8Things To Fill Me Up

 8Things, and I am on time today too!  Things that Fill Me Up...

Here I am, in the middle of combining my household w my boyfriend’s household as we move in permanently together…while homeschooling my 9yo who really does not want to be schooled in any manner…while having my over-active over-stressed son (who has Sensory Processing Disorder) here for the whole week (this is more about sibling issues than his over-active little butt)…while babysitting a moose, Whiskey.  He’s a 17 mo lab/golden retriever mix.  Think Marmaduke.  He’s absolutely huge.  I have an over-jealous dog, Kendall, already, and Whiskey and his big goofy play w me, play w me puppy stuff is driving her nutty.  We just sent out other babysitting job, Bear, a small older dog we’ve watched before, home on Tuesday evening.  Her we hardly even noticed this time around.  Right now, not only am I fighting sinus issues that are moving into my throat, so is R…and so are the kids…so we are a house full of sicky poo yuckies.  Today I found out my precious purebred Satin Angora rabbits…are not…they are lionhead, jersey wooly and satin angora mixes.  I don’t care about that part.  I love the little snots anyway.  Plus, I love lionheaded  buns anyway…and if I hadn’t been determined to get angoras, I’d have gotten lionheads.  They are currently sitting at the vets, their testes nicely removed, and hopefully w Simon especially their moods improving exponentially.  I am a bit freaky about the care of my bunnies.  I drove 30+ minutes, out to Fenton, to the best rabbit vet in the area, for $220 each rabbit, to have them fixed—and it is worth every single penny and drop of gas to know my boys are so well cared for and so well taken care of…and safe.  Not every vet that says, oh sure, we do rabbits, has any clue about rabbits.  I am just wanting them to be safe and healthy. 

      So, refilling my cup…oh, what a blessing.

1.       Strangely enough, one thing that is really starting to do me a world of good are the podcasts I listen to…I have knitting ones and art ones and writing ones and since I can’t remember what day the Waldorf lectures have been, I’ve been listening to the recordings of the teleconferences…

2.      Being able to walk downstairs first thing in the morning and let one bun out into the play yard for a few hours.  Then switching that bun out for the other one.  Without having to wait for E to get up and get around to things.  Without having to wait for me to finish off whatever it is that I am up to.  Without having to drive to my house, where I haven’t really wanted to be the last couple weeks due to storms.  When there are storms (so go back to the top and add shepherd mix terrified of storms who clings to my backside whenever the weather shifts—til it gets bad enough for her to hide in the bathtub or under the bed), I have the urge to stay home, home at R’s…so the buns haven’t been getting much time out of their tiny cages.  Pray the surgeries this afternoon have made it possible for us to put them together again…so they can have their larger cage and their always open play yard again.

3.      Curling up on the couch, next to R, listening to the tv while I read…I’ve had decent books to read lately.  Like ‘Angel Time’ by Anne Rice…as annoying a read as it is, it is a very inspirational book.

4.      Fans.  Fans blowing, sitting in windows and sitting on the floor.  Air conditioning is ok, but there is something about the curtains blowing and the breeze hitting the backs of my knees at random that makes me smile.

5.      I bought new soap the other day.  We didn’t need new soap.  The smell stopped me.  Mango something or another.  Me and my showering OCD that worsens when I get overheated regularly…two very short showers a day, one in the morning, one at night, w this blissful soap…and then layers of perfume and lotions and powders and clothes that are me, just me, with no other attachments to it.  It’s beautiful.  Weird as I am.

6.      Sleep.  Lots of sleep.  R will tell me I need to go to bed and will handle things when he sees I am pushing too much too hard.  Of course, w N here, wake-up calls are usually way too early…but the snuggling between him and R is fun.

7.      Playing w the crazy dogs is great.  Whiskey does not take no for an answer.  It is actually too fun to watch Whiskey do to Kendall what Ken has long done to Princess and everyone else for so long…and Kendall hates it.  Whiskey chases things, brings them back, plays tug of war, eats bubbles out of bubble baths, chasing the water coming out of the shower head.  Think Marmaduke sized beastie who will jump into the shower w you…and he does, frequently.  If he can’t get into the shower, he’ll wait to try and lick you dry when you come out.  Then he’ll lick the tub dry once he’s sure you’re dry enough.

8.      Flowers.  Our flowers are now starting to bloom.  It’s a little sad to think they are blooming now while we are moving out…but at least we get to see them.  And we are not done planting flowers at R’s house either….

Correction June 4, 2010:
The lady at the vet waited for us to pick the buns...she admitted that she had made a mistake and the vet concurred.  My rabbits are 100% purebred Satin angoras.

8 things, On Friday--Of Course

Improved Eating

Improved Eating?  Uhm…how about improved lifestyle instead? 

I have to be very careful about diet and eating to begin with—I was anorexic and bulimic as a teen-ager.  No one ever tells you being anorexic and/or bulimic is like being a drug addict.  You can kick the habit—but it is always w you, sitting on your shoulder, waiting to jump back in and get you back on that train.

I also have low blood sugar issues and have to be sure I eat every so often…which I do not like to do at all. 

Technically, I am supposed to eat several small meals and several light snacks all day long.  I can’t do that.  Physically, I would probably be fine w it—but mentally—I just can’t do it.

I’m a grazer.  I pick and snack here and there.  I love food.  I do not like to eat.  Weird combo, huh?

If I get hungry, the first thing I do—after ignoring the sensation for about an hour or so—is drink a full glass of water.  Why?  Why do I ignore the sensation?  Because I prefer to be busy.  Why do I drink the water?  Statistics (somewhere out there) say that 9 times out of 10 when you think your body is hungry, it is actually thirsty.  I also know that supposedly (darn the scientists for figuring these things out) that hunger pains go away in about 20 minutes.  So you drink the water, you body thinks your belly is full…voila.

Having said all that…my ‘normal’ idea of a diet is milk for breakfast (ovaltine), milk for lunch (ovaltine again), and a big meal when R comes home.  I drink hot tea (w no sugar or lemon or milk or anything) and cold tea (not super sweet, a scant cup of sugar to one gallon of tea) all day.  I will drink fruit juices when I start to crave them, which is rare.  I will drink water.

My dad recently sent me an email about the best times to drink water.  You drink water first thing in the morning to get your system ready for the day.  You drink water before bed to …well…I don’t drink water right before bed…I want to sleep the whole night through and I don’t want to wet the bed (I have small children…first place my brain goes…)  There were other times when drinking a glass of water is supposedly more beneficial to your body…but the water first thing in the morning is the one I stick to and the only one I remember.  It makes me feel better anyway.   

I recently tried my only one meal a day diet plan recently.  If I could get up and do an hour’s worth of yoga first thing in the morning…I would not require as much food.  Strange, but true.  Problem:  I won’t do yoga at my boyfriend’s house.  Maybe I will once we have all the carpets removed and the floors redone…but right now…I am not sticking my face in a floor that smells of …dog…incontinent dog at that.  It totally breaks my concentration.

So, I am lucky to go to my own house in the afternoon and do yoga then.  Although it’s been the Bollywood dance of late.  But still—at least I am doing something…my boyfriend gets very upset w me if I don’t eat—I tend to get dizzy and woozy and off-balance, well, more so than usual anyway.  And even though I know the scientific facts behind it, my body gets upset when I don’t eat.  Note to others:  according to science, if you don’t eat, your body goes into starvation mode—it retains fat and liquid and whatever else it can hold on to…if you eat more, your body lets go of more.  How weird is that?

Enough babble yet?

What am I planning to do?

This is not really a diet.  This is more of a lifestyle plan.

1.       Increase grainage.  Brown, red, black rices…not all together…but the stranger the color and texture, for some reason the more the 9yo girl wants to eat it.  Actually, all this is for me is whole grain/multi-grain toast, 2 slices, for breakfast.  With rose hip jam on them—not butter and jam.  Just the jam.  I do as much whole grain as I can, or at least grain stuff as I can.  I always throw a handful of barley or something into soups and stews.

2.      Increase fresh fruit and veg intake.  Yee haw farmer’s markets and the patio gardens we have.  I tend to eat lighter during the hotter weather—mostly because the last thing I want is a heavy stomach—even if all I am eating is toast.  I tend to crave salads anyway.  I prefer spinach to lettuce…which is good from a nutrient level…

3.      I still do not eat 3 meals a day.  I eat breakfast—that’s my new rule—must eat breakfast.  I eat dinner; I love having dinner w my family.  I do not over-eat.  My mother trained me to clean my plate.  Some days it is harder than others to make myself leave something on the plate, but I do try.  I have also tried making sure I put less on the plate, so if I do finish it, I don’t feel as bad.

4.      R and I normally cook together.  He does one part and I do the other.  Cooking together makes us more involved in the food we’re having.  We plan our meals better.  It’s not nearly so haphazard.  The food actually has more value…not just nutritionally…but emotionally.  I am an emotional eater.  Appetite suppressants have no affect on me whatsoever.  My 9yo daughter shows the same aptitude.  If she gets upset at all, her stomach hurts and she can’t eat.  Cooking as a family brings us closer together.  We are also not allowed to discuss things that will cause upset—so no talk of E’s schoolwork, or anything stressful for any of us.

5.      Growing our own veg and herbs.  Not just buying local produce in season, but growing our own.  Ok, so we have a potted garden on our back patio…and we fertilize daily w whatever we sweep out of the rabbit cages (we have to keep them separated until after we get them fixed—they are still healing from their fight—I wanted them totally healed before I drive them the 30+ minutes to the vet for surgery…).  This year we have 5 times more tomatoes than we had last year.  Of course, this year I chose to grow Romano tomatoes…but, boy, are they growing well.  The turnip greens are a hit w the rabbits.  I can’t drench my spinach w soap much more to save it from the bugs…if I do, I fear we will hiccup soap bubbles whenever we eat the spinach.

6.      I do take supplements to increase the rate of my metabolism.  Hey, I am close to 40 yo and I am under no illusions about how the body changes.  I can drink a tablespoon of vinegar a day…or I can take apple cider vinegar tablets…at which point I am ingesting 4 or more equivalent tablespoons of vinegar—without the vile taste and the gulping of raw honey (which is INSANELY difficult to find…I must have raw, unprocessed, unpasteurized honey…local if possible—but I haven’t found any local) followed by whatever I have on hand to drink that isn’t water or milk.  Water doesn’t do much to kill the vinegar taste—and for some reason the milk seems to make it worse, and causes upset tummy…).  Cayenne mint combined is one supplement.  The mint counteracts the upset tummy over that big hit of cayenne.  Ginger supplement.  I rotate others, like garlic (odorless and tasteless), lavender, alfalfa…I have also started to drink a capful (maybe 3-4 tablespoons?) of aloe vera juice in the morning.  Be careful and do the research on aloe vera juice.  It can be quite the purgative if you take more than a little bit of it at a time.

7.      I am increasing yogurts, kefirs, and anything semi-probiotic-like.  I need the calcium…that’s where it started.  There is research out there that says calcium helps you lose weight.  I don’t like to take the vitamins anymore…the supplements I take are herbal in nature…so not manufactured vitamins or minerals.  I keep everything skim, no fat, low fat, as much as possible.  We only drink skim milk here.

8.      Believe it or not, talking w R about what I am eating and how I am eating has done wonders for me.  He keeps me on an even keel, helps me out, and is working w me on the types of food I want to eat more of and so on.

Now, I do have an extra one…we don’t eat out as much.  We normally eat out a couple times a week.  We always eat out on the week-end when we have both kids…we normally take E and N to lunch, and sometimes supper, before we take N back to his dad’s house.  That usually means McDonald’s playground…neither kid cares where they eat, so long as there is a playground.  So, we are cutting back on our eating out –and we are going to better places, or rather healthier places, when we do go out. 

My other caveat is I try to do something, anything, dance, yoga, basic stretching, ride my stationary bike, something for at least 15 minutes a day.  It doesn’t sound like much, but it does a great deal towards making me feel better, which actually makes me feel thinner…and my scale may not be in total agreement, but my skinny girl jeans are fitting better…so that says something.

Two 8Things In One

People To Appreciate 

(this is the one from this week)

1.      R—even before we became lovers, he was always (and still is) my very best friend, my support, my cheerleader, my sounding board…and so much more…

2.      E—she makes me love and appreciate the day…and through her I realize how much I put my parents through—and pray her kids do the same to her some day.

3.      N—he’s my little ray of sunshine…seeing things through his perspective gives me a whole new dimensional view on the world.

4.      Tracy—some friends really are forever.

5.      Kerry—for all the inspiration, support and giggles…not to mention, pretty pretty things that she makes…

6.      Sean—he does my heart good, makes me smile, makes me laugh…makes me remember I am alive some days.

7.      Sarah—for all her inspiration, coaching, cajoling and firm belief in my own creativity—Gods bless you, woman.  Honestly.

8.      Alice—a slight curve ball here…my dear Alice, much like my beloved Belle, reminds me every day that perspective is in the eye of the beholder, and strange things are not always unwelcome…believe w your heart and all your dreams can come true…looking past what is visible on the surface yields most amazing results…

Small Gratitudes

(this is from last week--I looked on Thursday and had it all ready to type up--and got side-tracked and I thought of it Friday morning...and as you see...didn't get there til now!)

1.      standing in the doorway holding one bunny or the other—while they sniff and stare away, I get to pet and stroke them…

2.      waking up entangled in R’s body every morning—which is also the way we fall asleep every night as well—you cannot beat that …

3.      Hemalayaa Behl’s dvds…not only do I appreciate the way she teaches Yoga, I am in love w her dance workouts…I love her style.

4.      The first cuddle and hug w E every morning the moment she wakes up and comes to find me…

5.      After R leaves for work, if I am still in bed, being scrunched between two dogs while still lying in bed, one dog on each side…

6.      Bird song, at any time in the day, even at 4 in the morning…

7.      Watching the wild rabbits scamper all over the place…

8.      The smell of flowers, any flowers, any time we are out…lovely…and at times so unexpected…

More Gratitudes Not Included With The Above, But Heartfelt Anyway

1.      Magpie Girl

2.      Jamie Ridler

3.      Cindy Rushton

So many more, I cannot even begin to thank everyone:  Suzie the Foodie, Hybrid J, Alexa Ispas…so many numerous others…

All rights reserved on the photos.  They do belong to me.  Thanks!

8Things: Mantras For Writers

Yes, Magpie Girl has done it again.  Seems the  seasons are affecting far more than just me.  Here's this week's 8Things:

Oh my.  Oh my.  Isn’t this a sore subject in this house?  Here I am, trying to tell myself that making sure I write down my idea on my little index card is a good thing and that, at some point, I will be getting back to my card to write out that idea in full is a good thing, a very good thing.  It’s more procrastination and I know it.  Usually by the time I get back to my index cards, the time has passed for relevance and I no longer wish to play w said idea.

1.       Write anything.  Write badly.  Write horribly.  This is all the same mantra.  It’s a basic twist of sit here and write, darn it, sit here and write.

2.      Stream of consciousness stuff works.

3.      Who needs punctuation?

4.      Use the pen.  The computer can’t keep up.  This is a sad fact, but true.  My fingers move too fast, but not as fast as my brain.  Writing by hand makes me slow down.  I write more cohesively, more clearly.

5.      Emails, especially long emails, do count as writing.  Especially if you are explaining something to someone, or helping someone figure out something.  It counts towards the daily word count goal, if you have one. 

6.      Just do it.  Write it.  Get it out.  So what if it’s been done a million times?  You haven’t done it yet.

7.      Breathe.  Breathe.  Breathe through it.  This is just my normal usually daily every kind of use mantra.

8.      Journaling counts as writing.  Any day.

And, one extra one, just for a little more punch:

Everything can be fixed in rewrite and edit phase.

      Now, to stop procrastinating and get the writing I’ve been putting off all week done!

Mostly About A Magpie

R is back in town and life is good. He came back Saturday. He had a Mardi Gras party to go to…I had both kids, so we chose to stay home while he went to the party…we had N all week-end and yesterday too as he didn’t have school due to President’s Day.

I had so many things to sit down and write about yesterday—the week-end was so busy. Yesterday didn’t exactly slow down either. And today I have a conference call that I can’t miss, that has to do w my writing career.

I signed up for a free month of the Flock from Magpie Girl . My free month actually began on Valentine’s Day, but R was home and we were busy. I did sign in for the first time yesterday—which caused me to place yet another order for books (as if I am complaining—my boyfriend might be---but as addictions go, this one is fairly tame…)

Neither he nor I celebrate Valentine’s Day, except for the kids’ sake. Here’s one of those places where we absolutely agree, but I never realized it. He and I both agree that if you need one day out of the year to show your emotions, or if this is the only day out of the year you show you care, there is something very very wrong. You should show you care every single day, regardless. That’s how we are. We both purposely go out of our way to let each other know how much we love and appreciate the other, every single day. I do that w my kids. When I was married and I worked as an operator for SBC and he worked as a splicer, I had a ‘love day’ set up at least once a month, just so we could connect and be together. Ok, so w him, it wasn’t the best idea, but if he had been what he purported himself to be (a loving devoted husband) it would have been great. My big thing has always been—what if you die on the way to work…or if I die waiting in line at the grocery store…what will the last words you hear from me be? What will you be left wondering? Will you sit there and wonder if I really did love you, if I really did care? No. Because I have told you every single day, several times every day, how much I care and how much I love you.

Back to the Flock. You have to go check it out for yourself. Last week’s 8Things was a much needed push, or maybe kick in the pants is a better explanation, for me. Not that I haven’t spent years at this point paring down and paring down…but there is still so much more to let go of…and the more I let go of, the better I feel. There are few things in my lifetime that I ever regretted getting rid of…I regret losing several things—but they are not things that I purposely threw away. After high school, several notebooks full of my writing were stolen, never to be seen again. Those I regret losing. But other than a few small things over the years, when I was a teen-ager, I haven’t regretted getting rid of anything.
I did order the book on letting go of things, The Power of Less: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential by Leo Babatua. This I ordered Friday. I also ordered the Flock’s read-along book, Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design by Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte. This I ordered yesterday. R will be snarking at me this evening when he comes in—when I bought The Power of Less on Friday, I ordered him a book as well, so that I could get the $25 free shipping…and his book got here today…mine, as yet, has not. I didn’t tell him I ordered him a book. I did tell him I ordered him something else, silk boxers, because he’s been saying he wants a pair…and it’s not about Valentine’s Day—it’s just what I do…if he tells me he likes something or mentions he wants something, I have a tendency to get it. I would do it more w E too—except she’s not really putting forth as much effort as we’d like w the school work. Although, after this week-end, that does seem to be turning. We’ll see if it lasts. Anyway, I am actually quite looking forward to reading and to exploring these books.

I love the idea of the Flock. I think it’s amazing. I love the family and the connection. And as terrific as I think it is, it’s not exactly what I am looking for in my life right now. I’ve noticed a distinct shift of late—that whole turn from what is it that I want—to doing things to get what I want…not that I haven’t tried to do that all along—but it is an attitude shift. I am no longer focusing on the future…or how I want things to be later on…or where I am going…the shift turned me to more of the here I am, what am I doing now arena. On top of that, there’s a great deal less wanting on my part and much more doing…I am pretty proud of that. My foundations are firmer. I feel safer. I feel stronger. This is a very good place to be. The Flock would have been amazing for me last year at this time. I was still in that space where I was restless and unsure and still searching for the unknown and unreachable…I am not really searching for what is beyond me now; I am milling and mining that which is within me. I am so not talking badly about the Flock. If I had thought it would not be useful to me in some way, I would never have signed up. I cannot recommend it highly enough to others. It is simply not what I need in my life at the moment, but it is a truly incredible resource. I highly urge you to investigate it for yourself.

Not to mention, because of the Flock, I just ordered a book that I think may give me that extra added little push that I need to finally get all these plans in my head about re-designing myself and my life—not redesigning per se, but more of an undesigning—that I have been batting around for ages.

Magpie Girl and her websites are very inspirational for me, very uplifting, and even if I forget to visit as often as I would like, I still feel as if I am coming home whenever I go to her blog and read what is going on w her…be it 8Things or any other project, or even just about her life w her family…

And, with that, I have to run away for awhile. The web conference I attended this afternoon was incredible—and gave me a great deal of information to research. Last night, R and I were talking about him building me a desk top computer again. He had thought since I bought my laptop I had let the desktop idea go. Then, I got to play on my desktop recently and it irked me to no end. T actually brought me Lady Gaga (whom E absolutely adores to no end) –and the computer refused to recognize the disk…which is fairly par for the course w this computer. New, it is not. And after this afternoon, I have more ideas for what I need in a machine. My laptop is supposed to be a basic portable word processor … but … with all the projects that are coming to fruition in my brain lately…the desktop I have right now is completely insufficient…it’s so bad I am pondering resurrecting the mac mini….

I have to take a shower and not start my day…but start the rest of my day…expect more posts soon!

Ciao!