Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Time To Shine With Starshyne....
Today our heavenly Wish Master asks us:
Who or what do you wish to play with?
I hate to have a seemingly simple question plop down in front of me, and then it turn out to be so bloody difficult.
First instinct is to say: CLAY....which leads to the practical matter of...how ti fire it...IF I can convince the clay to move and meld as I wish it....
Yet, clay is not a satisfying answer. It's not enough. Does not travel DEEP enough.
There's that little inner child in me, still locked behind her door, still cowering back in the corner, slowly reaching out to me, but never really quite willing to come all the way out...every time she tries, she ends up in tears and sick to her stomach and moving even farther back into the shadows.....
She's like a child locked away in the attic, unable to move forward even after the door with all its locks has been stripped away.
She's so happy, after so much time in the dark, with her friends, the faeries and the imaginaries, why would she wish to venture out into a world she knows is hurtful and hateful and mean and unsupporting and non-nurturing?
Add into that, I am afraid of that Darkness, afraid the door will clang shut behind me if I venture in to play with her in her space, afraid I will become trapped, enmeshed and ensnared by the demons that surround her, unable to ever fight my way out again......
So, she sits in her corner at the far side of the room, and I peek in through the door, on my hands and knees, whispering secrets to her and catching her own as she shares them with me.
I wish to find a space where she and I can meet and play and speak freely and move freely and get to know one another...and to move on from there.....
That is my wish.
As simple as all that.
So mote it be.