What do you wish to awaken?
Yesterday, it took me forever to actually load Jamie’s site yesterday. At first, I thought it had to do with my being on the laptop—maybe the wifi signal wasn’t strong enough or something. Despite the fact that I was sitting right by the modem unit thingy…not three feet from it. So, Jamie’s site refused to load on the laptop. I tried for two hours…and then tried the desktop. Same deal on the desktop. I tried the laptop, the desktop, and the netbook…from about 9 in the morning til…I found Jamie on facebook that evening…and after about ten tries, I was finally able to get Jamie’s website to load via facebook’s link…and I left it up all night so it would still be there in the morning…once I was able to load it, the site seemed ok…
Then, I took a look at the question though…and gasped…OMG…this woman is SO incredible! Talk about an innate ability to smack someone right between the eyes with exactly the right question at the absolute perfect time. I was so shocked and amazed that I actually looked at the screen and said, out loud, I have to think of this overnight before I can answer.
As if this hasn’t been the stuff floating around on my brain for weeks? Months?? Longer??? Anyway…
What do I wish to awaken?
Wow. Lol I am currently reading “Entre Nous” by Debra Olliver…a book about awakening your inner French girl…but as I am reading it, I have to realize that, uhm, other than the whole French ancestry thing, I do have that French girl thing already, even if it isn’t as defined as I’d like it to be…and I am only 73 pages into it right now. There are things I am planning to change, not just based upon this book, but because I’ve been heading that way for awhile anyway…but still...the book makes it more fun…
Another book arrived last night, “Simply Irresistible” by Ellen T White—about awakening your inner siren…although…w R…that is not an issue…and from what I read when I skimmed it last night, the book won’t be much help for me…because I already do … a lot … to appease that inner siren.
So, what to awaken? How about I turn the question just a smidge? I’ve awakened quite a bit of archetypes within myself in the past few years, even more so in the past year…but…awakening something from a slumber and getting them to engage fully are not exactly the same thing.
I have awakened my Inner Goddess—I have awakened my Inner Writer—I have awakened my Inner Artist—I have awakened my Inner Siren…not that she was ever that dormant, despite all the ridiculous men in my life prior to R…now I want to bring these …pieces of me…to the forefront of my existence…I want them to grow fully awake, engorged w life, blooming, blossoming, moving shaking dancing gyrating Yoga inducing lucid dreaming ball-busting yelling screaming tears of joy happy happy …everything…that kinda sums it up, huh…
When you come right down to it, other than taming the Procrastinator in me, what I wish to awaken and to more than fully embrace is this happy joyful person I am becoming…
I am leaving behind the unhappy, the disturbed, the angry, the fearful, the hurt person I have been for so very long…
The things I depended upon R for when he was only my friend are the cornerstones of the relationship between us…and the stability between us allows me to coerce and correct all the other inadequacies in my life in such a manner that I don’t have to be afraid of falling or of failing, because no matter what, that man will be right there, willing to laugh at me and tease me to no end, but willing to pick me up and help brush the dust off…that is truly my saving grace…knowing no matter how hard I fall, nor how far I fall, he will be right there, the entire time, and that his feelings for me will not change a bit.
So, despite all the other titles, I wish to awaken and embrace my own Personal Inner Goddess…that should cover everything…and then some…and still leave plenty of room for more growth and improvement.
Peace.
