Halloween Update

Also called, how I tortured my kids this weekend…or rather--how they tortured me...




There will be pictures, those that we have, later on…



We went to Millstadt Eckert’s and their Fun farm this Saturday.



I was actually very impressed with N, he of the most obstinate and bull-headed. The whole trip there, he didn’t want to go. He wanted to go to dairy queen’s playground. Until we made a turn and were getting really close to Eckert’s. I guess about the time we started to see the Fun Farm This Way signs….then he wanted to go pumpkin picking….and we could not get there fast enough for him…



First, there was parking in the muddy field. And walking to the gate to get in. Nik dragging me this way and that to get there faster…faster…



Then, we’re all together and standing in line to get in…and he has to pee…so after we pay to get in, we consult the map, find a bathroom and go.



The bathroom’s are port-a potty’s. Apparently, N hasn’t seen these before. He goes in, opens the door and looks at me—is this where I’m supposed to go pee? And I tell him yes. The door closes. Then the door opens. His pants are unbuttoned, but thankfully, nothing is hanging out. He needs his jacket off. Ok. He goes back in. he opens the door. He needs his sweatshirt off. Ok. He goes back in. He’s in there. For awhile. There is singing. Not at all unusual. A crowd is gathering. As is the wont in places like this. He comes out. His undies are up, thank goodness. His pants are down around his ankles. He can’t button them. So I scootch him over so the one lady can get in…and he scootches us in front of the other port-a-potty. I am trying to zip and button him and move him forward, out of the door’s way, when the lady tries to come out (luckily she was standing there during the jacket/sweatshirt process, so she was understanding) –he didn’t want to go much farther until he had his jacket on…but I got him to move enough that we weren’t in anyone else’s way.



Now, T had told me N doesn’t like rides. Really? The kid nearly killed us all to get from the bathrooms to the spinning apple ride. And he screamed in line because he had to wait. There were only 4 apples…you can fit maybe six people in per apple, but it was more like three or four…they weren’t overloading them or anything…the lady felt so bad because of his crying to get on that she let us go twice…N was maniacally laughing…until we spun the apple too fast and then he just looked down til it slowed again.



After that, it was the swings. You know the swings. It’s like the airplanes for the little kids. One kid per swing and all it does is spin around in a circle. He demanded to ride the swings. I kept telling him he wasn’t going to like it, was he sure. He was determined. I told him if he got on he had to stay on the entire trip. He said fine.

So, we are standing in line, and my loving gracious none-to-small son, starts saying in his very loud voice, my butt itches, my butt itches, and he’s doing the my butt itches dance while trying to take his pants off and get his hand down his pants….one of the other mother’s in line spewed soda out of her nose on that one…her kid was a baby in a stroller…she has no clue what awaits her. I drew N aside, trying to hide him behind a big planter, while he itched his butt and I kept him mostly unseen by the crowds…then all was well and we were back in line.



He was the very last kid on. He almost had to wait another time, but he lucked out. There was one swing left. He was so thrilled and so proud of himself. Until they helped him get in. And they tied him in. There’s the bar that goes down over the lap. And a seatbelt looking thing, so there is no way the kid can slide out under the bar…there’s the loop for the lap and one that clicks between the legs….he was trapped. He HATES that. He started yelling. I found a spot where I could yell over at him to try to comfort him as best I could…



He was near tears before it started. The guy told me he could stop it at any time if we needed it to, but I told the guy N knew if he got on he had to ride the whole ride. N and I both cried through the whole thing. That boy was never so freaking happy as when he got off that ride. He actually cussed me out—I was supposed to save him and I didn’t….(the cussing thanks to Shaun of the Dead…does anyone else question why a 5-6yo AUTISTIC child is permitted to watch Shaun of the Dead…I own the movie…but I am the only one who watches it…the only reason N saw it at my house was because T told me to put it in for him….I’ve talked my way out of having that movie on for N before…although I find it strange that the beatings and mutilations and the eating of humans does not bother N in the least…although scary jack-o-lantern faces scare him into silence and hiding….E refuses to watch Shaun at all…too gory and yucky) . E and R were playing putt putt golf when N and I found them…we had to follow them around while N calmed down—and yes, I carried the poor guy the whole time—this is one of those times when he definitely earned being carried…



Then N got to play on the wooden castle thing with all the other kids, climbing and running around. There was a sandbox after that, which helped ground and settle him a bit. I left R and N in the sandbox to take E to the animal petting part. There were zebu and baby camels and an antelope of some sort…E got to pet that one, but not the camels. There were some really stupid kids (older kids, like teens or pre-teens) there too and E and I worked hard to avoid them. There were goats and a donkey looking thing too. E was upset. She couldn’t get in, past the stupid kids, to pet the camels.



There was the corn maze. N was not impressed with the dried ear of corn, but he had a blast dragging me around to find his sister. His sister took off in the beginning, nearly giving me a bloody heart attack…I was raised by a mother who was afraid her kid would get kidnapped and, in her estimation, I was….it’s true. So I have an inordinate amount of fear about these things. Then, outer limits and twilight zone freak that I have always been, stick me in the bleeding cornfield and let me lose a kid…wah freaking hoo there, bucko. I could have killed her. R found her. Then since E took off, N took off—and he ran—only N has the Knack…he ran through the maze right out into the crowd again….so, I could have killed them both…



E and I then got to ride Barney the camel. Our handler was Jeff. This is where things got kinda …bombastic…between a small boy who wanted to be ornery and act up and a man who absolutely would not tolerate that and who desperately wanted to make the camel ride memorable for E and for me by taking pictures…we got a couple pictures…but none were really good…and you can almost see the camel in them….E and I still had fun. It is very difficult to take a picture while pinning a small very strong child who is trying to run off in one place….

Riding a camel is not like riding a horse…there is a whole other motion. Do you know what that means? It means—I get to have camels when we get the farm. I already have plans for llamas and their mamas, goats, sheep, alpaca…camels produce a very nice wool too…and I can ride the suckers…I like this idea…not that I have given up the rescuing of mustangs or other endangered horses either…..



There was then the mineshaft slide…which R and E loved…N stood in line but right before it was their turn to go, he decided not to—I don’t blame him—it’s a tube underground….in an enclosed tube, under the ground…I was proud he at least tried…N and I got to sit by the campfires while R and E did the slide. R took video of going down the slide—that is so cool…yes, I will figure out how to post it for you once I get a copy of it….still…you could not have paid me to go down that thing…an open air slide, sure…an enclosed one…R is still trying to get me to go down the enclosed slide at the dairy queen playground by our house which we know is large enough for an adult—I just cannot do it…they are all very lucky I go up in the play area as high as I do…



Next was a hot dog for the boy to curb some of his grouchiness. E had Doritos. R shared his brat with me…and I had several bites, with mustard and relish, so there, I tried something different…and it didn’t suck too bad (mostly cause I missed the mustard for the most part and R for some reason has convinced me eating green things like pickles and relish is ok….gross…)



Then, we stood in line…for the HAUNTED HAYRIDE! N was actually pretty excited to be standing in line. He liked riding the wagons pulled by tractors at apple picking. I kept telling him we were going for a ride. He was not interested in apple picking this time. But he was going to make darn sure he got his turn and he wasn’t left out of these rides. Thank goodness, 1 we got in line when we did so we didn’t wait that long and 2 that Eckerts had about four or five tractors and wagons ready to go all in a row….one would fill up and head out and they’d be filling the next one before the first one was gone…I think we made it on the fourth one…



We had a screamer in our group…and lucky N and me, we sat right across from her. N loved the view of the city, but as soon as he saw lights and heard the banging of the cage door, he hid inside his hood. He really liked when the combine came after us though—and boy, did it really come after us. The screamer scared N more than the ghouls chasing around the wagon. After the combine, I had him off my lap and wedged between R’s back and my stomach…so he was pretty good for the rest of the ride…despite the screamer…then came the very last scare…the dude with the chain saw…that scared N to no end…then he started shaking…but that was the end and it was all over and N was great when we got off the tractor…



I asked him if he had a good time on the ride and he honestly said it was nice. I asked him if he wanted to do it again and he said no thank you. R was very disappointed w E though—she never flinched once the entire time. So we are planning to take her to a haunted house here soon, just to see if we can scare the snot out of her.



After that, there was picking out the pumpkin. We got a nice big bumply one….E picked out a green and orange squash that looks like a pumpkin…and we got a smaller regular more pie baking type pumpkin as well…and to show you how very off I was at that moment, when E asked for some of the cookies there, I said sure. When we got them home and I saw the price…$7.49 for a dozen pumpkin iced cookies….I think my heart stopped…I hadn’t seen the price on them when we bought them…I figured they’d be a dollar or more than what we’d pay at a regular store…but $8!?!?! They were good cookies, but not $8 worth of good!  I don't care what E says about them!



After buying our stuff…we had to hike it back through the dark to the car…and N was so ready to go. Anytime we go somewhere all he wants to know is…are we going back to your house? He doesn’t want to go back to T’s house…he’s ok going to R’s house so long as we aren’t spending the night there…did we go right back to my house?



No. The grown-ups were starving—and so was the girl, in her own picky way. We went to O’Charley’s by my house, which we love…and not just because kids eat free…but because of their terrific dinner rolls…N had fallen asleep in the car on the way back from eckerts…you stop the car and the boy is awake though…he laid his head in my lap at O’Charley’s, popped up when his food came…then he had to go potty, w R…and that woke him up….but at least he ate. And he even wrote everyone’s name on their take out containers….I was very impressed w this…



Once home, I put in a movie for R…To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar….R had never seen it before. Oh my goodness, I had forgotten how very funny this movie was….Wesley Snipes as Auntie Noxi, short for Noxema….oh my oh my oh my…but Patrick Swayze was utterly divine and so perfect as a woman…he was a true lady….N and E went to play on the computer…but both would come out wearing my 4 and 5 inch heels and strut around a bit….



That is the great part…it was a terrific day. R and I got to camp out on the couch and actually watch tv. We got home so late and the man still stayed to watch a movie w us…



Now…we only have a few days left til Halloween…to get E into a real haunted house…she loved the haunted hayride, but the screamer bugged her too…but she enjoyed it…we just need something…scarier for her….



Mwahahahahahahaha…does she live in the right household for that……

Join others as they scared themselves and their kiddies at:
The Domestic Withces Halloween Blog Party

Halloween Disturbia

Today, I got tired of waiting for my daughter to get the urge to go through the Halloween boxes that have been sitting in my kitchen right in her way—which is where I put them ON PURPOSE—for over a week now.

Yes.  We were gone last weekend, from Thursday night to Monday night.

Yes.  We were gone Wednesday night and came back last night (we stayed at R’s house at his request—it is only because of the fish we returned before today…)

Not once did this kid even peek in the boxes.  I asked her.  She said she’s seen the boxes, but hadn’t wanted to start pulling anything out at that time.

Hannah Montana more important?  (let me NOT start on Hannah Montana and why she is now officially a dirty word in this house—give me Elvira…sheesh at this point, give me Traci Lords—at least she’s honest!)  Gag me with a goose—then gag the goose!  Hannah is the real horror there!

Anyway—I got tired of waiting for her…so I started to pull stuff out on my own.  As soon as I touched the first box, the little Inquisitor came over and took over for me.  She decorated the whole house.  She even took down her ‘the witch/vampire/girl is in’ sign so she could put up her skeleton!  I was impressed.  We have ghostly window clings (from my dad) that actually glow in the dark – we are very much looking forward to seeing how much glow they have.

My darling little boy is here today now…and after being SO very consistent for weeks now on wanting to be the incredible Hulk for Halloween, the little snot surprised everyone when his dad asked him (because we must ever be sure) what he planned to be for Halloween…and N came back w: Frankenstein! 

We’ve had a mish-mash of Halloweeny impact of late.  We still need to hand E her ten dollar option to go hog-wild at Dollar Tree and get whatever she wants.  It’s become a Halloween tradition.  Halloween gets $10; December holidays gets $10; other holidays, depending on my mood, usually get $5.  Unless stuff for Valentine’s Day is really cool.

We still keep up the scary movies, and scary tv shows, when time prevails and I have no desire to be up til midnight watching stuff…there have been scary books galore.

Level 26 by Anthony Zuicker is a very cool concept.  Except.  Except.  It’s pretty interesting premise—an interactive book—where there is a website and there are videos that coincide with certain areas of the book…I didn’t go much farther than that.  The videos are television appropriate…which means the ultra-violence is all implied—but the one video w sexual content went too far into the sexual realm…another time and that would have been a great tidbit—but in the midst of an unstoppable serial killer?  And we aren’t even seeing the least bit of actual violence….nope.  Not my cup of tea.  I stopped watching the videos early on.  Not to mention, none of the acting scared me—it was the killer’s eyes that did it for me.  Except…that the eyes in the book and the eyes on the screen did not jibe—which was a big letdown.

The book …well…it tries…except … it’s a pretty big let-down, especially for someone like me who has done nothing but study serial killers and abnormal psych for twenty plus years…again, the ending is not jibing…well, the killer’s ending was not jibing…although the actual ending of the book was visible by the middle of the book….

I think Level 26 is a good beginning for this series…there is a great deal of room for improvement…I look forward to more…but…overall…it wasn’t the greatest thing in the world.

The Child Thief by Brom—now that is a hellacious good read. 

Other Halloweeny type things going on?  We are planning a trip to the pumpkin patch soon, hopefully this weekend, depending upon R’s schedule.

If you are out and about, my friend Kerry will have a booth at arteast in Alton, IL.  You should stop by.

Otherwise, don't forget to hang out with the rest of us at the Halloween blog party....

Dipping My Toe In The Halloween Waters

I don't know how often I am going to be doing this, this little Halloween update.  I will do my best.  I knew it wasn't going to be an every day posting.

Let's see.
We are five days into the month.  October.  Halloween.
My favorite holiday.

I shall throw my caveat out.

R's ex kept all his Halloween decorations.  I want to laugh at the childishness of this little girl.  Thirty plus years old and still acting like a spoiled brat.  He knows she won't return them; he knows they are gone; he knows she is too small and too petty to be an adult and say I found your stuff, here, take it.  Oh, no, not her.  She's too busy being petty and mean and blaming everything on everyone else.
She is making things really easy for me.
I don't have to ever worry about him looking at any of those Halloween decorations throughout our life together and having him think, wow, I once had this up at so and so's house, I wonder how she is, where she is, yada yada.

Nope.  Now he and I get to go out, replace all the things she stole (and keeping them is stealing, since the agreement was to return everything amicably--which she has proven she is unable to do) and have all those memories of building our lives together from scratch.  I get to usurp all those old memories, which, truth be told, are all pretty sad in the re-telling anyway, and replace them with the bounty of happiness and camaraderie.

I can deal with that.  The ex's current taught me the value of these lessons.  Sometimes I take such a vicious pleasure in being proven right about things.  This is just one of those places where I get to gloat about things.

Now--what did we do in the past five days towards our own little Hallowed Eve partying?

We've been through the Halloween section of every single store we have entered, be it discount store, garden center, grocery store, mall.  We have journeyed through Halloween specific stores.
I have drooled over this killer pair of boots--which is the same price at the Halloween store as it is at Romantix...and neither looks much different quality-wise either....but I already sport a pair of gorgeous thigh high boots that R bought for me...so, I am trying to contain myself....

I have been told I am not allowed to wear my Alice costume out in public without R there w me, unless I wear sweatpants or something underneath it.  I honestly had no clue it was that short.  Til he took some pictures and showed me.  Lucky me, I have leggings to wear under it all picked out now.

On October 1, I did nothing at all, all day.  I was at R's house, working.  BUT--I spent the entire day utterly engulfed in "The Child Thief" written by Brom, and illustrated by Brom as well.  THIS is the side of Peter Pan I have been trying to warn people (mostly people who have never read the original Peter Pan) about--oh no--most people have the Disney version in their heads--where Peter is a dear sweet boy--and Tinkerbell is a little darling.  She's a horridly cruel spiteful little b**ch in 'real life'--and Peter is cold, callous, and concerned only w Peter.  That's just the original book.  Brom quoted certain passages in the original Peter Pan that made him stop and do a double take, the things that caused him to write this book in the first place--the same passages that always made me stop and ponder the --WTF of things there.  In 'The Child Thief', Brom pulls in the Lady of the Lake Mysteries as well--it all fits so beautifully--and any time we can show the true vulgarity of Man corrupting religion in Man's name to suit Man's purposes is always a wonderful thing for me...we span from the current time and place...to the place where Time stops and spins like a lolling top...to a land of Great Magic and dreams....I shall not give naught away here...it is an incredible book...which I highly recommend....highly highly highly...

October 2, I spent the day chasing a squirrelly little kid who didn't have school who was dropped off w me at R's house earlier than usual.  I should have checked my email the night before, but I was otherwise occupied. I might have gotten N first thing in the morning Friday, if not late night on Thursday.  That's ok; we needed that time together on Thursday, R and I did.  (yes, I have pirate speak in the brain now, after talking about 'the Child Thief')

We had to come back to my house that night late--otherwise we would have spent another night at R's...and it would have been easier to pick E up from her cousins' the next day.  N would have none of it.  He still needs to sleep at my house.  We're working on getting him more used to R's house.  I am not really forcing that issue right now, since we are going to move so soon anyway.  It will be a whole other process of N getting used to things.  No need to push him all at once.

My dad sent us these really cool cloth shopping bags from Krogers (we think) where he lives (since there are none around here--which sucks 'cause I genuinely miss krogers) --  they have Halloween scenes on them and they say, "It's not scary to recycle"--I am thinking we need to get more of these...I have no compunctions about using Halloween bags all year--just as I have no compunctions wearing halloween clothes all year. Oh yes, I am that woman.

I have been working rather hard to make things w pumpkin--soups, breads, rolls, you name it.  The kids LOVE that.  N is wild for the pumpkin rolls, so I had some waiting for him this weekend.

Which reminds me.  Every store we've gone into, that has had something we like at least, we have gotten Halloween shirts, Halloween socks,  Halloween undies...throw on my black granny 'witch' boots and I am good to go.  We have also been buying up lots and lots of scary and Halloweeny movies....which we LOVE LOVE LOVE (the family fave here is still "Hocus Pocus")

October 3--my pc went bye-bye for awhile.  We are still cleaning up the aftermath.  But we survived.  That was the closest I have ever come to wanting to fire up the little mac mini and setting things up on her and her messed up little system (this mac has been --tampered with -- ever since I got it--she has issues that are not necessarily mac issues....).  You want REALLY scary--my pc crashing is scary--I have 3 months of writing that I need to archive to the external and haven't gotten around to it yet....not that it isn't in other places as well...but still....

October 4--
We are trying to watch one scary movie every single night--and I am wondering if CSI (all of them) and Criminal Minds and NCIS and Mentalist can be counted towards that goal....but we do try to watch at least one movie as a family every single night....if I have to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks meet the Wolfman again, I may puke, or break out in fur myself...though this is one of N's favorite cartoons at the moment...but then again, we do have volume one of the ghostbusters cartoon and we watched that all weekend long...at least there are five disks...

October 5--
R and E and I watched 'Sweeney Todd' (the Johnny Depp version)...and then we started to watched "Young Frankenstein"--what, we can't have humor with our horror?  Have you never watched some of the Child's Play movies?  'Bride of Chucky' comes to mind quite clearly--with all those jokes in that movie--it was hysterical!

R also brought us gourds that he had been given by some friends.  I am not sure where E took off w hers, but I have the crowning gourd on my altar for the time being.  We want to grow these types of gourds next year...among other things...
I want to get one of those 'regular' little gourds that E swiped--I want to try making a doll out of one of them....

Today, I also went into the attic and pulled down the Halloween decorations.  I was waiting for my little Goth chicklet to notice so we could decorate...but she didn't even notice the boxes piled up right in front of her, with the pumpkins peeking through the clear plastic and the skeletons arms hanging out over the top of one box....when did I say she was really observant?  She has to move the boxes in order to get to her cups and everything...the twerp...

Tomorrow--we dye the girl's hair blood red...well, ok, fine, not that red.  Just a plain jane auburn.  She is determined to remain a redhead--I hate to tell her--she is not that far from being a true redhead...she's a cherry blonde naturally.  She wants her hair to look really good for the trip to WV this week-end.  We bought the dye last night...she washed her hair this afternoon (twice no less)--tomorrow we color....

That's my update for this week...I'll try not to be so boring next time....

Until then, check out some other Halloween Blog Party participants with the Domestic Witch here....