The Knitting Journeyman

Gathering Up One Thread At A Time As I Weave This Web Of Mine.....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Full Moon Dreaming Part 4 The Finale

Jamie asks:
What seeds will you plant this month? What do you want to bloom with this Full Flower Moon?

Leah asks:
When you reflect on the Full Flower Moon, what does it inspire in you? Perhaps some blossoming or blooming that is wanting to take place? Write, doodle, sketch, or paint whatever comes up.

I created my dream board this month almost entirely on automatic pilot. I allowed my subconscious to move and to guide me.
I did not seek to ask nor to understand it. I created it-and then I allowed it to sit on my brain and work things through, sort and store the imagery, find meanings where I saw none, allude and elucidate.

Then I asked my boyfriend to take a look at it and tell me what he saw. He saw alot more than I did, I guess, because what he said was a bit surprising to me. Although I know he is right. If anyone can tell me what I am thinking, he can. he knows what's in my heart and in my head before I do-literally. I don't think he's caught on to the fact that frequently I ask him questions so that I will have a clearer idea of what's on my mind. I don't mean this in a negative way or anything. I honestly do not know. He can articulate the vapid stirrings of my brain and shed light on things when I have not yet been able to-or when I have been too afraid to.

So, I am sitting here now, realising that this is a dream board-but it's more of a dream for life rather than for just one month.
I have been proud of myself lately for staying out of the future. And I still say I am not doing too badly in that realm. But that doesn't mean I don't need some reassurances, or some confirmations about flashes I get (and I get a whole bunch lately-and I figured out why on some things tonight).
I am truly hoping that the doors begin to open now, doors that will lead to where I want to be further on down the line.

My April dream board is still up where I can see it--not in the same spot as this month's dream board. But still visible. I found myself unable to put it away. It's power is still needed in my life, visibly. It's not something I can set aside and it will still work for me-although it would-I need to see it--to remind myself.

So, here's May's dream board. Stretched out above the altar in my bedroom. It is the first thing i see in the morning. I see it every time I walk into the room. I see it every time I spin in my office chair when I am bored or stuck or anything else.

What do I see when I look at this board?
A panda bear. :-) I am sticking w R's interpretation of the panda bear: love.
The whole board, in one way or another, is actually about Love.
Love between R and me. Love of our family. Traveling together. Being together. The interconnectedness of home and hearth.
There is ALOT of water in this board. Alot of river and ocean and waterfall. Water supposed means financial success. For me, it's a fertility thing-not just as in pregnant type of fertility-but financial fertility, creative fertility, good things cropping up all over.
Just as there is always some form of music in so much of my work lately, there are books. I am a writer. I am seeking to become a published writer. I wish to attain my goal of being a well-known sought-after published writer. But look at the books. They all seem to be art books. Which also leads me into my wish to draw and/or paint and/or whatever else -- and to sell my creations. I don't need to be a millionaire--I don't need to be Picasso or Manet or Degas or anyone else. I just want to be me. I want people to enjoy and appreciate what I create. If they are moved to purchase things, then yippee, because that means I can buy more art supplies. :-)
I already have the relationship I have been wishing for and dreaming about all my life. Funny how fairy tales work though. All these things that need to be worked out in order to live the dream. However, I have the clearest and utmost faith that these barriers will be taken care of quickly and without hassle (and so I do wish it). The relationship cannot move forward until these things are taken care of. And woe unto R and to me once those remaining barriers are taken care of. It's like watching a dam about to burst. Things are so good now--things are going to be so much better once that dam does burst. That is the scary part.

Elephants. Does anyone understand the elephants? What does an elephant mean to me?
Elephants are the Wise Elders, the Council. There is also a Native American on a horse in this board, not to mention Apache dancers (I didn't see what dance, but knew i had to use the picture). I believe they are all related. I believe it is a connection between the past and the present. A coming full circle sort of thing.
The panda bear? What does it mean to me?
Pandas are luck, fortuitous. And, yes, they are highly prized and beloved, like the sacred cow of India. So, good luck and good love.
There is gratitude and hard work and dedication in this board. Family connectins. Lovers hand in hand. Arm in arm. They range through ages and situations. Just as every season is represented. Spring, fall, summer, winter. They are all there.
As are all aspects of myself. From the wild out there child to the happy mother.

Butterflies symbolise rebirth. I have one on my ankle to show me breaking free and being rebourn after the divorce.
There are flowers in this board, but they are mostly buried under layers.
But there is a seedling-and that is pure new growth.

Outer space.
Family together. Family individuals apart.

All of this coalesces into a whole. From smaller parts the larger whole is created.

I wish for a syngeristic abundance and overflowing of good things in my life and those of my loved ones.
I even wish such things for the ex, so that he might learn and grow and be a better person, so we might be a better unit to parent our child together.
I wish for growth and development in all areas of my life, home, work, artistic, romantic.
I wish for long-term abundance and growth and creativity.
I am not afraid of hard work, or bumps in the road, or challenges.

Now--do you see what all five statements on this board say?
Hopelessly Romantic (which I definitely am)
Shape Your Life (which I am attempting to do yes)
We share the future (which I truly believe yes)
And the future looks bright (I honestly did not try to order these in any specific way-but hey-it works)
The fear of falling is nothing compared to the fear of never leaving the ground (nuff said)

I wish to always be hopelessly romantic and in love with my significant other (yes the current one! and the only one).
I wish to shape my life, into a rich abundant amazing tapestry of life enveloping my entire family, my friends, the world in general.
I wish to share my life with those I love best.
I wish to release my fears and fly higher than I am aiming to fly, because only then will I ever be who I am truly meant to be.

That's me, in a nutshell. And that's my dream board for this month.

And, as for Leah's suggestions, I do plan on doing alot of work in my art journal this month, for many reason. But I am certain there is going to be alot of working towards my goals this month. I feel a big push coming. :-) And I am so happy for it as well.