At least with the flame picture...I know now what it is missing....
First, some build up. The original drawing was made weeks and weeks ago, in the midst of wanting to burn away some of the garbage hanging around and in my life, made before the network and I parted ways, made before the miscarriage, all of that. And the hand-drawn burning pile of ... stuff...sat here, tucked in between folders, on my computer desk, waiting for me to feel the urge to pick it up...and just finish it...
The spirit forms--or as I often catch myself saying, the spirit dolls, fleeing the flames (if you will) came to me a couple weeks before I actually dug through my hand-made paper collection (neatly, ha ha, stored in a laundry basket of all things).
Then, after fighting doing it for 3 days, and really wanting that extra laundry basket out of my bedroom room (since i had grabbed it not long after I finished the drawing itself in the first place, for a whole other reason I never remembered after dragging it out--I think it had to do with a hand-made book I didn't make yet--I made something else instead)--for the final time--I drew out the doll form template and then set to cutting out pieces of paper. There were alot of other papers I had wanted to use...but for some reason I only cut out a few. After I painted over everything and you could no longer see the gorgeous patterns or textures or colours on the dolls, I realized why I had held back...I painted all over everything. I had thought at first the thickness of the paper would make the dolls stand out more...but nope...so I used an ultra thin sharpie to outline them...but that didn't really go over well, because of the glitter and the thickness of the paint obscuring where the doll forms started and ended...some of the lines were...choppy. So I pulled out my fine sharpie (and it really is fine since I use it so very much for darn near everything at times) and outlined them again without a hitch.
Gel medium is alot of fun though. That's the day I had so much fun w the gel medium. And the flames were so much fun to paint...I couldn't help myself. I wanted to go bigger with this piece, which is why I went to the canvas...even though the paper and the canvas are the same size. I have to get over my fears enough to start somewhere...and I had a 9x12 canvas ready and waiting...so that's where I went.
Now, I am a member of the Serpentine Road journey...which allows me to also be a memeber of the Hestia's Hearth. Both of which I am so very grateful to belong to..even though I sort of forgot about Hestia's Hearth in the midst of everything else....until yesterday...
I have alot of 'stuff' related to dealing w Hestia--I just haven't sat down and written it out. Long have I dealt with Hestia at my hearth. Long has she had a place laid out special for her at my table.
I was sitting here last night, after the boyfriend left (WONDERFUL day w him yesterday...him and dd both...). It was nearly 2a before I got to bed. He left closer to 1a. Sometimes I can't sleep until I know for sure he made it home. It's not that he has to call or email or anything. I just know when he gets home and then I feel better. I have a need to know he's safe. But as I started to lay down myself, it dawned on me. The issue I am having with this picture is not the picture. I have tried to come at it from every angle. Do I need to add say dragons, or wisps of something else, something ethereal? Nope. I have pondered the sketching in of small koi or something throughout the flames. No good. None of it feels right. I have gone to bed several nights in a row telling myself I would wake up knowing what this picture lacks so that I could fix it before the small girl awakens for her day....and I have awoken with not a darned thing relating to that picture. Until last night (this morning?) when it dawned on me--there is nothing else the picture itself needs ...but it is waiting for something...for its own story....
and I have had the bits and pieces of said story floating like so much ash in the wind at a bonfire around in my head for the longest time. I have simply not made the time to sit down and discuss things w that side of my brain.
I have a few other things to take care of today...but there is no reason why I cannot find and draft this story out before I retire tonight. :-) I think that is the plan then.
I'll let you know how it turns out. :-)
