Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Another Brilliant Wednesday
And another brilliant wish question brought to you by the magnificent Jamie Ridler....
What do you wish for your body?
Why is it that questions that seem like they should be so simple always turn out to not be simple?
I am not that worried about my weight...I wish I were more toned and flexible. All I need to do there is actually DO something about it....I'm just not currently in the right space, mentally or physically.
I really wish my hair and my fingernails would grow faster/stronger/better, although I would settle for my hair growing longer faster.
I wish my feet would heal, but I know that's emotional and it comes and goes...and I know eventually it is going to clear, so that's not that much of a worry, except when the cracking causes pain....
What I really wish is that my body would continue to work with me rather than against me. Not too long before we moved her I was very sick. Very sick. To the point I was making arrangements for my kids if I didn't survive it. It does make me feel better to know had I stayed in WV, I would never have seen my son again because even dying the ex couldn't care less about anything when it comes to me. Maybe that anger towards him and not being able to see N if I were dying is what got me here.
I always worry that my body is going to betray me that way again.
I get tired when I shouldn't be tired. I get dizzy for no reason. Ok, we can blame blood sugar, but not every time. I get breathless, not counting asthma and allergies. I get severe headaches, and we can blame emotions and young children and ignorant clients only so much. I have nose bleeds. I am far more prone to picking up and keeping germs around than ever before.
Each incident always shows its own reason. One by one, they are not so troubling. Over an extended period of time, looking not at each individual incident but the series of incidents--I worry.
I know what it will take to "fix" alot of these issues. Funny how most of the physical issues I have I know can be treated w emotional not medical fixes.
Medical "fixes" would actually kill me. I have no doubt. And even homeopathics, which I dearly love and trust, has been unable to aid me in these pursuits. Except when infection kicks in. At least I can get rid of the big stuff that way.
My only other wish is that my eyes don't get any worse....I can't wear contact lenses anymore...not since I had N. Why doesn't anyone tell women that pregnancy can make it impossible to wear contacts? Not that I wouldn't have had N--I'd have just been better prepared.
What are you wishing today?