The Knitting Journeyman

Gathering Up One Thread At A Time As I Weave This Web Of Mine.....

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Some days the arrogance of some people is really a lot to bear.

How do you come into my home one day, take my daughter out to eat, bring my son food back, and me nothing?
And yet the next tie you come over, you go through my refrigerator and take whatever you want to eat and to drink, without asking, without permission, and call yourself being fair and equitable and—maintaining boundaries?

I wrote that a couple months ago actually--it's been sitting on my laptop waiting for me to finish it out--but there really is nothing left to say about that incident. Not enough to set me off.

A friend of mine pointed something out to me the other day that actually made me cringe--she said I am giving x way way too much credit. Sure, he can admit to be one of the laziest people on the face of the earth, but that doesn't mean everything I credit to his laziness is sheer laziness. She pointed out that alot of his behaviour can be called malicious intent. If he is able to get off his butt to go get E something for Valentine's Day--why can't N get me something for Valentine's Day? That sort of thing.

Now, x tells me I don't know him at all. I must. This friend has never met him--and she can predict his behaviour alot better than I can--apparently, as I am told by many sources, because I give him way too much credit for, you know, like, being human or something.

Some days I wonder why I tolerate the man--but every time I think this I look at my son--and pray some day I'll be able to help him. My son has a hearing disability. It too runs in my family--and I recognise the signs--the verbiage. Among the ear issues the kid seems to have constantly that the x utterly ignores me about--we won't go there. X is too caught up in it's all autism--and it isn't. N was like this from the time he was bourn--it's something different. But now that he talks more--I am watching--the kid does alot of what I do--since I have limited hearing in one ear due to scarring from ear infections--and he speaks like someone else in my family did as a kid--due to ear problems. He needs to watch my mouth when I talk when I introduce new words--and I do that alot so that my kids will be able to have something more than a comic book mentality and vocabulary when they are older--cause no (public) school I know of til college is going to teach them anything else. Watching people talk is something I have to do--but I also have to watch body language--and until N is older I won't be sure of what he is doing specifically--but it's worth paying attention to right now. I am not saying tubes in N's ears will cure every problem--but I am betting dollars to donuts it will help IMMENSELY.

But what do I know--despite my training, despite the fact I lived w it, despite it running in my family through direct lineage and cousins and all sorts of extended situations back several generations, despite any other number of things--I'm just a girl--so what can a girl know, right?

Apologies--had to get that off my chest.