This Is The End

Ok--I have actually moved to the new blog now:
I Am Still The KnittingJourneyman

It is still not 100% up to date -- but I am posting there regularly now... and will be posting there exclusively from now on.

Come join me. 

New Post Up

I am slowly moving things over to wordpress, so I can keep the continuity of everything I do.

Feel free to follow me over there.

Here's a link to the first real post...

Of course, the actual first post was more of an introduction.  See it here.

 Now, please do keep in mind, I do not have the new blog all set up as yet...but I am getting there.

I will probably post notices for the next week or so on this blog, and then everything will be on the new blog...just so you have warning!

Thank you!

Boy's Birthday

            I love rainy mornings.  Today is nippy and damp.  No rain as yet, but it is plain to see that it fell overnight.  I woke up early, because R’s alarm did not go off.  Not that that is why I woke up; that’s just the first thing I heard this morning, him telling me the alarm did not go off, after he finished with his shower.

            Today my son turns 7.  Seven.  I so am not going there right now.  If I start down that path, I’m going to boo hoo all the way to Atlanta and back…and I do have no desire to go to Atlanta these days (sorry, GA…no offense…you’re just not at my backdoor anymore…and the trip is a b*tch to make in high heels…)

            What did I accomplish yesterday?  I threw myself into a near asthmatic fit trying to find my doll face molds….I cannot stay in the basement for more than 5-10 minutes at a time.  And even then, I have to make sure I have taken my allergy pills before I descend, unless I am working on laundry.  Still, every trip downstairs has its repercussions.  It’s the rabbit hay…when my throat started to close and one eye nearly swollen shut, I decided then it was time to flee the basement and hit the showers…and try to calm my brain down enough to breathe.

            I never found my face molds.  I even looked this morning.  R says they are in a box.  Yeah.  Ok then.  Good luck with that.  I will go later today and grab a new mold, or a stamp, or something…

            What did I find? 

            Wow—did you know I used to paint?  On actual canvas?  So it is not exquisite canvas or anything…but I have two paintings, small 9x12in pictures, that I painted myself.  One is a collage and not for sale…if I remember correctly it was my first playtime with modeling paste.  It was also a dreamboard too, if I remember…it’s not right here with me, so I don’t know what I wrote on the back.

            I found a big stash of sewing supplies.  After assembling my sewing kit into one big place (which I still haven’t written about…yet) , I was sort of whiny because I had lost just so much stuff.  Now, I knew I had my scissors all together, but still packed away...but I found stashes of needles and of sewing notions, of measuring tapes and safety pins.  I have yet to find my original stash of safety pins, but no harm there.  They weren’t the good coil-less kind, so I’m fine.   

            I found so many things last night—not anything for which I was looking, but hey.  I found my other two spirit dolls…so now I can take pictures and have them up on the blog…Kerry the Glass fairy sparked a couple ideas about having online portfolios of my work…so there I need to go…

            I found some of my drawings and scribbling (as in pictures, not text).  I am thinking I may be ok at this sale in November.

            I got up this morning, feeling ever like the mermaid struck a bargain and now living on land, fighting every ounce of everything just to be able to move—don’t worry—once I get moving, everything is ok, except the pain in my feet…I took an allergy pill on an empty stomach—not always a bright thing to do…and went downstairs to shovel through some boxes.  Did I find my molds?  Nope.  I did find some stuff for the kids, some of the dream catchers my mother made, some examples of my key dolls that I plan to make for the sale…I am feeling well enough about that now.  Although I don’t really want to part with the one 9x12in painting of the tree…I think I really do need to bite the bullet and have some of the merchandise in my brain made up and offered for sale…

            What else did I do this morning?  Well, I did not finish seaming N’s Captain America sweater yet… I am not happy w my seaming.  There is the real reason I have hemmed and hawed and waited so long to seam the thing.  I did find the star for the chest last night during my basement search…the sweater will be done before N gets here this evening…

            I still need to wrap everything.  His blanket is not done, nor will it be.  However, my boy gave me the solution to my three skein dilemma the other day when we were all at hobby lobby, last Monday.  He does love to help pick things out.  While we were there, he handed me two balls of yarn, one red and one white.  I asked him what I was supposed to make for him with them and he said I don’t know.  Well, I put those two back, since I was only there for the yarn for his chain maille sweater…but the idea kept sitting there.  I know I have white red heart super saver in my stash…actually it’s more of an off-white, but still.  The second color stripe on his blanket is off-white.  His blanket will be white and red…and I know that will make him happy.

            Add into that I am now more determined than ever to find a dvd of finishing techniques for my knitting.  No wonder I prefer to work seamless items…to the point where I won’t even bother contemplating seamed projects, unless I feel a need to re-write the pattern for myself in the round…and so far, I have plenty of seamless patterns to choose from.  Writing it out for  myself is superfluous.

            His red chain maille sweater…I made the mistake of working on it while I was tired…I need to frog about 6 rows, and since I am wimpy about doing it…I’m stalling on that.  Not that I ever thought, not after Wednesday anyway, that I would have it done in time for his birthday or anything…but still….

            I need to run to the store yet.  N requires a red chocolate cake for his birthday.  We fluked into red icing at the store the other day—so woo hoo.  I keep thinking red velvet cake, red velvet cake…but I am thinking N won’t like red velvet cake…so I am making a combination of the two…plus lots of cupcakes….We’ll see how it goes.  I have to grab a red velvet cake mix.  The chocolate portion is already done.  That and I need to run to a different store to grab … doll face molds…I have a 50% off coupon for michael’s and I am not afraid to use it!

            And with that, I am going to get back to work…because I still haven’t even wrapped the boys presents yet…so…ciao…

New Moon On Wednesday

Yes, I know it's Thursday...I am of course running behind, on all things...

      The September New Moon was yesterday.

It is time to meditate, to brood (like a hen) over a new crop of ideas…do the ideas really have to be new?  Or can I take my perfectly usual ideas and fluff them up a bit, set them back up on the pedestal and work harder this time around in order to achieve these goals?  I like that image…these ideas, turned into goals…and letting the work begin.

Where do I want to direct my energy?

Home.  My Home.  OUR Home.  Capital H.  Some days, I wander around, wondering if I really belong here, if I really fit in here.  I am the airy fairy artistic type.  I have warned R about this over and over.  I will never be conventional.  He knows that—he knows me.  It does suck to date someone you’ve been such good friends with for 11+ years…the man knows my moods and my behaviors better than I do some days…it is disconcerting.  Be careful what you wish for…I wanted a man who ‘got’ me, who understood me…yeah, well, now I have one…and it can be very …painful, annoying, aggravating, etc…when he points out he recognizes my actions and knows what comes next based on my past relationships…and I can’t quite get the point across to him…or to myself…that no matter how nuts I am or how estranged I get, the one huge difference is I do not want to leave this relationship, I have no desire to end this relationship, and nothing in Heaven or Hell or anywhere in between is going to destroy this relationship.  It’s just getting over my guilt, after all we went through as friends, much less as lovers, living here again…without shoving all of his stuff aside and feeling as if I am completely taking over…among other things…

Home.  Energies directed towards Home.  Turning house into Home, Our Home.  That includes organizing, building things like shelves, putting up mirrors and pictures, mopping, vacuuming…nestling in…nesting…on a whole other level.

                              (c) 2010 T Webber

Funny.  Home is the first thing that comes up.  It really does mean so much to me. Home with a capital H.

Next is my art.  Drawing.  Painting.  Sculpting.  Today I need to find my molds and make some doll heads.  I decided that I am making key dolls for the craft show in November.  I still need to pull out some of the alpaca fiber I have and see what I can do w that in regards to my dolls as well.

The one doll head I sculpted by hand that I love so much…I can’t find it.  I can find the other three that didn’t do a thing for me, but not the one I love and want to use as a template.  They were all together on top the dresser…now, who knows?

I had such an epiphany not too long ago, while reading America Knits by Melanie Falick.   The piece in there about Katharine Cobey hit me, hard.  Hard.  Knitted sculptures.  Wow.  I knew I wanted to move into other fields…I still yearn for the day when I get my blow torch and plenty of metal with which to play…but Katharine’s work really touched me.  Enough that her recommended reading list is now part of my going to buy list…except that I already own quite a bit of what’s on her list.  She has a new book coming out soon, Diagonal Knitting.  I am excited about that.

Now, I have been to art galleries and whatnot that had knitting on display…the last one I remember were knitted bowls without a bottom that ended much like jellyfish tentacles, all suspended from wires and entwined with one another.  It’s been four or five years since then; that really is all I remember, other than my sense of utter awe that someone would knit art…that knitting could or would…or SHOULD be considered art…

My epiphany revolved around the whole…I can do this.  I can open up and explore this avenue of/for artwork.  I believe it was the Ritual Against Homelessness that really caught my eye, but there were so many other things as well…the Portrait of Alzheimer’s is another that I simply fell in love w instantly…

I am being drawn to books like Kitchen Table Entrepreneurs and Crafting A Business all over again…I believe my counseling work is important, but there is another realm, another facet to my life that is just begging me to reach out and grab it…and I think they are all combined with one another.  Spirit inhabits everything I do…I simply have to embrace that and express it more fully, more completely…

            I have the skills.  I have the talent.  I have that mind-numbing nerve-wracking terror of…success.  That is what I need to overcome, right there, fear of success.  How does one do that?

            Kerry the Glass Fairy, my divine and utter Muse, worked so long and so hard to get me into craft shows…over a year she asked and suggested and recommended…then again, if either of us had been more prepared we would have split a table at Pagan Picnic this year.  I allowed that break-in at the house across the river to hinder me for far too long…

            And there is a boom! Gotta do it!  Right there.  Pagan Picnic.  Time to select a booth size and reserve that table/space…ohmygosh…I am serious about this….wow.  I don’t think it occurred to me how serious I was until right that moment.

           

            Now, I am not planning, necessarily, to make a new dream board this Full Moonhttp://jamieridlerstudios.ca/full-moon-dreamboards…did you know that the Full Moon and the Equinox are on the same night this month?  I am still happily working with my last dreamboard…but then again, I may make a much smaller one for this month…I feel more ‘stuff’ brewing and bubbling…a dreamboard may be exactly what I need to draw that all forth…this is the first time I haven’t said anything about my writing or my counseling work…I am interested to see where the rest of this goes…

A Wish, A Wish

                                                   2010 (c) T Webber   SoulCollage (r) card

What do you wish for less of?

It’s been awhile since I’ve done this, even though I always light a candle for all the other wish-casters every week.  Let’s see if I remember how to do it, shall we?

My wish this week is simple: I wish I had less drama and stress in my life.

Strange as it seems, it is always outside influences that wreak the most havoc.  As in, yes, I worry about my new job.  Yes, I worry about my 9yo’s inherent laziness towards her education.  Yes, I worry about my 7yo, all the time.  Yes, I worry about being prepared for my very first craft show in November.  Yes, I worry about any number of things.  But these are not really the things I need less of…not really.

What I wish is for people to stop trying to interfere, to improve things, to point things out, to involve me, to involve my family, to help, to hinder, to all sorts of other things.

One step back…this is a visual demonstrations.  I forgive, but I never forget.  I hold grudges.  The old guy next door disrespected me once before, a long long time ago and I have never really forgotten it.  I take a savage pleasure in affecting his sense of … rightness…when it comes to our yard.  Our yard.  Not his yard.  I would never do anything to his yard, ever.

We planted azaleas this week-end.  Three little azalea bushes, bought to start the landscaping process at the rental house while I was living there.  Well, since someone else moved in, we decided to let them landscape any way they wanted.  We kept the azaleas here.  Yes, they stayed in their store containers in the front yard all these months, until this week-end.

The guy next door is very precise.  The type that mows his lawn every other day.  Seriously.  His grass reaches 2 inches high and he’s out there at the crack of dawn with his mower (No, he is good.  He does wait until a decent hour.), mowing it down to its approved of one inch or shorter.

We figured out where we wanted the azalea bushes.  We sprayed painted a circle on the ground.  E dug the holes, or she started the holes.  R finished them out with the posthole digger.  We planted the azaleas.  I put horse hay (the rabbits never did like it, so it’s all for gardening now) around the base of the plants. 

I wasn’t watching for the neighbor on purpose; I just happen to catch the look on his face as he walked past our little azaleas.  It was a look of utter disgust.  I don’t know whether he likes azaleas or not, but the hay thing bothers him.  It’s not like I piled hay all up in a big mound, or threw it all over the place.  It’s just an inch of hay, close to the base of the plant, to help maintain moisture and give the plant something to feed on as the hay breaks down.  It’s the bushes, planted out in the middle of the grass, with no bed laid, no real planning.  That is what bothers him.

He never said a word to us.  So far, he hasn’t done anything to the bushes either.  He does trim everything on that side of our house.  We have a forsythia bush there that has been his private domain for years.

This is the less stress thing of which I speak.  Those azaleas may bother the ever-loving bejesus out of the man, but he wrinkled his nose up, kept his own counsel and walked on.  And when he saw me later, he waved and smiled, which for us is conversation.  He actually spoke to me once and I nearly fell over.  He’s the strong silent type. 

I want less stress from other people’s issues…All that just to say that one little thing.  I may not be drama-free myself, but I don’t go inserting myself into other people’s lives simply because I can.  I keep my own counsel, until asked.

That’s it.  Thanks.

This Week--The Week-end--A Little Last Week--Update

Well, I have already lost an hour cleaning out my inbox this morning.  And that is just going through and getting rid of all the stuff I won’t read (too many groups and newsletters, not to mention all the sales ads from various places)…at least my stove top is soaking to remove all the grime from last week when I was too tired to actually do more than wipe at it instead of clean it off well…the dogs are fed and well-petted…the rabbits are going to a new home soon (as much as I hate it, I have to take them to the House Rabbit Rescue, so thank you so much to Rescue people…)…small fry is still asleep, but I am not considering that a bad thing right now.  We’ll be up late tonight, so I am making sure she gets enough rest…we get to go to bowling league w R tonight. 

We definitely did get a great deal accomplished, not only this week-end, but last week as well.

Our composters have arrived…and are in need of being put together.  We should have assembled one this week-end, but we were all tired and raggedy and wanting to just spend time together…so we’ll be doing that Wednesday instead.

We finally planted the remaining outdoor plants, two pampas grasses and three azalea bushes…we also set up our raised bed ring around our tree in the front yard (there is still debate as to what sort of tree it is).  Instead of moving the hostas, since the ring turned out to be smaller than we had thought…although we still could have moved the hostas, we were really too tired to anyway…we planted the chocolate mint in the ring…

That was actually fun.  Both kids helped.  N helped spread the dirt and then walked around and around in the ring to tamp down the dirt…E put the rocks in (crystals I can’t throw away but won’t let in the house anymore) …we found two little green inch worms…I think they may have been on the mint and not on the tree, but they could have fallen off the tree while I was filling the ring with dirt.  I can’t wait until next year to see that ring over full of mint…

This is also the time of year when I am contemplating what other bushes we need to get and get into the ground asap before winter comes.  I know I want mock orange bushes and lilac trees…but E and I have decided we must have lots of flowers, especially sunflowers, after all the birds and butterflies we have seen this year…I may have to set her up an area in the front yard that is nothing but flowers…which for me means bulbs since I usually suck at raising flowers…but we’ll see.

We planted tomato seeds in one planter, the one we were growing garlic in…and though we forgot we did it, since we thought the seeds were old anyway, we now have a tomato plant growing on the front porch, with flowers blooming on it.  In the back yard, although one planter seems to have no more tomato plants, the other planter not only has strong plants, but the plants are flowering as well.  Another planter that had nothing in it that I dumped a bunch of salad seeds into does have lettuce growing in it.  Now that I have the rabbity garden goods growing again, the rabbits are going to go live elsewhere.  Seems rather sad. 

I did get N’s room turned around (so he wouldn’t be sleeping so close to the curtains).  All the extra bedding is finally out of his room…although the chest still needs to be moved yet.  At least all his broken nut cracker toys are on his dresser now (for the record, he breaks the nutcrackers…he loves to open and shut their jaws, but he also loves to remove the lever that you raise and lower to work the jaw…so I don’t think any of his nutcrackers have the levers in the back any more).  He was happy he had his nutcrackers and his bakugan stuff from the holidays last year.  I finally got his stars and his dream catchers up on the wall…now it feels more like his room…even though the closet is not yet 100% his yet.  It is at least progress.

I had my ‘office space’ cleared up…then I went to the library…then I needed to print something.  Now it’s a mess.  One day here soon I am going to have to do something else for a desk.  Technically, I have one waiting downstairs.  I need to finish off that space (and that will be after the rabbits leave).  I have a Green Tara plaque that cannot be hung from a wall that I need to put somewhere…but then if we go there, I have quite a few Mother statues that need a shelf or two…and these are the good ones, like the one from the monks in Italy…sigh…

We did go to lowe’s and look at wood…all we really need to do is figure out what style of bookcase we are going to build…I ordered all the wood-working books (and then some) this morning…I also ordered a wood-workers wooden toys that teach book as well.

We made it to hancock fabrics yesterday…and I am still hyperventilating a bit over that….but for what we bought, we did really well.  They had simplicity patterns on sale for 99 cents each (limit 10) … E found her Halloween costume.  She had been planning to be a vampire this year (N plans to be a vampire as well…) , but once she saw that mermaid pattern, it was all over.  I let her pick out her fabrics, with a little bit of help … and boy, does this kid owe me now.  I also picked up a good 10 yards of muslin so I can play with my one really old dress pattern…OR I can play with my Red Queen pattern…what?  Did you think I would be a mermaid?  I like my knitted mermaid pattern better.  

I bought plenty of supplies for the Glass Fairy’s purse I am making…I have a firm liner fabric, as well as enough matching thread to create a thread horse of epic proportions…I had help.  N helped me pick out thread.  It was on sale…I need thread…so I stocked up.  My original plan was to re-stock my sewing kit, since I cannot find half of it at the moment and haven’t seen it all together since at least 2006…all I need now is a bag or basket to stick everything in…although there are still a few little things I will grab when I get around to it.  Despite how much we spent, I am feeling rather good about things at the moment.

Hancock had mccall patterns on sale for 99 cents each (another 10 limit)…so I got patterns for the kids…well, N changed his mind on his…but E is in heaven.  Why the sudden re-interest in sewing?  Well, last week, I went through my closets yet again and tossed out a whole bunch more stuff…I had this major epiphany not too long ago (that I have not finished writing about yet, which is why you haven’t heard about it) and I found out…I can make my own clothes.  I can knit, crochet, sew…use duct tape and fallen leaves if I so desire.  It doesn’t help that I get stuck watching seasons of America’s Next Top Model (J Alexander’s book Follow The Model is so awesome, I am buying it for E—not for ‘modeling advice’ but for all the solid real life advice) and Project Runway, and so on, as different networks run old seasons during the day on week-days…and sometimes on week-ends.   I am inspired…not to mention, E still says she wants to be a clothing designer when she gets older…so I am trying to inspire her and help her learn different things…like all fabric is not created equal…much like all yarn is not created equal.  Just because it’s pretty doesn’t mean it drapes or moves…or that it is easy to work with…

I finally got my hands on Fairy Tale Knits by Alison Stewart-Guinee.  I had seen a pattern for free when the book first came out…and for some reason I kinda went meh and went on to something else…but with library access and too much time to scan for knitting books via the online library catalogue…I decided to borrow it… I ordered my own copy this morning.  I started the Modern Chain Maille sweater for N for his birthday this Friday.  The kid will be 7—he doesn’t really want anything for his birthday—other than two cakes…his dad has to get him the chocolate cake with chocolate icing—I have to make him the red chocolate cake with red chocolate icing…with no pictures or words on the top…just the cake.  That’s all he’s really asked for…except for the hat he asked me to make him awhile ago.  I started a scarf to match, but frogged it.  I started mittens, but frogged them.  I will make him mittens before too long here.  He likes them.  And probably a dragon scarf too…no clue as to which patterns I will use…yet.

But, I actually got very excited with the book…I am also planning to make him the crown hat, the princess version…the prince version looks too cluttered to me, not quite a crown…but there are other patterns too…they will both love the pirate stuff.  Not to mention, these patterns go up to size 8 (most of them) and they are worked in the round, rather than seamed, for the most part.  I am all about the seamless work these days.  There is a great deal to be done with this book.

I have to decide what sort of blanket to make our friends.  Their baby shower is coming up.  Do I make the normal ultra plush ultra fluffy baby loved and approved blanket that I always make…or do I make something else since we just gave a similar blanket to another couple for their new baby…and they are all friends, so is it impolite to give the same gift, even in different colors, just because they are both having babies, even though I know every baby who has ever gotten one of these blankets ends up loving the blanket to death and then some?  Hmm.  I have a little bit of time on that one…but not that much.  I may let R handle this one.

I haven’t picked up my cotton silk t-shirt this past week.  Too busy trying to come up w something for N.  Same goes for the silver bikini.  I only have about 50 more rows before I bind off the bottoms…but N comes first.  I did pull out my crochet hooks and work one whole panel (that’s one whole skein of yarn, btw) of a blanket just for N in his favorite reds…I am surprised by the lack of red yarn in my stash, but at least I had some…three skeins of red heart super saver.  Here is where I got the pattern.  I love the pattern.  It’s so easy even I can do it.  My crochet skills are rather lacking.  But this is fun.  I am not changing colors; I am simply starting at one end of the skein of yarn and going until I can’t finish a complete row anymore.  I didn’t measure a thing.  To start the foundation chain, I simply worked a chain as long as N is tall, or a little bit more so.  When I first saw this pattern, I had thought it would be a great pattern to make a blanket for our bed…I may as yet do that.

I have a blanket that my grandmother crocheted; my mother said it was the last thing she ever crocheted before Arthur got her for good (Arthur—come on, you know him…Arthuritis…arthritis…).  I covet this thing.  No one is allowed to touch it.  It looks as if it is all single crochet, done on a small hook…two panels crocheted together.  I have tons of knitted and crocheted blankets, most that I picked up at thrift stores or inherited from other sources (as in, this is what I kept after the divorce) , some from my mom that are in the same category as the one from G (no touchy)…but none that I made.  We have small throws I have knitted…and that N has usually pulled and yanked until there are fringes where no fringes should be—he’s very tactile—that I will take full responsibility for—I am extremely tactile as well...but we have nothing really more than a throw for over the back of the couch to keep your feet warm or something that I’ve made.  So, this blanket works really great here.  I may not get it done before his birthday…and I know I am going to need more yarn…one skein of red heart super saver does not very far go with this.  Right now…the blanket looks more like a long scarf…and I have three skeins of red in my stash…I used to have more…but I used it or I gave it away when I went through all my yarn last year…I can’t even find my own coveted maroons either…sigh.  Anyway, I want the kids to have a blanket, each of them, which I made for them.  Knitted or crocheted.  Although I am thinking this month, being National Sewing Month, would be a cool month to sew them blankets…I have a ton of fleece remnants and pieces downstairs.  I may not be able to make huge blankets, but I could make something.  That is totally back burner at the moment.  At least I have started N’s and we’ll see what I can accomplish by Friday.  I have to seam his Captain America Sweater…and decide about the star.  I have to finish the chain maille sweater.   Plus, I have to see about making him a red velvet cake…we’ll have to see.  I know him, the little pain.  Red chocolate means one thing to me and one thing to him.  I have to be prepared…

Today I need to run to the store and buy supplies for my craft show so I can get busy on that.   After I finish some of N’s stuff.  We are going to Branson next week, so I will be able to get a bunch of new ideas…maybe…what I want to do is get back into making my own soap again…but even if I made it today, the soap wouldn’t be ready by November anyway…

All right.  Enough of my own writing for now.  I have to get some work done.

Plans for this week?

Finish N’s birthday stuff.  Hopefully get some things ready for the November craft show.

Four to six articles per day.

Set up sewing kit…and hopefully sewing area.

Unpack and sort through the rest of the old kitchen stuff…yeah…that’s not done yet.  Did you think only books were left in boxes right now?  Nope.

Mop floor in basement.  Kids spilt milk and ice cream down there.

Mop up rabbit area.  I also need to clean out the hay bin before we send the boys away.  *sigh*  I hate to see them go, even though I haven’t been able to go near them for more than half a second in so long.

That covers that.  I have to go…too much to do today and it looks like rain.  I can’t drive in the rain.  Panic attacks ensue.

TTFN….you must think this in the original Tigger’s voice, or it does not count.

Monday Morning, First Thing

            I needed to hang out with some other 8-9-10 yos this week-end to really see how far behind E is.  Ok, I am more lax than I thought…and Waldorf pedagogy only goes so far to explain why we are so far behind.  A new crack-down is happening—thank goodness R is here—otherwise, E honestly would have to go to school…although I am not ruling out Montessori at this point—and Montessori is in her future.  As soon as I can find a good one that I can afford—that isn’t too far away.  Yes, yes, I know—criteria.  At least E has been put on notice and at least things here will be changing.  For that, I am very glad.

            And again---grr that I cannot get to the books I need…that too is becoming less of an issue as I spent a good bit of time re-arranging the basement last night.  I have a small little office area set up already … I have access to my yarns, to my fabrics, and now to my clays.  I can reach my paints, as well as my ATC papers and some other things drawing related.  I need to do three things…clear off the downstairs table (it has machines and boxes on it) and find all the pieces to my sewing machine (can’t find the cords at the moment)—and find a way to plug everything in down there when I need it plugged in.  Otherwise, we have to bring things upstairs to use them, the sewing machines, the serger…which is not as bad as it seems there either.

            September is National Sewing Month.  It seems very apropos to break E’s sewing machine out and get her going on that.  Knock on wood.  It’s not as if we don’t have patterns and fabric for her to play with downstairs.  And—I know where they are too.

            Goals this week:

 Write and submit two to four articles every single day.  (Thank you, Michele—more on this later).

Finish bikini bottom and start bikini top.  I have fifty rows of garter stitch left on the bottoms before I can bind off and seam everything.  I am actually very excited about this.  Not to mention, as I was reading over the bra pattern yesterday afternoon, I discovered a Yoga version of the top written at the bottom.  I am not sure which I plan to do now…I think I shall stick with the basic pattern first.  If I like it, I will make the Yoga top version.

Set E up her own blog—which will be available only by subscription.  I want some caring adults (Kerry) to be able to read her blog and offer criticism and pointers, suggestions.  Not to mention, I want to get some discipline instilled in her, not merely as a writer, but as a student.

I must check to see if I have the right yarn for the Hawkins House project.  I have a few more ideas, both knitted and otherwise, that I need to run down.

Decide if I am going to frog the baby blanket I have had OTNs for months and months now (for the twins) or finish it.  I am leaning towards frogging it even though we have friends in need of a baby shower gift coming up in September…but really it wouldn’t take all that long to finish the blanket anyway.

Cast on my friend’s birthday present.  I can’t find the original pattern I used to make my own shawl/wrap/scarf thingy (great name, huh?) –but I can wing it…and it might not be such a bad idea to wing the pattern anyway…even though it is nothing like the original pattern.  I do so prefer to be safe.

Find rabbits a home.  This is so mandatory at this point it is not even funny.  We switched from the knock me on my butt/knock me out allergy pills to a once a day type—but the new stuff doesn’t really work all that well.  Even though I am setting up the basement as a work space, with the rabbit’s downstairs the workspace isn’t applicable until I can get the air quality settled and ---mold? Or whatever free.  Good news is we are finally coming back down to the bottom of the hay bin…so this time I won’t buy hay until I clean that sucker out really well.  But R keeps reminding me, the allergy was there even before I had the huge reactions to it.  So, even as I say we can clean things up on one hand, the other issue is still likely there.

R set up the desktop pc last night.  Today I have to find out what it needs to get it to run and to see if it will run E’s new program.  Plus, I have to remind R we are going to Micro Center tonight so we can get hardware to update his computer.

Set up E’s excel sheet (thank you, Chott family)…her chart on her bedroom door is obviously not clear enough or detailed enough, so R and I are borrowing another family’s idea; we are setting up a fairly detailed excel sheet of chores and schoolwork assignments for E.

Having said all of this, let me also say things are moving along nicely on my t shirt sweater.  Even though I am working on size 7US needles and was expecting the progress to be very slow (compared to the tanks I’ve been making on 10 ½ US or 15 US needles), I am actually very impressed with the way things are moving along. 

            I have been holding back on casting on my seamless yoke sweater, only because I have so many other projects OTNs…but it shouldn’t be too much longer now before I cast on for that.

            BTW, the zombie doll came back this week-end.  Pictures will be put up on ravelry soon.  Now the poor little thing has arms, thank goodness. 

            Remind me—I actually need to block and seam N’s birthday sweater.  We had to go to hobby lobby this week-end to grab the yarn for the rest of his birthday ‘stuff’—his matching scarf and mittens to go with his hat.  I have the pattern saved in my ravelry queue for the mittens.  The scarf…it may look simply, but I am actually going to improvise this one, as I have not seen one like the one I am planning.

            My only other thing today is to clear off my work space and the dining room table…I could use a bookcase close to my desk, but that’s not going to happen—no space.  I’ll have to see what else I can do.

            And now…on with the show.

My August Moon Full Moon Dreamboard

                                               

            I knew the Full Moon was coming.  I could feel it.  I love that feeling some days.  Then again, there is nothing I love better than moon-bathing anyway.  I am not a sun person.  I have always belonged to the Moon.

            I didn’t officially know it was the full Full Moon until this morning, but yesterday morning I was already planning what I wanted to do for the Full Moon Dreamers DreamBoard.  I did not plan to work on a collage.  I still have plenty of work to do with my last collaged dreamboard.  It took me a bit of time to figure out what I wanted to do, but I decided I would take a picture for my dreamboard.  No drawing, or painting, or collaging or anything else.  One simple picture.

Here it is.

Now, I am sitting here at my computer while wearing a t-shirt that I knitted myself, in just a few hours, on Monday night.  It’s not as amazing a feat as it seems; I knitted it on really big needles.  The point of the matter with this t-shirt is I made it.  I made it myself…and I am wearing it.  I love it.  It is actually something I will wear in public and will be happy and proud to say, yes, I did make this myself.  It is that cool for me. 

It’s the whole process behind this little t-shirt that has me jazzed.  I did not wake up in the morning on Monday thinking, I am going to knit myself a t-shirt today.  What I was thinking was I have to make time to set up different accounts for various things, start applying for different things, get my butt in gear.  I was thinking I would have to make time in the evening to work on my silver bikini set that I am knitting.  What happened was I reached a stopping point with my applications processes, so I started looking for something to do with this amazing yarn we had picked up over the week-end while we were out at a festival in St Charles.

Farmhouse silk Blend, four skeins, in two different colors.  It isn’t enough, I don’t think, to make an entire sweater (although it might be and I am too inexperienced to realize it), but I could make something, like a tank top or a short sleeved shirt of some kind with it.  So, I spent a great deal of time on ravelry, gorging myself on patterns and knitted glory.  What happened while I was perusing the pictures and patterns on ravelry was too much of a coincidence for me to be comfortable.

As I went through all these patterns, I found out how many of the patterns I thought were cute and doable that I already own…because I already own the books…I just didn’t realize it…my books are still in boxes, still being stored.  That’s my life.  I have everything I need—I just don’t know it/realize it—and I need to bring it out, unpack it and make use of it.  Right now.

This t-shirt is a case in point.  I was TICKED when I found out how cute and how SIMPLE this pattern is to make. (It was that much worse to find out when I first bought the book, I had marked this same pattern to do later on…)   I took an allergy pill, went into the basement, and started to dig through the boxes of books, trying to unearth some knitting books.  I was successful.  I found my copy of Loop-d-loop…and I was thrilled to find out I actually have the correct yarn on-hand with which to knit this project.  I cast on about four or five times before I got it down and got it right…then I went to town. 

This t-shirt, the one I am wearing, is my prototype.  I made it on big needles so I could get a feel for making a top-down seamless raglan sweater without having to stress over thin yarn, little needles and days and days of effort hoping it turns out.  When I made this current t-shirt, I was thinking all along, if it doesn’t fit me, then my 9yo daughter will love the fact I made her a brand-new shirt.  There was no way to lose there, unless I really screwed it up.  I didn’t screw it up.  I am now addicted to top-down seamless sweater construction.  I cast on for my second t-shirt, using the thin yarn and the smaller needles, last night.

Better yet, even working top-down t-shirts counts towards my goal of knitting a bottom-up seamless yoke sweater.  It’s the process.  I make something on large needles…I gain the confidence to go back and do it again on smaller needles…which gives me the confidence to try doing the same thing, only different…

This is me.  This is my life.

I am totally afraid of screwing up, of failing, but I can fail.  I’ve been failing all my life.  Failure is no big thing.  You screw up.  You fail.  You fall.  You get up.  You dust yourself off.  You try try again.  I fell down a rabbit hole a long long time ago.  Every time I think I have crawled out of the rabbit hole, I find myself lost in the warren some more, climbing out of one hole only to find myself on another level, with another hole waiting for me to climb out of it whenever I am ready…but I never seem to find that final resting place, that ahhhh place, where the climbing and the crawling all end.  I wonder why I won’t let myself have that?

So, my Full Moon DreamBoard Picture today is all about ACTION…as in I am honestly actually in the process of DOING…I am knitting my t-shirt…I am knitting my bikini…I am writing and being paid to do so…I am creating…I am living…and I am loving it.

Maybe I am meant to remain in the rabbit hole.  Maybe I genuinely like the rabbit hole, and have merely failed to recognize that fact.  I have a whole new bunch of theories about ‘loving the one you’re with’ and ‘being happy with where you are’ –and they all revolve around what utter garbage that is…because that is called SETTLING…and I have settled my entire bloody life…and I am sick and tired of trying to make silk purses out of pig’s ears and then feeling bad because I failed at making silk purses. 

I will make my own purses, not from pig’s ears, and not made of silk…well, ok, except for the purse I have been commissioned to build and create for my lovely friend the Glass Fairy…but she bought the fabric, so that choice was not mine.  That’s a good thing though.

I will have my cake, which I will make myself, and I will eat it too…and of course, I will share it too.

The Ending Of The Great House Rabbit Experiment

            Well, as much as I hate to admit it, and since right now I can only see clearly out of one eye due to the hay allergy, the house rabbit experiment has failed.  Not because of the rabbits themselves…but because of the hay issue.  Whatever is done to the small animal timothy hay is costing me too much.  I had another allergic reaction, a much smaller one, this past week.  Which means I took allergy pills that knocked me out all day…and then kept me off-balance the rest of the week-end.  It’s not as if I haven’t developed the habit of taking an allergy pill every morning either—because as much as I hate it, I have been.  I switched allergy pills after a trip to the store this week-end—but these ones make me feel bad in a totally different way.

            Personal baggage alert:  in order to be able to enter the building for SBC operator services in Ft Smith, AR, I had to take high doses of allergy pills…I was not the only one…it was an on-going epidemic back then (late 90s) … so I hate allergy pills unless absolutely needed… and feeling the need to pop a pill every day single just to stay even and not feel so terrible…needing to pop a pill just ticks me off on too many levels.  I have worked so very hard to make sure I use nothing but herbs and natural healing methods…and now I have to pop a pill every morning again. 

            Then again, since my one eye is nearly swollen shut from the hay allergy…with little pockets of …it’s not hives around my eye or else the allergy pills would have taken care of it…but there are small pockets of fluid around my eye –as of last night…so…despite my best efforts and my strong desire to make sure the buns had really good homes to go to before we got rid of them…I don’t necessarily think that is going to happen at the moment.  At this point, it may become I have to dump them at the rabbit rescue as fast as I can…and be done w it…which really kills me.

            I have issues w people who get pets and then find out they don’t work and dump them off on other people, or dump them off on the rescue agencies…we have one friend whose daughter just got her own place…the daughter has had seven puppies in the past year…and just got a new one…and no, she does not have seven or eight dogs; she only has one at a time.  I hate feeling as if I am that type of person, even though I am trying so hard to get through this allergy…even though I wanted to make sure the buns go to good homes…even though I don’t want to feel as if I am throwing them out in the cold and turning my back on them…which is how I feel at the moment…but in the end, it still comes down to my health is very compromised at the moment due to the whole hay issue…so I cannot continue along this path.  Plus, I have to have a rapid solution.

            House Rabbit Rescue is already over-run w all the buns they’ve been saving from breeders and other sources lately—I hate to add to that problem…but at this point, I really do not have a choice.  Not to mention, as much as I like to joke about Simon being called Dinner now—they live in the house—they are pets—they are not food…so having them become meat bunnies is not a viable option.

            Worse yet, I think if we could move them outside…my allergies would be ok…but it’s summer…and we have no place to put them …no place where they’d be protected from predators, the heat and the sun, or even other rabbits at this point…because our backyard is riddled w wild rabbits…they don’t even try to hide the entrances to their den under the shed anymore…domestic rabbit poop does not frighten off wild rabbits…no matter how much we try…

            So, if you want two adorable neutered 7 mo boy angora buns…with cages…and fences…and food and hay and toys and cardboard boxes and feeders and waterers and everything else…email me asap…I just want them to go to a good home...

            Next time I do bunnies, they will be outside buns…unless I find a solution to the hay issue…and if I don’t and it is not just something with this small animal timothy hay…then my whole plan for my future is toast and I have to find something else to do w the rest of my life… because all of a sudden, the future looks dreadfully empty ….  Let’s see if I can save these two first; then we’ll move on as we can.

Rebuilding Plans For Yet Another Tank

            So, this morning I decided to wear my green ribby tank that I knitted myself.  It is number three in the ribby tank series with which I am now deeply involved myself.

            I am extremely proud of myself for having knit this thing up actually.  Even though one cup is a couple rows longer than the other…the tie part really does off-set that enough so that is is not all that horrible or noticeable.

            I like this tank.  I like this fabric.  I like this style.  I like the whole thing (minus the mistake with the cups…)…which of course is why I continue to make them over and over again.

            Yes, I did start the bikini top yesterday…I do have one whole cup finished.  I started the second cup…but kept casting on the wrong number of stitches…so I frogged it out and went to bed…I haven’t had a chance to work on it yet today—but I will.

            Now, here I am, wearing my green ribby tank, and enjoying it…and marveling at the fact that I did this myself…and that I am about to cast on for my seamless yoke sweater…any day now…really…and that I have the ability to knit myself an entire wardrobe…if I set my mind to it…and if there is no time limit on that…

            I have new yarns meant to be used for the next ribby ribby…and as I am wearing this one (because my favorite one out of alpaca and cotton is STILL too warm to wear at the present moment…), I have some ideas as to how I would like to rebuild the next tank.

            First of all, I am not going to be knitting the size 36…I think the size 38 will be larger enough…if not, the version after that will be made in size 40.  My hips are considerably larger than my waist, by a good ten inches or so…I want the next tank long enough to hit about halfway down my hips…much as this green one does…but without me feeling a little bit of a tug when I reach the end of the stretch of the cast on edge where it won’t stretch any more.  I will still cast onto to needles a size or two larger; that really helped a great deal with this green tank.

            I would also like more stockinette stitch before the cups again…the transition between ribbing to stockinette stitch to beginning of cups falls at about nipple level…and I would prefer it fall below my breasts.  I know it doesn’t need to do so; I merely think it will look better.

            I cannot stand the cups curling in the way they do.  I did slip the first stitch of every row, and yet they curl in so…more on the outer edges (towards the arm pits) rather than the inner edges (cleavage area).

            I would like to recreate the mistake I made that caused the dead center stitch for the cups to open up in both direction…it honestly looks as if nothing is attached to it, no bind off stitch, no nothing.  I actually like that.  I really hope I wrote down what I did to screw that up; it’s a mistake worth making again.

            Next time, I am sewing the ties down in back.  No more tying behind my neck…I tend to catch my hair when tying it…plus I feel better not needing to tie it.  Just a personal preference thing.

            After I finish the bikini top, before I write out my sweater pattern, as I am still contemplating the yoke design, I do believe I will cast on for another ribby tank…this time, using two strands of worsted weight yarn…as well as the above adjustments.

            Can’t wait to see how that turns out.  Can you?