The Knitting Journeyman

Gathering Up One Thread At A Time As I Weave This Web Of Mine.....

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Sometimes I Wonder About People

I really do. I work as a Priest, a Counselor, a Psychic, a Healer...not always in that order. And, of course, there are so many other hats I wear as well.
I talk to people every day, almost all day, some days.
It is what I do, on top of everything else.

I am a member of several groups and organizations, many of which I am barely involved in and with, and most of which I am slowly pulling farther out of and away from...if not all, at this point.

How odd I do find it as I pull slowly out of different places how some of these people supposedly in power play their games to manipulate and control things, always doing their best to point out how wonderful they personally are and how wonderful their organizations are--and I marvel at how much like the Biblical 'Devil' they not only sound, but appear. The Devil with the silver tongue enticing and entrapping you with promises and lies you are far too blind to catch, until it is too late.

It is so sad for them--I am not Blind.

It baffles me how people can be so manipulative. We love having you. You are so talented. You're one of our best. If you leave us, no one else will treat you as well. No one else will give you these opportunities. You won't be able to move up the way you are and the way you can here. Yeah. Right. I can see that in my other choices I've been making lately. Yep. Really looks as if I am faltering. Sure thing.

The illusion they provide, all with the silkiest of words and the calmest sanest of voices, points to their being the best for everyone involved with no other options. In fact, they also point out that should you --or I, in this case--decide to go elsewhere, bad things will happen. There will be no money coming in, or less money coming in. I won't be happy. I will get sick. My loved ones will get sick. I won't be able to handle things. I will regret my decision.

Between my studies of various religions and my studies of psychology and psychiatry, I marvel at the intricacies of the lunacies these people wrap themselves with...and am often stumped that they not only believe the lies they tell, but how often and how well they coerce others into believing them as well.

Would you like an example?
I will be brief. Some details are of course changed to protect the insipid.

I have expressed, mostly to other people, a desire to leave a group, although I am not quite prepared to leave this particular group for good yet. My purposes are not being served in this group. My abilities and talents are being wasted and curtailed. But right now, there are people involved with this group who depend on me to show up and be there, whether I agree with everything that goes on or not. So, I continue to show up.
A lower management person, shall we say, came to me 'privately' to discuss my options, and to ensure my continued support and involvement.
The way in which he did this was to tell me a story. This one:
About a former participant in this group, long before me. Her husband did not approve of her activities with this group. So, after a time, she left the group. Not long after that, she got cancer. And the lower management person described her cancer in detail, recommending I look it up and see how very truly horrible this particular cancer manifests itself. He also mentioned her husband contracting a different form of cancer and dying. He repeated this story and details of this story several times in the long conversation he had with me. It was only the beginning of terrible things that befell this woman apparently.
His point, which he made sure to emphasize several times over, was that if she had stayed with and in the group, nothing bad would have ever happened to her...or her husband.

Number one: is this how you would convince someone to stay with your group? Whatever the group may be? Keeping in mind--this is not a metaphysical group at all.
I know in some circles I travel, this would be a tactic, a display of Power to coerce acquiescence. I run in those circles and I have for awhile.

Number two: where I come from--this is a very very blatant threat. Not veiled. Not insinuated. Not merely mentioned or glossed over. This is a straight out in your face THREAT. It is an actual warning of an impending attack, not only upon myself, but upon my family as well.

People who know me KNOW. This is not 1 very bright on the person's or the group's part and 2 they have no clue what I can do or how bad it will be for them.

And since I know everyone and their mother reads this blog these days...I know they can hear me...and I say rather loudly, you better be pissing in your boots right now because NO ONE threatens me and NO ONE threatens my kids. No One. And you know who you are. And you have no idea at all with whom you are screwing.
But I can and will give you references for those still standing who have tried this before. However, most of them are gone now, into hiding or wherever the beaten and fallen go to hide until God's Judgement falls upon them.

Another point lately has been my grumpiness towards my lowered thresholds with my shields.
Some idiots have actually taken that as a sign of weakness.
Shame. Shame. Shame.
Tight shields, the thick ones I used to use, meant I wasn't aware of much that was sent my way, unless I specifically looked.
Now, I am aware of every little thing.
It in no way means I am easier to attack or put down.
There's only one person who is able to do that to me-and I have no worries where he is concerned.
So, the next time you shoot something at me and can't figure out why it isn't hitting me, be prepared for the recoil yourself, because I am no longer pretending to play softball.

My children and my livelihood were threatened. More than once. For this I cannot stand still. Nor will I.

Another example, a little less articulate, because I really could not figure out where the story was going or what it's purpose was, other than to point out if I left I would have no end of trouble finding sources of income is the following....
The whole thing was disjointed in the telling, so please bear with me. If I had clear details, I might fudge them to protect the inane, but I don't think I have enough to do anything with. But I will, if I can.
Something about another participant, with another group no less, who thought she could make more money elsewhere.
Because I often complain I can make more money elsewhere within certain groups, I caught on to that part. Problem is, I've proven it, and at the moment I maintain certain groups only for the people who depend upon me, not vice versa. Sad, isn't it? That I already know walking away from these groups will in no way endanger anything to do with my livelihood or taking care of my kids...and yet, here these people are, covertly obsessing and telling me there is no way I can make more consistently across the board anywhere else. Even though I have consistently proven not only that I can...but that I do.
With fees and processing and 'their cut' off the top of things I make roughly six (6) times less than what I pull in overall. As in if I 'earn' $7, they make $6 and I get to keep $1. This is roughly the ratio. It is not a perfect to scale thing. It's rough estimates, but it is close too. I'm just not giving you to the penny amounts. I want the example to be clear.
This does not include that fact that I am required to work at least every three days, and half the week-end. This makes vacations impossible. But, they love to point out the bonuses for attracting so many 'new clients' and for working 'holidays'. The pay scale is a sliding pay scale, based upon your hours put in. I work with a couple groups with that in place. So, some weeks I may not put in as many hours. So instead of my $1 out of $7, I make roughly 50 cents and they get $6.50.
The lecture about 'these economic times being so tough' was brought in, although I didn't understand it. And something about how one person was working her slot from Canada and she tried to step out on her own, but she was throwing money away because she made so much more money because it was so much easier for her to cheat on her taxes.
I told you, it wasn't all really clear.
All I kept getting from that is see how good we are? See how good we treat you? Meanwhile, the mental picture presented is of a steaming pile of cow dung that someone spread chocolate over and said hey gourmet! Isn't it yummy? Dig in!
And being amazed that anyone else would refuse that.

Another one of these 'talks' (yes, I've been through several these past couple weeks) which brings to mind the chocolate covered cow dung reeked as talks given verbatim--and I mean VERBATIM from my old job at SBC. It's not personal. Leave your job at the door when you go home. Leave your home issues outside. Leave your work issues inside. Drop those troubles off at the door. We treat you so well as we treat you like pond scum. Why don't you enjoy it? You have everything so easy, so right there on a platter, why don't you like it when we browbeat you and spit on you and treat you as less than human and expect more from you? We are so good to you--as we beat the life from your body and sell your blood and tell you how it's for your own good.
There's the don't engage with the clientele part. I love this. I ahve always found this line masterful in its stupidity. I am very very good at what I do. It has taken me years to get to the point where I will openly admit I AM GOOD AT WHAT I DO. Where I can honestly BELIEVE and KNOW how good I am. I am not perfect. I do not claim to be perfect. BUT I am VERY GOOD at what I do.
I was told, by more than one person recently, that while doing healing work and psychic work on people NOT to get involved or engaged with the people I work on or read for.
Isn't that the direct opposite of what I do for a living?
It reminds me of walking into a doctor's office. Doctor walks in, barely looks at you, doesn't lift his face from the chart, barely acknowledges your presence. Barely touches you. Makes some notes on the chart. Hands you some prescriptions and leaves.
He has no more idea what's wrong with you than the man in the moon does.
I have not only worked for such doctors, I've been attended by them. I always rip up the prescriptions and find new doctors. I didn't work long for those types of doctors either.
Which may be why I am so into alternative healing now. :-)
Would you go to a Healer...or a Priest...or a Counselor who didn't engage with you? Who didn't connect with you on any level?
I am an Empath. In my job, being Psychic isn't really necessary. If you can pick up on the emotional vibe, and you know how to talk to people, you can do a great job. No one truly expects a psychic to be dead-on accurate 100% every time. They hope so, yes, but that doesn't mean it will happen.
I wouldn't accept people as clients if I could not connect with them. If I had to hold myself in 100% reserve while talking to someone, I would have to find a new job. Even if I held back 50%. To tell me, with what I do for a living, not to connect with clients, has to be the most incredibly stupid (and yes, I know it's a mean word--but I'm running out of adjectives for stupid here) thing I have ever heard.
Me not connecting with my clients on some level is what will decrease my income. Not increase it.
I am good at what I do because of the connection I have with my people. Whether I care for all the people I see or not.
Although I still stand by the fact I prefer to have control over the people I see and the people I work on. And that outside my groups and associations, I have that control. It works for me. And I make good money turning people away when I think they will be better served elsewhere. Where I can serve better elsewhere.

Now. In all these conversations, some more articulate than others, did I snarl and raise up and growl and spit and cause an uproar? Nope.
Mostly, I just smiled and nodded and yes-ed them to death.
Inside, I was so laughing my butt off. The audacity of some people. The ideas of their omnipotence. Their supposed guile and charm. The fact that the more they spoke the more they revealed how desperate they were and how out of control they were.
I am an Empath and I am an Intuitive. Among a myriad of other things....
I can spot lies and deceit a mile away. When I am not talking myself into believing the lies (hat tilt to you know who), nothing gets past me like this, even when I am not expecting anything.
I cannot understand how supposedly savvy rational people open themselves up to the things they do. Or how far out there they are willing to spread themselves to spread their lies and manipulations.

Now, considering some of the associations concerned here, let me make myself crystal clear:
I am not making threats. I am not making promises.
I am pointing out you tipped your hand.
I am pointing out how very bad the mistakes were that you have made.
I am pointing out that you more than overstepped your bounds.
I am not going to do anything. I do not have to. I am not required to do so.
It is not my job to do anything, not to you, nor to anyone else.
However, my lack of involvement does not decry the fact that you have done whatever follows you henceforth to your own self.
It has nothing to do with me or mine-- at all.
Consider yourself warned, however, by Powers far Greater than little old me, that you have been Noticed. And that you have Officially been put On Notice.
Anything and everything will be held against you, so help you God.
Repent, ye sinners. Return to the fold of thy Lord God now, before it is too late.
I do so love that line! And I do so love when it is used too.

So, I am going to continue working within these associations until I am no longer needed by those who clamor now for me. I am otherwise removing myself from the equations here. I never was one for political bouts anyway. You may duke it out amongst yourselves from now on.

May God have mercy on your soul, as I have no pity left in my heart for the likes of you.
There is no reason at all that I should.
You have been given every chance. You made your choices. May nothing more come to you but that you lie in the bed you have made for yourself.

Blessed be, little darlings. Blessed be.