I knew it was Wednesday, the day it really was Wednesday. I checked Jamie's blog to see what wish I should be looking forward to this week...and then...I blanked.
I didn't even actually look up or get too close to the computer...til yesterday...after we got some a/c here.
Now, we had 1 portable a/c, thanks to R, bless his soul for putting up w me--but yesterday--we got MORE. Landlord finally came through there...even if they are just temporary window units. Now I don't think we might die here in this box. Now, I am freezing my tushie off and it isn't really that cold...the kids are fine. Ken is not panting her butt off--in fact, she's been sprawled in the middle of my bed since yesterday, just enjoying things.
One word about R: the man has got to genuinely and truly love me...or he's nuts...or in our case, both, I'm sure.
Equinox and New Moon, add in weird weather changes (where the weather forecast says dry and sunny til it starts to pour--when the report immediately shifts to showers all week--and when the drizzles vanish it's back to wicked hot and sunny again, til the next rain hits....)--add in PMS and hormones--and whatever other excuse I can find to explain why I hit a black pit and stayed there (and some of it I am sure comes from me being able to pick up R's stuff too and I know where he's at, but usually I can shift it better...and this time I didn't) and I hit a really really bad space there for about a week...I mean like did I actually get divorced and away from that guy black spot...R didn't give up on me. Not once. Not even for a moment.
I'm blessed and I know it and I am so bloody grateful it isn't funny.
So, add some a/c and kill off the humidity, add my lovely browned boy, and a decent conversation w the ex that was actually not just good, but enjoyable (he can be decent when he tries, I swear) ...and things are much better now. Not perfect, but better. And that counts.
I knew I was feeling better last night-I cleaned. Not that I hadn't been doing a little here and there, after dark, when it was cooler. But I went gung-ho last night. I had sprayed my oven some time last week, with oven cleaner. It wasn't going anywhere and I sure as heck wasn't going to use the oven w no a/c. Last night I finally wiped that out--and everything came up very easily too. Imagine that! :-) I swept --which has been bugging me that I hadn't done it. I fail to understand how one small green evil feathered monster can throw bird seed so far--and also manage to get it into every single room of the house to boot...but Cricket manages it very well--every day.
As much as I hated to do it, I tossed out a couple of the dog chewed rugs. I am loathe to get more since she chews, but know one day to ikea I shall go and I shall get more. Darn that dog. :-) They are just little rag rugs, nothing special. But I like them. The one thing I inherit from my grand-mother....a love of throw rugs everywhere. Everywhere. :-)
I also purged out our linen closet....ok, baffle me. Two full bags (as in 33 gal garbage bags) of old towels, sheets and pillowcases....which are going to a local animal shelter of R's choosing, since he's agreed to drop them off. I had 2 closets (they are side by side) and they were stuffed, overstuffed and stuffed some more. I got rid of stuff last night I couldn't even tell you where it had come from or how it had gotten to me...but now, it's gone. And I am a very happy person.
I am also stunned to see we have so many twin sheet sets. I shouldn't be since most of them came from my massage therapy days for my table, but still... :-)
Now, thank you for listening to all my babble there.
Let me get on to my wish:
Jamie asks:
What do you wish to savour?
On Wednesday all I could think of was cooler air...since R had brought the portable air conditioner that day (gods bless him, I swear). But for the dog and her issues, I got to sleep and actually sleep well that night.
Cooler air, devoid of humidity...since the humidity was just sapping my life away and killing me...
And I hold to that too...I am grateful every moment (at least til the electric bill comes in :-) ) for the air conditioners..and the fans...
Today however, I want to savour the sordid silence here, which is not true silence. Cartoons are playing. Fans are buzzing. So are the a/c units. I can't hear the birds outside right now, although I know they are out there. That cardinal has been talking to me for days on end now, trying to get me to listen.
There are the sounds of my children playing together. Earlier today, I watched my daughter read green eggs and ham to her little brother, while he sat still and rapt listening to her. Then he got his book (a collection of stories like if you give a mouse a cookie, and if you give a moose a muffin) while he went through the book and showed her things, and 'read' to her as well. With her correcting him throughout. (that's a muffin, not a cupcake) At least she was gentle about it this morning.
I am looking forward to being able (at LAST) to write today...and to finish adding colour to all these drawings I have that I haven't finished yet.
And I wish to savour the process I am working on via the flames picture (when I have the story clear I will share it, really).
I wish to savour the vanilla incense in the air. The piles of things waiting for me to get to them. And the fact that our flowers are still and yet in bloom. Well, at least some of them.
That's all I ask for today, for right now, this minute. I am happy. And so so grateful.
