Some days I can’t figure out what is funnier: N asking where R is all day and asking when he’s coming home or N attacking R to wrestle and play and then screaming like a banshee for me to come save him once R starts playing w him…when N knows the second I step in to ‘save’ him, N will turn around and jump R again because he just loves it. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">E is very upset. We set the tent up in the backyard, to hose it off and to let it dry out before we packed it away before the next trip. She wanted to sleep in it. She was ok letting it dry out overnight, but since there is a sleeping bag in it this morning, she was certain that meant we were going to camp out in the backyard tonight. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> It is now officially official, come hell or high water, I am required to go on this annual float trip next year. By next year, the house will be all unpacked and completely settled; all the myriad stresses we’ve been under lately will have fallen by the wayside, and things should be good. So unless there is some huge hindrance that forbids float trips and camping out, I’m going.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> So, plans for this week. Hmm. I did not get anything hung up on the walls at all this week-end, minus a painting that our neighbor across the street gave us. Which, strangely enough, now that I have it hung, I am already planning to move it…if we pull the drum kit out a bit, we can manage to put bookcases along the one wall…especially the ones we plan on building (which are more like 6 inches deep, rather than 12) – saying that makes me realize we don’t have to move the picture if we don’t want to – we can build the bookcase to size to fit that space. But, I want to move the bookcases so we have space to put the piano…the one we haven’t gotten yet. My only gripe there is the fact that years ago, a piano stood in the same place we are planning to put this one…but at least we’ll be taking care of our piano and actually playing it. R and E both are going to learn to play…with my dyslexia, reading music is a bit of a stretch for me…although if I fought it enough, I could manage, I am sure. I learned to read some Hebrew when I was taking the class, so, I know, with enough determination, learning to read music can be done.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> There is still the closet issue, our master bedroom closet…that bothers me more every day. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> I need to make room in the basement to move the trunk upstairs down there…I need to finish putting away the office supplies that came out of the file cabinets…because that stuff is currently piled up in the place where I am planning to put the other kitchen table…I am planning to create a nook there, where the table can sit and be used for my artwork, E’s schoolwork, my schoolwork, whatever we need it for…and we are planning to build bookshelves, so I thought if we surrounded the table, enclosed it with the bookcases, while making sure we can still move things around when we need or want to, that would work great.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Again, still need to list all that stuff on craigslist. I didn’t want people I don’t know here over the week-end, especially since I can’t get to some of the stuff we are selling…much less do I feel the need to allow complete strangers who don’t care what they break come tromping in to the basement to remove the stuff…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Back on the list: repaint that blue dresser…which is becoming a priority since I have things I need to put away …and that dresser is really it, at least until we start building other things…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I need to sit down w R later, when he has the time. I have been thinking that maybe an online school, or maybe a boxed curriculum, may be better for E. I think if she is accountable to someone other than me, when she sees she has real deadlines and they cannot be bargained with the way she tries to bargain w me, maybe then she will start accepting some responsibility and working harder and working more.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Yesterday was actually the first day we had had big issues with food…or with schoolwork. R and I believe it is her usual ‘my little brother is here and I will show my butt to get more attention’ diversion…we’re used to that, but when it comes to her eating, we can’t allow it to go too far. She is back to her usual weight, but she was always too thin anyway…if nothing else, we are getting her to eat better…today, she is just all about stalling…which could be worse…but at least she is eating…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Speaking of which, <a href="http://wendyknits.net/">Wendy</a> may have been the first person to mention the <a href="http://www.eatcleandiet.com/">eat-clean diet</a> in my realm, but I didn’t look into it until at least two other people, in unrelated groups, mentioned it working for them. I borrowed a couple books from the library to check things out. Actually, we do work rather hard at not eating processed foods in our house…I was hoping we could find some interesting things for E…and I found a great deal more than that. I didn’t realize that by combining proteins and carbs, it could actually improve your physical body. I did find some stellar recipes too…a pea soup w basil, and a peanut butter spaghetti…I think I may have to buy at least one of the books now. I know I should eat the six small meals a day; I’ve known that for, what, twenty-five or more years now. I do like that there is a schedule that says eat now…and I am going to post it for E—because if I can say this expert says this, she’ll listen. If I say, your mama says this, she’ll look at me like I’m nuts and start making excuses.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Ok, I have stuff to get busy doing. T should be here soon to pick up N, the little stink monkey. The only other thing on my list of things to do is to vacuum the house…so…I’ll keep ya’ll posted.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Have fun this week.</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-91549599955914128812010-07-30T23:28:00.001-05:002010-07-30T23:29:14.961-05:00By Definition<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virago">Virago</a>:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazons">Amazon</a>:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xena:_Warrior_Princess">Xena</a>:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffy_Summers">Buffy</a>:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaylee_Frye#Kaylee_Frye">Kaylee</a>: <br />
<br />
<br />
What you think you see, what you believe to be the true authentic person, is merely an outer persona, a character played out, like <a href="http://www.rachaelray.com/">Rachel Ray</a> or <a href="http://www.marthastewart.com/">Martha Stewart</a>...it is a Brand, and not the actual person at all. Just because you only see one side does not mean this is the only side to that person at all. Just because you think you know everything about that person based upon that outward Brand persona doesn't mean you know anything at all about that person in real true life, as a person and not as a Brand.<br />
Take care...lest you confuse Marketing with Reality...Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-53651216579668953532010-07-30T23:18:00.000-05:002010-07-30T23:18:47.556-05:00Friday, A Week In Review (July 30)<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing"> <span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">So, where stand we on the overall all what did I accomplish this week scale?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> Well, I submitted work to three different sites…for which I am most pleased. I also updated my own blogs, all three of them, which is pretty exciting for me, after such a long bout with procrastination in regards to all of them lately. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I am not quite full force on the rest of my writing, for example, <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/transitioning.html">morning pages and daily writing practice</a>, but at least I am not giving up; I keep trying.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I did not get everything that is not N’s out of his room yet…but I did make some big leaps in organizing his room and moving things around enough to make it look more like his room instead of the catch all the other stuff we don’t know what to do with room. He may have to use his sister’s sheets for a bit, until we get the linens unpacked, but he does have clean sheets, that are not flannel. At least we did get his dressers switched out and his clothes settled in. He had plenty of floor space, even if his books aren’t put away (since the bookcase for his room is still downstairs…)…so, overall, we are all happy about things in his room. He can find everything himself. That’s the big thing right there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> We completely took care of the <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/our-poor-little-fish.html">fish tank</a>. The rabbits, well, they get their cages swept and cleaned out every day, or every other day at a minimum…grooming…the fierce stuff needed to remove the mats…that’s still coming. If R had been here this week-end, we would have done it then. It’s still on the list.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I have a new listing, a new skill. I still need to write up the two articles about this and post them on the <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/">appropriate blog</a>. I have the toll free number set up already to accept credit cards and so forth for phone clients; I am looking for in-person or cyberspace clients as well. I can see a great deal of possibility in this next step in my process. I am rather excited about it. Which you can see by the fact I have known about it all week (thanks to a conversation with my darling friend Beth) and I have yet to do more than take the basest of notes about the two articles I am planning to write in order to market my new skills…but that’s just me.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I finished the large guide me for <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/simple-piece-of-posterboard.html">as long as it takes dreamboard</a>, as well as the smaller just a nudge for <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/actual-full-moon-dreamboard.html">this month dreamboard</a>. I didn’t want to miss another month of <a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/full-moon-dreamboards">dreamboards</a>, even though I was still doing that much work with my <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/05/in-full-bloom.html">May dreamboard</a> as yet…and I do know there is plenty there I can still work in and with…all is reflected and augmented in the new <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/simple-piece-of-posterboard.html">many moons dreamboard</a> though, so that works…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> We discovered my favorite dish at my <a href="http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/28/1462607/restaurant/St-Louis/Pearl-Cafe-Florissant">favorite Thai restaurant</a>: pineapple curry, with shrimp. I didn’t have an actual favorite dish before this. Usually I like the yellow curry, with shrimp. Always with shrimp. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Florissant-MO/Pearl-Cafe/330457015623">Pearl</a>, I can always trust their shrimp.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I did knit up at least one more square for <a href="http://www.craftyarncouncil.com/teach.html">the knitting instructor course</a>, and I hemmed and hawed and moped about, trying to decide what to work on next…and as yet, have not picked up any needles whatsoever. I am not really certain what I am waiting for at the moment. I did design a shrug that I need to knit up. I need to make a swatch or two to test my theory about things, but otherwise it is ready to be tested. I played around with the knitting software I have to see if I could figure out how to chart out the <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/gossamer-wedding-faroese-style-shawl">Faroese style shawl</a> I designed so I can get a good sample of that knit up in order to put together the pattern for sale. I decided my software stinks and I need to do some more research and find something better, soon. Timing…timing…back again.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I redid our <a href="http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=42589572">lulu store</a>…because we are doing this. We still plan on publishing R’s poetry. There’s still nothing in our lulu store, so don’t get too happy yet. His poetry. My poetry. My knitting patterns. Those are all forth-coming, but until then…there’s nothing there to see yet. I did learn a few very interesting things while I was there, bumming around. We can make calendars and all sorts of other things. So many doors just flew wide open there. The more I sit and think about the possibilities, the more excited I get.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> Hmm. I didn’t do that much unpacking. The bathroom/linen closet from the old house is done. I had to tear through things last night in order to find N some sheets for his bed that were not flannel. That means I am closer to setting up the rack to store the linens on…which will also mean I can unpack more of the kitchen.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I am behind behind behind in emailing friends and family. Our spring family newsletter never went out. We are heading into the end of summer…and things are a bit iffy on if the newsletter will go out before the end of summer, or if we are looking at a fall newsletter instead. We still need to go out and have the pictures of the kids taken anyway. It was something we meant to do months ago, but we’ve been so busy…and on those occasions when we could have done it, like while we were out <a href="http://www.geocaching.com/">geocaching</a>, we both completely forgot. I moved it up on the list again.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I researched new <a href="http://bodycandy.com/">nose rings</a>….almost thought I should get my belly button pierced again, especially since R loves pierced belly buttons…but, no, twice is enough, thanks…even though it’s been a couple years since the second one closed, it’s still not completely healed shut. The scar tissue from both former piercings will make a new piercing difficult…and I don’t want to go there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I talked to M about my self-diagnosis in relation to the menstrual/post-miscarriage issues. Along with a quick little article in <a href="http://www.vegetariantimes.com/">Vegetarian Times</a> September issue (page 19)…we both agree chaste tree berry may be helpful…but I am not stopping the other herbal therapies I am running at the moment. If there is anything out there, other than say morphine at this point, that can help with the cramps…and those of you who understand my pain tolerance levels know if I am asking for drugs it has to be BAD…then I am willing to give it a shot. M says to continue with the red clover for a bit longer though. If the tincture isn’t strong enough, we may switch to freshly brewed tea…we’ll see how things go with that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I think the best thing that happened this week actually started out as a terrible thing. Nosy Parkers meddling in things that they ought not meddle, or if they were going to meddle, should have considered the timing of things, started trying to cause issues within our relationship. Our relationship is far more solid than that. Although I would never come between R and his family, should anything ever happen, he will choose me…knowing I will never ask anything of him in regards to them…other than I not have to deal with them myself. The issue put forth caused R and I to have a great deal of conversation…which does nothing but further cement our commitment and our dedication to and for one another. The best things always arrive in the guise of the worst … even though it may take a bit for R and I to work through things entirely, we will be working on them together, as the team we are. I am not going anywhere when it comes to him. There are only three things in this world I am willing to live, to die and to kill for…and that is R, E and N, and in no particular order. My clan totem is the Grizzly…I did inherit the skills of my mother, the grizzly bear protecting her cubs. R has been my best friend for more than ten years…I do not take that relationship lightly, nor have I ever. For those who presume to know what goes on between us, you can play <a href="http://www.field-of-themes.com/shakespeare/essays/Eothelloiago.htm">Iago</a> all you want…R and I cannot be swayed.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> Now we come to the week-end…tomorrow is shopping day w Beth, for N and me…Brian is kindly going to watch E and Henry…Three kids is a bit much for him…and N already has serious issues w male authority, so he’s coming w us, mostly because alone he doesn’t cause as much stress as he does say when he and E are competing…for anything…N gets to stay w us til Monday afternoon…I am so happy about this.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> My darling boy, R, is out camping…and hopefully, despite all the rain, going floating tomorrow. I am not certain how much I will have accomplished before he returns. I have the kitchen to clean up, after all the dehydrating and preparing things we did here yesterday and today. I have plenty of laundry to fold and put away. I think I can manage to carve out space in the basement to start sanding that old dresser of N’s…but I am not quite ready to paint it with all this rain...<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I still need to get those items up on craigslist (water bed, water bed mattress, deep freeze chest, electric stove—so if you’re interested, let me know). I need to take some pictures of a couple things…which, again, means moving things around. Nothing that is not doable.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> I think I shall work on my goddess boxes, unpacking and spreading the love around the house…I still have crystals I can put up in the windows in the back of the house…I like the way the air is clearing around here. If other people would … stop thrusting their own issues upon other people…this would have been “Home” this week, since I started the week in full force, after coming out of that depression over the miscarriage and other things this week-end.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> There is time, and time again…because R and I are stuck w one another for the rest of our lives…neither of us can imagine anything better…it took us this long in our lives to find someone genuine and true…and there is nothing in the Universe, not in Heaven nor Hell, that can tear us apart—except perhaps our own insecurities—but since we are more than willing to come together to discuss them and work on them, I don’t see that happening…better yet, neither does he…and he is the source of my strength in all things.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> Ok—ok to bed. It’s been a long havoc-ridden day…I need sleep…blessed sleep…good-night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-67248793674872015402010-07-30T04:44:00.000-05:002010-07-30T04:44:53.666-05:00Our Poor Little FishOur poor fish.<br />
<br />
We have a forty gallon tall tank. It's full of brackish water fish, mollies and sword tails and guppies (oh my).<br />
I have complained, a great deal, lately, about the neon sword tails that were overtaking the tank. Well, today I had had enough. The water was horrid, cloudy, smelly, brackish, even though the fish liked it that way. I assure you, I did not. The hunter, whichever fish that was, seemed to have ceased his hunts. The swords were not thinning out at all.<br />
<br />
So I cleaned out the tank this afternoon. Completely. I did a 97% water change...I had to get the water down as low as I possibly could, in order to catch all the neon sword tails that I could. We are roughly 60-70 fish lighter in the tank now. If you know freshwater aquarium fish, you know just how overloaded that tank has been. We still have some mollies, mostly female. As far as I can tell, we still have one of our red velvet sword tails...which is fine...if we're lucky we have both red velvets and both gold dust mollies, but one of them is missing, as I only catch glimpses of three reddish fish, not counting the two babies, swimming around.<br />
<br />
We still have our guppies...although we are missing more than I care to admit. I do believe some of the little babies running around are guppies though. The body shape is different from the mollies, once they get large enough to really be able to see it.<br />
<br />
I know we still have several of the neon sword tail babies in the tank. I was not about to try fishing out every single little fry to figure out who is who and what is what. I caught several of the larger baby neon swords and they went with their parents...that was enough for me right now.<br />
<br />
E is upset. Her beloved Wendy (short for Wendell) , the crown tail betta, the Jaws of our tank, was nowhere to be found. Not a fin. Not a scale. Not even a crusty bit of cartilage. I am not entirely sure I want to get another betta...but E is sure looking forward to a betta w a double tail...her Granddad bought her Auntie one a long time ago, and E has not forgotten that. She thinks they are ever so cool.<br />
<br />
We are short one massively large botia, on purpose. I kept the smaller, seemingly more docile botia. Just in case we need some snail control in there.<br />
<br />
Until the light hit the plecto, George, once the tank was all clean and refilled, I had no idea that guy had stripes...although his size is still daunting to me, considering how tiny and puny he was when we got him. He's about 7-8 inches long now. He was maybe an inch, inch and a half when we got him.<br />
<br />
E should start griping any time now. I took the taller castle out of the tank...and put the shorter decor back in for awhile. The Buddha head, the Sphynx-like thing, and the Greco ruins...yeah, I know. We are good for combining history and civilizations in our tank...<br />
<br />
The castle of course was crawling w snails...I want to bleach and vinegar the heck out of that thing before we put it back into the tank...but there were so many other things going on in the kitchen today I had no desire to fight w bleach and snail eggs. The snail eggs won't die while they are out of water. The second water hits them again, we'll have a new crop of snails. I'll get to it.<br />
<br />
Snails inside the tank...those have been kept to a minimum...a few snails are ok. They help take care of things in the tank. If we get overrun again, no more snail eaters (like the botia)...I will find a place online that sells the stuff to kill the snails...and that will be that...til I get new plants that have more snails on them...of course...<br />
<br />
I was thinking, right after I was done cleaning the tank, that we have mostly female mollies...and we really should get a couple new, and colorful, males...but that means more babies. We have babies right now--with more on the way. I was also thinking of getting more guppies...E loves her guppies. It makes her feel that much closer to her Auntie. Plus guppies come in leopard prints...how cool is that? Again, we have babies now...so we'll see how I feel in a couple weeks. No promises.<br />
<br />
The only fish I know I would like to get a few more of are the albino corey cats. I love those guys. We lost one recently. These guys work better paired off in groups. At least that is my experience with them. One little guy looks smaller than the rest, more lethargic. As if he's missing the one who passed away. Maybe three more coreys would be a good thing here. Again, we'll see how I feel in a couple weeks.<br />
<br />
The tank looks clean, healthy and the plants and fish inside it look happy...if not a bit confused at times. Without that castle in there, they do have a great deal more room in which to swim. <br />
<br />
Thanks for listening. More soon.Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-21034894561816350062010-07-30T04:19:00.000-05:002010-07-30T04:19:35.224-05:00Actual Full Moon DreamboardRemember when I told you I had plenty of pieces left over from my<a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/simple-piece-of-posterboard.html"> larger, not just for the Full Moon dreamboard</a> and that I could use them to make a smaller <a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/full-moon-dreamboards-the-full-buck-moon">dreamboard</a> for the Full Moon?<br />
<br />
This afternoon I had the time on my hands, as E got to go out on the town w some friends...I had plenty of work to do...even though I didn't get it all done.<br />
<br />
I did make the time to do this...<br />
here is is before gluing:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TFKYrgztQDI/AAAAAAAAEUI/ui_Ck47uWq8/s1600/003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TFKYrgztQDI/AAAAAAAAEUI/ui_Ck47uWq8/s320/003.JPG" /></a></div><br />
<br />
here is is right after gluing:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TFKY0FLdc_I/AAAAAAAAEUQ/yXtJPHvsYpc/s1600/004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TFKY0FLdc_I/AAAAAAAAEUQ/yXtJPHvsYpc/s320/004.JPG" /></a></div><br />
<br />
This one is simply to get me through the next Moon cycle...sounds strange, saying it that way...but that is how it feels.<br />
The larger dreamboard and I have a few months, if not longer, to be working together towards this goal of ours. This smaller dreamboard helps me focus this month. The smaller focus leading into and building up the larger focus.<br />
It's a beautiful thing.Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-84404822513179317622010-07-29T22:56:00.000-05:002010-07-29T22:56:04.129-05:00Sugar Filled, But Not Sugar Coated<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I may not read every blog I follow every single, but I do catch things here and there. I am frequently led to posts that trigger something in or for me…or resonate with me on some level. Today is one of those days. I love the title of this blog anyway, <a href="http://www.sugarfilledemotions.com/">Sugar Filled Emotions</a>. I just love that. The post I read there today was about having a <a href="http://www.sugarfilledemotions.com/2010/07/i-will-live-my-life-fully/">goal for your life</a>…It’s not just having a goal, like I will retire at age 40 or I will travel the world or anything like that. It’s your goal for your every day life, your personage, your self. An example may be, I will <a href="http://37days.typepad.com/37days/">live life</a> to the fullest every moment of the day. I love this idea.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">It’s actually something that has been sort of sifting through the edges of my brain for months now…as I have pared down more and more, as I have let go of more and more, as I have started to see the things that are important to me and to really experience life in such an amazing and magical way.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">It’s taken me quite some time to get to this point in my life. During the past two weeks, it has dawned on me that all the goals I had set for my life, as opposed to those I have set for myself, have all been altered, changed, let go of…all those things I held dear…the Rescue Ranch. My rabbits are my consolation prize in a way. R and I had that discussion a long time ago. I have always wanted to go somewhere, MT or WY, as far away from human contact as possible, and have just acres and acres of land where I could rescue and rehabilitate any kind of animal that needed it, whenever it needed it…along with being as far off the grid as possible, raising our own food for human and animal, so on and so forth. I let go of that because of all that R has been through in his life. He wants to stay close to his family, and given his past, I know how much that means to him…so I gave up that dream because I love him enough to do so…because he and I agree that we can manage a smaller sized version of this dream locally, in this area…without him having to leave his family…without him having to leave his friends…the whole shebang.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I have given up …many other things that I am not prepared at the moment to go into in a public forum…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">When we moved in w R, I let go of so much…from furniture to clothing to different material things I had held on to for years for various reasons (discussed previously in the past two months on this blog, if not longer) … and I was faced with all the issues that came up when we moved in…also discussed previously in the past couple months…it’s been difficult for me…and obviously <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/transitioning.html">it’s been difficult</a> for my daughter as well…I am still letting go of emotional baggage, from my past, from my past relationship w R, from our future relationship…strange how things are, how things work…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">So many things have come to the surface in my life lately…different pathways that I never anticipated exploring…I never stopped to think I should have a manifesto…because that is exactly what is called for here, exactly what Melissa talks about in <a href="http://www.sugarfilledemotions.com/2010/07/i-will-live-my-life-fully/">her post</a>…but…I find it thrilling and exhilarating and absolutely something that is needed. It will help ground me, at this time when I feel like a mermaid spat out of the sea into a desert…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">But what should it be? What could I be? What should I see so clearly that it should become my focus?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I am happy being me, right here, right now.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That’s what it is. No matter what anyone else says or thinks or does…no matter whose toes I step on or how many people I offend…I live my life with love…no one else really matters when you walk right down to it. No one else really knows what it is like to walk in my shoes (good luck too with those 6+ inch stilettos…)</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">There are so many people I can pay homage to, for helping me along my way…R, who has been here for 10+ years and who knows me inside and out; <a href="http://www.helium.com/users/311757/show_articles">Tracy</a>, my loving friend since, what, like, before high school? <a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Kerry</a>, who is my Muse and my inspiration and who likes to smack me w faery dust when I least expect it when we’re talking about different things…<a href="http://rowenleaf.blogspot.com/">Sarah</a> who has done nothing but inspire and encourage and believe in me, which for me is so priceless…and as much as he and I both hate to admit it, I can give <a href="http://www.pilatescenterstl.com/services_therapies.html">Tony</a> some credit now and then…because so long as I am not living with him, he’s not so bad, really. These are just a few of the people up close and personal in my life. Well, a couple of them, as close as cyberspace will allow, but still, near and dear to my heart none the less…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">This is what I have to share this afternoon. What sort of credo or manifesto or little saying are you going to use as your own personal mantra? What best describes you and makes you feel…right with your world?</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Blessings…</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-7003189110122962452010-07-29T10:28:00.001-05:002010-07-29T10:28:27.456-05:00Wednesday Check-In Crammed Into Thursday<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">So, yesterday day I fell of my new writing plan wagon…but it was for a good cause. I sat down, several times, to try to write, but kept getting distracted. The urge to start unpacking and organizing is beginning to actually hit lately. It’s still hit and miss, but at least it is pushing a bit. It’s about time.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I think I wreaked more havoc in my packing yesterday than I brought order from chaos. My file cabinets are out, the files neatly tucked inside them, mostly in an order where I can find everything. However, in order to get to said file cabinets to move them about and get them where they needed to be, I had to move a now unused deep freeze (small chest), a dresser, or two, a wooden bench (it goes to my dining room table), a miscellaneous amount of <a href="http://www.ikea.com/">ikea</a> bags, suitcases (that are empty), random boxes, as well as a large pile of blankets we haven’t quite managed to figure out what to do with as yet. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Amazing how much better I feel knowing I can reach some of my draft work and scribbles from previous years. The bulk of my work is stored in several plastic storage containers, which are…somewhere in the basement. At least this is a start.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I pulled all the yarn scattered throughout the house…did I not say I was not going to buy any more yarn, except for certain projects, for the whole year this year? Uhm, yeah, that did not work. When we went to <a href="http://www.hobbylobby.com/">Hobby Lobby</a> the other day for the yarn for E’s jacket (explanation at bottom of post), there was this lovely wool on sale, and some nice cotton on sale…who am I to pass up a sale? When I checked out at hobby lobby, the woman behind me had two carts FULL of the sale yarn, I mean two carts piled high and near to overflowing…I was envious, to say the least….I had limited myself to nothing more than I could carry. Luckily, that was still eleven skeins of yarn and three packages of safety eyes (I need blue eyes for <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/as-cheerleader-doll">A’s cheerleader doll</a> yet). Some of the yarn, like stuff on the dining room table, on under the coffee table, and tucked into the one end table, that stuff came from my stash…so it’s not as if everything upstairs was brand new…not counting the yarn I recently ordered form <a href="http://www.knitpicks.com/knitting.cfm">knitpicks</a> for <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/seamless-yoke-sweater">my EZ seamless yoke sweater</a>, nor the yarn I recently ordered from <a href="http://smileysyarns.com/">smiley’s</a> for several sweaters, including my not <a href="http://www.noroyarns.com/v2/en/html/home.html">Noro</a> <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/klaralund">klaralund</a>…of course…the real problem is not that I collected all the yarn and it’s all in one place; the problem is…it’s in a laundry basket that is sitting in my bedroom and I don’t know where else to put it all yet. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That is the problem that erupted yesterday…it’s not horrible or anything…it all revolves around the whole, in order to do X, we need to do Y. In order to accomplish Y, there’s R, S, T to be done first…but in order to do R, S, T…well…you get the picture. I finally reached that point where I am saying, fine, I need to do this to do that…if I start doing this, I will have to do that…and eventually this circular conundrum will work itself out, even if all I feel as if I am doing for a week, or more, is sorting through one pile to create a different pile…which is really what it feels like right now.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I did not remove the one dresser from N’s room…but I did move it enough that we could get the other dresser into the room…that is a plus. I have to change the clothes from one dresser to the other…and then move the smaller dresser to …somewhere…but…it is progress. At least if I can get all his clothes out and put away…and his knick knacks and whatnot out of the bags in his closet…then I will really feel as if I am accomplishing something. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">R will be gone on a float trip this week-end. I had a big melt-down this past week-end. It’s the anniversary of our miscarriage, one year ago. (I have the post written up…just have to type it yet…please understand why I keep putting that off…it was hard enough to sit and write it…but I needed to get it out.) Add into that, with the utter chaos that our home is in at the moment, on top of all sorts of other issues, and I decided that this is not the state I want to be in to go canoeing and camping with a bunch of people I don’t know all that well yet, with the thought that the ex-girlfriend may show up and show her rump all week-end…especially since she is still furious because I ‘destroyed’ her relationship with R (do we want to go into the whole how he claims the relationship was dying and near death before I left MO for MD…much less before I ever came back? Why was the relationship not important enough to her to save in 2006, which is when I left, and it still wasn’t important enough for her to save in 2008, when I came back…yes, he spent all that time trying to ‘fix’ her while waiting for her to leave on her own…it was easier than fighting her… it wasn’t important enough to her at all…not even after he broke up with her, but only after she hacked his email account and found out he was dating me—then the relationship became ‘important’ to her…so don’t get me going there…)…so I have plans and more plans for this week-end. I need to know where the drill, the level and the sander are…I am hanging things up, including my ‘enchanted’ mirror…it’s big, it’s heavy, it’s lovely…and I bought it w R one day, when N was a baby, if not before N was born…and I know right where it is going…I also want to learn how to make our own yeast using the dehydrator…hmm…yummy plans indeed…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Some days I think this house is really too small for everything we want to do in here…other days, the potential I see is really quite vast…it’s all in how we pull things together. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">While unpacking yesterday, I came across the little spirit doll heads that I had hand-sculpted before this last move…I have three that are actual faces, and one that I made a pretty shape and planned to add the details later, if need be. I am oft times of the more <a href="http://www.waldorfanswers.com/Waldorf.htm">Waldorf</a> persuasion that says to limit the facial details, usually to eyes only. When I found the heads though, I knew exactly what sort of doll heads I am going to be making in the future…I am going to stop fussing with myself over the face, over getting the features right, or making the nose big enough, or slanting the mouth just the right way…one little almost diamond shaped piece of air dried clay was all I needed to tell me, the more open to Spirit that I am, the better my dolls are going to be…plus, my friend <a href="http://kerryellen.wordpress.com/">Kerry</a> somehow triggered something in me during a conversation about me knitting her some jewelry chains, ropes to hang her pendants from, and so on, and I think I have some entirely new ideas as to how to make these dolls of mine, once I am more…unpacked and able to find the pieces to create said dolls…Kerry is always good for things like that…she’s more than an inspiration…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">All right. Let me run through my list from Monday to see what I have accomplished yet. Oh, scary. One dresser into N’s room…but as yet nothing out (except some yarn)…although that’s not right—I have moved blankets and some boxes out of his room this week already. So that counts. The <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/simple-piece-of-posterboard.html">dreamboard</a> is done and posted. I have not unpacked any more kitchen stuff, but I did finally unpack the rest of the bathroom closet from the old house…so now we have access to all the bathroom stuff, like the hair dryer we don’t use, the curling iron we don’t use, the steam facial bath that I live for in the winter to help my sinuses…that sort of thing. I set up a new listing (details coming) for <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/">my work</a>…that is a plus. Except for yesterday, I have held to my writing schedule…and today I think I may be able to reconcile, maybe not all, but most of the writing I missed yesterday…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I call that progress…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Wait—before I forget. E’s jacket. E has this somewhat fitted denim jacket that she loves to death. It has cool fabric buttons and it makes her feel all girly and special when she wears it. The body is still a good fit…but the sleeves are way too short now. We had seen this one jacket all winter in a store that had knitted …everything. It was a lined denim jacket, with a knitted collar, knitted sleeves, a knitted hem, knitted lining for the pockets…E and I both loved that thing…but they never had it in her size, or even a small enough larger size that I would be willing to buy it for her to grow into…BUT we now have this little jean jacket of E’s. We are going to cut off the too short sleeves…I am planning to knit new sleeves myself, probably in a ribbed stitch…and make them plenty long…because the way this jacket fits she can wear it for years…as she grows, the jacket will still look good when it becomes a cropped jacket…I am using ‘I Love This Yarn’ acrylic, which is a hobby lobby brand…it’s very soft, as acrylics go, with more body than some other yarns…and we like it. We’ve used it before here and there…and I will take this yarn over red heart super saver any day…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">More to come…</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-26137656873926637072010-07-27T14:28:00.000-05:002010-07-27T14:28:09.863-05:00A Simple Piece of Posterboard<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TE8yjT-d4cI/AAAAAAAAETw/gMjJxkDiY58/s1600/013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TE8yjT-d4cI/AAAAAAAAETw/gMjJxkDiY58/s320/013.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I did not realize last night was the <a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/my-full-moon-dreamboard-the-full-buck-moon">Full Buck Moon</a>. For some reason, I had it in my head that this past Saturday was the Full Moon and that I had therefore missed the opportunity to make a <a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/full-moon-dreamboards-the-full-buck-moon">Full Moon Dreamboard</a> along with Jamie and the other Dreamers. Lucky me, I didn’t miss it. I landed smack dab in the very heart of it, eyes wide shut and prepared to dive feet first off the cliff into the watery abyss that is my subconscious.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> For a couple weeks now, I have been planning this dreamboard. Not the images. I had no clue whatsoever what images I was going to use, even after I had them gathered and ready to go. I didn’t give thought to direction or color or …anything at all. I have three different sizes of poster board downstairs. Until the moment I grabbed a larger piece last night, I could not have even told you what size I was going to make this board. What I decided early on though was that 1-my brain is too cluttered and I needed/wanted my subconscious to speak up and be heard…2-I wanted the message to be very very clear, even if the details were not spelled out…3-I wanted to know what Path I should be taking, what I should be making important in my life and, sort of, how and why. Amazing, huh? Not too much to ask, {sarcasm sign held up here}, when you think I’ve been plotting this for weeks without giving it any major thought whatsoever other than ‘this is what I need and want to know…now fork it over’…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> The original intention was to make sure the kitchen table was cleared off …but…that hasn’t happened yet. I brought my art table (a folding table) upstairs and put E on it yesterday to do her schoolwork (rather than on the kitchen table since she is the main source of clutter) in the hopes that she could work better if she were not surrounded but such chaos. Alas, that’s not how it worked out. I had meant to have the art table to my self for my own purposes after she went to bed. Nope. The kid is chaotic…it follows her. The mess was so extensive …notebooks, folders, papers, crayons, markers, pencil shavings…that I decided I wasn’t touching any of it…so I retired to the living room to watch the rest of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Big-Bang-Theory-Complete-Second/dp/B001FB4VXU/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1280254740&sr=8-2">Season Two of ‘The Big Bang Theory’</a>, which I ordered months and months ago and never got around to watching after moving from across the river, and then moving again into R’s house.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> In the middle of the shows, I got up, grabbed three National Geographics from the 70s,(I have five or six laying around just for this purpose-although I have not used them since I bought them nearly 3 years ago) and went in search of poster board. Then I had to find the glue. Since 95% of our stuff is as yet unpacked, those things are not quite as simple as they would seem. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Next, I went through all three magazines and just pulled out what appealed to me. I have enough images left over for another dream board…and I actually think I may use the smaller images to make a monthly plan dream board a little later today, once I am done with my writing and editing and posting that I have mandated I must complete today. This, of course, does not include housework, though it really should. After pulling the images, I went through and trimmed all the images. I set my poster board up across two wooden tv trays and set to work.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I am actually very surprised by how many layers this board has. Layers and layers upon layers. I love that. You can still see pieces of every single layer, but some of the overall pieces that I thought would be telling and visible are barely seeable at all. I cut and trimmed and glued and moved things around and glued some more. When I stepped back, this thing took my breath away. I took the pictures while the piece was still wet.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> I had to hang it up, right then. No letting it dry flat overnight or anything. I removed all the other dreamboards from the wall where I keep them. I tend to put one on top the other, not removing the old ones, simply adding the new one on top of the old. With this one, however, the others needed to come down. I put them in a place where their energies would still be flowing and working, but this one needed its own space, all by itself. It had to have room to do its work and to grow and to spread. That’s how it felt last night; that’s how it feels today. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> When I woke up this morning and looked over at it (it’s on the wall in my bedroom), this piece took my breath away, again. The colors alone trigger such evocative emotions in me. I see the messages. I get it. Finally. I know which way I am heading. I even have more than a slight idea how to get there—which for me is pretty impressive. Those colors. Wow. I recently pared down my wardrobe to the absolute bare minimum essentials…and these are the colors, for the most part, with which I am left. Stunning. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TE8y1naq2NI/AAAAAAAAEUA/wp7UB4bJ-Z4/s1600/007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TE8y1naq2NI/AAAAAAAAEUA/wp7UB4bJ-Z4/s320/007.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TE8ysTPrQ8I/AAAAAAAAET4/pdmlJVWgPAE/s1600/006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TE8ysTPrQ8I/AAAAAAAAET4/pdmlJVWgPAE/s320/006.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">One task today that I didn’t realize I had set for myself until I was in the process of doing it was to take the picture of the dreamboard and set it as the background on my computer, so that I see it all the time, every day, not just when I am in my bedroom. Not that I haven’t been spending more time alone in the bedroom during the day—I have. I have set myself a little bit of a writer’s nook so I can work on my <a href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dailywritingpractice/">daily writing practice</a> and my pseudo-<a href="http://www.theartistsway.com/the-basic-tools">morning pages</a>.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Now, I have been working on a new project, as you can see <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/personal-spiritual-development-programs/">here</a>. It is still in the planning stages, to say the least. I had to write a small blurb about it so I could post it in a public forum, lest I grow cold feet and shelf the project for a year or two. This is something rather near and dear to my heart that I have pondered and thought about and wondered about and looked for from other people for a good five, six years now, if not longer. Ok, fine. I have to admit it. The basics have been swimming around in my brain since the late 90s, when I ordered a <a href="http://www.yogananda-srf.org/Default.aspx">Yogananda</a> program. The program packed away at the moment, so I can’t give you details…and of course I do not see this particular program listed on the website anymore. I ordered mine in the 90s—it came with cassette tapes. I saw it a few years later, offered with cds. It was a meditation/ self-realization program. It made a large impact on me at the time, remnants of which are still bound to my body/mind, for which I am truly honored and grateful. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">This dreamboard only solidifies my need to pursue this course that much more fully and openly. Keep an eye out. I wrote something this morning, during my pseudo-morning pages (I say pseudo since I program them with a certain topic every day and then basically free write…not the whole unfettered stream of consciousness thing with which Julia Cameron created the concept.)…I need to type that out and post it <a href="http://thefeyofthecrossroads.wordpress.com/">there</a> today, or quite possibly tomorrow, depending on how things move around here for the rest of the day.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> This dreamboard is also actually pushing me more forward with my other creative project, seen <a href="http://ravensinthewritingdesk.wordpress.com/">here</a>. I have several entries written out and ready to be typed up…but I have been hesitant to draw or to find the photographs I know I have taken that will aid the presentation of these pieces. It’s been so easy to just sigh and sit back and let everything overwhelm me of late…but I am trying very hard to get off my backside, get back in the saddle and really get moving again. I have become very interested in the <a href="http://tarotnarrative.blogspot.com/">new goings-on</a> at <a href="http://dailywriting.net/">SoulFoodCafe</a>, as some of the past journeys that have been undertaken by this group are the inspiration for my own personal journey with <a href="http://ravensinthewritingdesk.wordpress.com/">this blog</a>…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Strangely enough, the main gist of what I take away from this newest dreamboard is in order to go forward you must go back…do not falter in the details (as in stop thinking you need to read and study and go through other people), but rather focus on what you know (as in what your heart and soul tell you, not your brain, nor your personal frame of reference). Be open. Be pure. Remember who you are and how very infinitely strong you are. Remember how many there are who have your back, on this side of the Veil and the other (as in friends and family still alive, and those who have passed on, the Ancestors).</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Here’s to a wonderful experience following my Path, going forwards by going backwards, which has always been my own best way. I look forward to sharing it with you along the way.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> Peace.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TE8yba9qzvI/AAAAAAAAETo/YFQ2TbjeshI/s1600/012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oH4tSqDVvfY/TE8yba9qzvI/AAAAAAAAETo/YFQ2TbjeshI/s320/012.JPG" /></a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-51598191342568598682010-07-26T13:09:00.003-05:002010-07-26T13:09:56.259-05:00Monday Goal-Setting (July 26)<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> Monday … today started WAY too early. My insomnia is not improving…it’s been getting worse and worse…maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s the time of year. Maybe it has something to do w the distraught state of our house… Hopefully, that will get better soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> So…what am I going to do this week? It’s a busy week, even without any of my own stuff in it. R has tons to do. His dad is going into the hospital to have knee replacement surgery…there’s golf, maybe two nights. Jazzfest, which E really really looks forward to every week. R was too sick for us to go last week, even though he told me the kids and I should still go. Nope. Not while he’s sick. Plus, there is a float trip coming up this week-end too. *sigh* so much to do …<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> But, I have all this ^other^ time on my hands? What exactly are my plans? (If I write them down and make them public, will I not have a much better chance of actually accomplishing something??) <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> N’s room…my top priority. E has her room all to herself. Now it’s time to pull all the not N stuff out of N’s room. This entails moving one dresser into the basement and one dresser out of the basement. A lovely wooden storage chest is also basement bound. I also need to go through all his clothes…he’s a husky little thing…not to mention, we can’t find where he took off his sandals…weeks ago…we are still looking. Hopefully, we can finally find them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> If I were really good, I’d clean out the fish tank. We have lots of little babies running around … even orange ones, and more spotted ones. If I were really really good, I’d get R to sit down to hold one bun or the other and groom my rabbits…because they are in sore need of it…why I had to get angoras is beyond me. Sure sure sure. The whole spinning thing. It sounded good at the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> Rabbit note: I am this close to only having one rabbit…I keep telling myself it takes 2-3 months after getting your rabbit fixed for all the testosterone to leave his little system…if Simon doesn’t quit marking his territory to prove that’s his side of the cages, I think I might be having braised rabbit for dinner here soon. Charley calmed right down after surgery. Humper bunny Simon though is still…bonkers. Patience, of course, is not my virtue. But in this case, I am trying. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> Btw…do you know how to tick a dog off? Give your bunnies each a piece of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zingers">zinger</a> (yes, a small piece) and don’t give the dog any. Drives the dog nuts. (dogs here are not allowed to beg, even though they try to get away w it…which is why the buns got zingers in the first place) Kids don’t much seem to mind though…maybe because I like the yellow zingers and they like the chocolate ones…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> Sand and repaint the blue dresser. N inherited this dresser, I think from his great grandfather? It was ugly when we got it. It had chips and pieces knocked out. So I repainted it…and added some texture to cover up bumps and dings on the sides…I changed the handles…and I totally did not think about it but I basically painted it <a href="http://blues.nhl.com/">the Blues</a> team colors (which is T’s favorite sports team—and the only St Louis sports team I have anything to do with here). Well, the paint has been …ahem…burned in several places (from incense) and the whole side panels thing is bothering me…plus, I just simply do not like it anymore. N helped me pick out colors yesterday…I have to sand the thing down…remove all the stuff (it started out as tissue paper and kid’s school glue, then painted over—it is a pretty cool effect—I am just…tired of it) on the sides…and start over. With claret wine and nutmeg paints…I am not sure yet which paint is going to be the focal paint and which the accent paint…but for some reason, those are the two paints we chose. Oh, we chose those because <a href="http://www.homedepot.com/">home depot</a> did not have much selection in the realm of red…candy apple red was not nearly where I wanted to go…but these two will do quite well. Plus, I’d like to get this done before N comes this week-end. He can be very *helpful* at times. Then again, so can his sister.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> Our closet in the master bedroom is enough to make me shriek right now—so that has to be done. Since we are STILL waiting for <a href="http://www.mrsandless.com/includes/stlouis-mo.php">Mr Sandless</a> (it’s a lovely game of phone tag, it is. The guy, Lou?, will call R at work on R’s cel, and R cannot always grab the cel when it rings. Lou says call me any time, here’s my office number. I’ll be here til 5. Here’s my cel. Call me anytime. R can call back within 5 minutes of Lou leaving the message, well before 5 or whatever time Lou gives—and gets voice mail at the office number and the cell number. Isn’t that just convenient? And I am not talking once or twice—I am talking every single time. No matter when R calls, it’s always voice mail. Ask me again why we will never use them again and why we will never recommend them to anyone…). I have pretty much had it. Our closet floor has been in disarray because we’ve been waiting for Mr Sandless to come complete their job…if you missed why, read <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-i-can-not-in-good-conscious.html">this post</a>…. This week, I am putting it all back together the way it ought to be. Why? Not only because it is driving me crazy…but because, according to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law">Murphy’s Law</a>, as soon as I do that, Mr Sandless should become magically available and be able to come out the very next day to actually finish out the closet the way they were supposed to that very first time. This will also help me clear out N’s room, since we put most of our closet stuff in his room/in his closet to get it all out of the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> I must work more on my <a href="http://www.craftyarncouncil.com/teach.html">knitting instructor’s program</a>…I have three swatches done…and I think one of those swatches needs to be redone…who knew ribbing would be so contrary? My goal is to have the first four modules done by the end of the week…knock on wood. As I continue to read forward into things, I am actually worrying about things. Now, I am able to do colorwork (thanks to <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Elizabeth-Zimmermanns-Knitting-Workshop-Zimmermann/dp/0942018001">EZ’s Knitting Workshop</a>)…I can work cables, slowly and without the intervention and/or assistance of small children—or dogs of any size)…but we’re talking intarsia, and all sorts of other really scary things that have been on my ‘going to learn one day’ list for …a long long time…I’m not going to let my own intimidation and fear get to me—I am just going to plow on through.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> Note to self: if I don’t sign up for any of the classes (yet), I do at least need to join <a href="http://www.tkga.com/">the Knitting Guild of America</a>…because at some point I will be taking some of the classes…not to mention, now that I am doing more reading and research, I sort of wish I had gone w them first…but this is the course I chose to do first and it is the one I am sticking with, until the end…when all else fails with me, seek more education until confidence is gain and/or restored…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> Work on unpacking all the kitchen stuff…yes, basically the first stuff that was moved over here is, not by any means the last stuff, but it’s still sitting downstairs, like most everything else…I needed to find our popcorn popper this week-end, for my darling boy {what? <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene_Simmons">Gene Simmon’s</a> mom own that phrase or something? ;) }…and there was no way I could find it in all the mess downstairs…I did try. There are many boxes to go through yet…not just kitchen related…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: FangSong;">We did end up buying this terrific magazine while we were at <a href="http://www.samsclub.com/sams/homepage.jsp">Sam’s Club</a> this week-end though. <a href="http://www.familyhandyman.com/">The Family Handyman</a>. I originally picked it up for the landscaping ideas…since I have several different ideas on-going at the moment…but this issue alone had so many GOOD ideas for, say, organizing our basement, and creating tiny little nooks of cabinet space in over-looked places…before I hit page twenty it had already proven itself more than worthy of the initial investment. Heck, this magazine ended up being better than the past 5-6 books on build your own wooden projects books we’ve gotten from the library…and it was one of those fluky little purchases I make, grab me and read me, you’ll like it—this time we really did. Now all we have to do is start implementing these ideas and things are going to be great…</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"> One more thing. I didn't do a full-moon dreamboard this week-end. I am in the middle of yet a very large, very disconcerting shift...but I have been having some ideas for a dreamboard--I just feel the need to do something ...bigger...than just a monthly dreamboard...so, add this to the list too. </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: FangSong;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: FangSong;">These are my goals for the week…let’s see if I can achieve them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-47291114104345397042010-07-23T14:42:00.000-05:002010-07-23T14:42:02.901-05:00Motion, Going Forward<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> With all the myriad of things going on w us here right now…and my frequent complete lack of motivation to so much as get out of bed, much less do anything else…I am finally in the mood to DO something. Except…I am notorious for getting lost…no matter what the topic. I normally have no clue what day it is … so I tend to miss things like <a href="http://www.textyladies.com/tag/tt/">Talkative Tuesday</a>, <a href="http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/wishcasting-wednesday-what-do-you-wish-to-envision">Wishcasting Wednesday</a>, <a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/20100715/8things-honoring-places/">8 Things</a> on Thursday, because…I don’t remember them until too late. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> Heck, other than the motions in my mind, I can’t even remember to do something tangible to be <a href="http://creativeeveryday.com/">Creative Every Day</a>…with the move and the confusion thereafter, I have not worked on my daily writing practice, nor knitting, nor drawing, nor spirit dolls, nor much of anything really at all. I have become ungrounded and veritably unhinged of late. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> This is me, digging my way out of the huge chasm that is the rut I have planted myself in. Perhaps this is me, the determined weed growing out from the crack in the sidewalk, or the tree slicing through to the side of the cliff…whatever you want to call it…this is me, working towards rebuilding.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> One of the things that has bothered me of late is this blog. I’ve been doing a little tiny bit of tweaking here and there the past week or so. Removing a few things. Adding a few things. Nothing major. I am not quite ready for a major visual overhaul…but I am not ruling that out either. First of all, all the how to promote your blog ‘stuff’ has been not floating but booming through my head—you have to post, you have to post, you have to have to have to…and I have had absolutely nothing to say…until it dawned on me…why did I start a blog in the first place? For me.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> Yes. I started the blog for me, myself, me personally. It’s a place to get my ick out…and a place to get me sweet out…and everything in between. It is a place for me to come to not only be able to interact with other people…but also just to interact with myself…and to hold myself accountable. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> And let me mention, I do proudly display the <a href="http://www.tartx.com/blog/?page_id=233">B.W.O</a> (blogging without obligation) badge on my blog…because I don’t want to feel obligated to write on my own personal blog when I don’t feel like it. I don’t expect anyone to post every single day…and I know when things go sour and/or I am not in a decent mood or when life suddenly speeds up … my blog is the first thing that suffers…and for the past, oh, two months, my blogs, they have all suffered…but at least I have gotten some stuff posted, to all of them, at one point or another, these past months.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> So, this morning, I was sitting there, in my bed, with my little writing board spread across my lap, looking at the morning pages entry that I have not yet typed up and posted, thinking, wow, I need to get back on track with things here, not just the blog, but with my life. I need to write…and when I thought that, I need to write, I had to stop and think…why? It’s not just about<a href="http://www.seededbuzz.com/"> seededbuzz</a>, or my wonderful followers, or anything like that…I think perhaps spending too much time for <a href="http://www.seededbuzz.com/">seededbuzz</a> and worrying about what will my followers think if I don’t or if I do write…I think that is one thing that has driven me from writing and from posting more…I have been so worried about …doing things right, or not writing too much, or not writing enough, or not saying what I want to say the way someone else can grasp it, just obeying all the ‘rules’ of blogging…that I sort of lost perspective of why I really do this. Yes, it is nice to have readers and to have followers…but my first allegiance is to myself…and I have let that allegiance fall by the roadside of late. Not just blogging…but my own writing, my own work… Yes, my daughter has taken up a great deal of time and energy this month…yes, the move and the unpacking has taken up a great deal more time and energy…but for the things that really matter to me, I should be able to at least make some time…and yet, I haven’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> Insomnia has been a boon for me the past few days…as strange as that sounds. I have a notebook full of scrawled notes to myself…something to ground me and keep me on an even keel, something to remind me of the bounty my half-dead, sleep-deprived brain keeps vomiting up at me so that I can put things into practice…and I am working to incorporate everything I want to incorporate into my life—and to keep it there this time around.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> I read such a <a href="http://www.sableandsquirrel.com/journal/2010/7/20/ten-steps.html">terrific post</a> about how to learn to paint the other day. It’s a terrific plan for …everything…just replace ‘paint’ with whatever subject matter you want and there you go…so I have been trying to follow those plain ten little steps…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> Now, due to my daughter’s butt-headed-ness, we have had troubles setting up a good schedule for different aspects of our homeschooling adventure. Add into that the whole I cannot remember what day it is thing…and I decided that having my day planner was not adequate…it’s no good having everything written down…if I don’t open the thing to look at anything. When the whole move in w R thing started, I pretty much stopped writing down the day to day stuff and only kept hold of the major stuff…like…remembering appointments and such…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> I needed something that would remind me, every day, what we should be doing that day…and not something that I need to log into…or keep up with…something that finds me where I am and bops me in the head. I decided to set up a closed yahoo group to help keep us on track with both the homeschooling scheduling and my own personal scheduling…this way, no one forgets (unless of course yahoo has issues)…but we can make a conscious choice one way or the other about things. I need the prodding, basically, otherwise I will get so mired in all the b/s w E, trying to get her to eat, trying to get her to do her schoolwork, trying to get her to do her chores, trying to be there for her so she knows I will help and knows I love her…I get lost…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> Add into the prompts that are delivered into my inbox every morning (at least I hope they will be, since I am starting this plan come tomorrow…although most won’t start until Monday)…and maybe I will finally re-find myself, after all the turmoil of the last eight months or so, get back into my writing full-time, get back into my art work full-time, finish off the projects I have lying in pieces all around me…and make an effort in my life once more. Then there is also the question of this blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> What is the purpose of this blog now? This is my place to keep myself accountable (knock on wood). Hopefully, if I can pull myself up by my boot straps and urge myself into motion and push myself past all my internal and external blocks, I can post here more often to keep myself active and moving forward…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Euphemia","sans-serif";"> And bless you all who come to read and commiserate and praise and complain and everything else…whether you come only once, or often…thank you, from the bottom of my heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7997376589666672506.post-84909006214866846242010-07-23T12:11:00.000-05:002010-07-23T12:11:09.876-05:00Transitioning<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMama%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> I think I am coming out of it, this daze I have been in, this malaise that has held onto me for months now. It’s not a complete reversal. It’s not a sudden or immediate shift. There are changes, slow, minute, but steady. That, for me, right now, it is enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> Moving is very difficult. We’ve moved two times in six months. Even though this last move was only a half mile between houses, it still was not an easy task. Usually with a move, I am all energy and motion, unpacking and sorting and shifting things around. Not this time. It’s more of a unpack and sort this little box…and call it a day. So many things have been going on lately, I barely manage a box a day…a box a week, maybe. It’s more of an avoidance game at this point. How long can I put this off? And if I put this off, then I won’t have to do this. If I can’t find my water colors, then I can’t paint, now can I? If I don’t know where my pencils or my inks are, there can be no drawing. If I cannot get to my yarn stash, there will be no knitting. Except when I absolutely have to, like the <a href="http://www.ravelry.com/projects/knittingjourney/easy-knit-doll">Zombie doll</a> I had to knit tout suite for A for her birthday recently (picture still not transferred from R’s phone—bear w us please). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> I can run through a ton of reasons (excuses) why I am not doing things, not unpacking things, not being motivated…but why? Honestly, why? At least I have started to see that the whole unpacking process has taken a toll on me—there are piles of things all over the place. I have a box in the living room that has been there all week—the last of the things that need to go back to where they were before <a href="http://www.mrsandless.com/contact_us.php?state=mo">Mr Sandless</a> came to do <a href="http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-i-can-not-in-good-conscious.html">their poor job of things</a> (update there: phone tag games only…even direct call backs go straight to voicemail…NOT the way to run a business of ANY sort, eh?) What it boils down to is a great many things…but, bottom line is: I don’t want to do it. I am choosing not to do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> I am choosing not to unpack. I am choosing not to write. I am choosing not to draw. I am choosing not to knit. I am choosing to submerge myself in mystery and boredom and non-motion. To be fair, much time has been spent staring at my daughter and trying to force her to cooperate…and researching 1 hospitals to send her to, 2 programs to submit her to, 3 hospitals, convents and temples for me to enter to get away from her and everything else in the world. Do not think I am kidding. As many hospitals as I have looked at for E, I have looked at probably twice as many for myself. The child is killing me, slowly, surely, and w deadly accuracy. I can understand stubborn. I can understand father issues. I can understand so many things. But I have reached the point where I cannot deal with any of them anymore. If it weren’t for R, I would have taken her to a hospital, signed my rights away, and quit this entire place. R, and R alone, is what is holding this family together. Him and nothing else.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> If anyone has any suggestions, please, tell me. I have tried the <a href="http://www.cnvc.org/">non-violent communication</a> route…we’ve tried the taking things away route…we’ve tried the rewards system…we’ve tried threats and bribery and begging…we have changed our behaviors, hoping that by doing so hers would change as well. It’s the whole train the parent and the child will change…change your reactions, and the child’s reactions will change. I can be <a href="http://www.motherteresa.org/">Mother Teresa</a> or I can be <a href="http://ancienthistory.about.com/cs/attilathehun/a/attilathehun.htm">Attila the Hun</a>—this kid ain’t budging. She does not care if we take away every item in her room and leave her w only a pillow and blanket. She does not care if we shower her with gifts, or attention, or love and approval. She does not care if she is forced to stay in the house, grounded. She does not care if she gets to go stay w friends or relatives, or play outside with friends. She doesn’t care if she does her schoolwork, or cleans her room, or eats enough to survive, much less thrive. We can talk to her until we are blue in the face. I have always done my best to explain things to her. No one ever told me squat when I was a kid—I still don’t know what went on for most of my life, because no one felt the need to put me in the loop—I feel as if I have no ties at all to anyone in my family, because no one really cares. I have always been and continue to be a burden they all put up w now and again, simply because we share bloodlines. I can’t spank her…although sometimes I want to so badly I can taste it. I was a spanked and beaten child…and I can tell you…it never made any difference at all. It was something that happened. It started. It would stop. It would start again. There was no way to avoid it. However, I have dropped that you can’t spank the children rule where E is concerned—I can’t spank her, but R can. He hasn’t yet, because we shouldn’t have to go that far. But, w E, we have run out of other options. And we’ve told her this. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I don’t know how I failed her so badly, or where I failed her so completely, that this is where she is at now, at her age…and I don’t know how to fix things. We can talk to her—and she says she understands—she repeats things back in her own words. She tells other people what we are doing—so we know she gets what we are saying. Plus, she does talk to us. We may have to pull it out of her, which is like pulling hen’s teeth out w pliers, but she does talk to us. Her actions, however, never change, no matter what we do, no matter what or how we change.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> Some of it is genetics, I know. Some of this does not come from me and has nothing at all to do with me. Then again, some of it is based on the choices I made, the men I accepted and took into my life. I have made mistakes—and I have told her I’ve made mistakes and I’ve made bad choices, but that I am trying to learn from those mistakes and move on, and make better choices, or at least to make better/different mistakes. I’ve even thought of leaving R, which would literally kill us both, if it would help E, but it did dawn on me by leaving R, we would simply be confirming in E’s brain that no man will ever truly love her or accept her –and would set her up to make those same mistakes that I made my entire life while I tried to fill to void in my heart that yearned for my father. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> At least she is eating again and I don’t have to stand there for three hours, saying eat eat eat eat eat…at least her weight is back to where it was pre-anoxeria/bulimia scare…at least she is no longer willing herself to vomit when she thinks she can’t eat another bite…at least she is, mostly, trying to put forth a little bit of effort where her schoolwork is concerned…not much, but a little. Not nearly enough…but a little. If she would work more consistently, I’d find her a <a href="http://www.montessori.edu/">Montessori</a> school, or something, so she could be w other kids, and learn other things…but, I know from experience, just as she will sit here and not do a thing, we can take her to school and she will refuse to do anything and will sit for hours and hours and not move there either. She’s acted that way before hwen we had her in Montessori school…she will do it again. She’s done it in other places too. She’s been asking us to take her to <a href="http://tutoring.sylvanlearning.com/">Sylvan Learning Center</a>…but when we explained why we wouldn’t (if she won’t do the work w/for us on her own, why would she do it for a complete stranger…if I thought she’d do something for someone else, I’d take her in a heartbeat, even if I had to get a ‘regular’ job two or three ‘regular’ jobs even, in order to pay for it!), she sort of us shrugged and gave up…she never said she’d try, or she’d think about it—even though we told her if she would try, we’d do it…which is the same thing I tell her about Montessori school…if I thought she would try, if she thought she would try, I’d work my butt off to get her into a program…but she never really wants to try. It’s the same thing I tell her about so many other things—if she’d at least try, I’d do whatever it took to get her to where she wants to be, to do whatever it is she wants to do. I know she’s a perfectionist; I know if she can’t do it perfectly and do it right, she would prefer not to do it; I know looking bad in front of other people scares her…but she won’t even try…at home or elsewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> Sigh…and that is where all my energy has gone…energy I really didn’t have to begin with anyway…that is where all my concentration has gone. I have barely touched my <a href="http://www.craftyarncouncil.com/teach.html">knitting instructor course</a>. Even though I hate to knit swatches, and the beginnings of this course is all about making swatches to show off different techniques, I don’t want to touch yarn or anything else after having to deal w E all day. I haven’t been writing all that much—as my blogs can all attest. As can all my friends and family that I normally email weekly, if not daily, can attest. I fight getting out of bed in the mornings, even though sleep is a battle the whole night through. I have taken to nearly napping in the afternoons, as I’d rather not think consciously than have to fight my brain to quiet down. I am ready for bed usually at seven in the evening, but I can’t go to bed, 1 because E usually isn’t done w her schoolwork and/or her dinner, 2 because there are places to go and things to be done, 3 because the kids need time to stay up w R, and I need time awake w R…so I fight to stay awake…and sometimes it works…other times, I fight to stay awake so long that once the battle is done, I can’t get to sleep to save my life…which is when I read 4 books in 2 days like the past couple days here.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> But, along with reading these books, I have also been busy otherwise. I have a new synopsis ready to flesh out. I have coursework to design…not for E…but for classes I plan to teach on down the line. The thing is, these are classes I have had in the back of my head for more than five years now. Now I am ready to really get into the development of them. I am writing, working with my <a href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dailywritingpractice/">daily writing practice</a>, and a different form of <a href="http://www.theartistsway.com/tools/the-basic-tools">morning pages</a>…I have many entries and articles that I should have written in the past few months that I did not make time for…so my morning pages work is catching up on those articles, rather than whatever floats through my brain…basically because there is nothing in my brain that I can access. I have been fighting E for so long now, fighting for her, against her and with her, that if I stop and stare out into space there is nothing, not even a low hum—I can’t do that in meditation or even after an hour’s worth of uninterrupted Yoga—but that girl has managed to do it—except that this is not the peaceful quiet of a monkey mind tamed and subdued—this is the drooling viscera leftover after the monkey mind has raped and pillaged the world and has become one with the putrefying carnage…this is not empty and devoid of thought…this is that blank brick wall and I have run into it so often that I am now a part of it…but I have not given up…I am slowly struggling to reach out and grab hold of something, just for me, so that I am not my daughter’s keeper and the tyrant who does nothing but crack the whip…my home is a battlefield and is full of chaos due to the lack of unpacking, the lack of organization going on…I have no clue how to conquer any of that…because every time I want to try, there is a road block. But at least I am trying. At least I am working towards…something…even if I don’t know what it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> Thanks for listening. <o:p></o:p></span></div>Tabitha the KnittingJourneymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05039857244611956960noreply@blogger.com