First, please light a candle and say a little prayer for my friend A. She is nearly done writing her romance novel…and we are all praying that she sells it when it’s done! I have complete and utter faith in her.
Next on my agenda, I need to plant more mint and basil. I need them on the front porch. We get out of the truck and, boom, the bugs start nibbling on us. That just drives me crazy. Not to mention, at some point soon, we are going to have to landscape those front beds. It is just driving me bonkers…they are not just full of weeds…we do have something growing, at least in the very front bed, with no idea as to what it is. I’ve been waiting to see if flowers develop or what before I dig everything up and start from scratch.
There are two beds in the front of the house. Technically, three, if you count the one beside the carport where we planted all sorts of flowers. There is the bed directly in front of the front porch. Then there is the one along the front part of the house. I am thinking azalea bushes in front of the front porch. I am thinking more boxwoods in front of the rest of the house. Maybe even privet hedge.
We took the dogs over w us yesterday. There go the rest of the gladiolas. Princess dug them all up, and was nearly killed when she thought I might let her get away w digging in the actual pots. Can we say…no way is she allowed back? Which is fine, actually, because yesterday I figured out I don’t really have anything –other than Ken’s toys and her bed—there for the dogs inside the house anymore. There’s a water dish outside. But not inside anymore. We have slowly been bringing things over to R’s house for the dogs. There’s been no need of anything at my house for them.
We’ve sort of been doing a lot of that lately. There is a great deal of fluidity between houses these days. Other than the fluffy butts, our house is used more for storage than anything else. Plus, we have two parties who may actually be interested in moving into that house, once it is available. Actually, I like the way R puts it better: we have two parties, one interested in each of our houses. That way, he and I will need to find that third and larger house for ourselves…
I am going to waddle my way back through something I started yesterday. Developing the rest of my …practice? Life? Work? Art? I really don’t know what to tell you. I am only bringing to back up, like a dog digging up a bone, because I feel the need to worry and nibble at it until everything breaks open and makes sense to me. The real gist of all of it may not touch me completely for another couple days, for various reasons, but I want to have done what I can have done before that revelation aspect comes into play.
Where am I going? What is my purpose? What is the purpose of this blog? Where am I taking this blog? What about my other blogs?
I am fairly confident at this moment that my writing blog has become a very static stasis…a reservoir for the writing that has already been, the ghost, if you will, of my writing past. I still have the other writing blog available; I just think I have it closed and shut down for now, until, and if, its further purpose reveals itself to me. I still have all my old posts up there. I am thinking, at the moment, I may pull it back up, if I get things set up in my life the way I want to—which means delving through these books I have, most of which I started and then put on pause…mayhap I will end up using this blog as my working through things on my own blog…we’ll see.
Now, of course there is the counseling blog, which is out there mostly to keep weirdos from following me around…strange, huh? I am not a psychic. Hello—let me say that one again—I am not a psychic. I don’t want to be a psychic. And I surely do not want to be anyone’s personal psychic. I am, however, an Energy Worker. I am also a Healer and a Counselor, within the Spiritual (since I do not like the term ‘religious’) spectrum. I do not intend to update that blog any time soon, as it is up there for informational purposes only. At best, I was thinking of transplanting all the articles from there to the new work blog and leaving the rest out there…again, a static stasis…
I can’t sleep the past few days. I know why. I don’t really care to discuss it right now. Not to mention, R and I were horsing around last night and E ‘helped out’ a bit—which caused R and me to tumble out the front door (luckily, the front door was open, and the storm door not fastened—or we’d have gone through the glass)—R hit his head—I got scraped up. No big. No harm. No foul. No balancing act in the living room anymore! Can you imagine what any neighbor who saw us—it was after 9 at night—must have imagined to see us tumbling out of our house, all entwined, crashing onto the porch? There was no yelling or screaming—at least not until I got into the shower a half hour later and water hit my arm … Basically, the scrapes on my arm hurt—it was one thing that woke me up this morning (not counting the birds I spoke of earlier). I do a great deal of thinking, lying in R’s arms, listening to him breathe. I know every piece of him. Every length of flesh. Every hair. Every mole. I know the way he moves. I know his heat, his energy. I know the way he smells. I am suffused w him there. I love that feeling. Being there, that is when my brain goes off…into some of the strangest places ever. Those are the places I speak of to my people…those are the places I have been picked on for not sharing here … or in any other forum where they may garner outside attention.
This morning, after marveling over the birds, I was drawn into this mental essay on Lucifer that I have had, in the background of my mind, for a few years. It is well known to anyone who knows me that I do not believe in the so-called ‘Christian’ concept of Hell. But I have a running …thesis that goes on periodically in my brain when it comes to the beauty, the utter devastating beauty of Lucifer…God’s first and most beautiful Angel…and why that alone explains why “Evil” is not ugly…it is beautiful, enticing, so on, so on…so on…One of these days, I will even write the full thesis, or explanation, or something…this needs to come out of my system at some point.
Anyway…my intention was to get up and to write…not only the ‘Lucifer thesis’, but the other things that were roaming through my brain. It didn’t happen. I am not all that upset over that either…what w the running written projects that go on in my head. I know I will get them down on paper when the time is right.
I do believe, however, that I am beginning to see what direction some areas of my life are leading me. It is not a dissatisfaction w my current life that I am working to avoid or to minimize…it is a desire to further myself, to extend myself, to open myself to bigger and to more possibilities.
Considering the time now, I think I shall hold the rest for the coming day.