Don't Forget ....
I have the blog at gaia.com:
Click here to get there....
I spent some time answering the questions and reflections today.....
Showing posts with label questions and reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label questions and reflections. Show all posts
Saturday, May 30, 2009
UPdating Done Elsewhere
Don't Forget ....
I have the blog at gaia.com:
Click here to get there....
I spent some time answering the questions and reflections today.....
Monday, March 9, 2009
Questions and Reflections Catch-Up
If you were a colour, what would you be?
Original answer posted on Gaia:
Do I have to pick just one colour?
I keep looking at the paints I have set out before me today--and all the stones in the bracelets I am wearing--and then I have to say well what is my favourite colour (purples) to wear (blues)--and never one shade pops up--it's always several at a time.
I would be the ocean--a vast myriad of changing wavy swirls and swoops, blues and greens and pinks and purples and everything in between at one time or another.
Answering now:
More often than not, I am blue. Not in a sad way. There are no green-eyed blonde-haired blues here. I am the transitional azure skies blue. I am the sweeping indigo to ice blue swirls that surround the beaches. I am the blue glinting at your from the skin of tropical frogs and oceanic fishes. I am deep-sea blue, mixed with teal and turquoise, the underwater ambivalence to the upper drier world. I am not one shade of blue, but every shade of blue, hinted at, dreamed of, and pondered over, dancing on the winds of whispers, waiting for my time to shine.
What did you, or do you, like most about school?
In elementary school I loved everything about school—except the other children. I never could stand other children or their stupidity and/or their ignorance. I had friends and my friends are excluded from this—but overall—I hated the other people. They got in the way and they slowed things down—they held me back from really being able to learn everything I could learn—and I resented that.
In middle school and high school, the only redeeming factor about school was that I didn’t have to be at home. I had moved so much when I was younger that school literally presented me with nothing new to learn. I was so thrilled when I became a freshmen in high school and started to take French. Within two weeks I was learning more and better on my own out of class than I was in class. By the end of the first semester I could keep up with year two students. High school was when I sat down in class and wrote my own stuff and ignored what was going on in the class—and yes, I always got very high marks, even when I tried not to—until we hit the algebraic wall anyway. Then I just needed a decent teacher who did more than stare at the ceiling and say look at your book.
After high school, college classes and technical schools, well, I was just really happy when everything was done. There were some interesting evenings in massage therapy school, but overall it was a wasted experience. I was only almost happy during the first half of the first semester—and then there was really nothing else to learn except rote memorization of anatomy—which I’d been through before in other courses for other reasons.
What I love about my own education process—the whole self-taught self-led education that I have been giving myself since I was twelve years old and tired of the whole American school system thing—is the huge wide world waiting before me, old and new, everything spread out before me like a bountiful buffet. I can take my time. I can pick and choose. I can take my time, learn a little here and a little there. I can delve in deeply and become utterly absorbed and suck the marrow from the bones of any one topic—or many topics. I can skim over the top of things and just pick up what I need to know, leaving the rest for later. I can come back to a topic, after years of leaving it all sitting on a shelf. I can do whatever I want the way I want to do it—and it all sticks in my brain somewhere along the way. I have books that I have been reading for more than twenty years—as in I started reading it twenty years ago and I am still not finished reading the entire thing yet—and it’s ok—I am still aware of the beginning of the book all the way up to where I am in the book, every time I pick it up, even if I have to flip back and speed-read a little here and there to refresh my brain. I love that.
These days I prefer distance learning, things I can do at my own pace, in my own way, if I have to advocate something the rest of the country finds palatable. Personally I don’t care about certifications or associations or anything else, although I am trying hard to swallow the bilious fact that I need to pull all my old records together so that I can say—here’s where I’ve been and how I know how to do this and why—although most of my associations I would prefer to remain clandestine. Gods above, I don’t even want to admit who fathered my children in open public. I’ll widely tout my children—just not the biological donors responsible—not any of them.
How does your mind relate to your body?
This is sort of a weird question for me actually. For years, my heart and brain were disconnected from my body. It has been a slow integration process. Even now my body has reactions that I cannot figure out how to mentally assess or process. Things are more cohesive these days, but there is still a lot trapped in my musculature that I cannot wrap my brain around. Brain and body usually work well together these days, for the most part, but there are still quirks.
Where is your name from?
As far as I know, my dad picked it from the tv show Bewitched.
I do know my dad refused to allow my mom to name me, as was the custom in my mother’s family, Mary Catherine (the first daughter of the first daughter is always named Mary Catherine in my mother’s family).
I do know my middle name is my great-grandmother’s first name. Even though I change the spelling off and on out of sheer spite and force of will—it’s a matter of aesthetics with me.
I do know that there is a Tabitha in the Christian bible: Acts 9:36-42
Aramaic origin means gazelle. Somewhere along the line one of the readings I read, when I was about 10 or 11 said my name means beloved of God.
What is the first thought that crossed your mind this morning?
Same thought that crosses my mind every morning—how much longer can I sleep until I absolutely cannot stay in bed another second………
What motivates you the most?
I would love to say something pithy here—like my children—or society as a whole—or the desire to be a good person—but actually it is sheer stubbornness of will. I simply will not lay down and die—but I am not going to just sit still and wait for Death to approach either. I motivate me—I make me get up and do things—even if it takes awhile for me to really want to do them.
Original answer posted on Gaia:
Do I have to pick just one colour?
I keep looking at the paints I have set out before me today--and all the stones in the bracelets I am wearing--and then I have to say well what is my favourite colour (purples) to wear (blues)--and never one shade pops up--it's always several at a time.
I would be the ocean--a vast myriad of changing wavy swirls and swoops, blues and greens and pinks and purples and everything in between at one time or another.
Answering now:
More often than not, I am blue. Not in a sad way. There are no green-eyed blonde-haired blues here. I am the transitional azure skies blue. I am the sweeping indigo to ice blue swirls that surround the beaches. I am the blue glinting at your from the skin of tropical frogs and oceanic fishes. I am deep-sea blue, mixed with teal and turquoise, the underwater ambivalence to the upper drier world. I am not one shade of blue, but every shade of blue, hinted at, dreamed of, and pondered over, dancing on the winds of whispers, waiting for my time to shine.
What did you, or do you, like most about school?
In elementary school I loved everything about school—except the other children. I never could stand other children or their stupidity and/or their ignorance. I had friends and my friends are excluded from this—but overall—I hated the other people. They got in the way and they slowed things down—they held me back from really being able to learn everything I could learn—and I resented that.
In middle school and high school, the only redeeming factor about school was that I didn’t have to be at home. I had moved so much when I was younger that school literally presented me with nothing new to learn. I was so thrilled when I became a freshmen in high school and started to take French. Within two weeks I was learning more and better on my own out of class than I was in class. By the end of the first semester I could keep up with year two students. High school was when I sat down in class and wrote my own stuff and ignored what was going on in the class—and yes, I always got very high marks, even when I tried not to—until we hit the algebraic wall anyway. Then I just needed a decent teacher who did more than stare at the ceiling and say look at your book.
After high school, college classes and technical schools, well, I was just really happy when everything was done. There were some interesting evenings in massage therapy school, but overall it was a wasted experience. I was only almost happy during the first half of the first semester—and then there was really nothing else to learn except rote memorization of anatomy—which I’d been through before in other courses for other reasons.
What I love about my own education process—the whole self-taught self-led education that I have been giving myself since I was twelve years old and tired of the whole American school system thing—is the huge wide world waiting before me, old and new, everything spread out before me like a bountiful buffet. I can take my time. I can pick and choose. I can take my time, learn a little here and a little there. I can delve in deeply and become utterly absorbed and suck the marrow from the bones of any one topic—or many topics. I can skim over the top of things and just pick up what I need to know, leaving the rest for later. I can come back to a topic, after years of leaving it all sitting on a shelf. I can do whatever I want the way I want to do it—and it all sticks in my brain somewhere along the way. I have books that I have been reading for more than twenty years—as in I started reading it twenty years ago and I am still not finished reading the entire thing yet—and it’s ok—I am still aware of the beginning of the book all the way up to where I am in the book, every time I pick it up, even if I have to flip back and speed-read a little here and there to refresh my brain. I love that.
These days I prefer distance learning, things I can do at my own pace, in my own way, if I have to advocate something the rest of the country finds palatable. Personally I don’t care about certifications or associations or anything else, although I am trying hard to swallow the bilious fact that I need to pull all my old records together so that I can say—here’s where I’ve been and how I know how to do this and why—although most of my associations I would prefer to remain clandestine. Gods above, I don’t even want to admit who fathered my children in open public. I’ll widely tout my children—just not the biological donors responsible—not any of them.
How does your mind relate to your body?
This is sort of a weird question for me actually. For years, my heart and brain were disconnected from my body. It has been a slow integration process. Even now my body has reactions that I cannot figure out how to mentally assess or process. Things are more cohesive these days, but there is still a lot trapped in my musculature that I cannot wrap my brain around. Brain and body usually work well together these days, for the most part, but there are still quirks.
Where is your name from?
As far as I know, my dad picked it from the tv show Bewitched.
I do know my dad refused to allow my mom to name me, as was the custom in my mother’s family, Mary Catherine (the first daughter of the first daughter is always named Mary Catherine in my mother’s family).
I do know my middle name is my great-grandmother’s first name. Even though I change the spelling off and on out of sheer spite and force of will—it’s a matter of aesthetics with me.
I do know that there is a Tabitha in the Christian bible: Acts 9:36-42
Aramaic origin means gazelle. Somewhere along the line one of the readings I read, when I was about 10 or 11 said my name means beloved of God.
What is the first thought that crossed your mind this morning?
Same thought that crosses my mind every morning—how much longer can I sleep until I absolutely cannot stay in bed another second………
What motivates you the most?
I would love to say something pithy here—like my children—or society as a whole—or the desire to be a good person—but actually it is sheer stubbornness of will. I simply will not lay down and die—but I am not going to just sit still and wait for Death to approach either. I motivate me—I make me get up and do things—even if it takes awhile for me to really want to do them.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Reflecting
What could you never give up?
Kids excluded here--
I sat and I thought and thought about it--
at some point there is nothing I won't give up, nothing I won't walk away from.
I do have the capacity to sit up one morning and decide I've had enough--walk out of the house and never look back.
Long ago--I would have said my writing--but so? Donate it to some college or library or something.
Burn it. Whatever. I'll write more, wherever I go.
Clothes are clothes. Dogs are nice, but can be replaced.
The kids will follow me regardless, whether it be a month or a year, they will come for me.
I take it back--the one thing I won't give up ever again--is quite simply ME.
Kids excluded here--
I sat and I thought and thought about it--
at some point there is nothing I won't give up, nothing I won't walk away from.
I do have the capacity to sit up one morning and decide I've had enough--walk out of the house and never look back.
Long ago--I would have said my writing--but so? Donate it to some college or library or something.
Burn it. Whatever. I'll write more, wherever I go.
Clothes are clothes. Dogs are nice, but can be replaced.
The kids will follow me regardless, whether it be a month or a year, they will come for me.
I take it back--the one thing I won't give up ever again--is quite simply ME.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Today's Question
and then some too--since I found the Q&R for the Curious thanks to that email from Siona earlier. :-)
What does your body want to say to the world?
be free
breathe
live
explore
be free
What's your favorite insect?
praying mantis
how can one creature be so--meditatively engrossing while be able to scare the pants off small children, be such a good thing to have on hand to control unwanted insect populations and a creature only dreams may surround
If you could be anywhere but here, where?
Wales, deep and lost in the hills and the valleys, surrounded by sheep and the taste of sea smarting the breeze
If you have to leave Earth, what 5 things will you bring?
not counting kids or pets--
a pen with plenty of ink refills (do the refills count as one or each refill individually? or do we count ink along w the pen)
a blank journal
a comfortable pair of boots
a pair of knitting needles
my wedding ring set
What flower holds the most meaning for you?
there's a toss up
either the rose or honeysuckle
I love roses--and they hold way too much inference about the previous marriage I was in--it's a flower of hope and majesty and just perfection on so many levels to me.....
but
honeysuckle always evokes such a positive sense of well-being and bliss in me--it is the scent of all things good
and it is pretty darned tasty too in a variety of forms
Why did you choose your profile picture?
My gaia profile pic is my fave octopus seen right at the top of this blog--my blue-ringed baby.
This is also the tattoo--the exact (fairly much--this picture was the template) image of my tattoo--
There are so many things I could say about this creature--but there is so much I would prefer to keep to myself.
This creature is me--on far too many levels. See me and be warned--even though if you pass the test you will never find anyone more devoted.......
This octopus is also my guardian and my teacher--how can I deny that?
What does your body want to say to the world?
be free
breathe
live
explore
be free
What's your favorite insect?
praying mantis
how can one creature be so--meditatively engrossing while be able to scare the pants off small children, be such a good thing to have on hand to control unwanted insect populations and a creature only dreams may surround
If you could be anywhere but here, where?
Wales, deep and lost in the hills and the valleys, surrounded by sheep and the taste of sea smarting the breeze
If you have to leave Earth, what 5 things will you bring?
not counting kids or pets--
a pen with plenty of ink refills (do the refills count as one or each refill individually? or do we count ink along w the pen)
a blank journal
a comfortable pair of boots
a pair of knitting needles
my wedding ring set
What flower holds the most meaning for you?
there's a toss up
either the rose or honeysuckle
I love roses--and they hold way too much inference about the previous marriage I was in--it's a flower of hope and majesty and just perfection on so many levels to me.....
but
honeysuckle always evokes such a positive sense of well-being and bliss in me--it is the scent of all things good
and it is pretty darned tasty too in a variety of forms
Why did you choose your profile picture?
My gaia profile pic is my fave octopus seen right at the top of this blog--my blue-ringed baby.
This is also the tattoo--the exact (fairly much--this picture was the template) image of my tattoo--
There are so many things I could say about this creature--but there is so much I would prefer to keep to myself.
This creature is me--on far too many levels. See me and be warned--even though if you pass the test you will never find anyone more devoted.......
This octopus is also my guardian and my teacher--how can I deny that?
Interesting
How interesting that today when I woke up--no--when I finally made it to my computer after the kids woke up and I was able to reach my livid little box--I had an email (not to me personally -- but to the entire group) from Siona and it had a bunch of the daily questions that I had missed--and links to the responses.
Well, since i missed the original releases I think I will tackle them now, just because. Or at least some of them anyway. :-)
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?
This question is very interesting. Especially w yesterday my birthday and my friend picking on me about getting old.
Funny how time lines run in my life and I never really have that worry some people have of time running out.
Here I am nearly 40 and I am not that close to having my life's dream--although I am closer now than I have been in a long time.
I would not like to be a child again--because there is no freedom there.
I would not like to be a teen-ager again, unless I take with me the knowledge I have now and I continue to build upon that.
I would not want to be in my 20s again. Simply because that is when I died.
So far my 30s haven't been the greatest, but this is the best time in my life thus far.
I want to appear young--but not too young, physically--somewhere in the Mother range of the Maid-Mother-Crone aspect--but not too young. Somewhere in the range of 35-45--and just let it be. And then of course--the rest is just Timeless and left on to be.
What do you think about 2012?
It's just a day, like any other.
Whether it turns into the end of times a la Terminator or whether the planet implodes--not much to be done in any direction.
Things have to happen.
Life in some form or fashion will continue to go on.
What does happiness smell like?
for me, somewhere in the range of fresh baked bread, rose petals and honeysuckle in bloom.......
I'll have to post a sample of my hand-writing later on--since i have about 7 different writing styles (I'm not joking--check out my journals--and that's just cursive--) I have to decide what to post--the clear and well-modulated version--or the scribble and scrawl version that has lately become my normal preference......
Well, since i missed the original releases I think I will tackle them now, just because. Or at least some of them anyway. :-)
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?
This question is very interesting. Especially w yesterday my birthday and my friend picking on me about getting old.
Funny how time lines run in my life and I never really have that worry some people have of time running out.
Here I am nearly 40 and I am not that close to having my life's dream--although I am closer now than I have been in a long time.
I would not like to be a child again--because there is no freedom there.
I would not like to be a teen-ager again, unless I take with me the knowledge I have now and I continue to build upon that.
I would not want to be in my 20s again. Simply because that is when I died.
So far my 30s haven't been the greatest, but this is the best time in my life thus far.
I want to appear young--but not too young, physically--somewhere in the Mother range of the Maid-Mother-Crone aspect--but not too young. Somewhere in the range of 35-45--and just let it be. And then of course--the rest is just Timeless and left on to be.
What do you think about 2012?
It's just a day, like any other.
Whether it turns into the end of times a la Terminator or whether the planet implodes--not much to be done in any direction.
Things have to happen.
Life in some form or fashion will continue to go on.
What does happiness smell like?
for me, somewhere in the range of fresh baked bread, rose petals and honeysuckle in bloom.......
I'll have to post a sample of my hand-writing later on--since i have about 7 different writing styles (I'm not joking--check out my journals--and that's just cursive--) I have to decide what to post--the clear and well-modulated version--or the scribble and scrawl version that has lately become my normal preference......
Friday, February 27, 2009
Questions And Reflections
Gaia.com has a questions and reflections message and I receive it every single day. I used to try to answer them when the mood struck me, long ago. Then I stopped, for whatever reason.
Then I decided about a week ago I wanted to do more--I wanted to start answering them again.
I have no idea what happened to my account when they transformed from zaadz to gaia--but I haven't been able to log in since the change--but that's ok--because I opened a new account and I am pretty happy with things again. I like gaia even better than zaadz--though I am in no way knocking zaadz.
What I am trying to say is--I am planning to bring the questions here--simply because this is the one place I always come back to in a timely manner--eventually anyway. :-)
I didn't put the date with these questions--they are all recent. I simply wrote the question down on my thinking pad and went on with my day. I have answered several of them in my head already, but as yet have not put anything down in print.
I can not promise really long keen cool answers to any or every question--I will just answer with what comes up for me. Sometimes that brings up more stuff later on. Sometimes it doesn't.
The question with which I am beginning is this one:
Where did you come from?
Truly? Everywhere and nowhere.
I come from in between the stacks of books in every library in every town.
I come from between every flip of film in every movie I have seen and not seen, every one I have been in, and been away from.
I come from within my own mind and my own brain--from within the calm still pool near the kelpie's pond, from the burned out hollow of a log where lightning struck, from where the volcanoes belch into the seas, from the morning's mist and the monsoon's poisons.
I come here.
I'm not yet sure where else to go.
What will I never regret?
Giving birth to all my children, regardless of the people in my life at any time.
What is one thing that there are no words for?
There are always words, even if the words are insufficient. If you can't find the words in one language, try looking in another. There are always ways to express the inexpressible.
What have you been carrying the longest?
It's a toss-up between Guilt and Shame.
Where is your favorite place to hide?
Inside myself.
In a big wide crowded room full of people.
In a small room with not many people.
In the grocery store.
In the woods.
In my dreams.
What kind of angel would you want to be?
I like this one; it's funny and quirky. It made me think--and shows how funny and quirky I am. And not funny haha either.
I would not want to be an angel at all. There are too many rules and regulations associated with being an angel.
I'd rather be a fairy. But not a fairy god-mother or anything--because then we still get stuck in the whole rules things.
Fairies can pretty much do what they want--they can be utterly rude and cruel and careless--and beautiful and striking and charming. All at the same time. I can be hateful and loving in one breath. That's the easy part.
If I were an angel, I'd be a solitary angel. I'd have to go away from everyone else, all their problems and troubles, their rules and attitudes. I'd have to go sit and ponder all day and watch the world go on and on.
What type of weather are you wishing for today?
Better ask me where I want the weather to be happening first. :-)
I would love a nice spring day, a little chilled, but a little warm. But only only at my house. I want a blizzard to cover all my neighbours. It sounds very unfriendly, but the neighbourhood kids (only two of them) mess with the dog and encourage her not only to hurt herself (she's on a lead as the backyard isn't fenced in all the way yet), as well as her bad habits like jumping, mouthing and barking--which we work so darned hard to make her stop here before she hurts one of the kids--mostly N.
If we were in a different house, I would say let it snow and let's light the fireplace and snuggle. Different house--different state--different country.
As things stand--it's cold and rainy and freezy. And that's ok too.
What is a must and a must not?
This one seems to speak more to one's personal ethical and moral boundaries--what I must do is not the same as what you must do--and so on.
Some of these boundaries of my own I am unaware of until I come up upon them -- sometimes my own boundaries surprise me.
We must do as our conscious guides us, to do or not to do.
Share the story of your life, using only six words.
Here I am, ready to go.
Then I decided about a week ago I wanted to do more--I wanted to start answering them again.
I have no idea what happened to my account when they transformed from zaadz to gaia--but I haven't been able to log in since the change--but that's ok--because I opened a new account and I am pretty happy with things again. I like gaia even better than zaadz--though I am in no way knocking zaadz.
What I am trying to say is--I am planning to bring the questions here--simply because this is the one place I always come back to in a timely manner--eventually anyway. :-)
I didn't put the date with these questions--they are all recent. I simply wrote the question down on my thinking pad and went on with my day. I have answered several of them in my head already, but as yet have not put anything down in print.
I can not promise really long keen cool answers to any or every question--I will just answer with what comes up for me. Sometimes that brings up more stuff later on. Sometimes it doesn't.
The question with which I am beginning is this one:
Where did you come from?
Truly? Everywhere and nowhere.
I come from in between the stacks of books in every library in every town.
I come from between every flip of film in every movie I have seen and not seen, every one I have been in, and been away from.
I come from within my own mind and my own brain--from within the calm still pool near the kelpie's pond, from the burned out hollow of a log where lightning struck, from where the volcanoes belch into the seas, from the morning's mist and the monsoon's poisons.
I come here.
I'm not yet sure where else to go.
What will I never regret?
Giving birth to all my children, regardless of the people in my life at any time.
What is one thing that there are no words for?
There are always words, even if the words are insufficient. If you can't find the words in one language, try looking in another. There are always ways to express the inexpressible.
What have you been carrying the longest?
It's a toss-up between Guilt and Shame.
Where is your favorite place to hide?
Inside myself.
In a big wide crowded room full of people.
In a small room with not many people.
In the grocery store.
In the woods.
In my dreams.
What kind of angel would you want to be?
I like this one; it's funny and quirky. It made me think--and shows how funny and quirky I am. And not funny haha either.
I would not want to be an angel at all. There are too many rules and regulations associated with being an angel.
I'd rather be a fairy. But not a fairy god-mother or anything--because then we still get stuck in the whole rules things.
Fairies can pretty much do what they want--they can be utterly rude and cruel and careless--and beautiful and striking and charming. All at the same time. I can be hateful and loving in one breath. That's the easy part.
If I were an angel, I'd be a solitary angel. I'd have to go away from everyone else, all their problems and troubles, their rules and attitudes. I'd have to go sit and ponder all day and watch the world go on and on.
What type of weather are you wishing for today?
Better ask me where I want the weather to be happening first. :-)
I would love a nice spring day, a little chilled, but a little warm. But only only at my house. I want a blizzard to cover all my neighbours. It sounds very unfriendly, but the neighbourhood kids (only two of them) mess with the dog and encourage her not only to hurt herself (she's on a lead as the backyard isn't fenced in all the way yet), as well as her bad habits like jumping, mouthing and barking--which we work so darned hard to make her stop here before she hurts one of the kids--mostly N.
If we were in a different house, I would say let it snow and let's light the fireplace and snuggle. Different house--different state--different country.
As things stand--it's cold and rainy and freezy. And that's ok too.
What is a must and a must not?
This one seems to speak more to one's personal ethical and moral boundaries--what I must do is not the same as what you must do--and so on.
Some of these boundaries of my own I am unaware of until I come up upon them -- sometimes my own boundaries surprise me.
We must do as our conscious guides us, to do or not to do.
Share the story of your life, using only six words.
Here I am, ready to go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)