The Monkey Meme
Sunday Stealing: The Monkey's Meme
1. Name one person who made you smile today:
N
2. What were you doing at 8am this morning?
getting coco puffs for a snotty little boys
3. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
same thing I am doing now, talking to H
4. What is your favorite candy bar?
hmm...milky way
5. Have you ever been to a strip club?
yep, many times, not recently
6. What was the last thing you had to drink?
cold sweet tea
7. What was the last thing you ate?
cherry poptart
8. The last sporting event you watched?
hockey game
9. Do you go to church every Sunday?
nope
10. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
yes
11. What are you doing tomorrow?
working, writing, drawing, organizing
12. What do you think of when you hear Australia?
walk-about, coral reefs, great white sharks
13. Biggest annoyance right now?
T
14. Last song listened to?
Runaway Lover by Madonna
15. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
I wish
16. Are you jealous of anyone?
no
17. Is anyone jealous of you?
uhm, according to what people say to me and tell me, yes-but I am not sure why
18. What do you usually do during the day?
work
19. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
nope, don't have the energy
20. Are you thinking about someone right now?
yes :-)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Check This Out
I was reading Leah's blog and marveling at the synchronicity that continues to show up in my life day after day....when I came upon Warrior Girl and her mini-revolution here....
The first thing I did was go to amazon to check out 'People of the Whale' by Linda Hogan. It may be fiction, but there is alot of folk lore, supposedly about the whale and octopus....so it's now officially on my 'gotta-have-it' list....
Then I of course had to post a comment...and yes, I did find my copy of 'Animal Speak' by Ted Andrews....and I am utterly blown away by the things I am reading....I checked out my Totem animals...and my Power animals...at least the ones that were in the book. Nothing on my beloved octopus in this book...according to the index. :-) But the STUNNING wealth of information ... staggers me.
And scares me--I keep dreaming about white elephants, a pair of them. Yippee.... scary scary....
I do not always read every comment ahead of mine when I post a comment on someone's blog...but one comment in particular caught my eye.
Rowena is planning to paint 100 complete pictures in 100 days...and has invited everyone else to do 100 whatever in 100 days as well...it doesn't have to be painting....otherwise, I don't think I would have sat and read and thought how close to something that has been boiling through my brain lately that really is.
I paint--but mostly journal pages. Not 'real' paintings or anything like that. I am however determined to keep drawing. And after reading about elephants and spiders in 'Animal Speak' not too long ago, I know I have to at this point.
Ever since i read 'Everyday Sacred' by Sue Bender I have wanted to make a bowl--by whatever means--knitting, pinch pot, pottery class, ceramics class, whatever...and then draw that same bowl, over and over, if not 100 days, then every day for an entire year...until the very essence of that bowl is more than clear to me.
Since i don't yet trust myself as an artist, I haven't pursued it, at all. Although with this challenge, I am thinking it would be a good time to do so.
See, pledging to be creative every day is one thing...I can cook and be creative....I can play with my kids and be creative...I can watch the clouds flying by and make up stories in my head about what I see and still be creative...but pledging to actually physically create--and finish one project, every single day, for 100 days...???
Walk me back into being afraid of failing... and at the same time being afraid of succeeding...
but I feel I have to do something...
A poem a day for 100 days...a story a day for 100 days...
a story a day I feel is cheating ... since I am supposed to write 1000 words a day every day and I am trying to post to the Pythian Games at least three times per week....which means writing based off of a prompt at least three times per week, which is no problem, but still....
It's the commitment thing...and it should be fairly clear now that I am afraid of commitment anyway... :-)
100 days...to complete 1 project per day for 100 days....
I can do this. I know I can. I can make the time. I know I can. So, why am I listening to the squirrelly little monkeys shrieking and bellowing and tearing up the ground in my mind?
Because that is what I am used to doing...
So I am going to push myself outside my comfort zone....
I am going to commit to drawing 100 pictures in 100 days ... I am not promising colour until my dickblick order arrives, but I will have 100 drawings drawn ... I am so pledging to do this now...
YIKES!!
I am though..fear or no fear.....
The first thing I did was go to amazon to check out 'People of the Whale' by Linda Hogan. It may be fiction, but there is alot of folk lore, supposedly about the whale and octopus....so it's now officially on my 'gotta-have-it' list....
Then I of course had to post a comment...and yes, I did find my copy of 'Animal Speak' by Ted Andrews....and I am utterly blown away by the things I am reading....I checked out my Totem animals...and my Power animals...at least the ones that were in the book. Nothing on my beloved octopus in this book...according to the index. :-) But the STUNNING wealth of information ... staggers me.
And scares me--I keep dreaming about white elephants, a pair of them. Yippee.... scary scary....
I do not always read every comment ahead of mine when I post a comment on someone's blog...but one comment in particular caught my eye.
Rowena is planning to paint 100 complete pictures in 100 days...and has invited everyone else to do 100 whatever in 100 days as well...it doesn't have to be painting....otherwise, I don't think I would have sat and read and thought how close to something that has been boiling through my brain lately that really is.
I paint--but mostly journal pages. Not 'real' paintings or anything like that. I am however determined to keep drawing. And after reading about elephants and spiders in 'Animal Speak' not too long ago, I know I have to at this point.
Ever since i read 'Everyday Sacred' by Sue Bender I have wanted to make a bowl--by whatever means--knitting, pinch pot, pottery class, ceramics class, whatever...and then draw that same bowl, over and over, if not 100 days, then every day for an entire year...until the very essence of that bowl is more than clear to me.
Since i don't yet trust myself as an artist, I haven't pursued it, at all. Although with this challenge, I am thinking it would be a good time to do so.
See, pledging to be creative every day is one thing...I can cook and be creative....I can play with my kids and be creative...I can watch the clouds flying by and make up stories in my head about what I see and still be creative...but pledging to actually physically create--and finish one project, every single day, for 100 days...???
Walk me back into being afraid of failing... and at the same time being afraid of succeeding...
but I feel I have to do something...
A poem a day for 100 days...a story a day for 100 days...
a story a day I feel is cheating ... since I am supposed to write 1000 words a day every day and I am trying to post to the Pythian Games at least three times per week....which means writing based off of a prompt at least three times per week, which is no problem, but still....
It's the commitment thing...and it should be fairly clear now that I am afraid of commitment anyway... :-)
100 days...to complete 1 project per day for 100 days....
I can do this. I know I can. I can make the time. I know I can. So, why am I listening to the squirrelly little monkeys shrieking and bellowing and tearing up the ground in my mind?
Because that is what I am used to doing...
So I am going to push myself outside my comfort zone....
I am going to commit to drawing 100 pictures in 100 days ... I am not promising colour until my dickblick order arrives, but I will have 100 drawings drawn ... I am so pledging to do this now...
YIKES!!
I am though..fear or no fear.....
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Look! An Octopus!
Leah asks:
Are there any animals showing up in your life or artwork right now? Do they have meaning for you? If you asked them what they're here to teach you, what would they answer?
It is so funny that I should read this today of all days.
Last night I decided that today would be the day I investigate elephants.
If you remember my May dream board, I said the elephants in the pictures demanded to be there.
Elephants have been wanting to creep in and manifest and help things manifest for awhile now.
It's time I gave them some genuine attention here.
Ganesh is one of my patron saints, if you will. I am a writer-and now officially an artist as well--yes, I have decided to accept this label/title and to feel good about doing so.
Which brings up....
I have also been paying closer attention to my own Deities lately.
Interesting things are turning up there as well.
First, Ganesh is a god who loves writers, artists, dancers...so it is said. Somewhere along the line I was told He is the God of literature and therefore writers...
I am forever known for my dual nature--a Gemini-ascendent Pisces--it's not a hard leap there....my Deities reflect this about me.....
Ganesh--He places the obstacles in your way--and He removes them--as He sees fit.
Ma Kali--the Destroyer--and the Great Mother Creator....She burns you clean with Her Touch...or She does me....
I have a version of Kuan Yin here--the Benevolent Mother--as an avenging Force on par with Ma Kali.
Oshun--Goddess of Love, prosperity--with an outrageous temper, giving Her vent to become the Creatrix of Storms.
My darling Loki--Trickster God....
There are many more I could pull up and pull out ... but I won't.
It's like having two kids...you leave them happily playing and giggling together to run to the bathroom before anyone notices and wants to come in with you (yes, my kids are 5 and 8 --that does NOT stop them! although the dog is even worse...)--and all of a sudden both are screaming and crying after the split-second fisty-cuffs is over. And you're caught with your pants down around your ankles trying to figure out who's dying fastest and what happened....
Back to the elephants.
I have wandered my mental landscape all day, off and on, throughout all my other wanderings today, trying to find the elephant in my childhood and beyond. I am not surprised at all to find them hiding there.
Here's something I wrote this morning...from a piece I am not going to continue, since I have already started a different aspect in another piece...so here's what I am salvagaing--and posting here...
*************************************************
Long ago, before I moved from my mother’s house to my father’s for all but that final time, when I was maybe eight years old, maybe nine, my mother bought me a beautifully decorated purple elephant as a birthday present, with jeweled blanket across its back, the deluxe version, in what I thought of as royal garb, or party dress. This is something I had wanted for awhile, something that appealed to some dimly remembered place in my heart. She had managed to sneak in buying it and getting it past me into the house. But, I had a birthday party to go to, for one of my best friends. Her birthday was a week or so before mine. We lived on a pretty tight budget, to say the very very least. My mother brought me into her room, which I never entered without permission, even if she were not home, and showed me this beautiful thing. It was not a toy. It was a collector’s item. A show piece. Oh, how I had wanted one, for so long. My mother told me she had gotten it for me, for my birthday. She said I could have this to give to my friend…or I could keep it as my own. She also made it clear there was no money for any other present. I had to choose one or the other. It hurt me to say it, but I didn’t hesitate when I said I would be pleased to give it to my friend. I would rather she be happy and I get to go to her party to see her enjoy it. This is what I did.
****************************************************************************
A deep royal purple. WIth an ornamental head dress and saddle/blanket and ankle bracelets--alot of embroidery--alot of jewels. Very pretty. I have never regretted giving that to my friend.
There's one. The bog one that bellows from the depths of my brain in triumph.
The ex always had a thing for elephants. He never could tell me why. I just liked elephants, period. I never really gave it all that much thought.
Elephants to me are part of the primordial beginnings of the Universe. I do not know where this thought came from--or why it is a part of my hierarchy. But--there it is. That is the way it has always been, so far as I can tell.
When I think of elephants I think of wisdom, compassion, patience....I think of Matriarchs and Mothers in charge of things. Women running things in a cool calm and sedate manner....until danger appears and then there is serious business to be attended to, where the Mothers unite to destroy all threat before returning to their peaceful existence. Elephants have no real natural enemies--other than Man, of course.
Today I learned that elephants represent many things to many people.
Things like:
well-being
prosperity
movers of good things/events
abundance
richness
fertility
boldness
strength
wisdom
royalty
clouds
gracefulness
earth and its tremors
messenger of the gods
The White Elephant holds similar connotations to me as does the White Buffalo.
Elephants are one of the Seven Jewels of Royal Power, so it is said.
The elephant represents the boundless powers of a Buddha; miraculous aspiration, analysis, intention and effort...
Elephants also represent the muladhara chakra--the foundation chakra--the one I work on most of the time in myself--grounding and finding a balance to support myself with/upon. Elephants are the strong firmament upon which one builds the foundations for the largest, tallest, most immense buildings.....
The big question is what are they here to teach me....
I am still pondering this one.....
I will let you know what I find out.
I did draw a couple very nice pictures today...there is one of an elephant that I think is particularly good. I am waiting til my dickblick order arrives before I colour it in....I placed the order last night....
I did work on my drawing lesson today...made it mostly through lesson one. It is a self-paced course, so I am not worrying there.
I drew some really horrendous stuff that turned out amazingly like the practice examples. It did not really make me happy. Although it did emphasize the whole you should have an affinity for the subject you are drawing aspect for me.....
That was said at the beginning of the lesson...one of the artist's tips...then they proceeded to have me draw things I have no real affinity for and which I felt were not at all very decent. I do like how a couple of the tropical birds turned out, but generally felt they too fell short. I'm ok with falling short-personally I expect to at this point.
They had an example of an elephant, so I copied that sketch. It was cute, but not what I had in mind. I set aside my book and my markers, pulled up a picture from morguefile.com and drew a very remarkable elephant picture on my own that I am very proud of.
And I will say it again...I do not like to draw with markers. I like to do my work in pencil. I like to be able to erase and redraw. I have a much better time using pencils to draw. I have also developed an issue of late where my hand trembles alot for some reason and the marker lines are all squiggly. In some cases I have used this quirk to my advantage--but when I am adding colour to mandalas the quirk is a jerk and does not help at all. With a pencil, there are no such issues.
I know I have 'official' drawing pencils...somewhere....I just don't know where...probably in hiding with my ice pick. :-) And now my stapler...although in defense of the stapler, I have to hide it from the girl because I know not what she does to it that makes me have to buy a new one after she's touched the old one.....she messes them up that much....yes....
It is too late at night now for me to finish my story....which is good because I am not sure where it is going...the white elephant story of mine that I began before my children nagged me off the computer so they could play online earlier today....
but there is always tomorrow.
Sleep tight. :-)
Are there any animals showing up in your life or artwork right now? Do they have meaning for you? If you asked them what they're here to teach you, what would they answer?
It is so funny that I should read this today of all days.
Last night I decided that today would be the day I investigate elephants.
If you remember my May dream board, I said the elephants in the pictures demanded to be there.
Elephants have been wanting to creep in and manifest and help things manifest for awhile now.
It's time I gave them some genuine attention here.
Ganesh is one of my patron saints, if you will. I am a writer-and now officially an artist as well--yes, I have decided to accept this label/title and to feel good about doing so.
Which brings up....
I have also been paying closer attention to my own Deities lately.
Interesting things are turning up there as well.
First, Ganesh is a god who loves writers, artists, dancers...so it is said. Somewhere along the line I was told He is the God of literature and therefore writers...
I am forever known for my dual nature--a Gemini-ascendent Pisces--it's not a hard leap there....my Deities reflect this about me.....
Ganesh--He places the obstacles in your way--and He removes them--as He sees fit.
Ma Kali--the Destroyer--and the Great Mother Creator....She burns you clean with Her Touch...or She does me....
I have a version of Kuan Yin here--the Benevolent Mother--as an avenging Force on par with Ma Kali.
Oshun--Goddess of Love, prosperity--with an outrageous temper, giving Her vent to become the Creatrix of Storms.
My darling Loki--Trickster God....
There are many more I could pull up and pull out ... but I won't.
It's like having two kids...you leave them happily playing and giggling together to run to the bathroom before anyone notices and wants to come in with you (yes, my kids are 5 and 8 --that does NOT stop them! although the dog is even worse...)--and all of a sudden both are screaming and crying after the split-second fisty-cuffs is over. And you're caught with your pants down around your ankles trying to figure out who's dying fastest and what happened....
Back to the elephants.
I have wandered my mental landscape all day, off and on, throughout all my other wanderings today, trying to find the elephant in my childhood and beyond. I am not surprised at all to find them hiding there.
Here's something I wrote this morning...from a piece I am not going to continue, since I have already started a different aspect in another piece...so here's what I am salvagaing--and posting here...
*************************************************
Long ago, before I moved from my mother’s house to my father’s for all but that final time, when I was maybe eight years old, maybe nine, my mother bought me a beautifully decorated purple elephant as a birthday present, with jeweled blanket across its back, the deluxe version, in what I thought of as royal garb, or party dress. This is something I had wanted for awhile, something that appealed to some dimly remembered place in my heart. She had managed to sneak in buying it and getting it past me into the house. But, I had a birthday party to go to, for one of my best friends. Her birthday was a week or so before mine. We lived on a pretty tight budget, to say the very very least. My mother brought me into her room, which I never entered without permission, even if she were not home, and showed me this beautiful thing. It was not a toy. It was a collector’s item. A show piece. Oh, how I had wanted one, for so long. My mother told me she had gotten it for me, for my birthday. She said I could have this to give to my friend…or I could keep it as my own. She also made it clear there was no money for any other present. I had to choose one or the other. It hurt me to say it, but I didn’t hesitate when I said I would be pleased to give it to my friend. I would rather she be happy and I get to go to her party to see her enjoy it. This is what I did.
****************************************************************************
A deep royal purple. WIth an ornamental head dress and saddle/blanket and ankle bracelets--alot of embroidery--alot of jewels. Very pretty. I have never regretted giving that to my friend.
There's one. The bog one that bellows from the depths of my brain in triumph.
The ex always had a thing for elephants. He never could tell me why. I just liked elephants, period. I never really gave it all that much thought.
Elephants to me are part of the primordial beginnings of the Universe. I do not know where this thought came from--or why it is a part of my hierarchy. But--there it is. That is the way it has always been, so far as I can tell.
When I think of elephants I think of wisdom, compassion, patience....I think of Matriarchs and Mothers in charge of things. Women running things in a cool calm and sedate manner....until danger appears and then there is serious business to be attended to, where the Mothers unite to destroy all threat before returning to their peaceful existence. Elephants have no real natural enemies--other than Man, of course.
Today I learned that elephants represent many things to many people.
Things like:
well-being
prosperity
movers of good things/events
abundance
richness
fertility
boldness
strength
wisdom
royalty
clouds
gracefulness
earth and its tremors
messenger of the gods
The White Elephant holds similar connotations to me as does the White Buffalo.
Elephants are one of the Seven Jewels of Royal Power, so it is said.
The elephant represents the boundless powers of a Buddha; miraculous aspiration, analysis, intention and effort...
Elephants also represent the muladhara chakra--the foundation chakra--the one I work on most of the time in myself--grounding and finding a balance to support myself with/upon. Elephants are the strong firmament upon which one builds the foundations for the largest, tallest, most immense buildings.....
The big question is what are they here to teach me....
I am still pondering this one.....
I will let you know what I find out.
I did draw a couple very nice pictures today...there is one of an elephant that I think is particularly good. I am waiting til my dickblick order arrives before I colour it in....I placed the order last night....
I did work on my drawing lesson today...made it mostly through lesson one. It is a self-paced course, so I am not worrying there.
I drew some really horrendous stuff that turned out amazingly like the practice examples. It did not really make me happy. Although it did emphasize the whole you should have an affinity for the subject you are drawing aspect for me.....
That was said at the beginning of the lesson...one of the artist's tips...then they proceeded to have me draw things I have no real affinity for and which I felt were not at all very decent. I do like how a couple of the tropical birds turned out, but generally felt they too fell short. I'm ok with falling short-personally I expect to at this point.
They had an example of an elephant, so I copied that sketch. It was cute, but not what I had in mind. I set aside my book and my markers, pulled up a picture from morguefile.com and drew a very remarkable elephant picture on my own that I am very proud of.
And I will say it again...I do not like to draw with markers. I like to do my work in pencil. I like to be able to erase and redraw. I have a much better time using pencils to draw. I have also developed an issue of late where my hand trembles alot for some reason and the marker lines are all squiggly. In some cases I have used this quirk to my advantage--but when I am adding colour to mandalas the quirk is a jerk and does not help at all. With a pencil, there are no such issues.
I know I have 'official' drawing pencils...somewhere....I just don't know where...probably in hiding with my ice pick. :-) And now my stapler...although in defense of the stapler, I have to hide it from the girl because I know not what she does to it that makes me have to buy a new one after she's touched the old one.....she messes them up that much....yes....
It is too late at night now for me to finish my story....which is good because I am not sure where it is going...the white elephant story of mine that I began before my children nagged me off the computer so they could play online earlier today....
but there is always tomorrow.
Sleep tight. :-)
UPdating Done Elsewhere
Don't Forget ....
I have the blog at gaia.com:
Click here to get there....
I spent some time answering the questions and reflections today.....
Thursday, May 28, 2009
It's Thursday- Time for 8 Things
8 Things : I Need Less Of:
1. First of all, I need less guff from the girl. Where in the mother hand-book is the warning about PRE-pre-puberty? Or the saucy attitude that develops, along with those hormonal rushes and imbalances?
All I need is for her to listen to what I am saying now and then -- and just -- do it. Without hassle. Without me nagging a billion times. Without me wanting to break down and cry in frustration. Without me walking away so I can vent and cry in the silence of my own room.
2. I need less worry when it comes to my job. I worry about time. I worry about hearing the phone. I worry if the phone line is working (darn AT&T). I worry about the number of calls. I worry if the phone doesn't ring within a certain length of time.
That worry begets more worry....can I pay the mortgage.....yada yada... so we run back to the if I take today off to go out with my boyfriend how will I end up trying to make it up later on.....
Bleck!
3. I need less clutter, less useless clutter. Actually, this is a big thing on my as-yet mental to-do list. Clean and purge. Clean and purge. I am starting small. E's room does NOT count. That was a necessity. I made great headway in my own closet, at least the one side. I have other arenas crowding in to be next on the list. My bedroom first. I did a little tonight. There's is alot more in need of being done. Then the den. Then, then, I can start hitting the storage room.
4. I need less fear in my life, less fear, less anxiety. I need less fear of drawing, of writing, of the work I do. I need less fear of just being me. I need to stop being afraid of the way things might turn out, or how they could turn out. I need to stop what if-ing myself to death. And I don't what if! But if one creeps in, usually when someone asks me a question, I'm doomed as my mind takes off in leaping bounds to dodge and dive all over the place. That has got to stop.
5. I need less procrastination and hesitation. I need to just grab the bull by the horns and do it. I've had the paint for my fireplace hearth here for how many months now? I think two, maybe three. I have been stalling on the next installment of my drawing class why? I haven't picked up the books I am reading in at least a week, if not more, why? I haven't located my ice pick or my stapler as yet why? You get the picture.....
6. I need less time spent mowing the frakkin' lawn. This grass keeps GROWING because it won't stop raining. I thought I had a handle on things with the lawn...and then it rained for three days straight. And I didn't plant my baby trees yet--which drags us back to procrastination all over again. :-)
7. I need less time online working through everyone else's blogs and tweets and whatnot. I love everyone's work; I love what they have to show; I love the inspiration and the up-lift I get-but I cannot give so much of myself to you and still have time for me...
I do the best I can, when I am able to....
8. I need less cereal as a meal in my life, right now. I hate to cook for just me, and the girl rarely eats what I want to eat, and I hate to cook 2 meals. So I usually end up cooking something for her and then grabbing something for me later on. I have to stop doing that.
Here's my 8 things....
Good-night.
Until next time.....
1. First of all, I need less guff from the girl. Where in the mother hand-book is the warning about PRE-pre-puberty? Or the saucy attitude that develops, along with those hormonal rushes and imbalances?
All I need is for her to listen to what I am saying now and then -- and just -- do it. Without hassle. Without me nagging a billion times. Without me wanting to break down and cry in frustration. Without me walking away so I can vent and cry in the silence of my own room.
2. I need less worry when it comes to my job. I worry about time. I worry about hearing the phone. I worry if the phone line is working (darn AT&T). I worry about the number of calls. I worry if the phone doesn't ring within a certain length of time.
That worry begets more worry....can I pay the mortgage.....yada yada... so we run back to the if I take today off to go out with my boyfriend how will I end up trying to make it up later on.....
Bleck!
3. I need less clutter, less useless clutter. Actually, this is a big thing on my as-yet mental to-do list. Clean and purge. Clean and purge. I am starting small. E's room does NOT count. That was a necessity. I made great headway in my own closet, at least the one side. I have other arenas crowding in to be next on the list. My bedroom first. I did a little tonight. There's is alot more in need of being done. Then the den. Then, then, I can start hitting the storage room.
4. I need less fear in my life, less fear, less anxiety. I need less fear of drawing, of writing, of the work I do. I need less fear of just being me. I need to stop being afraid of the way things might turn out, or how they could turn out. I need to stop what if-ing myself to death. And I don't what if! But if one creeps in, usually when someone asks me a question, I'm doomed as my mind takes off in leaping bounds to dodge and dive all over the place. That has got to stop.
5. I need less procrastination and hesitation. I need to just grab the bull by the horns and do it. I've had the paint for my fireplace hearth here for how many months now? I think two, maybe three. I have been stalling on the next installment of my drawing class why? I haven't picked up the books I am reading in at least a week, if not more, why? I haven't located my ice pick or my stapler as yet why? You get the picture.....
6. I need less time spent mowing the frakkin' lawn. This grass keeps GROWING because it won't stop raining. I thought I had a handle on things with the lawn...and then it rained for three days straight. And I didn't plant my baby trees yet--which drags us back to procrastination all over again. :-)
7. I need less time online working through everyone else's blogs and tweets and whatnot. I love everyone's work; I love what they have to show; I love the inspiration and the up-lift I get-but I cannot give so much of myself to you and still have time for me...
I do the best I can, when I am able to....
8. I need less cereal as a meal in my life, right now. I hate to cook for just me, and the girl rarely eats what I want to eat, and I hate to cook 2 meals. So I usually end up cooking something for her and then grabbing something for me later on. I have to stop doing that.
Here's my 8 things....
Good-night.
Until next time.....
Poetry Play Thursday
The textyladies have done it again.
What an interesting prompt.
Pictures are forthcoming.
I grabbed a friend--tore a page out of an old book I have had ideas of altering anyway, tore out an auspicious page (page 444 to be exact) and gave the girl a marker. A yellow one. Told her to highlight certain words, whatever she liked.
All I did was take a super sharpie (that's what it says on the side anyway) and marked through everything she hadn't.
Here is what we got:
gulping first drinks...
reluctance...
tolerance...
loss of control...
piling up...
impotence developing...
intensity of female orgasms...
erections are weakened...
stimulates...
destroys...
killer...
never be cured....
no one ever stops...
there is only one solution...
fellowship...
stay sober...
immediate help...
do something about it...
anonymity...
people come and go....
no questions are ever asked...
one day at a time...
if we feel the urge...
neither yield nor desist...
put off taking...
until tomorrow...
nor does it solicit or accept outside funds...
hat is passed...
Triple Mandala
This is called "Between Worlds"....
Drew this awhile back, one of the first I drew when I started drawing mandalas. The date says 5/7/09--but the colour wasn't added til 5/27. Do you see the spider and the octopus?
The Heartwood Tree, Standing In A Pool Of Tears and Blood
See the accompanying story here.....
One picture was taken with the flash on--the other with the flash off.
Really must sit down and chat w the scanner, the darn thing. :-) Works like a dream for the bf--then ignores me every time. :-)
Should I blame the man--or the machine? :-)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Birthday Pics
This will be my third attempt to post these--let's hope 3rd time is a charm.....
it's not blogger--it's AT&T and the lies they tell about 24/7 high speed internet service here.....
just so we are clear... :-)
Dream Weaver
I bow down
With eyes closed
Holding out my heart
Expecting wisdom
Anticipating mercy
One kiss
From Grandmother
As She spins an weaves
Dipping and diving
Encompassing all things
A blessing here
A lesson there
Doe She take
Into account
The deepest desires
In my heart
Or did She
Put them there
For me
To illuminate
To gravitate
Towards them
And make them
Create them
Real
Serpentine Fear
I hear the Fear
Speaking in my Head
Again
As if it ever shut up
Not good enough
Not good enough
Too old
You waited too long
You miss too much
You always miss too much
Not good enough
No way you’ll ever be
Not even monkeys these
This is the soft
So insidious
Serpent viper snake
Sibilant and sinister
My best interests at heart
Only the best of intentions
I’d know that
If I were smart
I know this is only Fear
I know it is not Real
If there is no living Snake
I fear facing
Why does this one
Why do I allow it
To eat away at me
So?
Art Journal Scribble Doodle Thingy
I could explain-or I could keep drawing it til it matches what's in my head.
Think of this as a prototype.
More coming on this soon......
Wednesday Poetry Prompt From Poetic Asides
Prompt number 046
I Love You
I love you…
I know this is a life-changing event…
I believe in destiny…
That we are fated to be,
To live and to die
In one another’s; arms.
How truly enchanted we are,
This torrid love affair
From which my greatest happiness springs.
My safety net against the rigors of a world
I could do without and would if only I could.
Why then do I lay my head down at night,
With tears crowding my eyes,
Choking back sobs that will not come,
Sorrow pounding against my rib cage
Like a daemon trying to escape.
What brings out this fear?
This terror?
What makes the voices whisper
Such vicious little lies
About how maybe I am not the one
That you will choose in the end?
Why is it that such bliss
All too quickly comes crashing down
Severing my heart from my head
And making me wish this were over
That I had packed a bag and run away?
Will this ever stop
So that I can merely relax in
Bask in the love
Your gentleness?
When will you let me win?
I Love You
I love you…
I know this is a life-changing event…
I believe in destiny…
That we are fated to be,
To live and to die
In one another’s; arms.
How truly enchanted we are,
This torrid love affair
From which my greatest happiness springs.
My safety net against the rigors of a world
I could do without and would if only I could.
Why then do I lay my head down at night,
With tears crowding my eyes,
Choking back sobs that will not come,
Sorrow pounding against my rib cage
Like a daemon trying to escape.
What brings out this fear?
This terror?
What makes the voices whisper
Such vicious little lies
About how maybe I am not the one
That you will choose in the end?
Why is it that such bliss
All too quickly comes crashing down
Severing my heart from my head
And making me wish this were over
That I had packed a bag and run away?
Will this ever stop
So that I can merely relax in
Bask in the love
Your gentleness?
When will you let me win?
I Love Questions
Anything that gets me to think and go deeper into my Self, whether I go too deep here publicly, or not deep enough, at least I am diving.....
Summer Raven, oh how I love her name, has posed a question which resonated with me.....and this is the real reason I answer questions and everything else...something resonates with me and I just go with it.....
Here's the question:
"""Starting with a clear mind...what do you think of when asked...."What is a place in nature that you deeply resonate with?""""
Now, sometimes my genetic code takes over. Sometimes my Spiritual frame shoves in and takes over. Some days it is all just all me.
I wonder. Some days I know the place exists. Somewhere in Ireland, I have no doubt.
Where we see the ocean waves crashing against a shore we can get to to play there at the edge when things are calm. Where we are up closer to the sky, mountainous ranges, full of wood and trees, but with good grazing pasture land as well.
A place where I can have my ocean, my mountains, my forests-a good distance from people crowding in and encroaching...where there is good land to keep the livestock well-fed and where we can grow our gardens til our hearts are content.....
Tell me where....I am ready to go....
Now...that aside....isn't her jewelry just incredible??
New Wishes To Be Made
It's Wednesday and you know what that means here:
Wishcasting Time!
Funny, before I read everything for today, I had one single clear thought in my head after I read the wish question for the day....
then I read Jamie's wish--and I tell you, she really does read my mind--or else we are just too like-minded. :-)
The wish on the table this morning is:
What's frivolous treat do you wish for?
Funny thing is-I really love those shoes in her picture-after drooling over some beautiful ankle high black high-heeled boots recently......
please don't get me started on boots....or shoes....please....please....please....
:-)
I've been doing good clearing out stuff and getting rid of stuff--and I know I am about to start another round of what can I donate today too.....
one day I might have to hire someone to do that in my kitchen...but not today......and that is not a frivolous wish either...that one is sincere....
Yet-I digress-I am good at it.....
My frivolous treat wish--I wish I wish I wish
for a day at the spa...I couldn't take much more than a day....but just one day....once in awhile....
relaxing, waxing, mud baths, massages, pedicure, manicure.....more....
a reason to do nothing but walk around in a nice fluffy white robe.....all pampered and secure......
come out smelling like roses...hehehe...
that one is just me...feeling as if I smell like roses....
which is funny in a way-because when I saw Jamie's wish, my first response after she 'took' mine was how can I wish for the same thing...now i have to come up w something...what would it be.....
my wish would be for someone to come in and plant the side yard full of rose bushes....climbing roses, hedge roses, arches of roses, all over. My side yard is bigger than probably my little backyard and my bigger front yard put together...and there was no landscaping when we moved in last fall....what's there now I planted a couple months ago and it's all baby twigs sticking up here and there....but if I could.....lots and tons and more of roses growing everywhere.....
one of these days....not in this yard...I will have that....
So, that's my wish--and my back-up wish too. :-)
Hope your day is smashing. :-)
Wishcasting Time!
Funny, before I read everything for today, I had one single clear thought in my head after I read the wish question for the day....
then I read Jamie's wish--and I tell you, she really does read my mind--or else we are just too like-minded. :-)
The wish on the table this morning is:
What's frivolous treat do you wish for?
Funny thing is-I really love those shoes in her picture-after drooling over some beautiful ankle high black high-heeled boots recently......
please don't get me started on boots....or shoes....please....please....please....
:-)
I've been doing good clearing out stuff and getting rid of stuff--and I know I am about to start another round of what can I donate today too.....
one day I might have to hire someone to do that in my kitchen...but not today......and that is not a frivolous wish either...that one is sincere....
Yet-I digress-I am good at it.....
My frivolous treat wish--I wish I wish I wish
for a day at the spa...I couldn't take much more than a day....but just one day....once in awhile....
relaxing, waxing, mud baths, massages, pedicure, manicure.....more....
a reason to do nothing but walk around in a nice fluffy white robe.....all pampered and secure......
come out smelling like roses...hehehe...
that one is just me...feeling as if I smell like roses....
which is funny in a way-because when I saw Jamie's wish, my first response after she 'took' mine was how can I wish for the same thing...now i have to come up w something...what would it be.....
my wish would be for someone to come in and plant the side yard full of rose bushes....climbing roses, hedge roses, arches of roses, all over. My side yard is bigger than probably my little backyard and my bigger front yard put together...and there was no landscaping when we moved in last fall....what's there now I planted a couple months ago and it's all baby twigs sticking up here and there....but if I could.....lots and tons and more of roses growing everywhere.....
one of these days....not in this yard...I will have that....
So, that's my wish--and my back-up wish too. :-)
Hope your day is smashing. :-)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Working My Own Way Through Things
We received a world map in the mail from doctors without borders (please look them up - they are a worthwhile organization).
As soon as I saw the map, I knew I had ulterior motives for co-opting it. I just wasn't sure what.
Today, comprehension is dawning
This is what it looked like before:
This is more of a during shot. I wanted to cover the entire back over. My original idea entails folding this thing up and sticking it in my art journal, so I can go to my journal and open the book, open the map and voila-huge thing in a small space.
As I keep going, I am thinking maybe more may be done on the back-but don't quote me on that til it happens....
I used my standard favourite navy blue acrylic paint for this and an old 1 inch paint brush. All I did was smear the paint everywhere-all over my hand too...but I didn't paint my hand on purpose--really. I am too tweaky about my ring. However, to note, acrylic paint does come off of sterling silver and i didn't really have to scrub. Much. :-)
Then I flipped it over and covered up all the words on the map side. Then I flicked the brush, gave the appearance of some sort of wave confluence all over the map.
I took a blue fine sharpie and sloppily traced around all the continents and major islands, simply because I wanted to be certain the land masses showed up after all was said and done.
Then came the final coat of white tempera (poster) paint--which I applied with my brayer, cause I have seen alot of that lately on various blogs and I thought it was too cool because it never dawned on me to use the brayer for that before.....
Now the plan is to draw on the thing....I have had images of the whole "you are here" thing in my mind for days since before that map arrived at the house.
We'll have to see what happens and where this Muse-and my drawing abilities, if they can keep up--take us.....
As soon as I saw the map, I knew I had ulterior motives for co-opting it. I just wasn't sure what.
Today, comprehension is dawning
This is what it looked like before:
This is more of a during shot. I wanted to cover the entire back over. My original idea entails folding this thing up and sticking it in my art journal, so I can go to my journal and open the book, open the map and voila-huge thing in a small space.
As I keep going, I am thinking maybe more may be done on the back-but don't quote me on that til it happens....
I used my standard favourite navy blue acrylic paint for this and an old 1 inch paint brush. All I did was smear the paint everywhere-all over my hand too...but I didn't paint my hand on purpose--really. I am too tweaky about my ring. However, to note, acrylic paint does come off of sterling silver and i didn't really have to scrub. Much. :-)
Then I flipped it over and covered up all the words on the map side. Then I flicked the brush, gave the appearance of some sort of wave confluence all over the map.
I took a blue fine sharpie and sloppily traced around all the continents and major islands, simply because I wanted to be certain the land masses showed up after all was said and done.
Then came the final coat of white tempera (poster) paint--which I applied with my brayer, cause I have seen alot of that lately on various blogs and I thought it was too cool because it never dawned on me to use the brayer for that before.....
Now the plan is to draw on the thing....I have had images of the whole "you are here" thing in my mind for days since before that map arrived at the house.
We'll have to see what happens and where this Muse-and my drawing abilities, if they can keep up--take us.....
Elizabeth
I told you about the e-course I am taking from Artella?
"Making Change With Your Muse" is the name of the course.
As with all things, I have to wait for my Muse to really whack me into action. So many things have to do with timing.
Today is the day when I finally pulled everything together and finished my doll.
I started with the clay forms.
Chose one as the right one for this project.
Found a face for her.
Attached her face. Waited a few days for the glue to settle and cure.
Today, I pulled up pieces from an old destroyed quilt and a cashmere sweater accidentally felted.
Her name is Elizabeth. It says so right by her head.
There is a layer of pink felted cashmere as an underskirt. Then two layers of ratty old quilt as her dress. Tied with a piece of caron simply soft yarn. The number of knots to tie the yarn are significant-at least to me.
I cannot tell you for sure, but I think the pink felted cashmere around her head is more of a wimple. An, yes, it does seem to be blowing in the wind, doesn't it. :-)
No wings for this angel. But that doesn't mean she can't fly.
:-)
"Making Change With Your Muse" is the name of the course.
As with all things, I have to wait for my Muse to really whack me into action. So many things have to do with timing.
Today is the day when I finally pulled everything together and finished my doll.
I started with the clay forms.
Chose one as the right one for this project.
Found a face for her.
Attached her face. Waited a few days for the glue to settle and cure.
Today, I pulled up pieces from an old destroyed quilt and a cashmere sweater accidentally felted.
Her name is Elizabeth. It says so right by her head.
There is a layer of pink felted cashmere as an underskirt. Then two layers of ratty old quilt as her dress. Tied with a piece of caron simply soft yarn. The number of knots to tie the yarn are significant-at least to me.
I cannot tell you for sure, but I think the pink felted cashmere around her head is more of a wimple. An, yes, it does seem to be blowing in the wind, doesn't it. :-)
No wings for this angel. But that doesn't mean she can't fly.
:-)
Friday, May 22, 2009
What A Girl Wants-After Hours
She wanted her hair dyed red for her birthday today.
It's although better than the black hair dye she has been clamoring for for years.
There were a couple spots the dye didn't reach, despite my vigorous attempts otherwise. They aren't big. They aren't bad. And they really are so E. :-) But did they all have to be on the same side? :-)
She is very happy, despite the blonde bits, which are covered by hair hanging over them most of the time. She's good. Which means I am happy too.
She is however upset this red will not be staying there til she grows up though. :-)
If only it were that easy, eh? :-)
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