Thank you to everyone who wished me well over the week-end. It was rougher than I thought -- but in the end I pulled through. I have felt like spun glass in the process of shattering for over a week now.
Hopefully, that part is over and something else can now happen. New growth after pruning away the old stuff.
I basically took the day off today. Last night I went through another Deep Session, on too many levels. And I felt the need to recuperate.
Which apparently meant getting up at 6a and scanning ebay for polymer clay molds--which is what I did.
One Session recently I was told to focus on my doll-making (DUH!) -- but They gave me a direction. Spirit Dolls. With whom I have so much in common. :-)
Yesterday, on our little weekly errand jaunt, we got to go to Michael's -- so I bought clays, and a face mold, and some Oriental kit because it was too Geisha for me to by-pass it. I also got a 50% off coupon that starts 4/5-and I am sending R to pick up the 8 pound block of white clay once the coupon is valid.
Some days I forget myself. I bought key charms for no real reason. They weren't on the rack in the right place, and that so not small nor quiet voice in my head was saying--you need these, you need these. And I am thinking, yeah, right, me listen to the Crow? Think not! Somehow they ended up in my basket, and then in my bag, and are now sitting on my kitchen table waiting for me to come play with paint and glue today.
Last month I found a terrific source for molds on ebay-during one of my what sort of octopus do you have moods: CrowsNestStudios
They have a Gaia form that I saw when I ordered my octopus mold that I really liked--but decided not to get at that time.....but this time-I got that and a few other things as well. I am not familiar with molds much at all. The ones I have were the flexible kind. It hadn't dawned on me until my octopus mold arrived that there might be other sorts of molds. These ones are inflexible, which is rather cool. I did a little bit of internet recon and figured out the best way to use these molds--and I think I am going to be ok with them. I really hope so, considering how many of them I ordered.
The interesting thing that came up with this was the TYPES of Spirit Dolls I will be making. Not just Spirit Dolls, but Healing Dolls, Transformational Dolls. Now, I have a large Frida Kahlo-loving-streak which lead me to investigate the Mexican arts somewhat (I am no expert at all) and I have an affinity anyway for the Day of the Dead. I ordered two skull molds. I have already begun to have visions of the dolls themselves. I don't know what I am going to do or how I am going to do it. But already the dolls are singing to me--which for me means I am in a great deal of trouble--in a good way. :-) I have some butt-kicking Muses--and they do so love to kick mine.
One thing I am enjoying though, along with my Muses great confidence in me and my abilities, is that as I am looking up these molds, and examining different clays (air dry, oven bake, kiln fired) and pondering the best ways to procure said clays, I am noticing the distinct directions in which I am being led. Eventually I see I will be creating my own faces, perhaps even my own molds. But there is alot of sculpting waiting for me in the very near future. I can see myself molding little bodies from clay and baking them, before painting and embellishing them. I can hear the stories--I can hear the singing. I am terribly glad I have Guides and Muses and Friends who support me as much as they do--someone has to believe in me when I cannot be there to do it for myself.
The other thing these Muses of mine are pushing is a return to my drawing and sketching, Yes, I have been putting it off. After being told for so long that I suck, how am I supposed to get over all of that enough to actually believe that even if I just try I might be somewhat decent? Much less as good as these bozos keep telling me I have the potential to be? So, what really do I have to lose? It's not like i have a great deal invested in what most people think of me anyway--only the scattered few. :-) I did order the companion book to the first Monart book I have. I had thought there was a video, but alas, there's seems to not be one. I am a visual learner--I learn faster by watching it done. Then I go research everything else about it so I can improve upon what I have seen.
It doesn't help that I go into Michael's, and after wandering through the jewelry and beads, and staring disconsolate at the clays and other things, I go stare with longing and near desperation in front of calligraphy pens and prang markers and charcoal pencils and reams upon reams of drawing paper--for no real reason as I can't really do that much yet. I often wander etsy staring at other people's artwork, wanting to buy something, just because I want to support the artists out and because their work speaks to me. Other than the fact that I have little money, my Guides, raucous beasts that they are, keep yelling that the artwork I am GOING TO DO is going to outshine alot of what I am seeing and alot of the things of which I am envious. I fail to believe this, but have decided, for good or not, I am putting my faith in these nuts.
Which, all in all, translates into I am putting my faith in myself. For some reason it is easier if I lay the blame on someone else though. :-)
At least I am in a much much better space today. I still think my throat may explode--from of much moving through and wanting to be said--but I least I think it is ok for me to be happy.
There are still alot of weird other-worldly tendrils streaking through my brain like tentacles of jellyfish, stinging me and drawing blood if I merely brush up against them.
I think for today I will put them to rest.
I have bushes to plant. Keys to paint. Dolls to create. Their stories to write. And enough of my own 'stuff' to write up later.
More to come.
Showing posts with label ebay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ebay. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A Bad Bad Girl
Yesterday I had a day.
You know I don't have a car, right?
And I love my best friend, really I do, but I have no real desire to drag him all over the place any time the mood suits me to go looking for something. I look things up online first, then I start co-ercing him.
He's easy and he's fun--but that's another story for another day. :-)
Usually I prefer not to have to make him drive all the way out here to take care of me unless I absolutely have to.
And I have been trying to ween myself away from etsy. It's not easy, since I have a storefront ready to be set up and opened. That's been made worse by the encouragement I am getting from all over about my knitting--and the fact that I now know for certain I have sable where my yarn is concerned. I am under oath and under order to knit (and crochet and whatever) all my wonderful fantastical yarn up into things to sell at my fastest and earliest convenience (and of course I have not yet hit my want to knit alot groove thing either)--and not to buy anymore yarn--at least until I can adequately identify the majority of yarn I have currently closeted up in the boxes in the storage room--and using the yarn as house insulation does not count. :-) I guess I won't bring up the untapped yarn reserves I have in my attic in the form of the old sweaters in need of recycling, huh? :-)
In order to avoid etsy, I go to ebay. Of course. My idea to redo my bedroom closet and the storage area's hanger bar--didn't work. Certain plastics apparently do not take very well to being frozen and thawed during a winter in an unheated storage unit. So, I had to go looking for options. Throw in my overwhelming desire to own more earth shoes -and a trip to ebay was such a perfect solution.
Now, I have a pair of ultra-low rider jeans coming in (special for the bff--there is a reason yes)--two pairs of earth shoes and one is a pair of mules--I had to toss my favourite mules after the first move here (as the rental truck experiences will now be called move one, move two and move three consecutively) due to damage--they were cheap pleather, and had a stacked 3 inch platform--and the x hated them because he's so short anyway and I was about 6'2" in them--I hated to toss them and kept them as long as I could. I've been missing having mules to wear. Sounds lame, but I love them for some reason.
A hanging rack for clothing, because what I found was better made and roughly $25 cheaper than a trip to target. A shoe rack that holds thirty pairs of shoes--now hold your breath--my sister will not believe this--I don't think even with the two new pairs coming that I will have thirty pairs of shoes, even including my boots. Yeah, I go from hundreds of pairs of shoes to under thirty. I am sure it's close to thirty though, counting the boots. :-) And the funny thing is all the loafers I own. Like six pairs of loafers. It's so weird. I like loafers, don't get me wrong. But overall loafers and me do not appear to go together. Of course, I do have 4 pairs of platform sandals. Hahaha. I love boots and live in them all year. I found the earth shoes on ebay looking for a new pair of moccasin boots--which I did find and did not yet buy, because I want real mocs, not something with plastic on the bottom. Real flexible leather all the way around, top and bottom. No sole except the leather itself. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find that?? I have been looking for over ten years now.
Anyway, there's my storage room issues --at least the big ones-- taken care of. I still have 2 boxes of detritus to go through--papers, art bits, who knows what stuffed in where. That comes--later today actually. I guess. :-)
I believe I will be getting the two bookcases for my bedroom, although my dearest son may not like what that means to his pillow pit. :-) Just not sure on the whole when though.
My latest copies of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass came this week too (or rather the week of our return--I am still off on timing) and E watched them yesterday. I didn't realise the one was a musical. I am not sure that's a good thing or not. E asked me if we had the cartoon Alice (disney version)--and I'd been putting off ordering it--until yesterday. Now I can say it's mine and I bought it for her--the best of both worlds. lol
It was late at night though, when the real desire hit me.
See, earlier this week (last week--work with me), things happened--and I now get to get a new tattoo. I cannot yet say why, since he reads this blog at random and I don't want the real reason revealed to him til I have the ink under my skin. BUT--Chinoise here gets to get a Japanese tattoo. One of these days I am going to do the research. I do not think the Japanese ever did the foot binding thing. I have dreams--every time I touch that man I get the imagery--a bushido warrior (which means he has to be Japanese, right? --I can see his armour--it's Japanese styled) following the little Chinese princess (or whatever royal) as she totters through the dust on her golden lilies, banished from the castle and yet protected by this man for all their lives.
I have two Chinese characters on my body. Now, keeping in mind my feet still show portents of having worn golden lilies, and I won't go into detail about how when I was younger I would cry for wanting my feet bound so badly.....and I don't mean 8-9 years old either. My Chinese symbols are ankle-tats. Well, teh one is higher than ankle, but same area, same difference, fairly much.
Anyway, because of something my friend and I did together, which pulled out a strand of thread from the web of life (long long story here--talk about past life issues), and changed the courses of several issues. I knew then I was going to be getting a tattoo--and I knew why immediately. Most of my tats mark something somehow. And every important man in my life is marked by one of my tats. I get to push back getting my decorative om for this one. I had an idea of what the new tat would be before I went to bed that night, before he even left the house, but I went to bed asking to be shown what I should get and being able to remember when I woke up in the morning.
What I originally wanted was the entire Bushido code--but since there seems to be some discrepancies as to 7 or 8 and other possibilities--I decided the best thing I could do was take the core and apply it. So, bushido. Japanese kanji letters. In a rather prominent place--which I was not expecting. Although I was not in charge of the tat placement this time. Do you know how hard it is to get even someone like my bff to 'give me ideas' as to where a tat like this should go when he isn't sure there's not an ulterior motive?? He did come through quite well too.
Although there is no real way for me to prepare and plan clothing to wear for where this tat is going. And this is going to be even more weird, but I hope I don't get pregnant until the tat heals completely, even though it is only an outline and it will be small-ish.
Hmm.
And I went here why? Because I finally ordered my sumi-e books last night. Alot of the past life stuff is twirled up when we enter that region. Chinese. Japanese. But I am so so strongly drawn to the black and white, the utter balanced off-balance imagery, the sheer simple beauty and perfection found in sumi-e.
Yeah, I keep pushing off my drawing classes and then buy these books. :-) That's me. Yes.
Ok, small girl has awakened and is now demanding. Nothing in particular. She's just demanding. So I am off to see what trouble I can keep out of today.
Peace.
And thanks for listening to the ramble there........
You know I don't have a car, right?
And I love my best friend, really I do, but I have no real desire to drag him all over the place any time the mood suits me to go looking for something. I look things up online first, then I start co-ercing him.
He's easy and he's fun--but that's another story for another day. :-)
Usually I prefer not to have to make him drive all the way out here to take care of me unless I absolutely have to.
And I have been trying to ween myself away from etsy. It's not easy, since I have a storefront ready to be set up and opened. That's been made worse by the encouragement I am getting from all over about my knitting--and the fact that I now know for certain I have sable where my yarn is concerned. I am under oath and under order to knit (and crochet and whatever) all my wonderful fantastical yarn up into things to sell at my fastest and earliest convenience (and of course I have not yet hit my want to knit alot groove thing either)--and not to buy anymore yarn--at least until I can adequately identify the majority of yarn I have currently closeted up in the boxes in the storage room--and using the yarn as house insulation does not count. :-) I guess I won't bring up the untapped yarn reserves I have in my attic in the form of the old sweaters in need of recycling, huh? :-)
In order to avoid etsy, I go to ebay. Of course. My idea to redo my bedroom closet and the storage area's hanger bar--didn't work. Certain plastics apparently do not take very well to being frozen and thawed during a winter in an unheated storage unit. So, I had to go looking for options. Throw in my overwhelming desire to own more earth shoes -and a trip to ebay was such a perfect solution.
Now, I have a pair of ultra-low rider jeans coming in (special for the bff--there is a reason yes)--two pairs of earth shoes and one is a pair of mules--I had to toss my favourite mules after the first move here (as the rental truck experiences will now be called move one, move two and move three consecutively) due to damage--they were cheap pleather, and had a stacked 3 inch platform--and the x hated them because he's so short anyway and I was about 6'2" in them--I hated to toss them and kept them as long as I could. I've been missing having mules to wear. Sounds lame, but I love them for some reason.
A hanging rack for clothing, because what I found was better made and roughly $25 cheaper than a trip to target. A shoe rack that holds thirty pairs of shoes--now hold your breath--my sister will not believe this--I don't think even with the two new pairs coming that I will have thirty pairs of shoes, even including my boots. Yeah, I go from hundreds of pairs of shoes to under thirty. I am sure it's close to thirty though, counting the boots. :-) And the funny thing is all the loafers I own. Like six pairs of loafers. It's so weird. I like loafers, don't get me wrong. But overall loafers and me do not appear to go together. Of course, I do have 4 pairs of platform sandals. Hahaha. I love boots and live in them all year. I found the earth shoes on ebay looking for a new pair of moccasin boots--which I did find and did not yet buy, because I want real mocs, not something with plastic on the bottom. Real flexible leather all the way around, top and bottom. No sole except the leather itself. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find that?? I have been looking for over ten years now.
Anyway, there's my storage room issues --at least the big ones-- taken care of. I still have 2 boxes of detritus to go through--papers, art bits, who knows what stuffed in where. That comes--later today actually. I guess. :-)
I believe I will be getting the two bookcases for my bedroom, although my dearest son may not like what that means to his pillow pit. :-) Just not sure on the whole when though.
My latest copies of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass came this week too (or rather the week of our return--I am still off on timing) and E watched them yesterday. I didn't realise the one was a musical. I am not sure that's a good thing or not. E asked me if we had the cartoon Alice (disney version)--and I'd been putting off ordering it--until yesterday. Now I can say it's mine and I bought it for her--the best of both worlds. lol
It was late at night though, when the real desire hit me.
See, earlier this week (last week--work with me), things happened--and I now get to get a new tattoo. I cannot yet say why, since he reads this blog at random and I don't want the real reason revealed to him til I have the ink under my skin. BUT--Chinoise here gets to get a Japanese tattoo. One of these days I am going to do the research. I do not think the Japanese ever did the foot binding thing. I have dreams--every time I touch that man I get the imagery--a bushido warrior (which means he has to be Japanese, right? --I can see his armour--it's Japanese styled) following the little Chinese princess (or whatever royal) as she totters through the dust on her golden lilies, banished from the castle and yet protected by this man for all their lives.
I have two Chinese characters on my body. Now, keeping in mind my feet still show portents of having worn golden lilies, and I won't go into detail about how when I was younger I would cry for wanting my feet bound so badly.....and I don't mean 8-9 years old either. My Chinese symbols are ankle-tats. Well, teh one is higher than ankle, but same area, same difference, fairly much.
Anyway, because of something my friend and I did together, which pulled out a strand of thread from the web of life (long long story here--talk about past life issues), and changed the courses of several issues. I knew then I was going to be getting a tattoo--and I knew why immediately. Most of my tats mark something somehow. And every important man in my life is marked by one of my tats. I get to push back getting my decorative om for this one. I had an idea of what the new tat would be before I went to bed that night, before he even left the house, but I went to bed asking to be shown what I should get and being able to remember when I woke up in the morning.
What I originally wanted was the entire Bushido code--but since there seems to be some discrepancies as to 7 or 8 and other possibilities--I decided the best thing I could do was take the core and apply it. So, bushido. Japanese kanji letters. In a rather prominent place--which I was not expecting. Although I was not in charge of the tat placement this time. Do you know how hard it is to get even someone like my bff to 'give me ideas' as to where a tat like this should go when he isn't sure there's not an ulterior motive?? He did come through quite well too.
Although there is no real way for me to prepare and plan clothing to wear for where this tat is going. And this is going to be even more weird, but I hope I don't get pregnant until the tat heals completely, even though it is only an outline and it will be small-ish.
Hmm.
And I went here why? Because I finally ordered my sumi-e books last night. Alot of the past life stuff is twirled up when we enter that region. Chinese. Japanese. But I am so so strongly drawn to the black and white, the utter balanced off-balance imagery, the sheer simple beauty and perfection found in sumi-e.
Yeah, I keep pushing off my drawing classes and then buy these books. :-) That's me. Yes.
Ok, small girl has awakened and is now demanding. Nothing in particular. She's just demanding. So I am off to see what trouble I can keep out of today.
Peace.
And thanks for listening to the ramble there........
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