So, work has changed--and as the gods as my witness if that first day on my own is any indication, I more than made the correct decision. Is it crude to say I made more in one day on my own than I did most weeks w the network? I do not expect that every day, at least not at first, but it is possible. It is more than possible.
I just love when the Universe gives confirmations like that. Makes me feel better.
No need to wait til the 24th. Not pregnant. We are thinking miscarriage--I won't go into the physical details at all. I'm still not comfortable with this in any direction. I didn't wait til the 24th to start pulling things out of storage and washing them. I lack the heart and ability to put them away as well.
As bad as it sounds, to many good things came out of this. And we will try again, on our own terms rather than the whole 'accidental' frame this time.
All in all, it helped alot of things move faster than they would have otherwise, for R and for me. As much as I wanted it, it's not the worst thing possible.
I spent the weekend at a workshop for the most part, working on things for the coming month with the business. Since next month's bills are more than covered already, whether the network pays me or we have to go to court over that final paycheck or whatever, I have decided not to push for the rest of this month. I am taking my time, working into things. I keep forgetting how much of a network I do have in place here locally that I can and will be tapping into. It was always in the plans to do so, in the future, and yet, the future is now. :-)
I did get to finish the birthday doll for A this weekend. I have to write out the pattern for the dress as I merely took the ribbed skirt from the book (see my ravelry entry under Birthday Princess, I think) and heavily modified it into a pretty ball gown. Next time I must remember that stockinette curls, as the hem of the dress curls, but it actually looks pretty here. I didn't do alot of increasing...I just kept going up in needle sizes until I was done. :-) Pictures of doll forthcoming.
There's alot of things I neglected over the past week or so. I am particularly upset at having missed Poetry Play Thursday last week. Not to mention, I have last Wednesday's Poetic Asides poem written out, since I usually write them by hand and then type them to post...I didn't get around to typing it up yet. It's coming. It was on the list for yesterday, but the boyfriend came over--and dinner took way too long (there were parties being held at the restaurant and we waited for over an hour to be served our dinners because of it--although we had fun just being together, all of us). I will be catching up, even if I catch up slowly.
I have to reach out again and say THANK YOU THANK YOU to Jamie Ridler, everyone w Wishcast Wednesday and Full Moon Dreamers, and everyone else who supports me in my endeavors.
Hybrid J gave me an award last week and I as yet have done nothing with it. I haven't forgotten, really. Sidetracked. Everything sidetracked. I am getting there, darlin', I swear.
Oh, side note, M, T, I know you are there. Thanks. Now, let it go and stop it, for the love of peace.
Found the direction I want for the books of poetry we are planning to publish and put out. For some reasons, even considering the poetry is high school poetry (really-it is the stuff I wrote in high school--minus the 2 notebooks lost during a move after high school), I kept thinking I wanted to draw flowers to go into it. Nope. I'm not a flowers sort of person. My focus is trees.
Do you ever find yourself just staring fixedly at whatever the object of your obsession is? Whether it's a good time to do it or not? Coming out of a restaurant the other day, getting back into the car, I just stood there, poised to get in, trying to memorise the colour and the texture and the shapes of this tree, this beautiful chopped up, curving, twisting black and grey and beautiful tree trunk, mesmorised. And me with no camera. R is lucky I forgot his phone takes pictures then. And as we were driving, along the side of the road, were all these wonderfully twisted gnarled withered looking trees, still fighting to live and breathe and grow ...and all I kept thinking was my camera is at home on my armoire...
So, after requesting time out and about,with or without the small people (would actually prefer with, cause the kids make it interesting and see things I would miss anyway), I decided to always take my camera out with me. Last night, of course, wasn't the best of times, but at least I had my camera on me, just in case. :-)
Those gnarled twisted beautiful trees I so dearly love, those are the drawings--and maybe even photographs too at some point--that I shall be putting into my books of poetry.
I keep thinking of all the masses of poetry and whatnot I have scrawled on the backs of pieces of paper from operator services that I never typed out....I ahve folders of that stuff sitting in my file cabinets and in other places.
It is a time here for clearing out. I have been slowly wending my way through that process, but now have become even more determined.
We have a mouse in our house. I hate vermin. If the water bugs weren't enough. I hate mice. And they do know the cardinal rule--you move into my house you be signing your own death warrant. Sorry. I grew up on a farm. Mice are not nice. And I am not encouraging them.
The mice could kill my bird in more than one way. It could bring diseases and mites and fleas that could kill Cricket. It could literally get into the cage and eat the bird if it so chose. Not that it will, I am almost sure. There is plenty of food for the dumb thing to eat. Birds are the messiest nastiest things. That bird watched me sweep everything and mop everything (which I do periodically anyway) and she waited--she knowingly waited, til I was all done and then sat at her food dish and tossed out the stuff she won't eat, making sure she threw it as far across the room as she could.
The mouse did show me one very important thing--I have to quit saying I am not a bird person. My first thought was--remove the food source--which is all the darned bird seed everywhere--which would mean finding Cricket a new home.
I can't do that. First of all, my mother gave E this bird, even if the bird has turned on E (and on R of all people) and now seems to be "my" bird. I know where the bird came from. And sometimes as she sits in her cage at night, repeating all the things she's heard yelled in my mom's house, I think, I know where she came from, I know what's she's been through. Here she's fairly safe. I complain alot, but I don't yell very often--and when I do--it's usually because the end of the rope has come and gone for Mom and I have had more than enough.......and the yelling only lasts for a few seconds too, because I always feel bad when I yell. Then, of course, I went through the whole how do I know if the next person is going to understand Cricket or care about Cricket or take care of Cricket....which lead me down the whole if we have a mouse in the house, how am I protecting the bird? And the bird herself stands in the way of me getting rid of the mice--first thing I did in the storage room was bomb it w peppermint oil--I do that near the bird and we have dead bird. My first instinct is to rip everything up, strip it down, clean it and burn it clean, spread as thick a coat of all sorts of essential oils all over the place and stuff steel wool in all the mouse spots we can see in the carport--which is how they are getting in--through the foundation of the house --which is where everything gets in--and through the chimney. Makes me wish I could light a fire in the fireplace--we haven't had it checked or inspected so, no way there....
All in all here, what I am trying to say is the darned mouse made me realize I am a bird person--I like having the dumb bird around--even if I am not all together sure what to do with the bird--I like her and I'm keeping her...and then I am turning her cage into some sort of wonderful garden, probably full of snakes, once she passes from natural causes...in about twenty years of so....
See, my real solution to the mouse issue is to up the snake count in the house...buy a couple corn snakes, that won't hurt the environment once they reach the outside world...set them loose in the house--yes, I would rather have snakes over mice ANY DAY....alas, as with the essential oils, no can do on the snakes so long as the bird resides herein--and we are not getting rid of the bird....
And now, what else did I want to say here?
I have no clue...other than I did catch up on some of my writing yesterday and I did post it.
There's a new article up on my work blog: The Human Connection
There's a new story on the Alyce as well: Barnabas
I will be posting more pictures of recent art work and more as soon as I get things moving here. I've been getting calls all morning, in one form or fashion.
So much to do....just taking it one step at a time....