The Knitting Journeyman

Gathering Up One Thread At A Time As I Weave This Web Of Mine.....

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Look At Me Now

First, how do you like the new look for the blog?

Let me apologise to everyone who has given me an award: they are not gone--they still stand in the original posts. Things were getting too cluttered for me, so I decided to pare back on things. I mean no disrespect and I am still very grateful for each and every single award. I am very proud to have been chosen by such wonderful people as having some sort of impact on them. And on the world at large.

I have done a little house-keeping here and there on a number of blogs, and in my own home as well. Things are in the process of a huge shifting. I am no longer feeling overwhelmed or unsure about myself or about things. Better things are coming my way. That big clear clean wind is blowing. This is only the first of many lovely things to come.

I cannot believe how quickly my life can turn around. But it has. I have removed the yokes that have held me in place, that I allowed to hold me in place, and I am moving forward. I am the snowflake at the top of the mountain that becomes the torrent of avalanche as it speeds to the bottom. I know I am landing happy and content at the end of this turn here.

Last year, I struggled for months to save money to buy things for our homeschooling process. I never quite had enough to get everything I wanted all at once. This year, I ordered not only this year's supplies in total, but some other extra supplies in case the girl progresses faster than expected, things that would have had to have waited until next year had I continued upon the same path I was on in early June of this year.

I love Christopherus Homeschool Resources. I bought the pre-kindergarten series, the kindergarten series, and the first grade syllabus and series before we left MO to move to MD. We have used them. I had no idea how much I used the philosophies I had garnered from Donna's books until I picked up the first grade syllabus a week or so ago, in order to find out where we have been really slacking and the best way to improve things. Well, despite my lax adherence to daily rhythms, we have been doing much better than I expected. We are a bit behind on the art and movement. I know E needs more history. But otherwise, we do seem solid. E has a third grade mathematics comprehension level. She can do simple multiplication and division now, and R does have alot to do with that. He is also pressing her in her reading, and there are times when we really catch on to the fact that she reads much better than she lets anyone think. She is not up to reading all of Lestat's adventures yet, but she is getting there.

I am pretty proud of myself w the Christopherus order. Not only did I get the second grade syllabus, but I also grabbed a cook book, several art books, the living language book and some other things. I am very excited for them to get here so we can begin. :-)

I have had E working through the primer level of mathusee's program, in order to familiarize her w their system. I had forgotten we had this. I had it stuck on a bookshelf in the storage room so I wouldn't forget it. E is rather frustrated w the primer level. It is way too beneath her current range and she bores easily. I keep explaining she is having to learn how to use their block system so she will be ready when alpha and beta get here. Again, primer is something I ordered before we left MO for MD. This was in a box at my mother's for the longest time; whereas I had the christopherus stuff w me in the apartment in WV, after a trip or two to Ma's (thank you, Dad) to grab essentials and whatnot. The mathusee stuff got rolled when the truck went head over heels in Nov 08.

Now, on top of the regular we ordered curriculum stuff, I also decided to do some things for us and for me. Since I am on the phone so much w clients (and yes, I am on the phone more now than I was before--now add more time w more money and see why I am able this year to actually buy curriculum outright like this) and because my kids ruined the living room rug--and now my den is rather cluttered and dense--and I am made nervous by the whole mouse issue--I decided I needed to buy some actual work-out equipment. I always love stationary bikes. So I figured I'd get a bike. I started my research and discovered that not only were recumbent bikes healthier for your back (etc), they also seemed to be more quiet than regular upright bikes. So, I started looking at recumbent bikes. Which somehow lead me to investigating elliptical machines. I was really leaning towards a recumbent bike, until R took us into a sporting goods shop and let us all test the elliptical machines and the recumbent bikes and everything else. Now, I do like the recumbent bikes. Don't get me wrong. But I really liked the elliptical machines. What I ended up ordering when I got home was a cross trainer machine--both elliptical machine and upright stationery bike. I am eagerly awaiting its delivery. I have already prepped R for my needing help to assemble something once it gets here. That conversation is what led us to the test-drive process. :-) He's gone on a float trip this week-end, so he doesn't know yet what I have heading my way.

Then, I sat down in front of my computer and I brainstormed. I gathered research I had done in an actual bookstore, coupled with recommendations from mentors and teachers, and I went to town ordering books.
I bought a bunch of writer's books for myself. I figure if E has to do her schoolwork, I should have to do mine too. I will post my newly ordered books on my goodreads site, if you are interested in seeing what I ordered. I ordered some books suggested by SoulFoodCafe members, mostly in regards to Hestia's Hearth. As well as some recommended by Heather herself.
I am very nearly done with "Living Your Unlived Life" by Robert Johnson and Jerry Ruhl. I have been dreading finishing it. It is very good. I am wondering where to go from here, after I am done with this book, I have another book by Mr. Johnson, so I am not entirely bereft. And it is not as if I don't have a billion books at my disposal in my own home anyway. But I am heading somewhere right now and I know it. I can see the final destination, I just want to be doing everything I can right now to ensure the best possible journey. Doesn't have to be the fastest, just the most enjoyable. I have had enough stupidity and ignorance in my life. I am leaving all that behind.

I ordered alot of books in regards to helping both E and N in their learning processes. I also ordered the amplified bible. E has been asking for more stories about Jesus Christ and all sorts of other people she has minimal knowledge of, like Esther, like Daniel, and my favourite, the resurrected Dorcas (which is Greek for Tabitha :-) ) Plus, I have wanted a transliteration for a very long time. Right now this does seem to open up enough avenues that I feel better about buying it. I am planning, whenever I find something appropriate, to buy E some bible story books. But- I will also buy Jewish and Muslim and Buddhist and Hindu and Native America and whatever else I can find. The more she is exposed to, the better I feel about things and the more informed she is. Right now, she is more interested in the Jesus Christ stories.

I also made sure I procured a copy of 'The Joy Diet' by Martha Beck for the next chapter group starting in September. Make sure you go to the blog to check things out. Jamie Ridler is the group leader and she is always and of course magnificent!

I very nearly bought some more art instruction books, but I held myself in check this time. I have a couple already here to read before I allow myself to buy any more.

I am also not allowing myself to buy any more writer's books, neither as resources nor prompts nor inspiration. Nada. I should have enough in my current possession to keep me very busy for awhile now. I plan to re-access this next year at some point. No definite time planned yet though. That'll come to me. Surely.

It's like my yarn diet. No new yarn without first stash diving. E got to pick out some yarn for her little black riding hood scarf (it's a hooded scarf by Suss Cousins in her 'Hollywood Knits Style' book. I made one in maroon when we were in WV, but I gave it away. And now, my little darkling vampire goth chick snot-head, she requires black. :-) She is actually pretty excited over this thing now.

I told R the other day the way things are going I'll be buying him his truck by the end of the year. He wasn't scoffing at me either. If this is merely the tip of the iceberg...just imagine what is going to start happening for me. For us.

I am just very excited.

Oh, and I am very far behind in my transcription. I have been writing. Every day except for the past Wednesday, when we were w R. Tuesday I got some writing done before he came to pick us up. :-) Here is what I have, roughly:
Five of the stories are for K's journey.
One is for Hestia.
The rest are just vignettes mostly.
I have thirteen pieces in all.
I was actually surprised at having five pieces for K done. For some reason, I was thinking there were only three. So I have impressed myself there.

I am in the midst of an article for my friend and client. I will show it to the world as soon as I finish it and clean it up somewhat.

I had an interesting evening today. My loving son came in to check out my feet, as he has done every weekend for several weeks now. My heels are cracking, Or they were cracking. They've been healing, longer than N has been carefully checking them out every week. But a great deal faster in the past 2-3 weeks now.
First thing he told me to go wash my feet, that they were dirty. They were dirty and they were grossing me out. I neglected to point out his last cup of chocolate milk, where the milk had spilled in one way while the powder puffed up and gusted out in another direction, and I had walked through all of that and then some.
I came back in with clean feet and he did his usual inspection, rubbing and pressing the soles of my feet. He told me they were looking better. My son talks. My son interacts. My son catches on. And when allowed, he really talks. Not just in response to questions put to him. Not just demanding a drink or a toy or a movie or whatever. This child tonight laid on the bed and talked to me. I let him talk. I only responded when he asked a question. He explained to me what I needed to do to take care of my feet so they would heal (truthfully, forging out on my own has been the best healing process ever). He told me in detail. He told me how I needed to wash my feet, He told me about using band-aids and how of course that is how my feet would get better. He told me about how band-aids had helped his booboos heal and how they always made him feel better. No one ever gives this kid credit. They call him "autistic" and write him off as a non-entity who cannot relate or function, even people who know him. This kid, who usually bounces off walls while he is here because I let him just be N, I let him pour his own milk and add his own chocolate powder without getting upset over the mess, I let him nuke his own butter for popcorn and depending on how hot the mug is when it comes out he gets to pour the butter too and put the salt on, I let him get his own plate, his own popsicle, all sorts of things.

This boy of mine, this so-called "dysfunctional" and out of sorts child, laid on my bed with his feet pressing against mine and all he did was talk to me. For a good ten minutes. And all I did was offer soft quiet very short answers, hoping to keep him talking as long as I could. I can hear the adult in there trying to work its way out. It's a brilliant thing.

Why did this little man stop talking to me tonight? Because he was falling asleep and his sister came in to set up her bed for the night. As soon as she came in, he fell silent. He was asleep about five minutes later.

This is the little boy who waits til the clock is roughly at 12N before walking in to crouch over his sister and give her a hundred kisses on her cheek and head in order to wake her up every morning when he's here. And he does it becasue he wants to, not because he is urged, or because anyone suggests it. He just loves his sister, period. The boy himself gets up at the ungodliest of hours. Today I got to sleep til almost 8a (I will explain why in another post--first there was the insomnia--then there was a book). I am so exhausted. I took a nap earlier in the evening, but it wasn't enough. I had clients and friends in need of counsel today. Which is a terrific thing and for which I am very grateful. Even for the friends part.

I know I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. I have to make the time to email my friend, whom I neglected today. I have to transcribe thirteen stories, not to mention whatever I write tomorrow morning as well.

My bf is going to have a field day w me. I want another tattoo. I really want another tattoo. The conversation w Sarah the other day about her drawing a tattoo out for someone-it is stuck in my head.

The more I turn it around and around, the more I think I am going to ask her to draw me something. And that something I am going to get tattooed on me somewhere. I would really like the warrior geisha fairy done on me, but there's way too much detail in there in the black ink lines. I would love to find a way to have the warrior done in a sleeker more defined and yet less detailed manner. Am I making sense or did that stop a long time ago? :-)

I am planning to run it by her one day soon. Once I have a better idea of what I want in my head. I have a place in mind for her to go already. And it will not disturb the wind dragon I want to get in the same area either. Not if I do it right. :-)

Oh, the deal w the bf? He says I have at least one tattoo too many. Maybe two. I am over the limit for the number of tattoos he finds reasonable. Of course, I keep pointing out, his issue lies in the fact that the last two I got were for him. The one before the last one, I didn't tell him what it was about or who it was for/about until after it was done. Literally. I told him a few seconds after he pulled away from the curb at the tattoo place. I do love that man--and the way he reacts to things.
Taking him in and having him hold my hand when I got the last one done, his clan name on my wrist, that was the most spectacular thing, in the whole world. Minus the hours we spent together after we got it done. Those were really telling in and of themselves.

Ok-I'm done for the night. Time to shower and go read.
May the Bright Lights shine upon you at all times.
And may They shine away from your eyes when you're sleeping. :-)
Blessings.

Thanks for listening.