The Knitting Journeyman

Gathering Up One Thread At A Time As I Weave This Web Of Mine.....

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A Legacy Project

            A legacy.  That is what first caught my eye.  Funny how as you get older, things start to take on a different meaning.  Even when I was younger, my one real fear was that someday I would become famous and someone would go digging around in my background, in  my past…some things should always remain hidden and undiscussed.  Even if, I swear to you, I know evidence can be found somewhere online, illegally and completely without my permission.  But that’s me.  Always in the Underground.
            I keep finding the Universe poking me, poking me in different directions, in different ways.  It all leads to the same thing though.  One push is to live my life for me.  To live every day, as if I have nothing to lose.  As if I have everything to gain.  One beautiful resource I love that keeps me moving forward is 37 Days by Patti Digh. She wrote a book called, ‘Life Is A Verb’.  She keeps me heading out in the right direction for me, when I start to forget who I am and who I want to be, when I get caught up in the drudgery of one day schlumping into another.
            I am currently reading ‘The Power Of Less’ by Leo Babauta.  It is a short simple book, which is quite possibly why I am struggling through it and with it.  The simple things always seem to me to be the hardest, because they say what I need to hear.  I am currently on chapter 11.  I tend to read in batches…I won’t touch the book for days, except to drag it w me wherever I go in order to have it there if I want to read it…then I will read 4 or 5 chapters at a go…and start to apply things to my life.
            One thing Leo says to do is to find those three most important goals you need to accomplish in a day.  It can be applied to a much longer period…where do you want to go in the next year?  Then, you set up every day, every goal every day, to do something small towards the larger long-term goal.  I am learning to like that.  It also seems to go hand in hand with the book that I have still not finished, ‘A Writer’s Space’ by Eric Maisel.  If you want to write, you write.  You stop letting the distractions get to you.
            So, I come upon this Legacy Project.  At just the right time.  Dixie Carter, whom I love dearly and whose unworkout videos have stuck with me all these years since I first stumbled upon them, died at the age of 70 recently.  One friend said that that is young for this day and age.  I am close to 40.  Does that mean I have only 30 years left in which to do things?  Thirty years doesn’t really seem like all that long when you look at how miserable and confused my first 30 years were.  It’s not that Miss Dixie’s death brought these thoughts out unbidden; they’ve been stewing through my brain for years and years.  But between her passing and my finding the Legacy Project…and me being in the middle of re-ordering and re-organizing my life, and actually having a real life of my own where I get to be me…everything struck at just the right time.
            In order to commence a Legacy Project, you need to begin with your Legacy Goal.  Now, my goal, ever since I was a child, has been to be a writer.  Well, hello, je suis ecrivain!  If I weren’t a writer…would you be reading this right now?  But I am also a great many other things as well.  An artist.  A priest.  A teacher.  I was not surprised by myself when I wrote down Published Writer as my legacy goal…I was, however, taken aback a bit by what I wrote a few seconds later, after looking at my writing goal and feeling it just wasn’t quite right…’teaching through my writing?’  What exactly does that mean?  To me?  Personally?
            Now, I do like to write things, like various recipes, or seasoning the cast iron cookware, or how we are raising our rascally rabbits, that border on the educational.  I like to tell people how I did it wrong so they can do it right.  Plus, when I get something right, I actually like to share my accomplishments.  Even after all these years, me doing something right the first time, and not finding the absolute hardest way to do it, is something of a miracle.
            So, this is a topic I am going to have to revisit, this Legacy Project.  It brought stuff up I didn’t realize was there.  Despite the fact I have been saying for what, four, five years, I was going to go through Waldorf Education Training at some point. 
What?  With my opinion of public schools, you thought I would become a mainstream public school teacher?  No, thank you.  Working from within the system obviously does not work.  I shall simply work within another system that does work, for many, and stand as an offering for something other than the mainstream.  You do realize I am the queen of getting the training and then not pursuing it, right?  Real Estate.  Yoga.  Meditation.  Massage Therapy.  Yada.  Yada.  Who said I was going to be a teacher—to anyone other than my own kids?
I am a writer.  I am an artist.  I am a teacher.  What exactly does this mean in relation to my goals?  What exactly are my goals?  And why?
            I do believe there are going to be a great many interesting conversations coming soon.  I am grateful to Alexa Ispas for bringing this topic into my world.