Well, today started out as a slow day, but turned out to be a pretty good day. We stayed longer at R’s than usual because I was doing some cleaning here—cleaning the oven and the kitchen and things of that nature. I wasn’t really comfortable leaving the oven on in cleaning mode until I was sure everything was going to be ok. It still didn’t make me feel all that better to hear the sirens of fire trucks screaming by as we were walking to our house either.
I think I have the majority of my email addresses switched over between computers now. Maybe now I can do better keeping up w emailing friends and family now. Not to mention, I think life is getting much easier, more back on track, these days, so I am better able to keep up w conversations and everything now. Hopefully, anyway.
Today, I have to give the ex some credit. I have been grousing because of the lack of N’s clothes—how his underwear suddenly took a huge dive (as in more went to T’s house than came to ours, that sort of thing) and here, as I cleaned out N’s room—and his closet—where I found the suitcase I had packed up for N when we were going back and forth between houses—before we moved into our new house—when I loaded N’s suitcase w a great deal of undies and other clothes for him to keep at R’s house, just in case. Basically, I didn’t really need to buy the boy new undies the other week—we haven’t really lost that much between T’s and my house—or in this case between T’s, and R’s and my house—since we go back and forth here every day. Come N, or rain, or shine…only thing that stops us is too cold for small people—and then I will back out of walking—but that doesn’t negate us going by car.
So, I found the suitcase—and got that emptied. Went through N’s clothes, pulled all the too small clothes out, hung up all the new stuff we’d gotten him recently…took the old bed frame downstairs…re-arranged his dressers…and took out all the blankets and pillows that were excess—got rid of the pillow pit and only left the pillows and blankets for the coming beds.
I cleaned up his room, but it looks too empty now—I really have to get that bed and put his room together. I also decided that N needs his own desk too, maybe a little bookshelf or something for his prized possessions.
E’s room is looking much better these days. She still has gobs of stuff all over in there—but at least she has done her level best to put things away neatly. She does get credit for her effort there. She has three boxes still sitting in the basement, full of her things…and she only just now got things put away decently in her room—wait…no…she has four boxes downstairs—and I don’t mean small ones. I am waiting to see how her bed fits into her room before deciding how to add more shelves or whatever for her. If we are going to be adding anything in her room—or whether whatever content is in those boxes stays downstairs or what.
I know eventually I am going to have to find some sort of storage system for the basement, for the toys. I am not going to worry about that for right now. Now, once E reaches the point where she is going through her boxes—then –then I’ll figure something out. Although, if R is going to make the stairs for N’s bed, I may ask him for help w something to store the kids toys in…we’ll have to see what comes up then.
Last Friday was the New Moon. Check out Jamie’s entry about the new moon here: http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/january-new-moon
It’s all about setting your intention for the coming Full Moon—a wonderful moon for me—the Full Wolf Moon. Friday of course was when N came to stay w us—which means utter confusion and chaos—well, not complete or utter chaos—but he sure does require a great deal of energy in order to keep up w him. And watching him and R butt heads—it’s all I can do not to throw up my hands, call it quits and go to bed to hide under the covers at times. I don’t—because sometimes my men having a go at one another is the funniest thing to watch. I often worry about what’s going to happen when N is older—but I am hoping they will be on much better terms together long before then. Both actually are doing their best, so there is hope.
I am in the process of trying to re-educate my own thought process, speaking of the coming Full Moon—while watching both friends and clients deciding to make long-lasting changes in their lives as well. I am also in the process of re-defining things in my life…not just for work…not just in the home…but there are other things I want to work on…I keep coming back to the whole, my job is terrific, but it is not really something I can do w small babes in arms…and that is something that is coming far sooner than I realize and expect—and to start moving things in the correct direction now makes more sense than waiting.
I waited when I had E. I didn’t really have any clear plans when I had E though. I just did what I did and I prayed, a lot. It took far too long to actually find that groove where I could do the things I wanted to do where the kids and where work was concerned. I want to have a definite heads up for the coming days. It’s a shift I have been wanting for some time—I just have to manage it. I just have to decide exactly what sort of shift I am working towards, more than anything else.
R told me last year we would have our own booth at Pagan Picnic this year. If I set aside some time, I would be able to have enough to justify a booth. To sell hand-made items. To give readings and offer my other services (remember, I am an Ordained Minister). There are both pluses and minuses to having a booth strictly for readings and counseling—and hand-fastings. Pagan Picnic is rather a free-for-all at times, and not strictly Pagan-Oriented. For every one serious person there, there are twenty ding dongs wandering loose from their regular loony bin. Any reason to put on a show is their philosophy apparently. I prefer to avoid the loonies.
As much as I am aware that clients are clients, and income is income, there are other factors here that keep making me more leery of re-entering that field. It is not my past associations or past associates that are giving me pause. I know, beyond any doubt, the past has no current bearing any more. Nor will it at any point forward either. There is nothing any of them can do at this point. There is a level of neediness w some people that I am not willing to accept nor deal w these days. Not that I do not have clients and friends who are needy in their own way; but my clients and I already have a rapport. I have no real desire to exert the kind of energy necessary to build and sustain the ties that some of these people would require in order to be of real help to them. The joy of my job is being able to pick and choose the people with whom I deal on a regular basis. I almost never take unsolicited clients these days. In fact, I haven’t had an unsolicited client since at least November, by my own choice.
There is a ready market available here in this area. I am examining various ways to enter into that market, while not being lumped in w the others who are tapping the same markets—mostly because I am not doing what they do (per se)—because I want to carve my own niche—which is what I am doing and what I have been doing all along, in my slow wandering way—but also because I am looking to build something that will last for years…something that will be there while I am pregnant, while I have young kids, after my kids are older, when I adopt kids…even if E is right and I end up taking care of her kids too…on top of all the other things that I plan to put into motion…like the bee keeping…like the chickens…like the yarn bearing beasties…all of that.
It’s a movement in progress—I am still working on many different things…
We are getting closer to being a real two-household family. I made dinner at our (my) house this weekend. Spaghetti w peanut sauce, which is R’s favorite dish at Thai Kitchen, the one restaurant up the road. I found a recipe for one version online that gave me a decent enough stepping off point. There is no way I can tell you what I put in it, other than crunchy peanut butter (all natural) and coconut milk, some soy sauce, and a bunch of spices and herbs. I kept adding stuff, trying to get a certain flavor and I kept trying and adding and trying to figure out what I was missing—until it dawned on me what I needed to do was step back, simmer the darn sauce and let everything seep in and meld together properly. R agrees that it is terrific. But the Thai Kitchen version is light—my version—is extremely filling, very quickly. Example? If you normally eat one cup of spaghetti, eat this spaghetti and all you’ll be able to eat is a fourth or maybe even a half of cup of this…but talk about tasty. Not hot, but there is some warmth to it. I’m pretty proud of myself for a first try.
I don’t have any Thai cookbooks in my collection. I have Chinese cookbooks. I have Indian cookbooks. I have a ton of cookbooks, hands down. I have many more cookbooks than I realized I have—which still boggles my fevered little brain. But none are what I want in this instance. So, I ordered a few recommended Thai cookbooks online. We’ll see how things turn out once I have them in hand. I am rather excited about their arrival.
I am very intense when I study a new subject. Thai cooking is now a new project of mine. Mwaahahaha…
We went to Global Foods this past Sunday. I bought a fillet of yellow fin tuna so R can make some seared tuna for us. We had some at Outback steakhouse the other day and it was just incredible—ok, so Outback didn’t use yellow fin, but still…because of R, I am developing an interesting taste for raw fish.
Global Foods. We go every couple months or so. I always allow myself to splurge while there. I was finally able to replace my jar of lemon curd that broke during the move. That was the one thing that had to wait to be replaced…you just can’t find lemon curd on the local grocery store shelf. Not to mention, I’ve been needing incense too. I wasn’t out, but was running low, what w burning incense at two houses at the moment.
One reason we went to Global Foods in the first place was to find fresh mint—so I could make R an authentic mint sauce—so, we find the mint, but R also finds a bottle of the right mint sauce. This is mint sauce, not mint jelly. It is a liquid, with the mint leaves floating freely in the liquid. I bought him his bottle of mint sauce, and bought him his mint leaves too. At least I froze half the mint—and am planning to dry the other half. Speaking of which…I bought more fresh herbs than just mint—I have a bottle sitting there waiting. I toss the herbs in the jar, add the olive oil, and let it all seep…and I will have a wonderful herbally-infused oil—I love it. I’ll have to remember that tomorrow when we get home. Cool—thanks.
R told his dad about the mint sauce—now we have to take his dad to Global Foods next time he comes to town. That’s going to be fun.
I have started a drawing, based on a dream I had the other night. As I continue to draw, since right now I am working on walking stones (stones you walk on, not stones that walk)…and I still have a craggy cave wall to draw too…the dream keeps trying to speak to me…I awoke one morning w only the image in my mind’s eye. I did a real quick basic sketch to capture the main imagery—now I am trying to work on a larger, more detailed picture. Once I am done drawing, I think I might even paint the thing.
I am getting more urges to paint of late—and after all the brushes I have in my possession, all I want to do is dip my finger in paint and spread the paint over the canvas in soft fluid motions. It’s all R’s fault. Watching him. He inspires me. Every darned day. I do know that time is coming. And very soon as well. I’m just going to keep letting things brew and congeal in my mind, before my heart overwhelms and my hands put it on paper…of some form or the other.
After I am done working for the night tonight, I am casting on the top part of N’s Captain America sweater. I’ve been wanting to work on it.
Today, I brought home the yarn to knit up a laptop sleeve for the new laptop here. I have a bag to carry the thing around w me…but I want to knit up a sleeve in order to protect it. The neoprene sleeve is decent enough for the netbook—but I want a knitted sleeve for the laptop. I would have started today at the house, but I need direct measurements. Guess I should start doing that, huh?
So, there’s the update for today. Tomorrow we’re going vehicle shopping again. I believe R is ordering the mattress tonight or tomorrow—probably tomorrow. We’ll have to see what goes on then.
Until next time…ciao…