Poetic Asides Is Back

Yes, it is April.  Not only is it Autism Awareness month--it is Poetry Awareness Month.
Robert Lee Brewer is again hosting our daily sojourn into poetry w a bevy of prompts.


Here is the 2010 April PAD Challenge for Day 1:

(untitled)

My poor kid

Alone in the bathroom

At the quickie mart

Trying to get out

The door snaps shut

Too fast

Trapping her finger in the jam

I try not to freak out

When I see the odd angle

At which her finger seems to hang

I try to breathe

And not rip holes in the dash

As my lover drives us

To the emergency room

Fast so fast

But not fast enough

To soothe this mother’s heart

I can’t take the pain away

From my darling little girl

I think that hurts me most of all

If only I hadn’t been sick to my stomach

And in need of ginger ale

We’d have stayed in the car

While Dad pumped the gas

I can’t help her deal

All I can do is be there

It’s just not enough for me

Poetic Asides Catch Up

Poetic Asides 053 July 15, 2009

The Big Event


Patience-
So not my virtue-
Waiting
Fifteen days-
Counting down-
Now ten-
Now nine-
Seven more to go-
All these ideas
These dreams in my head-
All swarming around-
He’s upset at the
Possibility-
But I’m thrilled-
Which scares him
Even more-
We’re all waiting
Around
For the big event
The perfect time
The time for us
To take the test
So we can know
For sure
Are we pregnant
Or not

Nobody's Worth This Much Pain

poetic asides prompt 051

Nobody is worth this much pain
Not for me
There is no sense in spending so much time
Curled up in my bed
Alone in the dark
Sobbing because you’re not here
And I can’t go there
No matter how much I want to
There is no sense at all
In my wanting to pick up the phone and call
Just to talk about things,
Just to cool down after a harsh incident,
And not being able to
Due to circumstances beyond my control.
There is no sense
In sinking my teeth into your shoulder
At that very precarious moment
And having to stop myself
Because the no marks rule is still in effect
There is no reason I have to hurt like this
There is no reason you have to hurt like this
I know it can’t be easy on you
Carrying this burden
This stinking carcass of an old worn-out horse
Over your shoulder.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Not between us.
All you have to do is put that old horse down
And walk away.
It’s the best thing you can do
For everyone involved.
There’s a bigger picture here.
It’s not just you and me.
There are other people.
Other forces.
Everything all around.
All you have to do is let go
Of that one thing
And then reach out,
Take my hand and hold on tight.
Watch the magic commence.

Summer

Poetic Asides Prompt 050



The sun burns down
Crisping frying
Flaying the little darling greens alive
I for one am not amused
Let me crawl back
Deep Into my cave
To await the
Autumn’s breeze

A Million Dollars

Poetic Asides Prompt 049



What do you mean,
I’ve won a million dollars?
Wasn’t I just joking about that
Earlier, this very afternoon?
What would I do?
What am I going to do?
Pay off my house.
Pay off my lover’s house.
Buy us a whole new house.
Buy my mother a house.
Pay off Ma’s debt,
And my lover’s too.
Put money away for all the kids
To go to school.
Figure out what I have left.
Give half to my lover.
Set up my ranch.
Buy the seeds, the animals,
The works.
Put enough money in savings
To keep us afloat
For awhile.
Whatever’s left
Goes into the business,
Making it whole,
More sound.
Buy more equipment,
Including the blow torch,
And that wet wheel….
Smile, a lot.
Smile, some more.
Give as much as I can to those
Who really need it
And who will actually
Use it.
There is no waste,
No blowing it,
Not here.
That’s all I want to do.
That’s what I will do,
Million dollars or not.
The million just makes it all happen
So much faster.

Poetry On Wednesday

Poetic Asides 047 Prompt

Curiosity Killed The Cat

Tip-toe into the room
Black as pitch
And all left alone
What do you see
When you look out
Into the dark
Do you see me
Do you feel me
Standing here
Waiting
To catch you
To tease you
To eat you
Whole alive and throbbing
Kicking and screaming
Oh boo hoo
The kitty car died
Should have minded
His own business
Instead of mine

Wednesday Poetry Prompt From Poetic Asides

Prompt number 046

I Love You

I love you…
I know this is a life-changing event…
I believe in destiny…
That we are fated to be,
To live and to die
In one another’s; arms.
How truly enchanted we are,
This torrid love affair
From which my greatest happiness springs.
My safety net against the rigors of a world
I could do without and would if only I could.
Why then do I lay my head down at night,
With tears crowding my eyes,
Choking back sobs that will not come,
Sorrow pounding against my rib cage
Like a daemon trying to escape.
What brings out this fear?
This terror?
What makes the voices whisper
Such vicious little lies
About how maybe I am not the one
That you will choose in the end?
Why is it that such bliss
All too quickly comes crashing down
Severing my heart from my head
And making me wish this were over
That I had packed a bag and run away?
Will this ever stop
So that I can merely relax in
Bask in the love
Your gentleness?
When will you let me win?

Nearly Forgot-It Is Wednesday

Poetic Asides Prompt 045

Unexpected


Unexpected things happen….
Like being forced to drive in a snowstorm,
Trying to get home….
Hitting an icy patch,
Nearly dying
When the truck flips over…
Strange things occur…
Like the brilliant synchronicity
That comes
When I say something…
I wonder what pen I should use here,
And someone unknown posts a blurb
About the best pens
She has ever used.
I am not unaccustomed
To the weird and unique.
I pretty much fit that bill….
Nothing is so untoward and off-key
As my failure to see
You
Standing there as you were
For so very long…
I don’t know why
I could not see,
Did not dare…
I lie…
I know why…
It was fear…
I was unworthy…
And I knew it…
Really…
And yet,
Here you are,
Completely comfortable,
Loving me…
Some days the shock is so big
It takes my breath away…
I am so grateful…

Poetic Asides Prompt 044

Don’t You Stop


Don’t you stop loving me
Don’t you turn away
Stop trusting me
Stop talking to me
It’s not something
I can learn to fathom
I cannot see
How to survive
That change in you
You have been my
Main support
For far too long
You made me open up
You broke away all the scar tissue
That burdened my heart
You got in
Dug your way in
Don’t you turn on me now
I’d never believe in myself
Again

Poetic Asides Day 30

Bye-Bye Now

I don’t really know you that well
I’ve never really had much affinity
You’ve always been too reserved
Too something not quite there
Not quite the thorn in my paw
That you really are now
But I don’t have to deal with you
I may have to see you
Every now and then
I may be pleasant
As ever I was
To your face
I don’t hold grudges
But I know you will
I could say all sorts of things
Some mean
Some nice
But in the end it is all the same
You didn’t mean anything to me
From the start
Why would you mean
Anything now
So walk on off
And curse to yourself
That part of your life is over and gone
And this is all me and mine now

Poetic Asides Day 29

Never Again


Never again
It sounds so contrite
So cliché
But I mean it
Even as I say
Once more
Never again will I believe you
Over me
No matter whom you are
Never again will I distrust myself
Never again will I look away
Never betray myself
My own soul
Never again will I give up
And walk away
Quietly
There will always be a fight
Never again will I sink down at night
Sobbing in tears and frustration
Because I gave up
When I should have held
Strong
Never again
Never never
I have grown too strong

Poetic Asides Day 28

Seeking the Muse



I am nothing more than the roar of the dragon
Whipping away on the wings on the raven
Sailing at dawn into the moon
Eyes closed and mouth full of silver
To have the means to pay my muse
To get me across that river

Setting down I find myself standing at the river
Driven on by daemons inside bursting forth the dragon
Slams into heart and soul and pushes forth the raven
Leaving me stranded in the noon searching for the moon
Penniless now after the gulp of fear I am without my silver
There in the middle of the wake stands my pitiless muse

She laughs at me, my terrible muse
Pointing in dread she says I must swim the river
Must come to her breathing fire like the dragon
Dipping toes into the waves like the glow of the feather of the raven
Looking down I see I am the flow beneath the moon
Enchanting by the way my hair melts and seems like silver

Gleaming oozing tendrils like snakes of silver
Dangling from my shoulders reaching for my muse
In supplication as I deny the urge to fly into the river
Arms open wide, praying to land on the back of the dragon
So he can fly me to the other side, him or the raven
Standing there perched in the tree reflected back at me by the moon

It is not to be as I watch the clouds hide from me the moon
Standing by with clouds in my eyes as my body turns to silver
I soften and dissolve mixing into the waters to seek my muse
Becoming as one with the currents of the river
Flowing back and forth holding to the whiskers of the water dragon
Who whirls through the waters unhindered with the same grace as the raven

Winging through the breeze the stately man gracing the bridge that raven
Silhouetted in the gleam as he calls out to the moon
With filigrees and bows of silver
Clinging to his back as he climbs astride my muse
To merge and disintegrate as did I in the river
Where I am lost again with only my dragon

For company, are they not the same this dragon and raven
For pray for me in song to the moon for silver
That I might be delivered to my muse at the river

Poetic Asides Day 27

I wrote three poems for this prompt this morning.
The first one is way way too raw to let the public see. Maybe some time later I will gather all the things I've written for R and publish them in one volume. I will include that poem then. But I can't do that now.

This is the second poem. This is the one I posted on the Poetic Asides site.



Wish


My heart aches
Sitting here
Watching you
Hurt
Worry
Nothing I can do
No matter
How much
I want to


This is the last one. I was writing all the poems today while I was on a call from work--which is why 2 was finished after 3--and why 3 is not my best work.

Take 3 (currently Untitled other than that)

Drips and spots of rain do fall
Making mud of Mother Earth
The dog goes out
And plays around
With burrs and bits
Trapped in her fur
She smells
Atrocious
And thinks she rules us
Can’t give her a bath
No matter how much I desire
Until the rains stop
And the ground dries up
Else we have to bath her
Every five minutes
To keep her clean
For once I can say
I’d like it not to rain
Just long enough
To justify
Washing the dog clean
Just so she smells better


The dog just needs a bath-and I don't want to wash her when she'll go right outside and basically roll in the mud because she had a bath. It keeps raining--which is a good thing, especially for my plants, but not for the dog's butt. She smells. It is not so bad yet that I will ignore the mud factor. Nor is it so bad yet that I will call my newest tattoo healed enough to dunk her and scrub her and do all that needs to be done to reach her skin through that overly-thick pelt of hers--at least on her backside. The rest isn't so difficult, mostly.

I long to give that darn dog a bath--yes. :-)

Poetic Asides Day 26

No Miscommunication


I keep trying to tell you
Words don’t really mean much
If you don’t back them up
With the things you do
The things I see
The actions you take
You need to walk your talk
That sort of thing
Here’s what I hear
From you
I love you
I want to fix things
I won’t give up
Now
What I see
It must have been weeks ago
When you found out
You had the tickets
Coming
It didn’t come up in
Any conversation
Because it’s just not your thing
Then this Wednesday
You decide to
Bite the bullet
And test me
See if I will jump
You ask me to go
With you
If I want to go
To spend time together
With you
But you don’t reply to my email on Friday
You don’t take any of my calls
When you do get around to calling me
That same night
After an hour or so
You already have another guy
Slated to go with you
To something you have always said
You have no interest in
Am I missing something
Or do your actions
Scream
What your words belie
I am so not
Your fall-back guy
Anymore
And you are the real reason
Why

Poetic Asides Day 25

Hands Fasted


Traveling he comes
The priest into town
To bind us all
One to one
We stand in crowd
And stand our ground
Til cords wrapped
Are set free
Our turn comes
For a year of bliss
Let us pray
It holds for true
One more day
And everlast
That’s my love
For you

Poetic Asides Day 24

Moving


I woke up this morning
Swimming in a good space
The sheets were soft against my skin
The air was gentle
Blowing scents of flowers
Over me
I had to move
Finally
Had to get out of bed
I had to call you
You know what was said
Hiking down off my mountain
Into the here and now
It hurts and it sucks
Now so full of dread
These serious talks
Can’t we move on instead
But then we were done
And a swan song began
In the back of my head
I strolled on again
Whistling my way
Back into
My blissful state
Of awakening

Poetic Asides Day 23

One More Time


I said I would never
Never
Have any regrets
Long term
That may be so
But right now
Today
I hate that phone
I hate the circumstances
I want to go Home
Alone
To curl up
Cry cry cry
Never again
Do I seek to ponder
Have to wonder
Why
I do these things
To myself

Poetic Asides Day 22

Working


The phone is ringing
I drop the pencil
Push past the glue
And paint
To grab it
Spouting off my
Opening phrase
Without a thought
Talking talking
Assessing
Evaluating
Clearing energetically
As I sketch and draw
And signify
All life on hold
For the duration
Calls over
Take a step back
Breathe in deep
Grounding myself out
Back to my project
Til the phone
Rings
Again

Poetic Asides Day 21

I submitted One to the Poetic Asides site this morning.
I read something yesterday--I didn't realize until now--that hurt me, a great deal. It brought up alot of , pain, for me--about the child I was, about my own children.
I did my usual thing and I stuffed it, way down deep, so I wouldn't have to deal with it.
I can no longer hide--not even from myself, these days.
I awoke this morning, smiling and content.
Then I started to think--my daughter's room looks like --well, like monsters had a party and tore the place to pieces. I have removed toys. I have offered direction. I have made threats, offered bribes--even offering to get her coveted nintendo ds which I feel rivals the end of civilization--yet to no avail. That led me down the path of my room when I was her age--as it was the same condition--but for vastly vastly different reasons. VASTLY.
The reasons mine was such a mess happened to surface--which led me to a particular memory that still gives me nightmares to this day--and is the one reason I may go to jail for protecting animals that cannot protect themselves one day--and why I so want to have the Rescue Ranch one day.....
Hey--look at the amount of stuff I am figuring out about myself today.
Think I am going to stop now. :-)



One

Awaken to beauty
Thinking then
Day all shot to hell

Two

Woke up happy
Memories
Forced their way in
Uneasy now

Three


Open my eyes to the sun
Darkness follows
Drifting memory lane


Four


Open to the sun
Bursting with beauty and trust
One dead man kills all


Five


Can’t quite stop shaking
Memories drifting too fast
Ax falls—darkness claims

Poetic Asides Day 20

Mentioning


Shall we mention
A new lease on life
Maybe
A phoenix
Screaming up
From the flames
Why go to
All those
Lengths
I fall asleep
Smiling and content
I awaken
Happy and smiling
Surrounded
By your scent
Your touch
Lingering
Upon my skin
I am
Suffused
With your breath
I am renewed
I am reblessed
I am Home
You have given
Me
New life
New love
New joys
Thank you