General Update

            Ok.  So I think I am understanding why I set up the other blog.  I have a mentor on hand at the moment who is trying to help me get my business and my professional life sorted for better…actualization of my plans?  For lack of any other description than that at the moment.  I am withholding judgment and a good many other things until I am certain of anything.  But, hey, at least we are moving forward here.

            Speaking of moving….we looked at houses this weekend.  We spent Sunday afternoon perusing a few open houses, with E in tow.  The original intent was to get a feel for what we (bf and I) are both after in a home together.  Well, we found an incredible house that we both love.  Three acres of land.  A fenced backyard for the dogs.  Tons of room inside.  A fireplace.  An incredible kitchen.  A wooden deck out back.  Ah.  At least the bf is checking into the viability of us actually getting this house.  We already have an offer in mind.  Money to put down.  Plans for the basement and so many other things.  It’s beautiful.  And if not this one, then there are plenty of others out there just waiting for us. 

            I have been running on a lot of energy from others lately.  Haven’t really stayed my own course through.  Too many what ifs and assumptions going on in my world.  Things are never dull here.

            I watched Underworld the Rise of the Lycans Sunday night.  Well, ok, so for a lot of it I was asleep on the bf’s chest w the girl curled up against my legs, but I got the gist of things.  I really like this movie.  I am impressed with it, very much.  I would like to point out that Sonia was blonde in the Evolution film, and far more pregnant than she was in this one, but overall, this was an excellent flick, in and of itself, and it tailored itself in nicely to the other two movies.  I really like that.  Some of the characterizations were off just a touch, but not enough to really set my teeth on edge.  I do like the trees in this movie, of all things.

           

            Which leads us to another segue here…upon recommendations and amazon reviews I bought Alwyn Crawshaw’s Ultimate Painting Course…I need more than this book offers…I was looking for something particular and this book isn’t it, although it is a very good book, please do not get me wrong—there is a lot of information to be had in this book….one thing I got from my original skimming of this book is the decide what you want to paint…decide your favourite subject….mine is trees.  The second I paused on that section of the book to read it, I knew.  Trees are my thing.  Not ‘landscapes’ or forests or anything so..vast..or maybe so typical…but trees.  Individual trees.  With their gnarled twisted branches and vast array of branches off shooting from other branches.  I saw an amazing tree this weekend…you could not see the tree for all the vines and ivy crawling up and over the thing…it had already dropped all its own leaves, but was green from root into the branches from its symbiotes.  Or parasites, depending upon how you look at it. 

            I also watched the Other Boleyn Girl.  Now, I have studied Queen Elizabeth.  I studied her sister Queen Mary, barely, but still.  Mostly in regards to Elizabeth and not really into her own life or times.  I have also studied Mary Queen of Scots.  I have never really delved into the complexities of Henry’s court or anything of that nature.  I did not know Anne’s sister bore the King a son, much less a daughter.  I knew only on the periphery that someone had bourn the King a son.  I’d never researched farther into it.  This movie was very well done.  I love the way things came together.  I love the way things were portrayed.  As annoying as I found the view points often shown through the walls and barriers, I understand that is how court was held then.  Someone was always listening.  Someone was always watching.  Be it maids or servants or other royals.  There was always someone there, even at the privy box door.  I was not all together certain of Eric Bana  pulling off King Henry—but he actually did a terrific job.  Although all I have been able to think since the end of that movie was they called Anne a Witch—because her uhm girly  bits had the power not only to change one man’s religion, but to change an entire country’s religion in the process.  She changed the world by the power of her girly bits.  Such is the power of girly bits, people.  If you know how to use it, you can control the world.  So it has been writ the universe over since the dawn of time.  However, I do think it is time to invest some study into the machinations of that court prior to Elizabeth….I love this sort of thing.

            My son ‘reconstructed’ one of my journey dolls for me this weekend,  Funny thing is, it was something I myself had wanted to do, but couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I think now she is even more lovely.  He broke off one stick, the one that was much longer than the other.  Now they are about the same length.

            I must do research on kachina dolls.  I will reveal more of the project later on, but I need to make two bodies for kachina dolls.  I am not making the heads/masks.  Only the bodies.  Hmm.  Very interesting.  I have been looking for something to push me to buy the armature wire I have been wanting, to try out some of the ideas in my brain…..

but which avenue do I go?  Traditional kachina…or my more …known…safer…spirit doll body methodology….research research here we come….

           

            I have also been asked to knit (or crochet) something for a friend.  She offered to pay for it, but I will not hear of that.  I need to go stash diving in order to pull the yarn, but this is going to be fun.  J  I love things like this.  Maybe I will be able to finish the other project I have had in mind for this friend…for months now…I’ve even started several times only to frog it every time.

            Does anyone have a good recommendation for a toe up sock pattern book?  Now that I am so proud of myself over the Turkish cast on, I want to make the bf socks.  He’s going skiing in Feb and I am supposed to knit him some ski socks.  I have no clue what that means yet, as I plan to take the man to a couple yarn stores to check out yarns before I commit to anything yet.  My red Venus doll, which is what started this entire process, is coming along quite well, in my opinion.  I am eager to see how she looks once she is finished….I still need to figure out what I want to do with the Kali Ma pattern.  I know I want to make her…I just have to do it.  Still wish there were a Sri Ganesh pattern available from the same designer.  I love her patterns.  I have four or five now.  Even though I have only finished one doll from the patterns I’ve bought.  I shall have to research toe up sock patterns and books in a bit as well. 

            I have pulled information and prompts from another writer’s group I am supposed to be a part of and haven’t really done too much with lately.  I shall begin posting prompt session from them as soon as I am able. 

           

            When I sat down last night and began to go through the ‘assignments’, it dawned on me that other than planning things for the NaNoWriMo project, I have not been in control of the topics of which I have been writing lately.  I have been working from prompts and more prompts.  This is not a bad thing.  I am writing.  I am just wondering at the path I am currently taking, wondering if I am setting myself up for something else down the road.  We’ll see.  I am writing and that is good enough for me at the moment.

            Speaking of prompts, I am off to see the textyladies for Talkative Tuesday.  Plus, I do need to rewrite last week’s prompt as well….

            TTFN….

New Doll In The Works

This is her in a really rough draft stage...she is currently awaiting some beads and wiring....

Doll Discussion

I finished creating an Oak Spirit doll last night. When I went to bed, I thought I would get up this morning and add some sewing to her cloak. Not embroidery per se, just random stitches.

When I woke up this morning, I went to her and spoke to her. Which is what I do. I had to ask her if she needed or wanted anything else.
No. She doesn't. She's very happy.

She's wearing a traveling cloak. All my dolls seem to be Journey dolls.

Originally, Oak Spirit was just a stick, a stick with an agenda, since I kept dragging that particular stick all over the house with me, whenever I planned to have anything doll oriented around. There she was. She sat on my personal altar I don't know how long, just a stick, not really saying much at all.

I cleared and cleaned and re-consecrated my altar this week. There she was. A stick. She spoke up then. She asked for something then. The next day I wrapped her with this funky wool novelty (no other name for it) yarn I have a clump of sitting here on my computer desk, staring at me. I wrapped her body and tied it on.

The next day, I pulled a polymer clay face from the tin I keep the ready to paint ones in. The face sat here on top my computer, nowhere near the stick. I painted the face that night and let it dry.

The next afternoon, face and stick met, with the aid of some gorilla glue. Never shall they part again.

She sat here, for two days. It seemed to me she was done, nearly naked little thing that she was. Last night, I took the remnants of my favorite birthday yarn and wrapped it around the upper branches, more like a crown than hair.

She sat for a few hours more, humming softly to herself. It was rather lovely.

Then, when I determined I would get some housework done before bed, she spoke up. She asked for wool. I have that pile of sweaters waiting to be turned into a blanket, so I went digging. Found a lovely piece of felted grey wool, with roses.

I ended up using some to wrap around her body, to provide bulk under the cloak. Then I put on the cloak. Wrapped some more of the funky yarn around that. Cut the fringe into the bottom of the cloak.

I set her aside, planning to sew the edge of the cloak along the side edge or whatever the next day, and I went to bed. I did see then that she was ready to travel. I noticed. I did not ponder it, however. I simply accepted it as a matter of course. I was tired. I needed to sleep.

This morning, I took a look at her and I knew: she was done.

She's ready for her Journey.

I wonder where she's going to go.
I wonder where she's planning to take me.

Dolls.

I always worry about using glue on them for some reason, even though I use such tiny amounts.

Someone once made a negative comment to me about a person who used glue in a certain sacred project--and that malice haunts me when I create my dolls. I need some other materials for my dolls, I know. I would be happier with various mosses.
My oak stick comes from a tree that was blown down by a storm. My boyfriend helped clear away the debris and he brought me some of the smaller branches. He's good that way. I hadn't even asked him.

I need more things of this nature. I know I do.

I think my current dolls are trying very hard to tell me something. These ones are not for sale. At least, not yet anyway. I am not confident enough in my skills, nor do I feel as if I have found that certain Space from which these dolls come for other people.

I will have to spend more time talking w Oak Spirit especially. I wonder what she will have to say.

I will post pictures of her soon...as soon as I am willing to sit down and work with my camera. I need to photograph a bunch of stuff from my Wreck This Journal 'project'. It is no longer a journal--it's barely a stack of papers held together with a rubber band at this point....

Until next time...

The Girls

Now awaiting names.
Now everything is dry and solid and sewn on and reinforced and everything.

Tweedledum

I actually worked on this one first.

Tweedledee

I really did the same thing I usually do. I turned my brain off and said-what do you want. My hands moved and I figured out what I had done afterwards.

Tweedle needs a new name and a story. But at least she and her sister are now officially done.

Next dolls are really going to be different. I know what I want now.

Faces

Isn't it hard to believe they came from the same mold?

These are the faces for Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
The faces have been glued to the bodies--although I must find a better adhesive for this part.

I am still pondering over the rest of the form. Bodies are done. Faces are good. So much more to do. In this case, less is not more. It's empty.

Key Dolls Done

I so wish I could re-find that website that gave me the idea to use keys to make spirit dolls. The woman used old latex house paint to dip the keys in--and then she hung them from the trees in her yard. It was spectacular.

I did a little bit more and I am looking forward into turning these little 9 faery dolls (as my dd has since told me they are) into a hanging mobile.

Update

Thank you to everyone who wished me well over the week-end. It was rougher than I thought -- but in the end I pulled through. I have felt like spun glass in the process of shattering for over a week now.
Hopefully, that part is over and something else can now happen. New growth after pruning away the old stuff.

I basically took the day off today. Last night I went through another Deep Session, on too many levels. And I felt the need to recuperate.
Which apparently meant getting up at 6a and scanning ebay for polymer clay molds--which is what I did.

One Session recently I was told to focus on my doll-making (DUH!) -- but They gave me a direction. Spirit Dolls. With whom I have so much in common. :-)
Yesterday, on our little weekly errand jaunt, we got to go to Michael's -- so I bought clays, and a face mold, and some Oriental kit because it was too Geisha for me to by-pass it. I also got a 50% off coupon that starts 4/5-and I am sending R to pick up the 8 pound block of white clay once the coupon is valid.
Some days I forget myself. I bought key charms for no real reason. They weren't on the rack in the right place, and that so not small nor quiet voice in my head was saying--you need these, you need these. And I am thinking, yeah, right, me listen to the Crow? Think not! Somehow they ended up in my basket, and then in my bag, and are now sitting on my kitchen table waiting for me to come play with paint and glue today.

Last month I found a terrific source for molds on ebay-during one of my what sort of octopus do you have moods: CrowsNestStudios
They have a Gaia form that I saw when I ordered my octopus mold that I really liked--but decided not to get at that time.....but this time-I got that and a few other things as well. I am not familiar with molds much at all. The ones I have were the flexible kind. It hadn't dawned on me until my octopus mold arrived that there might be other sorts of molds. These ones are inflexible, which is rather cool. I did a little bit of internet recon and figured out the best way to use these molds--and I think I am going to be ok with them. I really hope so, considering how many of them I ordered.

The interesting thing that came up with this was the TYPES of Spirit Dolls I will be making. Not just Spirit Dolls, but Healing Dolls, Transformational Dolls. Now, I have a large Frida Kahlo-loving-streak which lead me to investigate the Mexican arts somewhat (I am no expert at all) and I have an affinity anyway for the Day of the Dead. I ordered two skull molds. I have already begun to have visions of the dolls themselves. I don't know what I am going to do or how I am going to do it. But already the dolls are singing to me--which for me means I am in a great deal of trouble--in a good way. :-) I have some butt-kicking Muses--and they do so love to kick mine.

One thing I am enjoying though, along with my Muses great confidence in me and my abilities, is that as I am looking up these molds, and examining different clays (air dry, oven bake, kiln fired) and pondering the best ways to procure said clays, I am noticing the distinct directions in which I am being led. Eventually I see I will be creating my own faces, perhaps even my own molds. But there is alot of sculpting waiting for me in the very near future. I can see myself molding little bodies from clay and baking them, before painting and embellishing them. I can hear the stories--I can hear the singing. I am terribly glad I have Guides and Muses and Friends who support me as much as they do--someone has to believe in me when I cannot be there to do it for myself.

The other thing these Muses of mine are pushing is a return to my drawing and sketching, Yes, I have been putting it off. After being told for so long that I suck, how am I supposed to get over all of that enough to actually believe that even if I just try I might be somewhat decent? Much less as good as these bozos keep telling me I have the potential to be? So, what really do I have to lose? It's not like i have a great deal invested in what most people think of me anyway--only the scattered few. :-) I did order the companion book to the first Monart book I have. I had thought there was a video, but alas, there's seems to not be one. I am a visual learner--I learn faster by watching it done. Then I go research everything else about it so I can improve upon what I have seen.

It doesn't help that I go into Michael's, and after wandering through the jewelry and beads, and staring disconsolate at the clays and other things, I go stare with longing and near desperation in front of calligraphy pens and prang markers and charcoal pencils and reams upon reams of drawing paper--for no real reason as I can't really do that much yet. I often wander etsy staring at other people's artwork, wanting to buy something, just because I want to support the artists out and because their work speaks to me. Other than the fact that I have little money, my Guides, raucous beasts that they are, keep yelling that the artwork I am GOING TO DO is going to outshine alot of what I am seeing and alot of the things of which I am envious. I fail to believe this, but have decided, for good or not, I am putting my faith in these nuts.
Which, all in all, translates into I am putting my faith in myself. For some reason it is easier if I lay the blame on someone else though. :-)

At least I am in a much much better space today. I still think my throat may explode--from of much moving through and wanting to be said--but I least I think it is ok for me to be happy.
There are still alot of weird other-worldly tendrils streaking through my brain like tentacles of jellyfish, stinging me and drawing blood if I merely brush up against them.
I think for today I will put them to rest.
I have bushes to plant. Keys to paint. Dolls to create. Their stories to write. And enough of my own 'stuff' to write up later.

More to come.