Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Yellow Notebook
This is a little yellow notebook. I am posting it here now, before I give it away on Sunday, hoping that no one is going to scope out the blog beforehand and figure out what it is I am giving him. :-)
In this small notebook, bought at I think Michael's for $1 or something, with its hand-made in India paper and its string binding, I am adhering my love, my heart and quite possibly the tattered bits of my soul in my possession in permanent black ink.
He and I often joke about the reasons our relationship is so right, why we really should be and stay together. He said we should make up a list, so we can see, so we can discuss them.
This little yellow notebook is my list. There are plenty of pages left for him to fill in his side and his version.
Don't you think it will be a great thing to show the grand-kids one day?
Do you think it would be such a horrible thing to thank the ex--because if he weren't such a back-stabbing uncommunicative bore, I would never have decided to return to this area-I would never have walked into this relationship-and I would have missed the best and most perfect thing to ever happen to me? Of course, I would put it in a much prettier box, with far gentler verbiage and all that thoughtful kind stuff I do for the man. Is it really the thought that counts, because in a very wrong seeming way-I actually am grateful. None of this would have come about if he hadn't done the things he did. I hate to say I am grateful he is such a self-indulgent prick--but it is true. His horrid behavior has done nothing but bring vast improvements and beautiful things into my world and into my life. I hate to say-he really is/was such a good thing.
But in this relationship now-I have never known such happiness--and it is only heading towards getting better and better......