Friday I used a TriYoga w Kali Ray dvd. I have had these dvds for quite awhile. I bought them from the Half Price bookstore in Pittsburgh…along w many other things. My Yoga practice has been iffy, off and on, for years now. I gave up any sort of exercise while I was so sick in WV. Since we moved to this side of the river, all those illnesses and lethargies have surrendered me and have moved on. My allergies are kicking my butt. I still have strange menstrual issues since the miscarriage. But otherwise, I’ve been blessed and been very healthy.
It’s only been recently that it dawned on me between the miscarriage and R having been gone on ski trips, plus normal winter weight gain, I’ve put on my weight than I like…which for me is always an issue…once an anorexic, always an anorexic…so I have to be very careful about what I do and how I do it. I don’t do drastic dieting because of my pat history w eating disorders. It doesn’t help that we go out to eat as often as we do…but w warmer weather comes grilling…and we here would grill out every day if we could…Last week, I decided that I would get back into my Yoga practice.
Those first days were heinous. I think all of my reserves have been gone for a very long time. The best thing about Yoga, however, is the body memory. I used to do Yoga for up to three hours per day. It’s what saved my life and my soul during that marriage. The first day I did Yoga, I did a forty minute asana practice.
Wait. Let me take a step back. It has been my asana practice that has suffered recently. I still do the breathing, although I do not do as much as I should…I still do many other things…it is my asana practice that has really suffered. I have chosen to step my asana practice back up.
The first two days were really sad for me. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to work out, or how much flexibility I had given up. I know I have been hanging on to the baby weight, hoping on some level to swing it over into the next pregnancy…I so want to have another baby since the miscarriage that I have had a couple false pregnancy (Queen Rabbit all over, yes) …and that hasn’t helped me in any way either.
So, I decided I was going to do Yoga every day—except for the week-end when N is here, although, if I pick the right dvd, or if I do it in my room, he’s good and will go through the postures w me…
And now, back to the Kali Ray dvd. I believe it was the ‘strengthening’ dvd. Now, we had borrowed the Yoga for kids dvd, while we were still in WV. The whole rhythm was far too slow for my kids. So we never really pursued that angle for them. I didn’t really think about that when I started this dvd.
At first, everything was really …slow. Of course, my monkey mind was going back and forth, wondering when we’d be picking up the pace…when there was this *click*…my body released even more into one position, a position I thought very basic, and it hit me…there is no need to rush…there is no need to hurry…there is no need to pick up the pace. This is the perfect movement, the perfect timing. Open up and allow it.
The dvd case says something along the lines of ten Yoga flows…and since this is considered Kundalini Yoga…I was expecting more vibrant moving and breathing…since that had been my experience w Kundalini Yoga in the past. I was expecting something more along the lines of a Sun Salutation series, maybe. I’m not sure. No. It was ten positions. Held for a certain length of time. It was not all holding a position; there was movement. But the gentleness of it, the depth of it…it was really astounding. I quite enjoyed it. I was surprised.