House Update

            After a really treacherous week, culminating in a bizarre week-end (dealing w my 9yo daughter), I think I made some progress this week-end.

            Last week:  Do not let anything else fool you.  I am still in survival and recovery mode at the moment.  There is still …half a household to sort and unpack yet.  I am doing a little tiny bit every day, most days.  It is a slow integration process.  It’s not just that I pushed myself so hard during the moving part…because overall there were only a couple days when I pushed myself physically … this is mostly a mental …malaise…that whole this is my best friend and I promised never ever to move back in w him again…and here I am again…although as R keeps pointing out, circumstances have vastly altered this time around.  We aren’t just best friends any more…we are so much more…and I am not a room-mate this time.  I am a spouse/mate/partner…this is not ‘his’ house; it is ‘our’ house…and we will make it our home…that’s sort of the issue I am having at the moment.  That whole how do I get over my own issues where he is concerned and turn this place into our place, without disrupting all of his stuff…even though he wants me to disrupt his stuff…

            I had a very interesting experience last week…I’ve been rather vocal about the paring down of my wardrobe.  R has alternated between teasing me to get rid of more clothes to fit the space we have and the suggestion of building me more closet space…well, I took him at his teasing one day.  I went through every single item of clothing I own and ruthlessly sorted and purged things out.  It was not the easiest thing I have ever done.  When I started the process I was sort of ok with things, and sort of resentful…and as I continued, I questioned everything, including if I was doing this for me or for R…I questioned if I should do it.  So much time and money and effort had gone into every single item of clothing…not just in the buying of them, but in the transport of them…I filled another two 33 gallon bags, and another four 13 gallon bags, with another 13 gallon bag only half full full of nothing but clothing…and I am thinking there are still things in the basement that I didn’t find yet that I need to go through.

            No one who has lived w me or who has seen my closets in the past twenty years will believe that R and I now share a closet…and he has the larger half…and all my clothes (except winter coats of course…and my maternity clothes) fit in that one closet…my other clothes all fit in the dressers…sweaters will be going in the closet…it all fits…period.

            What you may not realize is two months ago now I had three closets, two chest of drawers, three small dressers, and who knows what else tucked into odd places…and now I have half a closet, my side of the dresser, and my side of the drawers under the bed and my part of the shelf in the closet…it’s a very different experience.

            I did finally manage to get my jeans down to 20 pairs…and I think maybe even less than that.  I got rid of nearly all the slacks I owned because I hadn’t worn them in so long.  I even tossed out more sweaters…so I am actually down to under 20 sweaters—and this includes cardigans, which can tend to be my weakness. 

            I cannot tell you how long it has been since I have been able to have all four seasons of clothing in one room…and the clothes not be in boxes or in bags for storage during a move…although at first I was quite upset…afterwards the catharsis set in and I felt better and better.  I really like this.  The longer it goes on, the better I actually feel.  That’s…strange…and interesting…all at the same time.

            R started teasing me immediately about the next shopping trip, when I will refill the shelves and the hangers, but I really do not think so.  I think I am good.  I grow more sure of that every day.

                        We had some interesting talks this week too.  Not only are we planning to build a linen closet into the empty space above our basement stairs, but we are also thinking of building at least one room downstairs, if not more…because the idea has been thrown out to have one room for the books and another room as an extra bedroom…we’ll have to see about that yet.  We’ve also talked about opening up the dining room to add a door to the outside and building a patio out into the backyard.  That is kind of thrilling…for me, it means more landscaping…not that I have even really started the landscaping projects around here yet…but I am planning, which means something.  Rose garden here we come…

This week-end, however, we were discussing the possibility of building onto the house…and other than the patio into the backyard, there’s not a great deal of room to build out, but there is room to build up.  This is the omg we just moved and I do NOT want to move again person talking here…both R and I are at the point in our lives where we actually need more land and less neighbors…but we are also willing to do a couple things about that…#1 like buying a vacation property elsewhere (we already know we are buying property in CO) and #2 like buying land here and building on it, or buying the big house w land and slowly moving into it…or chucking it all in and paying someone to pack and load and move and unload everything…at this point, we are both more leaning towards that option…

We also started our family planning discussions this week-end, though they were greatly curtailed by my 9yo and her actions (more on that later)…seems ‘space’ is one of those issues that we will have to deal with when the time comes…which I don’t think it is as bad as R thinks it is…there is a reason that we bought bunkbeds and not just because N loves them so much…we bought them w the intent of the boys sharing a room and breaking the bunks down to regular beds as needed…

Plans.  Our unpacking is often stymied…in order to work on E’s room, we must work on N’s room so we have room to do what we need to do.  In order to work on N’s room, we have to rearrange the living room and parts of the basement.  In order to get to those parts of the basement, we have to organize other parts of the basement…some of which includes selling off certain items (like a waterbed, the waterbed mattress, an electric stove…so on and so on…if you know someone who needs something, let us know…)

We have discovered we need something along the lines of a beer fridge—more like a beer and fresh fruits and veg fridge…or maybe just a beer and condiment fridge…and we both got rid of so much stuff from our fridges before we combined them, but we still lack room all over the place…it’s bizarre.  Luckily, we still have my old fridge out in the shed.  We still plan to go through the main fridge one more time before we do this, but overall, we think the 2^nd fridge will actually be a benefit…and since, now that we live w R, the way we shop and eat and prepare food is different, the whole 2 fridge thing may actually only be temporary as well.

We also have two deep freezes.  One is a small chest and the other a larger chest.  We are planning to combine and condense and use only the larger chest.  Then we can sell the other chest.  First, we need to get the big one down into the basement.  Right now, it’s in the car port…plugged in…working fine…and thank goodness it has a lock, because w my son around, we need one that locks…the little snoop.  N is always on the look-out for popsicles and ice cream.

So much to do…at least we have time…and as much as we feel rushed at the moment, we all know we’re home and we’re good…that goes a long way to making things better when we all get overwrought here.

When Will My House Clean Itself Please?

     A house that cleans itself.  Does that not sound like the most amazing idea you have ever heard?  Bozena Chorazewicz offers up some delectable advise on making your house work for you.  The book she recommends, ‘Make Your House Do The Housework’ by Don Aslett, was published first in what looks to be 1986 (according to amazon) and was revised in 1995.  I am not knocking that.  I am actually amazed.  Do you know many other books written then that would be viable to you right this moment?

     Bozena gives you many suggestions from the book in her post.  Her post made me look around, as I am in the middle of all my ‘radical’ reducing and ponder a few things.

     Radiant heat is awesome.  I’ve been wanting to do it since I first saw it on one DIY network or the other in the mid-90s.

     I do like the whole premise though.  Cut down on clutter.  Instead of floor lamps, do ceiling lighting.  I may actually have to by Aslett’s book to see what else we can come up w to change the way we do things around here.  R and I are both not only into spending less time cleaning; we are also into finding the most green and most efficient way to do things. 

     There are, of course, several pitfalls in our application of making the house clean itself.  One…we have dogs.  Dogs shed.  Dogs track mud into the house.  Dogs roll in things.  Dogs…stink…on a variety of levels…no matter how often you bathe them or brush their teeth. 

     We now have bunnies.  Who also shed.  Who toss hay all over the place.  Who poop…constantly…their poop is round…it rolls…and they run around and kick and frolic and knock the poop all over the place.  Their hay can be dusty too.  Food pellets get treated much as the poop, knocked all over the place.  Both rabbits dig through their pellets to find the tasty bits.  I mean, they DIG through it, with food flying all over the place at times when the bun is in search of that very last black sunflower seed that has to be in the very farthest back corner of the feeder. 

     We have children.  Kids shed.  My kids can make dust in an empty space.  I don’t know how.  Both kids are dirt magnets.  Then there is also the general disorder that follows both kids around.  E’s job is to sweep up the bunny area…if I had swept the way she does when I was a kid, my mother would have killed me.  E gets about half of everything.  I’ve watched her.  I don’t think the broom touches things when it is in her hand.  She can sweep over a pile of hay, sweep stuff into the dust pan, and there still be more than half the pile sitting in the same place as she moves to the next place.  I do not for the life of me get that. 

Despite the fact that I am paring everything down, I am still a pack rat in some areas.  I make dolls.  I collect dolls.  I am not giving my dolls up because they get dusty.  Also, I have cups all over the place, some with crochet hooks, some with pens, some with nail files, whatever.  I need those because I hate to have stuff shoved into a drawer—I forget what I have and then will go out and buy more stuff.

I’m good w minimal furniture.  Although I love open floor space, I really appreciate having places for friends and family to sit and relax when they come to visit.  And w some family, it’s a better thing if they can sit on one end of the room while I sit at the other.

     No one ever mentions what to do to make your house clean itself when you have animals and kids running around.  Heck, even the fish tank causes issues.  The water will smell funny if it isn’t cleaned.  Thankfully, I amended the filter system w media of my own…as in instead of using the recommended filters made for that system, I took the components of a completely different system and used them instead.  So instead of the plastic frame covered w cotton that holds the charcoal in the middle…I have foam inserts, charcoal separate, and a third bacteria media that all fit into the filter (all of these are made for aquariums—just for different filter systems)—and it works five times better this way than w the intended filters.  Plus, I only have to clean up this system once a month, rather than every week.  It hasn’t done much to kill off the snails, but now that we have our light issue fixed (the tank is on a timer—the timer had been shut off so the fish got light 24/7—NOT a good thing—now they have plenty of dark) the botia are doing an amazing job of eating up all the shelled slimy slimies. 

     So, when you have kids and when you have critters, how do you make your house clean itself?  With a chair and a bull whip? 

     I personally prefer the FlyLady way.  Fifteen minutes to clean in any given zone.  Every day you have a plan.  No dishes left in the sink overnight.  Well, usually anyway.  I will never be able to get up in the morning and put on shoes to wear around my house all day long.  That’s my only issue.

     I can say that minimizing the amount of stuff in my life has really helped me focus more.  I thought the last time I went through my closets, when we were donating to the abused women’s charity, that there was no way I could part w anything else.  Then, w no one in mind to donate to, I went through the same closets again and tossed out so much more stuff.

     I have pared down my yarn stash…and set more restrictions upon that.  I bought the clear plastic containers to go through again and reorganize everything, so I can see what I have when I want to make something.  My friend Kerry, the horrible enabler that she is, passed on a 10% off coupon for knitpicks at the same time I read an email that had a picture of the most amazing sweater ever in it, Klaralund.  I had to have that pattern…and then Kerry does this…and instead of $30-35 for one book…I spent $60 for four books instead…boy, do I love Kerry!

I have minimized my clothes—while at the same time ensuring I have clothes that will turn my boyfriend’s head every time he sees me in them.  I have pared down my craft supplies and stashes.  I have tossed unused knitting needles, crochet hooks, and every manner of beast in between.  I decided not to put many things up on the walls in this house…mainly because to do so requires drilling a hole, not just tapping a nail in w a hammer.  That made me more aware of just how many things mean enough to me for me to display.  I didn’t think of it as cutting down on clutter…but yes, I can see that too.

I cut the size of my kitchen goods in half.  I have donated foods.  I have donated personal care items.  I have donated towels and rags to no less than three animal charities at this point.  I have downsized on all material fronts.

I am working fewer hours.  I am writing more.  I am spending more time with my family.  I am happier and I am healthier.  What else could I ask for at this point?

Curtains and Such

R bought a shark steam cleaner this week-end. He steamed—everything he could find. He steamed the curtains in the bedroom. In so doing, he decided to take down things he didn’t like—like the black scarf over the one window in his bedroom. He hated that thing—it was a dust collector and nothing more—not that I had any appreciation for it. In a bedroom like his, black is completely inappropriate. Plus, the entire thing was just—wrong…inelegant…and butt ugly. It was the only black accent there—the only black accent—not just in the room—but in the entire house—it was tacky. The lack of finesse and grace, and the utter insipidity of the piece always bothered me. But, since it’s not my house, I didn’t say a word. However…now I have permission to redo and change out all the curtains in the house... I get to have fun and change things up in a much better way.

I do not like the curtains in R’s bedroom—they are about to go, as soon as I find ones I like. I like the sheerness of the fabric, because light comes in…but the color is heinous, especially for a man who dislikes red as much as R does. It is the dark shade of red too, a dried blood maroon, that makes me, who loves red, cringe at how bad it looks. Funny how he doesn’t like them though, and they are in his bedroom. Three guesses on how they got there. He does not complain when any woman does anything to/in his house. Not since I’ve known him. Which on one hand is good for me—and on the other is pretty good for him, since he and I have the same ideas about most things.

I don’t like his current color scheme though. He would have a cow if I told him it’s because he and the ex have the same color scheme—and I always disliked it—forest green and maroon. Maybe I liked it at one time, but not anymore. Which for me is strange. I am very into greens. And I love red. But, much like the burnt dried blackened maroon of the curtains in his bedroom (that go w nothing that I can see in the whole house and are not his ‘normal’ shade of maroon), it’s just wrong. It simply does not fit—and it’s just not appealing on any level. It’s just so wrong. Now I get to change it all, one step at a time. Although azure blue and pristine white—never going to happen w these dogs—or these kids.

My own personal color scheme is more blues and yellows and whites. That alone says a great deal. R and I do have so much in common. I have already started to swing the bedroom in a different color direction already, with the new bed spread, thankfully, so instead of my own desire for reds in the bedroom, I can manage a nice blue, which works for me. Unless I hit the chocolate range again…which will work in that room. I am also trying to think ahead…because the carpet will be going away within the next couple months (woo hoo). I don’t want dark curtains—I don’t want dark colors there, in the bedroom…but the medial blue like he has in the living room…I don’t want that either. I like the blue curtains…I just don’t think they are the right color for the bedroom.

He gave me permission to re-do all the curtains…which may or may not bode well for him. But I sure am going to have fun. I like lots of light coming in—without the neighbors being able to look in. I can’t wait.
Seems rather tacky to say—this may be the best birthday present I’ve gotten yet this year.

R and I have also been talking. It is time to sit down and go over the numbers. We are really not accomplishing much w my house being used for storage, more than anything else. We do need things to settle down just a bit more, but I do believe in the next few months, we will be looking for that new, bigger house for all of us as a family to settle into…it seems like this is something we knew was coming…and we did…we just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. And it is a morbid thing to sit and think, if not for an ailing dog, we might have made different choices…bought a different house, already have combined both households…at least he no longer feels guilty that things move so quickly between us. We have both long known now that we are supposed to be together and that we work well together. Neither of us is willing to give up the other. No matter what kind of garbage other people may give us about how quickly it seems things move w us.