R is back in town and life is good. He came back Saturday. He had a Mardi Gras party to go to…I had both kids, so we chose to stay home while he went to the party…we had N all week-end and yesterday too as he didn’t have school due to President’s Day.
I had so many things to sit down and write about yesterday—the week-end was so busy. Yesterday didn’t exactly slow down either. And today I have a conference call that I can’t miss, that has to do w my writing career.
I signed up for a free month of the Flock from Magpie Girl . My free month actually began on Valentine’s Day, but R was home and we were busy. I did sign in for the first time yesterday—which caused me to place yet another order for books (as if I am complaining—my boyfriend might be---but as addictions go, this one is fairly tame…)
Neither he nor I celebrate Valentine’s Day, except for the kids’ sake. Here’s one of those places where we absolutely agree, but I never realized it. He and I both agree that if you need one day out of the year to show your emotions, or if this is the only day out of the year you show you care, there is something very very wrong. You should show you care every single day, regardless. That’s how we are. We both purposely go out of our way to let each other know how much we love and appreciate the other, every single day. I do that w my kids. When I was married and I worked as an operator for SBC and he worked as a splicer, I had a ‘love day’ set up at least once a month, just so we could connect and be together. Ok, so w him, it wasn’t the best idea, but if he had been what he purported himself to be (a loving devoted husband) it would have been great. My big thing has always been—what if you die on the way to work…or if I die waiting in line at the grocery store…what will the last words you hear from me be? What will you be left wondering? Will you sit there and wonder if I really did love you, if I really did care? No. Because I have told you every single day, several times every day, how much I care and how much I love you.
Back to the Flock. You have to go check it out for yourself. Last week’s 8Things was a much needed push, or maybe kick in the pants is a better explanation, for me. Not that I haven’t spent years at this point paring down and paring down…but there is still so much more to let go of…and the more I let go of, the better I feel. There are few things in my lifetime that I ever regretted getting rid of…I regret losing several things—but they are not things that I purposely threw away. After high school, several notebooks full of my writing were stolen, never to be seen again. Those I regret losing. But other than a few small things over the years, when I was a teen-ager, I haven’t regretted getting rid of anything.
I did order the book on letting go of things, The Power of Less: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential by Leo Babatua. This I ordered Friday. I also ordered the Flock’s read-along book, Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design by Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte. This I ordered yesterday. R will be snarking at me this evening when he comes in—when I bought The Power of Less on Friday, I ordered him a book as well, so that I could get the $25 free shipping…and his book got here today…mine, as yet, has not. I didn’t tell him I ordered him a book. I did tell him I ordered him something else, silk boxers, because he’s been saying he wants a pair…and it’s not about Valentine’s Day—it’s just what I do…if he tells me he likes something or mentions he wants something, I have a tendency to get it. I would do it more w E too—except she’s not really putting forth as much effort as we’d like w the school work. Although, after this week-end, that does seem to be turning. We’ll see if it lasts. Anyway, I am actually quite looking forward to reading and to exploring these books.
I love the idea of the Flock. I think it’s amazing. I love the family and the connection. And as terrific as I think it is, it’s not exactly what I am looking for in my life right now. I’ve noticed a distinct shift of late—that whole turn from what is it that I want—to doing things to get what I want…not that I haven’t tried to do that all along—but it is an attitude shift. I am no longer focusing on the future…or how I want things to be later on…or where I am going…the shift turned me to more of the here I am, what am I doing now arena. On top of that, there’s a great deal less wanting on my part and much more doing…I am pretty proud of that. My foundations are firmer. I feel safer. I feel stronger. This is a very good place to be. The Flock would have been amazing for me last year at this time. I was still in that space where I was restless and unsure and still searching for the unknown and unreachable…I am not really searching for what is beyond me now; I am milling and mining that which is within me. I am so not talking badly about the Flock. If I had thought it would not be useful to me in some way, I would never have signed up. I cannot recommend it highly enough to others. It is simply not what I need in my life at the moment, but it is a truly incredible resource. I highly urge you to investigate it for yourself.
Not to mention, because of the Flock, I just ordered a book that I think may give me that extra added little push that I need to finally get all these plans in my head about re-designing myself and my life—not redesigning per se, but more of an undesigning—that I have been batting around for ages.
Magpie Girl and her websites are very inspirational for me, very uplifting, and even if I forget to visit as often as I would like, I still feel as if I am coming home whenever I go to her blog and read what is going on w her…be it 8Things or any other project, or even just about her life w her family…
And, with that, I have to run away for awhile. The web conference I attended this afternoon was incredible—and gave me a great deal of information to research. Last night, R and I were talking about him building me a desk top computer again. He had thought since I bought my laptop I had let the desktop idea go. Then, I got to play on my desktop recently and it irked me to no end. T actually brought me Lady Gaga (whom E absolutely adores to no end) –and the computer refused to recognize the disk…which is fairly par for the course w this computer. New, it is not. And after this afternoon, I have more ideas for what I need in a machine. My laptop is supposed to be a basic portable word processor … but … with all the projects that are coming to fruition in my brain lately…the desktop I have right now is completely insufficient…it’s so bad I am pondering resurrecting the mac mini….
I have to take a shower and not start my day…but start the rest of my day…expect more posts soon!