I did not realize last night was the Full Buck Moon. For some reason, I had it in my head that this past Saturday was the Full Moon and that I had therefore missed the opportunity to make a Full Moon Dreamboard along with Jamie and the other Dreamers. Lucky me, I didn’t miss it. I landed smack dab in the very heart of it, eyes wide shut and prepared to dive feet first off the cliff into the watery abyss that is my subconscious.
For a couple weeks now, I have been planning this dreamboard. Not the images. I had no clue whatsoever what images I was going to use, even after I had them gathered and ready to go. I didn’t give thought to direction or color or …anything at all. I have three different sizes of poster board downstairs. Until the moment I grabbed a larger piece last night, I could not have even told you what size I was going to make this board. What I decided early on though was that 1-my brain is too cluttered and I needed/wanted my subconscious to speak up and be heard…2-I wanted the message to be very very clear, even if the details were not spelled out…3-I wanted to know what Path I should be taking, what I should be making important in my life and, sort of, how and why. Amazing, huh? Not too much to ask, {sarcasm sign held up here}, when you think I’ve been plotting this for weeks without giving it any major thought whatsoever other than ‘this is what I need and want to know…now fork it over’…
The original intention was to make sure the kitchen table was cleared off …but…that hasn’t happened yet. I brought my art table (a folding table) upstairs and put E on it yesterday to do her schoolwork (rather than on the kitchen table since she is the main source of clutter) in the hopes that she could work better if she were not surrounded but such chaos. Alas, that’s not how it worked out. I had meant to have the art table to my self for my own purposes after she went to bed. Nope. The kid is chaotic…it follows her. The mess was so extensive …notebooks, folders, papers, crayons, markers, pencil shavings…that I decided I wasn’t touching any of it…so I retired to the living room to watch the rest of Season Two of ‘The Big Bang Theory’, which I ordered months and months ago and never got around to watching after moving from across the river, and then moving again into R’s house.
In the middle of the shows, I got up, grabbed three National Geographics from the 70s,(I have five or six laying around just for this purpose-although I have not used them since I bought them nearly 3 years ago) and went in search of poster board. Then I had to find the glue. Since 95% of our stuff is as yet unpacked, those things are not quite as simple as they would seem.
Next, I went through all three magazines and just pulled out what appealed to me. I have enough images left over for another dream board…and I actually think I may use the smaller images to make a monthly plan dream board a little later today, once I am done with my writing and editing and posting that I have mandated I must complete today. This, of course, does not include housework, though it really should. After pulling the images, I went through and trimmed all the images. I set my poster board up across two wooden tv trays and set to work.
I am actually very surprised by how many layers this board has. Layers and layers upon layers. I love that. You can still see pieces of every single layer, but some of the overall pieces that I thought would be telling and visible are barely seeable at all. I cut and trimmed and glued and moved things around and glued some more. When I stepped back, this thing took my breath away. I took the pictures while the piece was still wet.
I had to hang it up, right then. No letting it dry flat overnight or anything. I removed all the other dreamboards from the wall where I keep them. I tend to put one on top the other, not removing the old ones, simply adding the new one on top of the old. With this one, however, the others needed to come down. I put them in a place where their energies would still be flowing and working, but this one needed its own space, all by itself. It had to have room to do its work and to grow and to spread. That’s how it felt last night; that’s how it feels today.
When I woke up this morning and looked over at it (it’s on the wall in my bedroom), this piece took my breath away, again. The colors alone trigger such evocative emotions in me. I see the messages. I get it. Finally. I know which way I am heading. I even have more than a slight idea how to get there—which for me is pretty impressive. Those colors. Wow. I recently pared down my wardrobe to the absolute bare minimum essentials…and these are the colors, for the most part, with which I am left. Stunning.
One task today that I didn’t realize I had set for myself until I was in the process of doing it was to take the picture of the dreamboard and set it as the background on my computer, so that I see it all the time, every day, not just when I am in my bedroom. Not that I haven’t been spending more time alone in the bedroom during the day—I have. I have set myself a little bit of a writer’s nook so I can work on my daily writing practice and my pseudo-morning pages.
Now, I have been working on a new project, as you can see here. It is still in the planning stages, to say the least. I had to write a small blurb about it so I could post it in a public forum, lest I grow cold feet and shelf the project for a year or two. This is something rather near and dear to my heart that I have pondered and thought about and wondered about and looked for from other people for a good five, six years now, if not longer. Ok, fine. I have to admit it. The basics have been swimming around in my brain since the late 90s, when I ordered a Yogananda program. The program packed away at the moment, so I can’t give you details…and of course I do not see this particular program listed on the website anymore. I ordered mine in the 90s—it came with cassette tapes. I saw it a few years later, offered with cds. It was a meditation/ self-realization program. It made a large impact on me at the time, remnants of which are still bound to my body/mind, for which I am truly honored and grateful.
This dreamboard only solidifies my need to pursue this course that much more fully and openly. Keep an eye out. I wrote something this morning, during my pseudo-morning pages (I say pseudo since I program them with a certain topic every day and then basically free write…not the whole unfettered stream of consciousness thing with which Julia Cameron created the concept.)…I need to type that out and post it there today, or quite possibly tomorrow, depending on how things move around here for the rest of the day.
This dreamboard is also actually pushing me more forward with my other creative project, seen here. I have several entries written out and ready to be typed up…but I have been hesitant to draw or to find the photographs I know I have taken that will aid the presentation of these pieces. It’s been so easy to just sigh and sit back and let everything overwhelm me of late…but I am trying very hard to get off my backside, get back in the saddle and really get moving again. I have become very interested in the new goings-on at SoulFoodCafe, as some of the past journeys that have been undertaken by this group are the inspiration for my own personal journey with this blog…
Strangely enough, the main gist of what I take away from this newest dreamboard is in order to go forward you must go back…do not falter in the details (as in stop thinking you need to read and study and go through other people), but rather focus on what you know (as in what your heart and soul tell you, not your brain, nor your personal frame of reference). Be open. Be pure. Remember who you are and how very infinitely strong you are. Remember how many there are who have your back, on this side of the Veil and the other (as in friends and family still alive, and those who have passed on, the Ancestors).
Here’s to a wonderful experience following my Path, going forwards by going backwards, which has always been my own best way. I look forward to sharing it with you along the way.
Peace.
