The Knitting Journeyman

Gathering Up One Thread At A Time As I Weave This Web Of Mine.....

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Fear Is

Fear is
Looking at you from a distance
And seeing
The long line of past lives
Spiraling out behind you
Seeing myself
In the same way
Ever connected to you
From the Inception
Up to now
Fear is
Deciphering all those clues
Spirit left for me
Along the way
Ones you’ve seen
But let me be
Allowed me to follow
In my own way
Fear is
Looking into your eyes
And seeing myself
Reflected there
Seeing me
As you see me
Fear is
The complete and indefatigable
That I have in you
It is the unquestionable
I have in you
Fear is
Knowing the names of our
Those not yet born
Knowing you’re in no hurry
If they should come
Fear is
Knowing you’d rather wait
But my own kids
Stand at my side
Blocking that avenue
Fear is
Knowing I cannot hide
Not from you
Not even a little bit
Not inside
Not out
Fear is
Knowing if I ran
I wouldn’t be able
To go far at all
The thought of missing you
I could not handle it
Fear is
Opening my mind
And finding you
Already there
Fear is
The concept
Of never being without you
Of never losing you
Of always being
At your side
Fear is
The incredible tension
And sensation
That erupts
Throughout my body
When your breath
Laps the edge of my neck
Fear is
Melting in pleasure
At your touch
Your kiss
Your presence
Fear is
Visions of you
Stealing my breath
And leaving me weak
Fear is
It was always you
The one from
My dream
Fear is
The depth of my devotion
The need to protect
The pain in my head
As I watch you spar
With issues current
On your plate
Fear is
Wanting so desperately
To make everything
All right
Fear is
Spending the afternoon
Wrapped up
In your arms
Basking in the shine
The glow
Fear is
Just how truly
So perfect
A puzzle with pieces
Falling expertly into place
This feels
Every single time
Each and every moment
Fear is
Knowing where you are
What’s going on
How you’re feeling
How you’re dealing
From miles
Fearing is
Wanting to be so close
To you
My head against your chest
Waiting for the bell
To ring
And you to prepare
To leave
Fear is
Waiting for the phone to ring
Knowing you’re upset
And it’s not about me
Fear is
Falling asleep
Dreaming of you
And waking up alone
Wondering if this
Is all there can ever
Fear is
That it’s not really me
It’s just the situation
Once one problem
Is resolved
You won’t need me
Fear is
Wondering how much is true
And when drops
The other shoe
Fear is
Swallowing your breath
And wanting more
Fear is
Forgetting to breathe
Being unable to speak
And begging
One moment more
Fear is
Playing the game in my head
What if
What if
Fear is
The safe space I find
Tucked gently in your arms
Knowing that this
Is happiness
Fear is
Being unsure
Happy is something
I can handle
Or deal with
Fear is
Wanting all of this
Wanting all of you
Til it burns my soul
Til I can taste it
Fear is
No one else will ever
Be enough
Only you can
Fulfill me
Fear is
Being in love
And feeling so strange
Wanting to trumpet it
Unable to step up
Upon the stage
Fear is
Believing the rumors
Justifying the lies
Still wanting to try
Fear is
Loving you
With every bit
With every fiber
Against all odds
Despite friends and family
Despite age
And past and history
Fear is
Being so comfortable
Simply being with you
Talking to you
Sharing with you
Touching you
And feeling good
Just knowing
You are there
Fear is
Something I have to deal with
Until I know
Without a doubt
You’re honestly not going