I looked across the table
At this woman
Who is my friend
And I told her
So plainly
I know in my heart
He is a good man
I know we will be together
For the rest of our lives
I know I love him
Beyond better and worse
I walked away from that lunch
Thinking
Thinking all too hard
Pondering all too much
My heart knows
What my head does not
My heart feels
Where my head fears to tread
I love him
Of this I have no doubt
He can stop my heart
In just one breath
I feel safe in the knowledge
That he will be there
Never to let me fall
But my brain fights it
Fights it all
How can this be
I question me
Why would he want me
My heart tries to soothe
The beast in my brain
Roars unceasing
Untrue untrue
Such a cowardly thing to do
Philosophically
I just don’t know
How to trust
Or
How to relax
Or
How to be genuinely
Happy and content and joyful
For more than a few seconds
At a time
Here is a man
With his unconditional love
Who treats me
The way I treat him
As if he holds my heart
In the palm of his hand
Then again
He truly does
My heart insists
This is real
And permanent
And true
My brain is crying
Beware you fool
What does it take
To join the two
To calm the one down
So the other can heal
To embrace the beloved
And to allow things
To follow through
