The Knitting Journeyman

Gathering Up One Thread At A Time As I Weave This Web Of Mine.....

Sunday, January 11, 2009

This Year

I am not hiding anymore.
Hey, that particular glamour of mine is gone anyway--so why not flaunt it?

I am not going to play games with small-minded people, even when they feel themselves so superior and so justified.

I am not going to sit back and take being abused just because some man thinks I must do everything he wants me to just because he has custody of my son.

I am not going to allow anyone to be rude to me or to treat me horribly just because that's the only way he knows how to deal with me--or people in general.

I am not going to be sympathetic of a person who lacks the self-respect to change the things he hates about himself, while degrading me for doing so myself. As in--I am changing things--I am forging ahead in my life and not whining about what I lack or what I could be doing. I'm doing things.

I am not going to try my best to get the approval of some ingrate a**hole who couldn't be appeased short of finding a woman just like his own mother to wait upon him hand and foot and dote on every word that comes out of his mouth as if it were gospel.

Better yet, I know, based on what the man told me himself, that I am not the only woman who sees him the way I see him.

He is lazy in all things, in all areas of life, and if it doesn't benefit him he won't move and he does the extreme minimum to procure whatever it is he wants.

I am a professional psychic, healer and priest. Pretty much in that order.
I can go into all sorts affiliations and blah blah blah--but I have no need to brag. I have no need of the ego boosting viability of saying I know so and so--I was taught with so and so--I was taught by so and so -- I hang out with so and so. But--since none of it really means anything to me, why should I? I give out enough information for people to get a vague idea of who I am and what I do, so that if they need me they know they can come to me.
With whom I have trained is unnecessary. My guilds and clubs and councils--mean nothing to the grand masses--and some of my associations in the past would keep me from moving forward where I am. Through no fault of my own, but still...
I can however truly and proudly proclaim to be a Neo-Pagan Christian, because one must be able to identify oneself in a court of law against the slander of others.

I am a strange earth-mother hippy-dippy Dharma from 'Dharma and Greg' kind of chick. And yes--I love to make love in the rain--on a rooftop or not. :-)
I do not care much for technology. I do not have cable or satellite--although we do own alot of movies. There is no reason that I know of to have cable or satellite because the television is NOT the main focus in our house. I refuse to buy a really big tv because I do not want the tv to be the main focus in our house. I relish communicating and talking and playing with my children and partner and friends and family. And dog. Can't forget the dog. My family is the main focus in my house.
I love working with and in the dirt, growing things, planting things, harvesting things.
I love making things, with wood or yarn or paper or whatever.
I love my altered books and my art projects. I love to sew too.

I am a writer. And I write many many things. I have completed a knitting book, for which I must knit up the test patterns. Plus, I need to do some re-writing and augmenting of the text parts, because since I learned to crochet my ideas have changed somewhat. Which means I have to have my manuscript in my hand first of all. :-)
I write alot of erotica. It was the very first story form I wrote and I have modified and changed things over the years, but always come back to erotica.
If Anne Rice can write hard-core S&M to release the pressure of writing the Vampire Chronicles, then why look at anyone else funny when they do it?
Would it help to say I write alot of vampire stuff--using as many forms of vampirism as I know? Eroticism and vampirism seem to go hand in hand, no matter what form of vampirism it is.
Not to mention, one of my favourite writers is Anais Nin--that pretty much explains alot--seeing as I have loved her since the early 80s.
But the current book I am working on is more of a love story--a weird one--but still.

I have the beginnings of my management team in place. Now the rest is up to my Muse.

I do not make deals with devils or demons or any shady creatures--despite some people trying to push me heavily in that direction within the past 8 years.
I did cross the River and I did pick a Side. And woe unto those who would try to sway me from my given course--and that is not a threat on my part--it is part of the protection surrounding me and mine now that I have made the choice and been Cleansed and Rebourn.

Take the things I say as you will.

Just be aware. I am not that little girl seeking love and approval any more. I love and I approve of myself. And I aim to make myself happy--my family happy--and my life better than good.

Shame on you if you cannot let go enough to let me go and let me be.